There and Back, chapter 5
The next day Shannon awoke, Sayid was still nowhere to be found. She didn't want to ask the others about him; it would be too humiliating. Instead she decided to go to the caves. A change of scenery would be good for her. Besides, maybe - just maybe - Sayid would be looking for her for a change.
Upon Shannon's arrival at the caves, she was immediately greeted by Claire. She and Charlie sat playing with baby Aaron. Shannon settled herself next to them, re-thinking her decision to come. Though she was happy for the couple, seeing them made her feel just how alone she was.
Charlie asked, "How is Sayid? That was something else, that gunpowder trick of his. Wow."
Shannon wasn't sure if he was really curious about Sayid or merely showing off how tough he was to endure having a wound cauterized.
Shannon swallowed hard, "I haven't seen him yet today. He's working on the transceiver." Shannon heard herself talking on and on about how busy Sayid was, how hard he was working. She said too much, talked too fast, and she knew it sounded like she was making excuses, but she couldn't stop herself.
Claire looked at her a minute, then turned to Charlie. "Would you mind getting us some fruit, maybe see if there is any fish anywhere?"
Charlie stared for a moment, seemed to understand her meaning, and said he'd be back in a while.
Claire placed Aaron, sweetly sleeping, in his homemade cradle and turned to Shannon. "Now tell me, what is going on."
Shannon couldn't take it anymore, she poured her heart out to Claire. This was not the Shannon Rutherford she knew herself to be. Insecure was not her middle name. Sure there was that useless factor, but even so around men she usually held the reins. Claire was a good friend. She didn't try to offer advice, just listened and made the appropriate comments from time to time: "I'm sure he still cares; he's just trying to find a way off this island."
Shannon barely heard her. She needed to talk. It felt good. Though it didn't really make her feel better, it just helped somehow.
She and Claire switched the subject to Aaron, and to Charlie. Claire blushed at the mention of Charlie's devotion to them. Shannon could tell Claire knew it to be true, but was still too shy to talk openly about him being more than a friend. They moved onto lighter topics, both grateful to talk about food and clothes, movies, old boyfriends - things they could laugh about.
It was nice to laugh, Shannon thought, gazing out at the water. Kate was there, filling water bottles. Being useful, Shannon thought with a sigh.
Just then Kate looked up and saw her. "Shannon." She said, approaching. "I saw Sayid a little while ago. He asked me to tell you that he and Ana are getting a lot accomplished on the transceiver."
"Oh." Shannon struggled to sound nonchalant.
"I haven't really talked to Ana. What's she like?" asked Claire, protectively trying to divert Kate's attention away from Shannon.
"She's cool. And a huge help with technical stuff." Kate smiled.
Shannon shut out Kate's voice. She couldn't listen to her going on and on about how smart Ana was, how helpful – everything she was not. Claire gave her a sympathetic smile, but Shannon wouldn't look her friend in the eye. She was too afraid of crying in front of Kate.
Finally Kate left to take the bottles back to the beach. Claire tried to squeeze Shannon's hand but she jerked away.
Shannon stood up and started walking. Enough. Enough. She needed a change, needed to get out of there. As she made her way out of the caves she overheard Dave talking to Tracy: he was heading back to Base Camp. Shannon stopped dead and faced him. "Can I go with you?"