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Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: Say You Love Me Too

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Previously: Jed lost his temper out of frustration; Abbey asked Jed to teach her about their life as parents

Summary: Abbey puts her own fears aside to help when Jed has trouble with Lizzie

- - -

"Lizzie, are you ready?"

Jed's voice carried through the house, breaking the barrier of Liz's bedroom door. She turned her head with acknowledgment, but then threw her blanket to the ground and rested her head against her pillow, her eyes gazing up at the ceiling as she waited for her father to come after her.

She didn't have to wait long.

"You didn't knock," she said as he stormed in.

"You're not ready," he replied, getting a peek at the pink sweatshirt and gray pants she was wearing.

She crossed her arms on top of her chest and shot him a squinted glare. "No."

"Why not?"

"I'm not going."

It was a firm answer, but one that was unacceptable to Jed. Upon her return from Boston, she seemed content and strangely well-adjusted, but that was a facade that soon vanished, replaced by moodiness and withdrawal. Her sarcastic retorts ignored, his best efforts to reach her were met with avoidance.

Much like Jed's, Liz's world had been shattered and she had slipped into a sadness so deep that she was only a notch away from depression. He soothed his concern by convincing himself she needed time with her friends, her peers with whom she shared everything. But slumber parties weren't the cure. Girl scout outings weren't the answer. She needed more.

Desperate to help her, Jed acted upon the advice of Father Cavanaugh. He shopped around for child psychologists, settling on one recommended by her pediatrician. But even though he resigned himself to the fact that his preteen daughter was in need of professional counseling, getting her to accept it was a battle he was ill-prepared to fight.

It had been two days of constant bickering between the two, the parent/child boundaries nearly becoming a blur. It took every bit of patience still left inside him to force the issue and not cower to Liz's tantrums.

"Lizzie, we're not having this conversation again. Now get out of those sweats and let's go." He stood still waiting for her to move. She never did. "Now."

Her head whirled to the side to face him. "I don't wanna go."

"I don't care," he sputtered, his temper now simmering just beneath the boiling point for the tenth time that day.

"You never even asked me!"

"Some things are not up for discussion."

"They always have been before."

She had a point. Liz was very much an active part of the family and she cherished the fact that she had a vote in a lot of the decision-making between her parents. But things were different now. The unusual circumstances caused a shift in roles and even Jed felt he didn't have complete control.

"That was then," he answered. "When I say you have to do something, you have to do it. Now get dressed and meet me in the car."

He grabbed the knob and slammed the door behind him, letting out a sigh that penetrated the thin walls. Her sympathy piqued out of the realization that her father was hurting. She stood up to do as she was told, but when her familiar defiance reappeared, she plopped down on her bed and waited to greet his anger minutes later.

"I said I'm not going," she declared as he stood in the doorway.

"Elizabeth..."

"I don't wanna go!"

"Get in the car now." It tugged at his heart to confront either one of his daughters, but this standoff was even harder. Locked with determination and unwilling to relinquish his stand, Jed continued. "If you don't get yourself to the car in the next few seconds, you're going to be grounded for two weeks. I mean it. I'm finished playing around."

"I'm not even dressed!" she shouted from her seat on the bed.

"Then you'll just have to go in your sweats. We're already late."

Her echoing stomps only grew louder the closer she got to the car. Upset that she had been forced to surrender to his demand, she sat silently in her seat and stared out the window the entire way, refusing to look at him even when they arrived at the counselor's office.

Jed walked to the passenger's side and opened her door. She didn't react. "Elizabeth, don't make me pick you up and carry you inside."

"You're so mean," she blurted out as she stood up.

"Yes, I am. Don't forget to include that in your session."

Ordinarily, he would have said that as a joke. But today, he wasn't joking. Sadly, today, he was serious. It may have been for her own good, but he hated the stern methods he used to get her here. From the day she was born, he had vowed to ease problems by talking to his daughter, not by threatening her with punishment. Rarely did he stray from that commitment.

He sat in the waiting room, his eyes glued to the clock as the seconds turned into minutes. He squashed his rising curiosity every time he heard the slightest sound coming from the office. He wondered if she was okay, if she was crying, if she was opening up, or if she was sitting back in her chair, sheltering her emotions the way she had with him.

Finally, she reappeared. A little more contrite, her head hung slightly low and her hands were stuffed into the pockets of her gray pants. She didn't say a word as he led her out of the building and back to the car.

After he slid into the driver's seat, he looked at her once more. The anger that was visible earlier had disappeared completely. But now, she looked sadder than she ever had before. He leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead. She didn't even flinch when he kissed her. She didn't respond at all, but at least that meant she didn't pull away either.

Out of concern for Abbey, he had avoided the inevitable for more than a week. He hadn't mentioned the problems he was having with Lizzie to anyone. Not even Millie, the person who frequently checked on him, was aware of the daily skirmishes that only seemed to intensify and overwhelm him with pain and concern.

But that was about to change. As they arrived home, Jed immediately headed for the ringing phone. In the past, his mother-in-law had always been a confidante for both him and Abbey. But with the awkwardness looming in the background, he was unsure of the depth of her loyalty.

The one thing he did know is that Mary Barrington adored her granddaughter and nothing could ever change that. If there was one person, besides his wife, who could steer him in the right direction when it came to parenting, it was her.

His voice was weak and despondent, alerting her that something was very wrong. Without a moment's hesitation, she asked how she could help. The raw angst he had suppressed from everyone else suddenly seeped out of him with an onslaught of tears he tried modestly to disguise.

It was a difficult realization for Mary. Her daughter had been affected by a trauma so horrendous that she was psychologically protecting herself from the people who needed her most. Caught in the middle of her mind's desire to block out that which it can't accept, was a young girl who desperately required the love and reassurance only Abbey could give her.

"Mom?" Abbey caught her mother in a daze as she was hanging up the phone.

"Where did you go?"

"Just in the front yard. I needed some air. What's wrong?"

"Jed called. Elizabeth's having trouble."

"What kind of trouble? What happened?"

"Trouble adjusting. Jed took her to a child psychologist."

"A child psychologist? Why didn't he tell me? He said she was doing fine."

"Abbey, how could you think she's doing fine? No one else is." It was a pretty ignorant assumption for any of them to make. This wasn't just about Jed and Abbey. This was about the entire family. "I think she misses you."

"I don't understand. She's the one who wanted to go back to New Hampshire."

"Abigail, I know it isn't your fault, but she was in a position where she had to choose between her mother and her father."

"And she made her choice." Abbey surprised herself with the bitterness in her tone.

Mary stepped back from her daughter as silence filled the room for several seconds. "This is hard enough for the adults to understand," she said tightly. "Let's try to have some patience with an 11-year-old child."

"You're right." Abbey turned away, ashamed that she was actually feeling the way she was feeling. "You're right, Mom. I don't know why that bothers me so much. It's just the way she reacts to me, it makes me wonder...it makes me think that I must have been a bad mother."

"You weren't. You've always been a great mother. You loved your girls more than anything in the world. That's why this is so difficult for Elizabeth. If you were a bad mother, she'd be thrilled to be rid of you. She misses you. She wants you in her life. She wants you to remember your life and your relationship with her."

Abbey may not have been able to give Liz everything she wanted, but at least she could make this easier. "Lizzie made an effort. She came here and spent several days with me. Now it's my turn to go see her. Will you come with me tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"I'll call Jed."

It was the first time Abbey was going to New Hampshire since the attack. Fearful of the consequences of such a trip, she buried her apprehension in hopes of healing her family. She had been faced with only sporadic flashes of her former life. Images she couldn't explain, visions she couldn't put in context, had stalled her progress towards recovery.

And at the forefront of her frightened psyche was the knowledge that sooner or later, she'd have to confront her relationship with Jed. She had encouraged him to fill her in on their lives as parents, but never their lives as husband and wife. She wasn't ready to deal with that yet. She wasn't completely comfortable with him and she wasn't sure how long it would take until she would be.

- - -

From the moment they arrived at the house the next day, those same feelings of familiarity that had gripped Abbey in the days before, took hold of her heart once again. The exterior of the white and beige Cape Cod-style home appealed to all of her senses. She walked slowly towards the garage, taking in the smell of the barbecue in the neighborhood and then running her hand over a large dent that had scarred the panel from Jed's accident two years earlier.

She didn't know what happened, but the light indentation didn't scare her. Exactly the opposite, in fact.

She approached the front door, her anxiety now hovering at a much lower level. Jed opened the door and raised Ellie up into the air, holding her tightly as he brought her down. Abbey stood frozen in her spot. Doctors told her this might happen. They warned her that as her memory begins to replant itself, it would be like living in a state of constant Déjà Vu.

And it was.

As Jed lowered Ellie to the ground, her tiny feet ran towards her sister's bedroom. Mary followed a few steps behind, leaving Abbey alone with Jed.

"I'm glad you're here."

Strangely, so was she. "Me too. Why didn't you tell me about this? On Saturday, you said she was fine."

"Because on Saturday, it really was nothing. She actually was fine. She was a little moody, but given what happened, that was to be expected. I thought it would go away on its own."

The conversation was interrupted by Lizzie's intrusion.

"Hi," she greeted her mother with a detectable level of uncertainty.

Abbey moved towards her and opened her arms for a hug. "Hi."

"Are you staying?" she asked as she returned the embrace.

"Do you want me to?"

"If you want," she replied, but when her eyes met Abbey's, her nonchalant attitude quickly dissipated. "Yeah."

She let out a sigh of relief. It concerned her to think the answer to that question may have been completely different. "Will you show me your room?"

"Only if you promise not to tell me to clean it up."

"I promise I won't," Abbey replied with a laugh. "At least not tonight."

"Okay."

"Give me a second with your father and I'll be right in."

Abbey wasn't the only one who was relieved. Jed tried to cover up his happiness, but to no avail. "You're going to stay?"

He had to be sure he hadn't misunderstood.

"If the offer's still good."

"Always."

Just to be certain, she had one stipulation. "You said my mom could help out for a few days?"

"This is your house, Abbey. She can stay as long as you want."

It didn't exactly feel like her house, but she did feel welcomed. For the first time since the night that changed all their lives, this felt right.

TBC