"Jaymes, I want a divorce."

Silence. Complete and utter silence filled the inside of the vehicle. Then sounds started to creep back into the stillness: the muted tones of traffic and the honking horns from behind them when Jaymes didn't respond immediately to the light turning green.

He finally moved forward, his hands gripping the wheel tightly. After approximately ten minutes of tension so thick that you could scoop it onto pie, he spoke.

"What do you mean you want a divorce? What about the kids: Brady, Li-Li, Ghany and Fire? What about them? Have you thought this through?"

Trudy looked over at him. "What about the children? The ones you so conveniently left out: Duncan, Precious and Ahava; what about them as well?"

"What about them, Trudy? We've been over this more times that I care to count. I thought we were past this. And do you really think now is a good time to be having this conversation?"

She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead, her back ramrod stiff. "When would have been a better time to have this discussion? You are always either on a case or practicing at the range or hunting with your stupid macho friends or visiting with your other children and their mothers. Heaven forbid you should have a spare moment or a kind gesture for your legitimate children or worse still, their mother."

Jaymes looked over at Trudy then back at the road, changing lanes quickly to go around a slow-moving minivan.

"Be careful Jaymes, You don't like it when I drive like that."

He faced her again. "You know I'm in full control of this vehicle at all times. It's like an extension of my…"

The end of his sentence was cut off by the horrified look on Trudy's face, accompanied by a screamed, "Jaymes, watch the road!"

Jaymes looked forward; he was almost upon a late-model Honda. He reacted quickly, jerking the wheel to the right, but he wasn't fast enough. The SUV clipped the right rear bumper of the sedan and spun out, striking the guardrail before flipping off the roadway. It rolled over several times before coming to a stop at the bottom of the ravine. The car settled with loud thunk as it stopped on its roof, the passenger door crushed in by the small boulder it had fallen on.

"Trudy? Are you okay? Trudy!" Jaymes asked frantically, panicked when the low moans she had been making previously ceased.

"I'm here, just…so…tired." Her voice was a mere whisper, pain-filled and painful to hear.

"Don't go to sleep. Trudy, can you hear me? You have to stay awake. Trudy, wake up!"

She jerked her head in his direction, wincing, reaching down to touch a particularly throbbing spot on her forehead. As she touched the spot, a thousand points of light exploded behind her eyes and she passed out, her body shielding her from the pain.

Trudy could feel herself floating, drifting above the scene playing out before her. She could see…herself lying in the hospital bed, Bray by her side, grimacing as she crushed his hand with hers as another contraction rippled through her body. Vaguely hearing the doctor encourage her to push "just one more time," her gathering all her energies to do just that and then whoosh! Out she came, her little girl, her Brady, with her perfect little fingers and toes and her daddy's blue eyes. It had been the happiest day of her life to date.

Trudy blinked back tears. That was still one of the happiest days of her life. But before she knew it, she was floating again, drifting to another time and another place. Her and Jaymes having dinner at The Forge. He had been even more charming than usual; the candles had seemed to shine brighter, the champagne more crisp on her tongue, the shrimp she had eaten had been the most tender, juiciest morsels she had ever tasted. And then, it had gotten even better. Somewhere between the entrée and the Death by Chocolate cake, he had slipped the ring on her finger, holding her hands in his and looking deep into her eyes and asked her to marry him. Of course, she had said yes. The entire restaurant had heard her, and she had not cared, she had been so happy.

Jaymes struggled against his seat belt. His own head was swimming and his right arm felt useless to him. He was certain it was broken. But he couldn't give in, he had to get to Trudy, he had to, he just had to…without him even realizing, everything went black; no transition, he just went from being awake to…not.

He looked down at the tiny pink bundle in his arms. Her face was all smooshed in, the top of her little head was slightly pointy and she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen; his first-born child. He trailed a comparatively large finger down her soft, plump cheek and she turned her head towards it, making sucking motions with her mouth. "I think she wants you." He said to Gat, who was beaming at the picture of Jaymes and the baby. He handed over the precious package, his eyes moistening as she adjusted her clothing to allow the baby to nurse.

"What are we going to call her?"

Gat smiled at him serenely. "What do you think of the name 'Ahava'?"

Like rapidly flipping the channels of a TV, a kaleidoscope of images spun before his eyes, finally settling on one of the most horrifying memories he had ever had, one he would like erased completely from his mind.

Adrenaline flooded his veins, his gun held in a two-hand grip, pointed skywards as he crept cautiously through the apartment of a known drug dealer. They had been after him for months and they had finally acquired enough evidence to get a warrant, and now here they were, getting ready to bust him and take him off the streets.

"Jaffa, you have no way out. Come out with your hands in the air." Jaymes yelled, motioning with his head for his partner Lex to come around on the other side.

"I'd rather die, pig! That's the only way you're going to take me." Jaffa responded, letting loose a spray of bullets in Jaymes' general direction.

Jaymes answered back with fire of his own, then told Lex to cover him as he ducked and rolled through the doorway, coming to a stop crouched behind the sofa in the living room. Jaffa was in the bedroom doorway, also crouched, as he stuck his blond head out, Jaymes fired, just missing as the criminal ducked, the shot going harmlessly through the door; or perhaps not so harmlessly. A scream rang out from the bedroom, a feminine scream that caught Jaffa's attention. He turned towards her, giving Jaymes what he had been waiting for: a clean shot. He squeezed the trigger, catching Jaffa in the shoulder, his body spinning before falling to the ground.

Jaymes ran over to him, kicking the gun out of the drug-dealer's hand. He quickly searched him for other weapons, and finding none, pressed down on the wound while he called out the Lex to call for an ambulance. He was not prepared for the attack of the virago that ran out of the bedroom shrieking, her arms outstretched and her fingers curled into claws. She raked a hand down his cheek, scratching him deeply, then beat at him about the head with both hands, screaming the entire time.

"You killed him, you bastard, you killed him."

He raised up off Jaffa, needing both hands to subdue her, finally capturing both of her hands in his.

"Stop fighting lady, Jaffa's not dead, he's only wounded. I assure you he will fully recover, and in time for his trial."

She screamed, loud and long in his ear. "Not him, you murderer! You killed my baby, you killed my precious Tree." Her screams turned into sobs and she went limp, as if all the fight had gone out of her.

"Lex, get over here and restrain her. I—I need to go inside the bedroom." He handed off the distraught woman to his partner, slowly entering the bedroom. He was not prepared for what he saw. There, on the bedroom floor, the body of a little girl, dressed in pink and white, except now her dress was stained with red: blood. The blood on his hands; he had killed her, this little girl, not much older than Brady.

"Noooooooooooooo!"

The world went black.

"Jaymes, Jaymes are you okay?" Trudy asked softly. It was all she could manage. Her head still felt like it was going to split open and hanging upside-down like she was didn't help any. She gingerly reached for her seatbelt, releasing the clasp. She fell headfirst onto the roof of the truck. Not a smart idea…and again she was out.

"Mommy, when is Daddy coming home?" Brady gripped her bear tightly, needing its reassuring presence in these unsettled times.

Trudy knelt in front of her daughter, observing her closely. Brady had taken to Jaymes almost immediately, bonding with him to the extent that he was in fact her father in every way except biological. And she was most definitely 'Daddy's Little Girl', and therefore felt his absence right down to her little toes. She looked so forlorn, so lost as she beseeched her mother to bring her Daddy home.

Damn you Jaymes, Trudy thought as she saw how torn up their daughter was. He'd been gone for three months now. Leaving after the last big blow-up she and he had had over his drinking. He had not been able to cope with his accidental killing of a child, even though the review board cleared him of any wrongdoing. He had started drinking heavily and his Captain had put him on indefinite leave, telling him he needed to straighten himself out, to talk to the station's psychiatrist. It hadn't worked. The drinking had continued until Trudy couldn't take it anymore, telling him it was the booze or his family. He had chosen the booze and they hadn't seen him since.

He moved his head side-to-side slowly. It still hurt quite a bit. But his arm had gone numb; not a good sign. He looked over and saw Trudy curled up on the roof of the truck. Right; he needed to release his belt as well, because although his arm was broken and they were both possibly concussed, it was freezing outside and they needed heat. He reached over with his good hand, setting himself free. He was fairly tall and did not fall very far. He moved himself around, scooting closer to his wife, using his good arm to pull her to him. She was chilled but soon warmth filled them, a little too much warmth. He was feeling drowsy…

She was so beautiful, this woman sleeping so peacefully beside him. Even more so than when she was awake because in slumber her face softened, allowing the natural beauty to shine through. Although you couldn't see the emerald sparkle of her eyes, you could see the lush fullness of her mouth and the inner translucence of her skin, even her braids seemed softer somehow as they curled around her shoulders.

He picked up a strand, drawing it softly down her cheek. She screwed up her face like a child and raised a hand to bat it away, but did not awaken. He smiled and drew the braid from her cheek to her neck. She batted at it again, but did not awaken. He grinned and eyes sparkling, trailed the hair down into the cleavage revealed by her low-necked gown, replacing it with his finger as he moved closer the valley between her breasts.

"Don't you think you've played enough?"

He froze, meeting her eyes. "You were awake?"

She grinned mischievously at him. "Misspent youth. I sleep lightly." She licked her lips, her grin widening when his eyes dropped to follow her tongue dampening them.

He flushed at her catching him staring, but then his expression got serious. "Thank you."

"For what?" She gave him confused look.

"For saving me. I would probably be dead now if it were not for you."

She shook her head, her braids grazing his chest and arms. She held his head in both her hands, drawing it to within inches of hers. "Listen to me. You were not going to die. You would have gotten better, with a little more time. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't."

He tried to turn his head away, but she would not let go. He settled on looking down.

"Jaymes." No response. "Jaymes, look at me." He looked up. "I have some wonderful news." He tilted his head sideways. "We're going to have a baby, Jaymes; you're going to be a father."

He was going to be a father. He was a father. Li-Li, Ghany, Brady; he had to go, he had to go home.

Oh it was so warm and cozy. Just like old times, Jaymes holding her, his big body giving off so much heat it was like burning. She nuzzled her head into his neck and gasped. That hurt! Why did it hurt? She blinked owlishly and opened her eyes. Recollection came slowly. They were not in their bed. They were in the truck. They had an accident and were still waiting for help. She had hit her head and it hurt, a lot. She needed to stay awake, because, because…

Two rings, three rings "Hello?" A huskily feminine voice answered the phone; it oozed sensuality. Trudy had never met her, but already hated her, this rival for her husband's attention and his heart. Sure, Jaymes had said it was over, once he had come home, but still saw her when he went to spend time with his children, Duncan and Precious. The names were like knife-stabs to her heart. They were only six months older than Fiona, or Fire as they had taken to calling her, with her head of flaming red hair. He should be home with them, not with her, Ebony he called her. What kind of name was that anyway?

She could hear Jaymes in the background, "Who wants to ride the horsey? Not both of you at the same; my little Precious, do you want to ride the horsey?" Trudy felt moisture prick her eyes. How many times had Jaymes done the same thing for Brady and Li-Li and Ghany? Fire was still too young, but certainly she would get her chance too?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sultry voice. "Is anyone there? I'm hanging up now." Trudy beat her to it, dropping the phone with a loud clatter. I hope her eardrums burst. Oh God, that was petty. When did I become like this? What has happened to me?

"Mama, play?" She whirled around; Ghany stood in the doorway of her bedroom, holding his blocks.

"Just a second, sweetie. Mama needs just a second." She smiled at him, as she wiped the moisture away from her cheeks.

"Mama sad?" He scrunched up his little face, more than ready to cry along with her.

She walked over to him and scooped him up into her arms, holding him tightly, smelling his soft little boy scent. "No, Ghany. Mama's not sad, not as long as she has her little man with her."

God, he was exhausted. The case he and Lex had been working concluded at 6, he glanced at his watch, yesterday morning. It was past midnight? And he hadn't even been home yet? Trudy was going to kill him. She would have been simmering all day. But what could he do? Ahava had been ill, and calling for her Daddy, surely Trudy would understand? He would understand if Martin had still been alive and Brady asked for him. Okay, maybe not, but still. He stopped at the front door. Bracing himself, he unlocked it and felt himself punched in the stomach. Not physically, but the emotional impact was just as strong.

The entry hallway was strewn with balloons and streamers, and a banner at the end of it read 'Happy Birthday'. Torn and balled up wrapping paper littered one corning of the living room, while a plastic 'tail' was stuck in the wall a foot away from a cardboard donkey poster. A trail of small candies extended haphazardly from the living room to the dining room, with a bigger collection scattered beneath a much-beaten Dora the Explorer piñata.

He had missed the twins' party. The entire thing. He walked further into the room, not noticing when his suit-jacket slipped from his fingers. He almost bumped into Trudy, who came out of the kitchen, looking tired and angry as she headed towards the table. He grabbed her arm.

She stopped, but didn't look at him. "Let me go, Jaymes." He pulled her into his arms. "You know I don't like being against your holster. Let me go."

He held her in one arm, using his other hand to awkwardly remove his shoulder holster. He pulled her into his arms again. "I'm so sorry Trudy. So, so sorry. Ahava needed me. I had to be there." He felt her tense at the mention of his eldest daughter's name. Then she actively tried to get him to release her, struggling in his arms.

"Let me go Jaymes, let me go." She stopped struggling, beginning to cry. Her knees weakened and not expecting it, his arms couldn't hold her and she dropped to the floor. She sat there, crying.

He crouched down in front of her.

"They wanted their Daddy, Jaymes. All their friends were there, and their sisters, even 'Uncle Lex' managed to be there, but they wanted the one person who wasn't there: their Daddy." She looked up at him. "They may be young and their conscious minds might not remember, but it will be there in the subconscious, the memory that when they needed their daddy, he wasn't there. I'm not blaming Ahava, I would never wish sickness on any child, but Jaymes you have to see that you can't continue on this way. You can't be there for them all. Someone will always be short-changed."

"You're only one man, Jaymes. A good man, a strong man, but you're not a superman. You cannot be everywhere at once. You're spreading yourself too thin. I swore to myself that I would never do this, but I don't see any other option."

She pinned him with her gaze, blinking past the moisture. "You have to choose, Jaymes. You are either in our lives or you're not. It can't be half-time. Your children deserve more than that. I deserve more than that.

"Ma'am, sir, are you okay." A male voice called from outside Jaymes window. They both jerked to consciousness, wincing at the suddenness of their movements. They blearily looked out of the window, seeing a large blond man crouched outside shining a flashlight into the truck, peering at them with concern. Seeing that they were awake, he said. "My name is Ryan and I saw your truck go off the highway. Help is on the way, okay?"

Jaymes nodded, wincing. "Thank you…Ryan" he said slowly.

They could hear a siren wailing, the distant noise coming closer. Ryan jumped up. "Oh, that's the ambulance. I'll just go direct them. Don't go anywhere, alright?" He flushed, realizing what he had said and hesitated for a moment before climbing up the slope.

Left alone, the couple looked at each other.

"Jaymes, I—" Trudy began.

"Trudy, you were—" He began as well.

"Ladies, first."

"No, you go."

He took a deep breath. "Okay. Trudy you were right. I can't keep short-changing you or the children. I won't fight the divorce."

"It's a good thing I don't want one then." She laughed at his comical expression.

"But why? What about Ahava and Precious and Duncan."

"What about them? You love them with the same devotion you give to our children. As a matter of fact, I would think less of you if you didn't. That's what makes you the man you are, the man I love. We will just have to work something out, a schedule or something. And I think it's time the kids met their siblings."

"Are you—are you sure, Trudy? That's asking a lot…" He said it cautiously, as if he was receiving a present he expected to be yanked out of his hands at any second.

"Yes I'm sure; I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. That way you don't have to split your time. You could spend time with all of them at once. That is if it's okay with Gattaca and Ebony?"

Tears spilled forth from his eyes and he didn't wipe them away. "Trudy, I—I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything. We could have died tonight. Our children could have been orphans. But it doesn't end there. Ahava, Precious and Duncan would have lost their father too. Although Martin is gone, Brady doesn't know what it feels like to not have a father. I couldn't do that to those children. I realized that tonight. It hasn't been easy these last couple of years. But I can't allow those years to wipe out all the good ones that came before, and the ones yet to come. I love you too much."

"And I love you." He squeezed her close with his good arm, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. Vaguely he heard the noises of people coming to rescue them, but there with his wife, he knew he was already saved.