Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: Say You Love Me Too

Chapter 12

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Previously: Frustrated with her physical therapy, Abbey left her session early; Jed was more determined than ever to make Abbey remember her attacker; Abbey and Jed read a journal article with different goals in mind - he wanted to help her remember her past, she wanted to forget it forever

Summary: When Jed confronts Abbey about missing her therapy sessions, she finally comes clean; an argument drives Abbey to the hospital

- - -

With a couple of agitated sighs and a few glances down at his watch, Jed paced the waiting room. His patience had run out ten minutes earlier and now, his concern was beginning to show. Why hadn't Abbey come out yet? Why didn't her appointment end on time?

She didn't know he would be there. He planned to surprise her with a lunch date. But when Dr. Susan Hunter's door finally swung open a half hour after it was supposed to, it was Jed who stood shell-shocked.

The patient inside wasn't Abbey.

"Jed?" Susan called out to him as she waved her hand in front of his frozen eyes.

"Where's Abbey?" he asked.

"She's not here."

"What do you mean she's not here? Where is she?"

Susan walked around him to check her appointment sheet. Jed hovered nearby, still waiting for an explanation. "She canceled."

"When?"

"When she canceled the last one," she said without a moment of hesitation.

"When was that?"

"Last week."

Amazed that he had been kept in the dark, he pressed her for more. "She's missed two appointments? Why?"

"You'll have to talk to her about that."

"I'm talking to you. Is there something I should know?" Her blank stare didn't discourage him. "Please. I just want to help her."

"I don't think Abbey is ready for this yet. She isn't ready to remember."

"Not ready? Not ready to remember her past? How can she not be ready?"

"As I said, that's something you need to discuss with her."

Discussions with Abbey weren't easy for Jed these days. Shackled by fear of causing her more stress, he held back his true emotions of guilt and anger. His feelings of failure were his to deal with, not Abbey's to console.

But surprisingly, he wasn't the only one hiding things. Two therapy appointments had been canceled. She never said a word. In fact, she intentionally led him to believe she was getting better, that she was facing her demons, not surrendering to them.

- - -

Jed went home that afternoon to wait for her. But he didn't need to wait. Abbey was already there. Dressed in a burgundy velour jogging suit with a white t-shirt underneath, it was obvious she wasn't leaving the house, nor was she just returning.

She stopped suddenly as she walked out of the den. "Hi."

"I thought you had an appointment with Dr. Hunter today."

Startled by the unexpected visit, she nodded slowly before she answered. "I did."

"And then you had a physical therapy session with Hal."

"That's right." She turned from him with her eyes closed in anticipation of what was coming.

"And yet you're here."

"I wasn't feeling well," she stated bluntly as she walked past him and rounded the corner into the kitchen.

He followed behind, unwilling to accept her answer. "Oh, come on, Abbey. You weren't feeling well yesterday either."

"Well I guess I have the flu or something." A change of subject seemed like the most advantageous approach. "Do you want some tea?"

"Or something," he muttered.

His voice was nearly drowned out by the sound of the water. She held the kettle under the faucet and twisted her head to look at him. "What does that mean?"

"Last week, you told me you went to see Susan. You told me about it that night. You told me about the entire session." Like a dog with a bone, he refused to let go. He stood right behind her as she set the kettle on the stove and purposely turned the other way. "Except, you didn't go to see Susan then either. Because according to Susan, you canceled that one too."

"Are you checking up on me?" she asked with an undeniable edge to her voice.

"I want to know why you're canceling appointments."

"I just didn't feel like going."

"Why?"

"Jed, please."

Out of fear that the conversation would soon spiral out of control, he dropped his hands into his pocket and leaned against the counter across from her.

"Abbey, you can tell me anything. You know that, don't you?" He took a step closer to her when it was obvious she was ignoring the question. "Honey, I just want to help. Please. Let me help you." Her eyes avoided his, but he could feel her quivering. "What are you so scared of?"

"I'm not."

"You're trembling. I'm looking at you and you're trembling. I've never seen you so afraid." His hand cupped her cheek softly, but she pulled away with a jolt.

She never had a reason to be this afraid before. She certainly wasn't ready to admit that she had one now.

"I'm just not feeling well," she whispered as she turned off the stove, visibly irritated.

"I thought you wanted tea." He followed her out of the kitchen and back towards the living room.

"I changed my mind."

"Tell me what's going on." Still refusing to look at him, Abbey seemed to be walking around aimlessly. "You trust me, don't you?" He tenderly grabbed her shoulder then turned her towards him. "Don't you?"

She shrugged out of his grasp and coldly replied, "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't do that."

Her reaction stung. "If I wouldn't touch you?"

"If you wouldn't quiz me," she answered to his relief.

"This is something I have to know. I have to know that you trust me because for the life of me, Abbey, I can't understand why you don't want to put this all behind us."

She scoffed at the insensitive phrasing. "Put this behind us? You think it's that easy?"

"I never said it was easy. But in order to remember that night, you need Susan's help."

"I don't want her help, Jed." Her voice was strong, much more so than the vulnerability visible in the way she positioned herself in the corner with her arms folded in front of her.

"See, that's what I don't understand. Why wouldn't you want her to help you? She knows you. She knew you before..." Abbey lowered her head, as if tuning him out entirely. "Okay, fine. Then we'll just get you another doctor."

"No more doctors," she blurted out. "I am sick to death of everyone telling me what I need to do. I just want to be left alone."

"I want that for you too, Abbey. I swear I do. But this IS something we have to do."

"No, it isn't. It's something you need me to do. YOU need it, Jed. Not me."

"You just want to live in a cloud of ignorance?"

"Yes, yes, I do. Is that a problem?"

Annoyed, he allowed silence to linger for a few minutes before responding. "Yeah, it is. It's definitely a problem."

"There's nothing I can do about it. The memories just aren't coming. That happens sometimes."

"Not with you. You're starting to remember everything else. You remembered us..."

"No," she said softly as she shook her head.

"...our courtship, our wedding, our years in London..."

"NO!" It was louder this time. "No, Jed, I didn't. I don't remember anything about our wedding. I don't remember London. I barely remember dating you."

The cold, hard truth had barely escaped her lips and already, she regretted it. He closed his mouth tightly as he inhaled deeply several times to level his breathing. This was more than a sting. Her words were cruel and sharp, something he didn't expect. He turned around in place, rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand before he was ready to face her again.

"Why are you saying this?"

"It's the truth."

"I know you're upset, but you don't need to try to hurt me."

"I never wanted to hurt you." Her eyes welled with tears at the face of the man before her. His frown now deeply embedded in his expression, he was silently pleading with her to take it back. But she couldn't. She had to come clean before she caused him any more pain. "But I'm afraid I already have."

"That night we went out together, you said you remembered. You were recalling the stories with me."

"No. You were the one talking most of the night. I just nodded and pretended that they were my memories too."

"Why?" His lips twitched as his temper rose rapidly. "WHY?"

"You were so happy. I didn't want to ruin our evening."

With a bitter laugh, he looked away from her. "You have the best intentions and the worst judgment of anyone I've ever known."

"I wanted to avoid this conversation."

"Of course you did!" he snapped. "You never wanted me to find out you lied to me. For a solid week, you've been lying to me."

"I wasn't ready to remember everything."

"You weren't ready to remember me?"

"It's not just about you!" Her voice rising, her fury was now matching his. "Why can't you understand that?"

"I don't know, Abbey! Why don't you help me out! Tell me what you have planned next. Make me see your way of thinking. Are you just going to curl up into a ball and forget all about me and the girls?" He stiffened his posture, preparing himself for her reply. "If that's what you want, tell me now."

She turned towards him and shook her head softly. "That isn't what I want."

There was still hope. The flame hadn't been extinguished. Not entirely. "Then I'll make an appointment with Dr. Hunter for tomorrow. I'll take you there myself."

"NO!" She made a dash for the phone just as he picked it up. "I'm not ready."

"Abbey..." He held on to the receiver and prevented her from snatching it out of his hands. "I'll be right there with you."

"I said no, Jed!"

"Why?"

"I said no," she repeated.

She won. He let her win when he placed the phone back in its cradle. But he wanted more. "And I asked why."

"Stop pushing me!" she shouted, unleashing all her anger.

He expected the outburst. It didn't deter him in the slightest. "So just now when you said that you don't want to forget your family, you were lying then too?" The tilting of her head was his only reply. "Damn it, Abbey, what the hell do you want?"

"I want you to get off my back! I mean it. If you don't stop pressuring me, I'll pack my bags and walk right out that door and back to Boston."

"Don't do that. Don't threaten me."

"Then back off!"

His eyes pierced into hers with a steely stare. "No."

"No?" she asked, her indignation subtly fading.

"No," he repeated, a bit firmer this time.

"Fine."

Confused when she turned to him, then away from him, he ran to her side, following barely a step behind as she circled the room. "Now I can really tell you don't remember us. If you did, you'd know we don't do this. We don't dish out ultimatums, we don't lie to one another, we don't treat each other like this."

"Stop it. Leave me alone," she calmly requested.

Alarmed by what he saw when she lifted her head, he immediately grabbed her. "Abbey?"

Her face was pale, nearly colorless. Her eyes showed clear signs of distress.

The back of her hand pressed against her forehead, she skirted around him. "I need to lie down."

"What is it?" He guided her to the sofa with his arm glued to her waist.

"I'm a little lighthead..." she trailed off as she dropped her weight onto him.

"Whoa! Abbey?" He brushed the hair off her face just as he sat her down on the middle cushion. "Abbey?"

"I really don't feel very well, Jed," she mumbled, her eyes fluttering.

"It's okay, Honey. We're going to the hospital," he assured her as he leaned forward to scoop her up into his arms.

- - -

Unsure of what to expect and terrified of the possibilities, Jed paced the waiting room once more. He had become good at this. The distinct smell, the sounds of phones ringing in the distance, of elevator doors opening and closing, the sight of men and women in white coats or green or blue scrubs was all too familiar to him now. And each and every time he was abandoned in a similar scene, he was on the outside looking in. Waiting. That was the hardest part.

So when he was told he could finally see his wife, he jumped at the opportunity. He rushed into Abbey's room without a second thought, until he came face-to-face with her doctor.

"They said I could see her," he explained.

"She was just about to tell me what's wrong," Abbey replied before addressing the doctor. "It's okay if he's here?"

"Of course."

"So it was just stress, right?" Jed asked. "That's what made her sick?" He turned to his wife, remorsefully. "I'm so sorry about today."

"You're getting ahead of yourself," the doctor interrupted. "Stress is only part of it."

"What else?"

The doctor folded the clipboard under her arm. "Abbey, did you know you were pregnant?"

TBC