Series: Snapshots of the Past
Story: Say You Love Me Too
Chapter 17
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Previously: Little, everyday things reminded Abbey of the night of the attack; Abbey finally remembered why the Italian love song was so important to her; Jed held Abbey while she fell asleep
Summary: Jed helps Abbey with her physical therapy; hurt by what she sees, Lizzie lashes out at everyone; dinner is ruined by a family fight
- - -
Jed tightened his hold around the soft nerf ball he bounced in his grip and practically sprinted towards the bedroom. He opened the door quietly, the tips of his toes grazing the carpet so he wouldn't wake her.
Abbey was snuggled under the sheets. Her hands peaked through the top to hold a blanket up to her neck. As he sat down beside her and brushed away a strand of stray hair that hung to the center of her forehead, her right eye emerged, slightly squinted to block out the light.
"Good morning," he said softly.
"It's too early to be morning," she muttered in response as she opened both eyes.
"It's 7 a.m. Time to face the day." She ignored him. "Come on, sleepyhead! What's with you? Surgeons have earlier days than this and the Abbey I know never slept in. She loved early morning hours."
"You're already showered and dressed?"
"Uh huh."
"Why are you so perky?" She yanked on the covers and pulled them over her head, provoking a chuckle from Jed.
"Remember that song you used to sing to get Lizzie up?" She turned her back to him. "I guess not."
"I'm too tired to reminisce."
He stood and walked to the other side of the bed where he could reach down and touch her. His fingers grasped the hem of the blanket and slowly folded it down the length of her indigo-colored pajamas.
"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty, I've come to do my duty, I've come to get you out of bed, wake up, you sleepy head!"
A subtle crease in her brows confirmed she didn't remember. She propped herself up on the backs of her elbows. "That's the song I used to torture our child with?"
"Mmmm Hmmm."
"No wonder I don't remember," she replied as she plopped back down flat on her back.
"Okay, seriously, Abbey, come on." He laughed as he shook her gently. "Look what I have in my hand."
"What?" She finally noticed of the ball he held. "You think that's going to make me want to 'face the day'?"
"I think it'll go a long way in showing you how serious I am. You asked for my help, right?"
"Yeah."
"So I went to see Hal Johnson yesterday. He says you're having an awful lot of trouble with this sweet little thing."
"It's not a sweet little thing when it's forced into my hands."
He extended his hand to her and without much hesitation, she accepted. "We're going to work on that."
She sluggishly rose to her feet, tucking her hair behind her ears and holding out her fingers just as he directed. He covered her hands with his own, lightly massaging them right around her wounds. This is what Hal had taught him. This is what he needed to do to loosen her muscles before she could strengthen her tendons. This part was easy. The pain would come with the next step. That part he dreaded.
"Feel okay?" he asked.
"Feels great. You have magical hands."
"You've told me that before."
"I know," she said with a coy grin that nearly made him blush.
"You ready?" He was a bit apprehensive, but he hid it for her sake.
She presented her right palm with a sharp intake of breath. "I guess so."
With his own fingers lightly pressing against hers, he turned over the ball and tried to help her form a fist. She resisted, moaning from the pain in closing her hands. He paused briefly when her entire arm tensed up.
"I know it hurts."
"It really does."
"You can do this. You can do anything. I've seen you do amazing things, Abigail."
"This isn't really the same."
He cupped her chin to raise her head just after she lowered it. "The hell it's not. When you put your mind to something, you do it. You don't sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else. You never have."
His passion stirred a lighthearted smile. "Are you about to tell me another story?"
"I may just have to bring back the Ableteers."
"Ooohh, the Ableteers," she teased. "Now those are some scary people."
He whirled her around in front of him and lifted her arm to secure the ball into her hand. From behind, he pressed into her fingers as he had before, this time with very little resistance. Abbey's wrist vibrated from the effort, but she didn't stop. She slowly wrapped each finger around the ball and delicately squeezed the yellow foam.
"See? What did I tell you?" he gloated as she turned to face him. "You know, from now on, I think you should just assume I'm always right."
"And mighty egotistical as well."
"My ego is well-deserved."
"Yeah? Why's that?" As if a PhD. and a coveted spot in the State House weren't enough, she silently noted.
"Because the most beautiful woman in the world fell in love with me...twice." He leaned forward to steal a kiss, but she leaned backward, away from his lips.
"Not until you help me do five more," she declared with the ball still safely in her palm. "And then there's the other hand."
"Well this is a switch. What just happened?"
Her cheerfulness was replaced with a more serious, almost somber expression. "You really were right. I don't want to sit on the sidelines." She raised her chin in that special little way she had to show her pride and determination. "I'd like to be able to braid my daughter's hair."
"Okay." Barely containing his happiness, he positioned himself behind her once again as she brazenly gripped her fingers around the ball.
They counted out loud with every excruciating squeeze. Abbey's body shook from exhaustion. She had to rely on Jed's strong frame to hold her up as she completed the set with both hands. Warm tears burned her eyes, but never made tracks down her cheeks. He turned her around to look her in the face, his own face beaming at her steely determination.
"I need to be able to do fifteen."
"We'll get there." He wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. "In the meantime..." As he leaned in for his promised kiss, she ducked his grasp once again. "Hey!"
"You were mean to me."
"When was I mean?"
"You woke me up when I wanted to sleep," she reminded him as she threw the foamy ball at his chest.
"So for that, you renege on our deal?"
"No. I just wanted to make you wait." She approached him, but he backed away.
"The mood is gone," he said with a manipulative pout. "I don't want a kiss anymore."
Two could play at that game. "Are you going to stomp your little feet too?"
He grabbed her wrist and pulled as she floated into his embrace with a soft, playful scream. "Shh, we're going to wake the girls."
Too late.
To their surprise, Ellie was already standing in the doorway. "Hi."
"Told you."
"Hey, Sweetheart!" Ellie ran into her mother's waiting arms as she did every morning. Abbey wasn't strong enough to pick her up, but the four-year-old was perfectly content with a monstrous hug instead. "You're up early."
"I just woke up!"
"Where's your sister?" Jed asked. "Is she still asleep?"
"Uh huh!" Ellie emphatically nodded.
A mischievous smirk dominated his features as he lifted the little girl into his arms and kissed her cheek. "You wanna go wake her up?"
"Yeah!"
"No, Jed! Let her sleep."
Ignoring Abbey's request, Jed turned to Ellie. "Mommy's no fun, is she?" Ellie stared at him silently, expressing herself with a small grin. "That's because she doesn't like to be woken up either."
"Tell your daddy isn't not nice to wake people up."
Caught in the middle and torn from her mother's position by the fact that she actually did enjoy disturbing her sister from a peaceful sleep, Ellie remained quiet.
Jed reached for the nerf ball and threw it at Abbey.
"Practice," he ordered before he carried Ellie out and down the hall to Liz's room.
- - -
The Bartlets tried to raise their girls with one sentiment that outweighed any other - your family is your lifeline. Being a Bartlet daughter offered limitless possibilities. With two intelligent, career-driven parents, it was no secret that lofty aspirations were not only encouraged, they were expected. Education was the cornerstone to success. Raw talent was to be nurtured and developed.
And on the other side of the congested rainbow of prosperity was the Bartlet pot of gold - love. The insurmountable love that Jed and Abbey had for their children was never in question by anyone who knew any of the Bartlets. Similarly, the love between the daughters was just as strong. The sisters were the only ones who would know each other from cradle to grave, Abbey used to tell them. Getting along wasn't a chore. With Lizzie and Ellie, it was more difficult to be upset with one another than to adore each other.
That is, unless the precarious balance of the family unit were to shift unexpectedly, leaving one sister out in the cold.
Elizabeth had no idea that her mother was starting to remember things. She hadn't been told that Abbey's memories of her elder daughter were coming through the aftermath of the trauma practically unscathed. Jed and Abbey shielded her from that information until they were certain there would be no relapse, that it wasn't just a blip on the road to recovery. But if they hadn't tried so hard to protect her from disappointment, perhaps they could have saved her from the heartbreak that followed that day.
That evening, as Millie and Abbey wiped down the counter, seven-year-old Chloe chased a rambunctious Ellie through the house, coming dangerously close to the kitchen several times.
"Girls, you need to stay out of here," Millie warned.
"Lizzie, I thought you were going to keep an eye on the girls," Abbey called out to her daughter's bedroom.
"I am!" Liz answered. "Ellie! Chloe! Come here a second!"
Watching the little ones skip off to Liz's room, the two mothers exchanged a warm smile.
"They're so good together," Abbey remarked.
"They sure are. Chloe wants a little sister. I think Ellie's as close as she's going to get for a while."
"You know, there is this guy..."
"Uh uh, Abbey! No way. You should be concentrating on you right now," she replied, as she turned the faucet to fill a pot with water. "Are things really getting better?"
"I swear." She was reluctant to spill the news about the pregnancy. "Jed and I are so in-tune with one another, you know?"
"I told you he was your Prince Charming. You thought we were all exaggerating."
"Part of me did," Abbey admitted. "But I'm glad I was wrong."
"And what about the girls? How are they adjusting?"
"Well, going by Ellie, you'd never even know anything was out of the ordinary. I think she understands that something isn't right, but she doesn't dwell on it. As long as she has her parents, she's fine."
"And Liz?"
"She's still seeing that counselor, but I worry about her." Abbey turned off the faucet and carried the pot to the stove.
"Children are resilient."
"Yeah." She turned the dial and crossed in front of Millie. "I just want to give her a carefree childhood. She shouldn't have to deal with all this nonsense."
Both women leaned against the counter, their backs to the kitchen entrance, as Ellie and Chloe came barreling through unnoticed.
Ellie's brand new mary janes glided across the tiled floor. She slipped against the stove, rattling the burners on top and causing the warm water to splash over the rim and hit her arm. It was her gut-wrenching scream that sparked the adrenaline that coursed through Abbey's veins. Unfortunately, adrenaline wasn't the only thing it sparked. A quick flash of her worst nightmare - Ellie in danger from a violent attacker - came with it.
Her hands weren't a liability now. With the vigor of a mama bear protecting her cub, she hoisted Ellie into the air and ran towards the sink. Millie turned the water on full blast to the coldest possible temperature as Abbey soaked the young girl's arm for several minutes.
"Is it burned?" Millie asked.
After attempting to calm a sobbing Ellie, Abbey sat her on the countertop to examine the reddened skin. "No, it wasn't really hot yet. I think it scared her more than anything else."
"Thank God."
"You're okay, baby," she assured Ellie with a hug, then pulled away, still trembling over the scary thoughts that manipulated her psyche. "How many times did I tell you not to run in the kitchen?" Ellie's tears became more pronounced at the sound of her mother's voice. "Elizabeth, get in here!"
She didn't realize Liz had already heard the commotion and was standing nearby. "I'm here."
"I told you to keep your eye on them!"
"I was."
"Then why did this happen?" Abbey angrily questioned.
"Abbey," Millie intervened. "Lets just be thankful that no one was hurt. You're just a little scared, right, Sweetie?" she asked a whimpering Ellie.
Abbey wiped away her daughter's tears. "I'm sorry, Princess." She gently touched Ellie's skin with her fingertips. "Does it hurt?" The little girl covered the spot without answering. "If you let me, I'll kiss it for you. It might feel better."
Ellie removed her hand and allowed for Abbey's kiss. "Okay."
As her lips parted the skin, Millie glanced at Abbey's hands. "How do they feel?"
"Okay. I guess I'm getting stronger than I thought."
"Now you can stop holding back and actually do your physical therapy - all of it."
Abbey returned Millie's demanding stare, complete with a mischievous grin, then turned to address Ellie. "You know, Ellie, I remember when we were all getting ready to go to your baptism and your Godmother here accidentally burned my arm with hot tea."
"Yes, and your mother will never let me forget..." Chloe followed as Millie approached Abbey. "Wait a minute. Abbey, you remember that?"
"You spilled it all over me."
"Do you remember the ceremony?"
"Of course I do." Abbey looked at Ellie once again. "It was a special day in my daughter's life. I don't know how I ever forgot it."
She remembered. She remembered Ellie's special day. She remembered Ellie. Lizzie listened as her mother fondly recalled the day of her sister's christening. It was Abbey's first memory, as far as she knew, the first thing that reminded her of her past life, the first step in moving past the horror of the night that changed all their lives. It was Abbey's first memory. And it was of Ellie.
The 11-year-old stood in the kitchen, speechless. There were so many things she wanted to say. So many questions she wanted to ask. Maybe Abbey remembered her too. Maybe she could tell the story of her baptism. But Abbey was so caught up in making Ellie feel better - and blaming Lizzie for the accident - that Lizzie felt she could just fade into the background, her vulnerable heart shattered and ignored.
She tried to stifle the overwhelming emotions that took control of her mind. She tried to push back the hurt that was threatening a flood of tears from deep inside her body.
The few that escaped, she furiously wiped away as she watched her mother place a loving hand on Ellie's cheek to dry any of her residual tears. "How about I put a bandage on your arm to seal the kiss?"
A bandage wasn't actually necessary, but to Ellie, it made all the difference in the world. Abbey wrapped up her forearm nice and snug to protect the clean skin, then reached around her tiny frame and lifted her off the counter.
Millie greeted Ellie with a smile. "All better?"
She nodded and ran towards Chloe as Abbey turned around to see Liz frozen to her spot.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you. Forgive me, Lizzie." She offered a sincere apology, but Liz didn't budge. "Why don't you go back to playing with the Walkman Daddy bought you and Millie and I will look after the girls."
The little voice inside Lizzie's head was eager to convince her it was no big deal, that her mother was remembering her past in bits and pieces and the fact that she remembered Ellie first wasn't a symbol of the love she had for either of her girls. She wanted desperately to believe that, so she retreated to her room without another word.
But locked away behind the four walls she viewed as a private sanctuary didn't help. Her cries were now uninterrupted. She turned on her music and curled herself around in her blanket as her emotions festered to the breaking point.
Unfortunately, it was a regrettable mistake during dinner that triggered an unavoidable firestorm.
After saying grace, Liz stared at the food in front of her. She liked the chicken. She liked the rice. But before she got any further in her inspection, something jumped out at her. There was cauliflower on her plate. Abbey had made cauliflower.
"EW!" she screeched.
"What?" Jed asked before he noticed the marinated vegetable.
"It's cauliflower! I don't eat cauliflower." Abbey should have known, she told herself. In her young mind, it was just another insult.
"Lizzie," Jed started.
"I don't!" she insisted. "Why did you let her make it?"
"I didn't know that's what she was making. Just push it aside. You don't have to eat it. But you do have to have something if you want dessert."
"I don't want dessert. It's chocolate cheesecake. I hate chocolate cheesecake." Already upset by what happened earlier, there was no stopping the tantrum that had just started.
"No, you don't," Jed answered.
"It's your father's favorite," Abbey interjected. "And Ellie's."
"It's not mine," Liz said calmly with an obvious edge to her voice.
Abbey looked to her husband for an explanation. "I'm still back on the cauliflower. What's the problem with cauliflower?"
"There was an incident a few years ago."
"You made me eat it!" Lizzie interrupted.
"WE made her TRY it," Jed corrected. "Turns out, she's allergic."
"Oh no."
"Yeah. She got sick almost immediately. And you and I got the silent treatment for about a week afterwards."
"I'm sorry, Sweetie. I didn't know."
"Yes you did," Lizzie replied. "You just didn't remember."
Millie lowered her head to avoid the uncomfortable intrusion. It was a family conflict, one that didn't require her involvement.
"That's enough," Jed warned his older daughter. "You can eat the chicken and the rice. You like those."
"It all looks gross," she complained as she pushed her plate aside.
"I'll eat it, Mommy." Ellie was always eager to please and desperate to make peace.
Resentful and jealous, Liz turned on her sister. "You know the only reason they had you was to make me happy."
"HEY!" Jed's voice startled everyone, causing a chorus of gasps from the three girls. "Knock it off! What in the world is the matter with you?"
Liz folded her arms in front of her defiantly. "I wanna be excused."
"No. You're going to sit here and you're going to eat something."
"But I said I don't want anything." Her hostility was now overcome by sadness.
In a blatant contradiction to what Jed had said only seconds earlier, Abbey responded. "Liz, if you don't want to eat, then you may be excused while the rest of us finish dinner."
Her mother could do nothing right in Liz's eyes. Suddenly, leaving the table was the only option. "I bet you would have remembered if Ellie was the one who was allergic."
The troubled girl slapped her napkin onto the table and ran to her room.
Jed waited for the inevitable slamming of the door before he addressed Abbey. "I wish you hadn't done that. I don't like being undermined in front of her." Remorseful and confused, Abbey dropped her fork onto her plate. "Not to mention the fact that now she's just going to close up again."
"I don't know how to deal with her anymore. I didn't know what to do."
"Then you shouldn't have done anything." He wasn't angry. He was frustrated. "Lizzie will close herself off if you let her. She's obviously upset about something. She needs to talk about it."
"Fine. Then I'll stay out of it." Abbey hastily stood and left the table, followed immediately by Millie.
Chloe and Ellie both watched as their mothers walked away. Chloe ran after Millie while Ellie struggled with her next move.
Finally, she pushed out her chair and hopped to the ground. She walked past all the deserted seats across the table and sat down right next to her father, looking up at him with sympathetic eyes. "You can have my cheesecake too if you want."
TBC