The other side of the bridge
Disclaimer: Yeah yeah, I know, all characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot.
Summary: "All I want, all I need, is you. And I can't have you." A one-shot fic about Ginny's thoughts before her wedding. Sad, probably not what you're thinking about. R&R please!
N/A: I don't know if you'll like this, but it occurred to me and the idea wouldn't leave me until I had it written. Sorry if the English is not very good, but it's not my first language.
The sound of the rain awoke me. Or maybe it didn't. Maybe I was already awake. I don't know, I'm not sure I can tell the difference anymore. All I know is that I should be sleeping, resting for the big event tomorrow. Yet here I am, staring at the ceiling, enjoying the quietness of the house.
It is now, when I'm alone that I wonder "why am I not happy?" I should be, after all. I should be feeling afraid, but excited all the same. I should be trying my dress again; I should be worrying about the shoes, the make-up, and the fact that the bridesmaid, who kindly offered to do my hair, had problems doing hers since she was a child. However, I do not seem to care about those things.
Slowly I get up and walk towards the mirror. I look at my reflection and try to smile. I try to put on a broad, genuine smile, but I can't. All I manage is something that resembles a smile, but is not made out of happiness. It's the sad smile of someone who has resigned to their destiny.
I try to think about the good things, about the reception tomorrow, about my friends, but I can think of only one person. Only one comes back to my mind over and over. You.
Yes, after all this time I'm still thinking of you. Your smile, your hair, your eyes... Every single moment we spent together seems to come back to me stronger than ever. And it's now that I remember you will be there tomorrow too. You will be standing there, congratulating us, wishing us the best, and I know all I'll want to do is to scream that I love you, and that I can't let you go.
I can't stay in my room. I can't stay in my house right now. I need to get out, to breathe. I grab my cloak and slowly make my way down the stairs. I try not to make any noise, for I know my parents and my brothers are sleeping.
Once I'm out I realize it hasn't stopped raining, but it does not bother me. Before leaving I take a glance at my home once again. So many memories of you and me... it was in that house where you spoke to me for the first time.
I walk down the street. I'm not surprised to find it empty. Not many people like to go for a walk on the rain at 4 a.m. Now, as I'm walking, I begin to think again. I'm doing the right thing, I know it. Tomorrow, I'm going to get married with someone who loves me, someone I care about. This is my chance to be happy. But, deep down, I know I could only be truly happy if I were with you. But I can't. All I want, all I need, is you. And I can't have you.
Lost in my train of thought, I realize my feet have taken me to the bridge over the small river. I used to come to this bridge when I was little, when my brothers, especially the twins, wanted to use me as a tester for their weird spells. Then, after my first year at Hogwarts, I would come every single afternoon, to forget. It was on this very bridge that I found you one night, crying. Of course, being the brave man you are, you tried to hide your tears. I gave you a present that night. A rose, that I had charmed so it would never died. I expect you don't have it anymore. It was just a silly rose. But the feelings behind it weren't.
I'm now watching the river flow. It is now that I notice I'm not alone on this bridge. Someone is there too. Even though all I can see is its silhouette, I recognize it. How could I not? I had learned that profile by heart. It is you. You are standing there, on the other side of the bridge. I notice you are holding something, and you have a huge bag beside you. You are soaked. I don't believe you noticed me at first, but now you have turned around, and you're staring at me. Your eyes are shining, like two emeralds. It is kind of ironic, meeting you here of all places, just when I was thinking about you. Your eyes are fixed in mine, but I will not look away. I want you to read me, to hear the question inside my head. "What are you doing here?" I ask you silently. You do not answer me, nor inside my head nor out loud. You just smile. But it is not your smile, the beautiful one that makes me weak in the knees. It's a sad one… the same I had earlier, while I looked at the mirror. It's the smile that a man wears when he has to give in to his heartbreaking destiny. You pick up you bag and start to come closer. And I understand. I don't want to believe this, I can't believe this. You love me too. And you're leaving. You're only two inches away from me now. You take my hand in yours and give me something. The rose. I need to speak. I have to say something. I do not notice the tears running down my face. You do, however, and with one finger you clean them. I close my eyes, feeling your soft touch on my cheek. I whisper in your ear
- Harry, don't leave.
- I have to.
- Why?
- You need to get married, Ginny. You will be happy with him.
- I could be happy with you
Now I see you closing your eyes, before you answer.
- No, you wouldn't be. I don't want to put you in danger. Not anymore.
We look at each other for what seem ages. I know you well enough to know you won't stay. I guess the time has come when I have to do what's right. You close your eyes again for a second, and then you give me a small kiss. The rain stops, and you grab your things again. Without one more word, you walk away. Away from your friends. Away from your family. Away from me. I'm now here, watching as you leave. I'm now the one standing at the other side of the bridge.