So Deprived

Disclaimer: I wish I owned 'em sooo bad. Sadly the amazing author S.E Hinton does…So I just get to think about the boys dreamy look

A.N: The outsiders movie had such an awesome cast, I didn't stop drooling. Especially the Soda shower scene. I swear when he first gets out you can almost see everything. Shame they're all old now…although Matt Dillon looked really good in One Night at McCOOL's.

I'm proud that I hold this as the first pairing of it's kind ha! Go rare pairings!

Feel free to give constructive criticism. Just don't write saying "this pairing is impossible" it's a fanfic. Besides "Anything is possible".

EDIT Jan 22 2005- I was re-reading this story the other night, trying to think of how to write the final chapter after all this time, and I realized how much I've grown as a writer. I realized that some re-working was in order for these first chapters. I don't really have the time for drastic changes so it's not going to be completely up to par, but it'll be a slight improvement. I just was out of the fandom for so long and have been very bust lately. I'm in the process of writing the final chapter now and will edit these first four. Thank you to all those that were patient, and all that have reviewed.

Steve Randle has always tried not to think too much about things. Thinking about the things he does leads to regrets, and since he never regrets the things he does or the things that happen, thinking about them is out of the question. If he did think about them, things would just hurt, and Steve Randle doesn't hurt.

And he certainly doesn't regret what happened, even if he doesn't quite understand it. He still doesn't quite know why it happened. Then again, maybe on some level he does. Some very, very low level. Darry had been lonely and Steve had been kicked out yet again. Steve would deny being lonely though. He'd never admit to it even if the loneliness was consuming him. Lonely is another thing Steve Randle isn't. To avoid being even close to lonely he had headed over to the Curtis house like he always did. He didn't bring anything over anything but his DX clothes, because he figured he'd borrow a blanket and pillow like always, and he wouldn't need any other clothes. He got there and it was the usual routine. He had simply opened the door, walked in, and said "Old man kicked me out again" and no one had even glanced up. He spent the night playing poker with Soda and Ponyboy (they couldn't convince Darry to play. He'd wanted to get to sleep earlier because he'd had a hard day.) When Soda and Pony went to bed he was going to watch some T.V and then hit the sack. It was so normal, but that's how most strange thing's start he supposes.

That night he couldn't sleep, so he watched TV longer then normal. Steve figures that's when things went out of routine mode. Apparently he wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. He heard someone walk into the room and glanced up.

"You can't sleep either?" Darry asked, his voice sounded tired.

"That's what thinkin' does to you." He had muttered.

He guesses he hadn't really made that much sense because Darry asked him what he meant. "Thinking. It keeps you up." He said.

"Well now, I think that's the most profound thing I've ever heard you say."

"Usin' ur big words to try to make me feel dumb, eh super…man?" He'd stopped himself before he said dope again.

Darry gave him a cool look and had said, "Saved yourself there didn't you? Lucky for your jaw."

After a moment of silently watching TV that had become extremely dull, Darry asked him, "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing important."

"Meaning?"

"My family. What kept you up?"

"That's important." He said quietly, avoiding the question.

Steve merely shrugged, "I guess, and answer my question."

"My family."

Steve felt guilty, even without thinking about it too much. He looked over at Darry who'd turned back to the TV. The guy had grown up too fast. He looked more tired than he should at twenty, and Steve wondered when the last time he'd gotten laid was. He hadn't seen him out on a date since right before the accident. He wanted to ask Darry if he thought one day he'd get married. That'd be trending grounds for a deep conversation and Steve wasn't into that stuff. He did wonder about Darry though, how he went so long without being with someone, anyone. He wasn't bad looking, in fact he was pretty good. Steve had never really thought about it before since he hung out with The Girl Magnet—Soda—all the time. Darry was pretty deprived he guessed. He made sacrifices. Maybe he was even stronger mentally—and physically—then they all thought.

He decided he'd try a question that sounded…careless. "How long's it been since you got laid?"

"That's a strange way to change a topic."

"I wasn't tryin' to change the topic."

"Trying to get back at me for the profound remark?"

"No. I guess, judging by how defensive you are, that it's been a long time." Steve said in his usual flip, taunting way.

Darry just looked at him in a strange way "I guess it has…" and then Steve remembers the weirdest thing happening. Darry was suddenly kissing him. It wasn't one of those soft 'romantic' kisses. It was rough, hard and hot. He kissed him on his lips then around his jaw. Steve was surprised he didn't struggle. He had a vague recollection of sitting there in shock for a moment then kissing him back. He was kissing Daryl Curtis. It had to have been the strangest night of his life. He was surprised at how much it didn't bother him. He knew it should have, it was wrong. This was Darry. Neither of them was gay. It was just because Darry was deprived he decided. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't convince himself to fight back or that it was wrong enough to stop.

At the same time Darry kissed him he ran his hand down his stomach and slipped a hand into his pants. Steve's eyes widened and then fluttered shut as he got used to the sensation of having another male jerk him off. It was strange since he was used to girls soft, small hands wrapped around him, or even his own, but he wasn't exactly opposed to Darry's calloused, strong, and definitely experienced, hands. Steve felt like he was going to explode but Darry pulled his hand away before he could. He didn't remember when their pants—or the rest of their clothes for that matter—came off, but they had. He had looked Darry over a bit. All muscle. Steve was surprised by how turned on he was by this. Steve was still aching and was glad when Darry finally turned him over and started fucked him hard while simultaneously stroking Steve's arousal. He had a blurred memory of Darry telling him it was going to hurt at first but it would stop soon. He was right, it had hurt at first but after a while it felt amazing. He didn't have to worry about all the things he had to with girls. This was just hard and rough, how he liked it. Steve vaguely thought about how girls must feel. They always were this way, the ones being fucked, never the ones fucking. At least not like guys could. He wanted it to go on for a long time and was disappointed when it was over. Steve was surprised by how much he had enjoyed that. It was weird to have someone in him, especially Darry.

After they were done they stayed where they were for a moment.

"Ok?" Darry asked quietly.

He was rough but not cold. Steve nodded and wondered if Darry could tell he was nodding because of his position, so he flipped over and faced him. "For someone who hasn't done that in a while, you're pretty good." He said trying to cover up for how awkward he felt right then.

Darry pulled off him and Steve turned to face him. Darry looked at him with amusement, "As long as you don't start talking about feelings, I don't really care about what you say."

At first Steve wasn't sure if he was kidding or not, but he decided he was. He just wasn't really that used to that. Darry did look happier than he had for a while.

While Darry began to dress himself Steve started thinking. Maybe Darry hadn't wanted to be with any girls for a while…maybe he only liked guys. That was too weird for him to think, though. Darry wasn't gay. Neither was he. Maybe he was bi? Or just curious? It didn't feel wrong. It was supposed to be wrong, and it wasn't exactly something he was going to talk to Soda (or anyone) about the next day.

Darry gave him a sly grin "You're a good little fuck Steve."

"Fuck off."

"Just did thanks to you. Maybe now I'll be able to get some sleep." He went and headed off to bed without saying anything else.

Steve almost wished he had been able to put his question into words. He didn't quite get what had happened but he didn't dislike it. That was what almost bothered him. Almost. Things like sex didn't bother Steve Randle. It hurt him to think about these things that didn't have answers yet. He didn't like when things hurt him. He decided to try to clear his mind and hold out on thinking about these things. Things wouldn't penetrate through his barrier. After all Steve Randle doesn't let things get to him.

Revised it a bit, and am finally working on the last chapter. I'll post the next ones again soon. By the way, this was reposted since my old account was deleted.