Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: Say You Love Me Too

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Previously: Jed learns the specifics of Abbey's injuries, including her memory problems; Abbey decides she'd rather go home to Boston than home with Jed when she's released from the hospital

Summary: Jed has to tell Lizzie and Ellie about Abbey's condition; Abbey gets to spend time with her daughters; Jed turns to his faith - and Father Tom Cavanaugh - for guidance

- - -

Jed glanced at his clock the second he walked through the front door. It was nearly 11 a.m. and the whirlwind of emotions that left him drained and exhausted were now coming to a slow and steady collision with the facts of the situation. It was a reality he had to face. One he had to help his daughters face.

That was going to be the hard part.

First he checked on Ellie. His heart nearly failed him when he realized she wasn't in her bed. He rushed to Liz's room and was immediately swept up in an overwhelming sea of relief. Ellie had crawled into bed with Lizzie and as usual, Lizzie had been accommodating. She was like Abbey in that regard. Always the big sister.

He hoped they were both sleeping peacefully, completely oblivious to the nightmare they'd learn about when they woke up. With a feather-light touch of his finger, he brushed a strand of Ellie's strawberry blond hair off to the side of her forehead and kneeled slightly to drop a delicate kiss. It was only then that he allowed a few tears to make their way silently down his cheeks.

He traipsed quietly to the other side of the bed, but just as he bent down to give Liz a kiss, her eyes sprang open.

"What are you doing up?" he whispered as he quickly dried his eyes.

"I wanted Grandma to think I went to sleep. But I wanted to wait for you. Where's Mom?"

"She's still at the hospital. You were up all night. You should sleep. We'll talk later."

"No. I wanna talk now." She looked at him with furrowed brows, a clear sign of her strong-willed personality, and an even clearer sign of her sadness. "Please."

With his index finger pressed against his lips, he took her hand and led her out of the room. "I don't want to wake your sister."

Lizzie took a seat on the sofa right next to her father. "Is she okay?"

"Your mom is going to be okay, yes. But something happened. For starters, she hurt her hands. She may have to have surgery." Seeing her frightened expression, he patted her shoulder for reassurance. "It's minor surgery, Sweetheart. She may not even need it. It all depends on the physical therapy."

"What happened?"

"We're not sure."

The conversation was abruptly interrupted by the sharp cries coming from her room.

"Lizzie!" Ellie's voice was faint, drowned out by obvious tears.

"Hey, Princess," Jed called to her as he walked in. "Lizzie's fine. She's out here with me."

"Daddy!" He lifted her into his arms, allowing her to bury her face in his shoulder as she always did after a nightmare. Her broken sobs becoming softer, she raised her head only slightly. "Where's Mommy?"

"She had a little accident, Sweetie, but she's okay. She's at the hospital and I'm sure she'd love to see you! So how about this afternoon, I take you both down there, okay?"

"Okay."

"Daddy?" He looked back to see Liz still standing in the doorway patiently waiting to finish the conversation he had started moments before.

With Ellie in his lap, he sat down on the bed and invited Liz to join them. "Because of her accident, your mom is having trouble remembering some things."

"What kinds of things?" Liz asked.

"She doesn't remember much about what happened to her. She doesn't remember a lot about her life."

"She has amnesia?"

Surprised to hear her say the word, he bit his tongue and sighed. "Yeah."

If only it was as easy with Ellie. "What's that?"

"It's like that story you read. The one about the little girl named Lucy who fell down and hit her head and forgot who she was and so she ends up living with a rabbit in the forest until her friends find her."

What kinds of books were his daughters reading, he wondered. It wasn't exactly like that, but Liz was doing better than he was. At least she found a way to make Ellie understand - almost.

"Is Mommy going to live in the forest?"

"No, no, she's not. She is going to go home with Grandma and Grandpa for a few days. In fact, if you guys want to, you can go stay with them too. It'll just be for 3 or 4 days, maybe a week."

"Then she'll come home?"

"I hope so."

"What about you?" Jed was pleasantly surprised. That was a question that would usually come from Lizzie, not Ellie.

"Well..." He geared himself up for the lie that was coming. "I'm going to be fine. But I'm going to have to stay here. I have finals to prepare for my students. I'll be really busy this week."

He could fool his younger daughter, but not his older one. She saw through his strong veneer and sensed the pain that was hiding underneath. She had seen it from the start. She had seen him wipe fresh tears from his face when he thought she was sleeping. She had heard the anguish behind his words when he told her Abbey didn't remember her life. She was a smart, precocious girl, willing to let him feign a brave front, but unwilling to be duped by it.

- - -

Meanwhile, Abbey sat up in her hospital bed, flipping through pictures of her daughters. Her mother sat next to her, her father in a chair across the room.

"It's useless!" she cried. She had hoped that pictures would jog her memory. But they didn't. An entire piece of her life was missing and beyond the confusion she felt, was a layer of resentment and anger.

"It's okay," Mary said calmly. "It'll happen. Just give it some time."

"I just don't understand why I can't remember them."

"Abigail, you heard the doctor. This kind of thing isn't that uncommon. Most people get their memory back in a few hours or a couple of days."

"Not most, Dad. Some. Many people still don't have their memory back in a year."

"You're not going to be one of those people." His determination didn't even give her pause.

Overwrought with sensitivity, she dropped the subject. "So Ellie is four and Elizabeth is..."

"Ellie is four and a half," Mary quickly replied. "Don't forget the half. It's very important to her. And you call Elizabeth 'Lizzie.' If you call her Elizabeth, she'll think she's in trouble."

Abbey allowed a small smile, the first sincere one since this ordeal began. "Is she in trouble a lot?"

"No. She's a good kid. They both are. You and Jed raised them well. Lizzie just had a birthday two months ago, so she's 11. She's finishing the fifth grade and Ellie will be starting kindergarten in the fall."

"And Jed?"

"Jed is very special. He loves you so much." She looked to her husband for affirmation. "Doesn't he, James?"

"Yes, he does. He really does."

"But just for today, don't worry as much about Jed. He knows what's going on. It's the kids you should focus on. They're the ones who don't understand. Tomorrow, we'll work on Jed."

"By tomorrow, she may not need to. She may remember all on her own." James's undying optimism was a family trait that Abbey had inherited. But this time, it was it was his and his alone.

When Jed and the girls arrived, Abbey was as prepared as possible. She sat up in her bed, ready and eager to see her daughters, but because she was unsure what to expect, she asked her mother to stay with her.

Never any good at hiding even a hint of enthusiasm, Ellie ran to Abbey's bedside shouting at her along the way. "Mommy!"

Abbey reached for her at first, then quickly retracted her injured hands as Jed lifted her onto the bed. She thanked him with an appreciative glance before she hugged the young girl, holding her tight to her chest. For a split second, a feeling of familiarity took over her senses. But it disappeared just as quickly as it came.

For the next several minutes, it was as if Ellie had disregarded everything her father had told her. All that mattered was that Abbey was sitting in front of her and giving her the attention she wanted.

Elizabeth was more cautious. She stood in the back of the room and watched every move her mother made. Her eyes were glued to the bruises on her face. One was at the corner of her lips, a bit red and swollen. Another across her cheekbone, blue and purple, as if she had been struck with the back of a hand. The bandages around her hands covered her palms entirely, even overflowing to her right middle and index fingers.

"Lizzie?" Abbey called her name just as gingerly. "Come on over here."

She walked as slowly as possible, never quite warming up to the idea of facing a mother who didn't recognize her. "Hi."

"Hi." Abbey was immediately taken by her sapphire-colored eyes. They were sharp and clear, as if reminiscent of someone she knew.

She glanced at Ellie to reconfirm what she had felt only moments earlier. The four-year-old's soft golden curls gathered around her shoulders with only a slight hint of an auburn hue. With blue-green eyes and a gorgeous peaches and cream complexion, she resembled Abbey's sister, Kate.

But not Lizzie. Lizzie was just as beautiful and just as sweet, but Lizzie didn't look like Abbey's side of the family. Her thick chestnut hair hung to the middle of her back, only a few waves keeping it from a straight fall. A light dusting of bangs covered one side of her forehead, barely brushing her lashes. And her face - that was familiar too. She looked like her father.

Call it a mother's instinct. She may not have remembered them, but she knew she loved them. It was a feeling that could never be replaced, one that could never be denied. Her frustration of the unknown may have initially provoked her to relearn her past, but the two little girls sitting beside her were her motivation. She was more determined than ever.

Feeling like an outsider intruding on a private moment, Jed left the room, followed immediately by James.

"Jed?" The older man called for him.

"I just need a minute." He bent forward and rubbed his head against his fingertips.

"Have you been to sleep yet?"

"I can't sleep."

"You need to."

"Please don't."

James quickly conceded. "Do you want to let the girls come stay with us?"

"It's up to them. Ellie's all for it. Lizzie said she'd go, but she may change her mind."

"If she does, I'll bring her home."

It was obvious this would be difficult on everyone, but he didn't realize just how difficult it may turn out to be for Jed. "It's the end of the school year, so I'll have to get her assignments from her teacher and bring them to her."

"It's just for a week, Jed. Just give Abbey time to adjust."

A week. That's all it was supposed to be. One week and hopefully, Abbey would recover completely. But it was a long week, one that Jed could barely survive.

- - -

The first day, Jed didn't sleep or eat. He was overcome with worry and a bit of lingering denial. The second day, he managed to collapse on his deserted bed, allowing his emotions to spill violently from his body until an unruly exhaustion took over, forcing him to close his eyes and drift towards slumber. Day three brought a bit of a distraction. He taught his classes at the university, but avoided driving to Concord that evening. In his two years in the State House, he had never missed a vote. Never before now.

By the fourth day, he found himself pacing outside his church, the very church he attended as a young boy with his parents, the church that gave him years of inspiration and even sparked his interest in the priesthood.

He eventually went in and made his way to the middle pew, falling back against one before sitting comfortably and leaning forward onto another.

It didn't take long for Father Cavanaugh to notice his presence. Tom Cavanaugh, arguably one of the most influential people in Jed's life, the person Jed turned to as a young boy to make sense of the world, of his life, or his relationship with his parents.

Now he was back. And this time, it wasn't just for guidance.

"I didn't see you at Sunday Mass."

"I had other things on my mind," Jed replied coolly.

"How is she?" Word had spread quickly throughout their circle of friends.

"As well as can be expected."

"We're all keeping her in our prayers."

Jed turned towards Tom for a split second. He opened his mouth as if ready to share his reply, then pulled away. He stared straight ahead and changed direction. "You know the legislative session is coming to a close."

"Yeah."

"When I got into politics that first year, all the senior House members scurried around looking for a freshman to mentor. That's how it works." He paused and faced the priest. "Did you know that?"

"No, I didn't."

With a nod, he returned his attention towards the altar. "I still remember what the poor schmuck who ended up with me had to say. He said 'Jed, there will be bills that you want to have passed and ones that NEED to have passed. Pick your battles. Don't fight everything because when it comes to something you really need, there will be no fight left in you.'"

"Sounds like a good policy."

"I thought so too. Last month, a colleague of mine approached me about cosponsoring a bill. Its purpose is to require a mandatory minimum prison sentence for offenders of violent crimes against women. I knew we'd get some resistance because some would feel the bill was discriminatory. So, I passed. I told him that while I'd vote for it, I wouldn't sponsor it. I have a wife and two daughters and I never imagined that they could be in danger. It never occurred to me that this kind of thing could happen to us."

"No one expects this."

He paused once again and took in a deep breath before continuing. "Just last month, I refused to sign my name to a bill that would protect women because I wanted to avoid a political fight. So you gotta ask yourself. Is this supposed to be irony or penance?"

"That's not the Church's definition of that word, Jed," Tom reminded him, a layer of bitterness lacing his words. "You know that."

"How do I know that? You can tell me over and over again that God is a loving God, but you can't tell me why He allowed this to happen. Why Abbey? This is a woman who has dedicated her life to saving others. Why wasn't He with her when she left the hospital that night?"

"He was." Jed let out a light sputter in response. "He kept her alive."

"She doesn't remember anything about her life since May 1965. I didn't meet her until December of that year."

"I know."

"They say it's only temporary, that she could get her memory back at any moment. But I don't think she will, not without help. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do for her."

"Help her to remember. Abbey needs you more than ever. She's walking around in a daze. People are telling her it's 14 years later than what she thinks it is. She's confused and probably angry and frustrated, much like yourself."

"I can't very well expect her to open up to me when she doesn't trust me." His lower lip quivered as he finished his statement. "I think she's scared of me." It was obvious that was the most painful aspect for Jed.

"Because she doesn't know you. You have to change that. Let her get to know you again. Once she realizes you're not going to hurt her, she'll trust you. You're the only person who can teach her about your life together. You're the only one who can help her remember your marriage."

"Let her get to know me?"

"From the beginning. That's the only way you can reach her."

Tom made it sound easy, easier than Jed believed it was. But it didn't matter. He had closed himself off for the past four days, fearing the only option available - to sit and wait. But now, he felt differently. Now there was hope. He wasn't a helpless being, forced to surrender his fate to the psychological warfare taking place inside Abbey's mind.

Memory or not, he had made her fall in love with him once. He was up to the challenge of doing it again.

TBC