Title: Unknown

Chapter 16

-

Leaning against my locker, I close my eyes tight, cradling the cell phone in my right hand. With the index finger of my left hand, I trace the grooves of Eric's locker.

"You all right, Timmy?" Mark asks.

Shrugging, I say, "It's just good to hear your voice."

"You having a rough case?" Mark's voice is gentle and quiet, concern lacing every word.

If he knew how I betrayed him last night…

"Nah," I say, gripping the cell phone like a vice. I close my eyes and lean back hard against the cool metal of the locker.

"Horatio on your back?"

Letting out a breath, I say, "No. I mean, he's in a mood, but it's fine. So, uh, when are you coming home?"

"Miss me?" Mark asks, chuckling softly.

"Well, yeah," I say. "I'm going crazy without you."

About then, I realize I'm not alone, so I open my eyes and scan the locker room. Soon, my gaze falls on the doorway, where I find Eric standing there, his eyes boring into me.

Eric, my coconspirator.

It's funny. I never pictured myself as the kind of guy who would betray the man he loves, but that's exactly what I did last night. I mean, all Eric and I did was kiss. But I'm having trouble thinking of what we shared as "just a kiss."

"Hang on, Mark." I cover the mouthpiece of the phone. "What?" I say to Eric.

Eric licks his bottom lip and points over his shoulder. "Calleigh needs you in trace."

I nod. "And so you came to look for me? What? You're the lab messenger boy now?"

Crossing his arms, Eric takes a step forward. "Look, she said she needs you," he says. "I'm trying to help is all."

I narrow my eyes. "Hang on. Mark?"

"Duty calls?" Mark asks.

"Something like that," I say, shooting a look at Eric. "Think you can get home early, babe?"

Grimacing, Eric leans against the wall with a thud.

"Well, hon," Mark says. "I'd rather be with you than talking to a room full of suits about the degradation of the Everglades."

"But you're trapped."

"Like a caged animal," Mark laughs.

"All right," I say. "Well, I love you, hon. Just come home."

Before I do something colossally stupid with Eric.

Snapping the cell phone closed, I stride out of the locker room into the hallway, Eric close behind me.

It's funny. I've heard people say that sometimes a kiss can be more significant than the lovemaking process itself. I'm not sure what I think about that, but what I shared with Eric last night…I don't know. It's like we have some weird claim on each other now…like we've bonded in some momentous way.

"So, is he coming home early?" Eric asks.

"Probably not," I say. "Why? Plotting your next move?"

Eric comes to a stop in the middle of the hallway, his body stiff. He takes in a deep breath, and then slowly releases it.

Rolling my eyes, I trudge back to him. "Sorry," I say, stopping in front of him.

"No, you're not," Eric says.

I cock my head at Eric for a moment, my tongue pressing against the inside of my cheek. Shrugging, I finally say, "You're right. I'm not."

Laughing dryly, Eric opens his mouth to reply, but then he just shakes his head. After a few seconds, he takes a step forward and says, "Look, Speed…I crossed the line last night."

Eric's words cause a sense of relief to flood over me, and I immediately feel the tension start to leave my shoulders and neck. Shooting a glance over my shoulder, I say, "No, I'm the one in a relationship, Eric. I should've—"

Eric holds up his hands. "No, come on. I can get really focused when I want someone."

When he wants someone…

I laugh slightly, licking my bottom lip, and I glance up at the ceiling.

About then, I hear Calleigh behind me. "'Scuse me, boys," she says.

I pivot my body around until I'm facing her. From the look on her face, I'm guessing she's been standing there "long enough."

"Tim," she says. "I really need you to run something for me. Do you have time?"

"Yeah," I say, trying to pick my dignity up off of the ground. "Actually, Eric was just bringing me to you."

She tosses Eric a look. "That was helpful."

Eric shoves his hands in his pockets and walks a few steps away, turning his back to Calleigh and me.

"So, Delko," I say. "We'll talk?"

Maybe in a crowed church or library or somewhere?

Eric glances over his shoulder. "After work?"

"Okay," I nod.

As Calleigh and I walk away, Calleigh leans close to me and whispers, "Well?"

I roll my eyes. "Well what?"

"Well," she says. "What happened between you two last night?"

As we enter the trace lab, I tug my lab coat off the rack. "Nothing happened, Cal."

She smacks me on the shoulder. "Oh, don't give me that. I saw you two in the hall, and I've been through enough—"

"Okay," I say. "What happened between you and Hagen last night?"

Calleigh glares at me. "Oh, all right," she says, crossing her arms. "Point taken."

Taking the bag of evidence from Calleigh's hand, I walk over to my workstation and pull on a pair of latex gloves.

As I work, Calleigh leans against the counter cradling her chin in her hands. "Tim," she singsongs.

Damn. I know that tone. "Cal," I say.

She smiles sweetly. "You tell me something. I tell you something."

I tighten my lips in an effort to keep from grinning at her audacity. "Cute," I say. "Look—"

"Oh, Tim, we both know I'm going to keep bugging you," she says. "Do I have to pry it from Eric?"

Letting out a breath, I grouse, "All right, Cal. You win."

Positively beaming, she walks around my workstation and watches over my shoulder as I process her evidence. When I don't immediately spill my guts, she says, "Okay."

I smirk. "You first, princess."

Rolling her eyes, Calleigh twirls a lock of hair around her index finger. "All right," she drawls. "All right. John and I are calling it quits."

"Again?" I deadpan.

"No," she protests. "This is it. I've decided that my relationship with John isn't healthy. I mean, we fight all the time, and then we make up, and then we fight." She gestures in the air with her hands. "It's like this cyclical thing." She shrugs. "I don't know. It's just not that easy to walk away."

No kidding.

After a few moments, she crosses her arms. "So, your turn, Mr. Nothing Happened."

Great. Well, I'm not going to tell her about the kiss. A scandalous bit of information like that, and she'd probably blow a fuse. I'd have to administer CPR or something.

Shifting from one foot to the other, I chew on my bottom lip. Finally, I screw up my courage and say, "Last night after you left, Eric kind of told me he's attracted to me."

Calleigh's eyes grow huge. All in one breath, she asks, "What? He actually said that? What did you say?"

I glance around the lab, trying to avoid making direct eye contact with Calleigh. "It's no big thing, Cal. I told him I'm in love with Mark."

Good grief. Two months ago, my private life was private. Now, I'm dishing gossip with Calleigh like two schoolgirls in a junior high lunchroom. What the hell?

Of course, I'm also nursing some asinine schoolboy crush on Eric, so I guess my mental regression from a thirtysomething adult to a teenager is complete.

Calleigh places her hands on my chest. "Well, I hope you were firm," she says. "I don't want you to get hurt. I mean, you know what he's like."

Everybody in the lab knows what Eric's like. He goes through lovers like water. Tyler used to joke that he should make a database of Eric's former girlfriends so we could all keep track. I mean, Eric's a good guy. As a friend, he's terrific. But as a potential love interest? Danger, Will Robinson.

Swallowing, I lean against the counter and say, "Cal, I'm not dumping Mark for Eric. I have some sense of self-preservation."

-

Part of me is kicking myself for asking Eric to meet me after work. I know I have to suck it up and talk to him about last night, but now that I'm sitting here in the diner, across from the guy in question, I realize that I have no idea what to say to him.

Finally, I gulp down some ice tea and lean back in the booth.

"So."

"So."

Well, that was a good icebreaker.

"Look, Tim," Eric says, leaning his body way further over the table than he needs to. "I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable last night."

I nod, letting out a breath. "It's okay."

"But I'm not sorry I kissed you."

Huh? Okay, when I mentally pictured this conversation, that wasn't in the script.

"Well," I say, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "I hope you got it out of your system."

Eric smirks. "I told you. That wasn't what it was about."

As I'm pondering my witty retort, our waitress, Jolie, breezes up to the table. "Have you two decided?"

Eric stares blankly at the poor woman. "Um…Just a burger and fries," he says.

"Yeah," I say. "The same, and bring me some barbeque sauce. And could I get that burger well done?"

Jolie winks at me. "Sure, sugar. Do you two want salad or coleslaw?"

"Coleslaw," I say.

Eric nods. "Yeah, same here."

After Jolie vanishes through the swinging door that leads to the kitchen, Eric grimaces, "Barbeque sauce?"

"Yeah. For my fries," I say, shrugging.

"For your fries?"

"Yes, Delko," I grumble. "For my fries."

Grinning, Eric leans back and gazes at me. After a long few seconds, he says, "You know, if this was just about my curiosity, I could go to a club and pick up a guy."

With my straw, I stir my tea, watching the chips of ice swirl around. "Delko, you freaked out the second you found out about me and Mark," I say, almost inaudibly. "So, now you're hitting on me. Can you see why I have questions?"

"I told you," he says, shifting in his seat. "When I found out you were…with Mark, it was a shock."

I gesture toward him. "Now you're so over it you want to try it yourself?"

Eric takes a sip of his cola. "All right. Look, there was a guy in college, all right?"

"And?"

Scooting forward, Eric whispers, "And we messed around a little bit. Just kissing and stuff." He stops and tugs on his bottom lip. "I love women, all right? But…I was into this guy."

I narrow my eyes. "What happened?"

Eric bites his bottom lip. "I just couldn't handle it. I was confused, you know, and I freaked out on him. Told him I never wanted to see him again." Eric pauses for a moment, and then continues, "You know, you have to understand, Speed…I wasn't exactly raised in a family that accepted…that."

Lowering my voice, I say, "Okay, I'm dense here. You're attracted to both men and women? Or was the college guy a fluke?"

Letting out a breath, Eric says, "I used to tell myself he was a fluke. But the truth is I have been attracted to other men." He glances over his shoulder. "I just wouldn't let myself admit it."

"So…what are you admitting to yourself now?"

Eric leans back in his seat for several seconds, and then lurches forward. "I'm not gay."

"Okay," I say gently.

"Look," he says, kneading the muscles in his shoulder with one hand. "All I know for sure is how I feel about you."

"Here we go, boys!" Jolie says, swooping over to the table, her arms laden with our dinner. "Now honey," she says to me. "If this isn't done enough, you holler."

Smiling, I say, "It's probably perfect."

Winking first at me, and then at Eric, Jolie places our food in front of us and glides off to another table.

"Look, Eric. I'm not going to pretend I'm not attracted to you." I swallow, trying to ward off the burning in my cheeks. Closing my eyes tight, I say, "There are so many reasons why this can't work."

With his thumb and index finger, Eric rubs his eyes. "I know," he says. "Logically, I know that."

"Eric…"

"But I can't help how I feel." Taking a long drink of cola, Eric shakes his head and slumps into the vinyl cushions of the booth.

I take a bite of my hamburger, followed by a spoonful of coleslaw. I'm grateful our food is here, because it gives me a convenient way to stall. Even if Mark and I weren't together, a romantic relationship with Eric could be disastrous. First of all, there's Eric's fast-and-loose take on romance. He may be interested now…but what happens when he gets bored? And there's our job to think about. I have no idea how H would react to two of his CSIs trading valentines.

After I swallow my food, I pick up my glass of tea and gaze up at Eric, who's staring blankly at his plate.

"Eric," I say. "I know you don't like Mark."

"Yeah, well…" Eric mumbles.

"But I love him, Eric," I say, leaning forward. "He's a good man. He is."

Eric doesn't respond. Instead, he picks up a fork and starts to make little tracks in his coleslaw.

I gaze at Eric for several seconds, and then, impulsively, I reach across the table and grab his hand. Kind of a stupid thing to do in a public place, yeah. "Eric," I say, my voice cracking slightly. "You're my best friend. And I'm afraid I'm going to…I'm afraid I'm going to lose you over this. I don't want that."

Eric bites his bottom lip. "You're not going to lose me, Speed. That's not going to happen."

Swallowing, I clear my throat and say, "I do love him, Eric. Okay? And I'm asking you to respect that."

After a few seconds, Eric squeezes my hand. "I will for now."

Pulling his hand free from mine, Eric reaches across the table a snatches a French fry off my plate. He dips it into the little dab of barbeque sauce I squirted near my fries and pops it into his mouth. "Barbeque sauce," he says, frowning.

Narrowing my eyes, I ask, "It's good, right?"

Eric flashes a quick grin. "I'm not sure why I'm attracted to you. You're weird, you know?"