Nightmare Before Christmas AGAIN!
This poem took three days
To write up for you,
So please be a sport:
Please read, then review!
Jack flew into the night
With his dog in the lead,
With his friend Pyramus
As his powerful steed.
(Pyramus turned his head
And he said with a smirk,
"'Til the fanfic is done,
We are all out of work.")
From rooftop to doorstep,
The presents were dropped,
But at one little house
The Pumpkin King stopped.
On a familiar table
In a house seen before
Lay a cup of bad milk
And moldy bread galore.
Underneath the small plate
Smelling of rotten dairy
Was a hand-written note
On Spongebob stationary.
"Dear Mr. Bone-man,
I hav left you a note,
So pleese take time to reed
This small rime that I rote.
Last Crismas you gave me
A reel shrunk-ed head;
Now I no that your busy
And I no that your dead,
But I left you sum bred
And sum milk that's gon bad,
And I hope that my pome-note
Will make you reel glad.
Sined Ronny McBurton
And my puppy-dog Grimley."
Jack left him a present
And slipped up the chimney.
From country to country
Jack flew in the sleigh,
Not a single sad hitch
To get in his way.
From the US of A
To the coast of Japan,
Every present was given.
Just as Jack began
To fly over the ocean
And back into town
A ball flew past his head!
He ducked his head down
Stopped the sleigh in its tracks
And then shouted because
Next to him in the sky
Was the REAL SANTA CLAUS!
"You have done it again,
You bony-faced jerk,
So I quit my vacation
And came back to work!
I just knew that your kind
Would ruin Christmas again!"
Shouted the irate man
Waving a candy cane.
"Now hold on just a minute!"
Cried Skeleton Jack,
"I just did you a favor,
You obese, lazy quack!
You gave up on Christmas
Out of pure, selfish greed,
So I took your place up here.
I suggest what you need
To do is go back home
And sit in your chair!
I don't want to see your
Sorry face anywhere!
Now you turn back around!
If you make a commotion-"
But then something went SNAP!
And they fell in the ocean.
"I can't swim!" yelled poor Sandy
His voice filled with dread.
"We'll be eaten by sharks!
We survived, but we're dead!"
"I'm already dead, twit!"
Jack Skellington did reply.
"Now follow me, quickly,
I saw land from the sky."
Jack swam to a sandbar
That was close to the shore
(It was under the water
By a inch, two, or four).
Sandy followed him and
Fell back onto the sand,
And he gave Jack a jab
With the heel of his hand.
"This is your fault, you jerk,"
With his voice full of hate.
Sandy soon fell asleep
While Jack pondered his fate.
While the waves brushed his ankles
He held back his tears;
Tonight's sleigh-ride fiasco
Confirmed all his fears.
He had planned it all out,
He learned every mistake
He had made the last year!
He rehearsed, for pete's sake!
Now his back was all sore
And he didn't feel well
And was stuck here with Santa
Who was whiny as hell.
Sally was right again,
(He had learned this by now)
She had known what to do.
What could he do now?
A light shined in the distance
And a whistle blew low.
A voice cried from the tugboat,
"You see? I told you so!"
Sally pulled Jack aboard
And then grabbed Sandy's coat,
But the man was so fat
That he fell off the boat.
Mrs. Clause took her husband
Away by the ear.
"I knew if I found Jack
That I would find you here!"
Jack spun Sally around
And he giggled with glee.
"I think this is the first time
That you've rescued me!"
"I knew something'd go wrong,"
She began to explain.
"Your intentions were pure,
So I couldn't complain.
I saw that you crashed
In the old witch's pot,
So I figured I'd save you
And scold you a lot
So you'd never try anything
Like this again!"
Jack just chuckled and hugged her.
"You're so right, my friend."
So the Christmas went great,
Much to Santa's dismay,
Everyone in the world
Had a great Christmas Day
Filled with werewolves and vampires
And fun, fang-toothed faces
And teddy bear ghosts
Popping up in strange places.
Some people thought that
It was rude, weird, and strange
(But the gothic kids loved it,
As did the deranged).
Even Mr. Tim Burton
Got a pleasant surprise;
Zombie spider-bat eggs
Just as big as his eyes.
And Jack had learned his lesson
And he even clapped
When Sally told him
That the sleigh's reigns had snapped.
"It was fun," said the monster,
"I might do it next year-
I WAS KIDDING!" yelled Jack,
Who was shrinking in fear
As Sally held up
A most threatening hand
Then laughed with the tunes
Of the Halloween Band.
As was Christmas, December
Two-Thousand and Five
Where the presents were spooky
And barely alive.
So my poem is finished,
A stretch, but it's done.
It was a chore to write it.
I hope you had fun!