There and Back, chapter 8
Shannon had been at the caves for a week before she even thought about going to the beach. She hadn't seen Sayid, or Ana for that matter. Things were going surprisingly well actually. Claire and Charlie were happy again, Kate, Jack and Sawyer had found their way back to their weird little triangle, and most amazing of all was that Sun had started talking again, albeit briefly. Shannon learned that Sun spent her mornings in her garden, her afternoons walking along the beach, occasionally gazing at the horizon but more often than not just staring down at the sand, letting it sift between her fingers and toes. One day Sun invited Shannon to spend the day with her, starting in her garden. Shannon was amazed at how much had grown since she had last been here. Sun showed her how to plant the seeds she had collected, one here, one there, cover, pat tightly, not too tightly, use the water they brought to make sure they were off to a good start.
"Gardens need to be cared for" was Sun's carefully worded response to Shannon's enthusiasm. "They need encouragement, room to grow, air, light, love." When she said this she looked directly at Shannon, eyes trying to convey that she meant this to be true about more than just gardening. "They need the right nourishment and occasionally, they need weeding." Sun continued her lesson, still looking straight into Shannon's eyes. Shannon nodded in assent, not sure what was expected of her.
Later they walked to the beach. Shannon's heart dipped when they first exited the jungle, the sun beating down on her. Was she sweating because she was hot or because she was nervous? She shook her hands to quell any jitters, then stepped out on the sand, furtively glancing around to see who was nearby. Who was she kidding? Shannon knew – and so did everyone else – she was looking to see if Sayid was there. She turned to follow Sun down towards the water and saw him. She knew it was him, even though she only saw his outline, the sun shining directly into her eyes. Shaking, she started sweating again. Shannon knew she was being ridiculous, and she ran to catch up with Sun. Still, she wondered if Sayid had seen her. She glanced around again, trying not to be obvious, and spied him again,working at his desk. He looked the other way – and he was not alone. Shannon's heart sank. She should have known Ana would be with him.
"Shannon", Sun interrupted her thoughts. "Shannon, do you love him?"
"I don't know", Shannon said, surprising herself with her honesty. "I thought I did, but…look at him. Look at her."
Sun looked down at her feet, and then raised her head to look out at the sea towards the horizon. "Shannon" Sun said, but her voice caught. She regained her composure and continued. "Jin left to try to find a way to save me, to save us. He risked his life for me. He loved me so much he would do anything to find a way to make me happy, to make my life better. He worked so hard on that raft."
Her voice trailed away again. After a moment, she said, "I wish I could have one moment back to try to make his life easier, to do something wonderful for him. To love him. Just to hold him."
Sun looked directly into Shannon's eyes. "What I am trying to say is the man you love is sitting just a few feet away from you. You have the choice. Will you put aside your pride and love him, hold him, make his life better, or do you have only your pride to keep you warm at night."
Shannon stared off into the distance, hearing her words but not knowing what to do with them. She seemed at war within herself; battling pride, loneliness, fear and desire. Shannon turned her head briefly again and looked towards Sayid's shelter, her heart heavy as she watched the two pouring over the transceiver.
"Sun, you don't understand, look at him. At them. They have so much in common. What do we have in common? Nothing. I know nothing about transceivers, nothing about anything that could help us, just a little French, whatever good that is."
Sun frowned briefly at Shannon. "He doesn't love her, you know. Yes he spends time with her, yes they have much in common, but he doesn't love her. He doesn't look at her the way he looks at you. I've seen it. Just think about what I have said. You need to choose for yourself what you want to do." Sun stood and started heading back to the caves, Shannon following not far behind.