AN: Sorry for the delay with this chapter! Due to a writing/saving mishap, we lost the original copy and it took much longer to write than we could have imagined. Thanks to all the ladies who tried to help us retrieve the chapter we lost. We appreciate it!

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: Say You Love Me Too

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Previously: Abbey opened up and gave Lizzie a scrapbook full of photos she remembered about the two of them; Abbey and Lizzie decided to have a slumber party to complete the scrapbook

Summary: The slumber party is a great success as Abbey remembers Lizzie's First Communion; Abbey makes a decision that gets Jed's blood boiling

- - -

Usually reserved for girls and teenagers with the energy and drive to talk the night away, slumber parties have the ability to strengthen the bond of any relationship. That's a lesson Abbey learned at a young age when, at a fifth grade slumber party, the little girl with auburn pigtails and sparkling green eyes met her blonde-haired, blue-eyed counterpart named Millicent O'Connell. Both intelligent and competitive, hours of playing cards and board games easily led to a night of gossip and laughter.

More than twenty years had passed since that sleepover awarded her the beginning of a lifelong friendship, but Abbey was hopeful that like all timeless traditions spanning the decades, slumber parties hadn't lost their charm. She shouldn't expect miracles, Jed had warned. But she didn't want miracles. All she wanted was one night to help repair a special relationship that had been badly damaged. One night to start the healing process with Elizabeth.

"We're going to stay up, right?" Lizzie asked her mother as the two headed to the kitchen to grab a couple of drinks.

"If that's what you want."

"Then can we have more dessert?"

"More cookies?"

Lizzie lowered her head with a bashful grin. "More cheesecake."

Abbey returned her smile. "Pour us each a glass of milk and I'll get the cheesecake."

"Can't we have milkshakes?"

"Not if you want another slice of cheesecake. That's entirely too much, especially since you've already had two desserts."

"I know you don't remember, but you used to let me have as much dessert as I wanted."

Manipulation came in many forms. When it was cleverly disguised in the face of a sweet eleven-year-old girl, it was harder to reprimand. But Abbey managed just fine.

"You know what I do remember? I remember the punishment for lying to your mother. So new ground rule." She bent down to Liz's level. "No lying. Or else I'm going to break out the celery sticks instead."

In a clear admission of guilt, Lizzie chuckled as she returned the milk to the fridge. "Celery? Ew. Why couldn't THAT be what you forgot?"

"No such luck."

"Thanks for making me spaghetti and not making me eat the chicken."

"You're welcome."

Grabbing the two plates of cheesecake, Abbey guided Liz out of the kitchen and into the living room. Sleeping bags and blankets covered the plush carpet. Pillows were sprawled out awkwardly over their own private little fortress. Hair brushes, ribbons, and nail polish sat on the coffee table right next to Lizzie's scrapbook. A few abandoned photographs sat on top.

Abbey picked up one of the photos, her thumb gently touching the glossy finish. "This is a great one."

"That was a few years ago."

"The day of your First Communion," Abbey recalled to Lizzie's surprise. "That's what it was, right?"

"Yeah," she replied, watching Abbey stare lovingly at the image in front of her.

The satin white dress fit loose on the top of Liz's seven-year-old frame. The lacy organza bottom hung over her bent knees as she sat in her mother's lap, the side of her face pressed up against Abbey's chest while snuggled in an embrace that appeared to be so tight, it crushed the loose waves of chestnut hair that spilled over her shoulders.

It was a happy picture, one that evoked all the love between a mother and daughter as they sat in front of the church, carelessly laughing and enjoying the beautiful spring day.

"Is that a cross on the bracelet?"

"Uh huh. It's a charm bracelet. And those are real pearls. You gave it to me that morning."

With only a few quick flashes of memory, Abbey put down the picture and looked at her daughter. "Tell me more."

Liz curled her legs around herself and dropped her fork onto her plate. She was not only ready, willing, and able, she was excited to tell the story.

"We went to New York to buy my dress because it was sold out of the store in Boston and we didn't like any of the dresses in Manchester or Hanover as much. Daddy said it was stupid to drive all that way just for a dress, but you told him that this dress made me look like a real life princess."

"Did he come with us?"

"No. He had to stay with Ellie. But I don't think Ellie liked that we didn't take her. She cried the whole time we were gone."

Abbey let out of a soft sigh. "Ellie's really attached to me, huh?"

"She doesn't like it like it when you leave her home." Suddenly, a serious expression broke through Lizzie's cheerful demeanor. "Did you make Ellie a book just like the one you made for me?"

"Yes," Abbey answered, unsure of the reaction she was about to receive.

To her relief, Lizzie's face lit up with a smile. "Good! It would hurt her feelings if you didn't."

Thrilled that Liz cared so much about her sister's feelings, Abbey whispered, "And do you want to know a secret?"

"Yeah!"

"I made one for your father too. But neither of them know so for now, you have to keep this just between us, okay?"

"I promise!"

"I really like that you're always looking out for Ellie," Abbey said as she looked at another photo, this one of Liz standing behind her little sister. A cake in front of the girls read "Happy Birthday Ellie" and the giant number "2" glowed with a flame.

"Isn't that what a big sister is supposed to do?"

"Yes, but you do it remarkably well."

Lizzie shrugged. "When we don't fight."

"You fight less than Aunt Kate and I did when we were growing up. Ellie told me you apologized to her for what happened at dinner." She lifted Liz's chin to look her in the eye. "You're a great big sister, Lizzie," she added with a kiss to her forehead. "Now give me the glue stick."

Liz handed over the glue as Abbey turned the picture. "I thought you didn't remember my First Communion."

"I remembered a lot of it already and you just helped fill in some blanks."

"Like what?"

"Like when you told me that was a cross on the bracelet. I had been shopping for days and I couldn't decide between two of the most gorgeous bracelets I had seen. One had a cross, the other an angel. I remembered that part. And now that I know I picked the cross, it's a little hazy, but I remember paying for it."

"Really?"

"Really. Also, I remembered a road trip, just me and you. We were driving for hours and we must have spent the whole time playing the license plate game in the car."

Lizzie propped herself up on her knees. "That was New York! That's where we were going!"

"I know," Abbey said simply as she held up the photo. "And when we got there, this wasn't the dress we were looking for."

"They were sold out too."

"But you saw this one and you didn't even care about the other one anymore. You pulled it off the hanger and said 'this is it! I want this one!'"

Lizzie nodded. "I really liked it."

"And you looked even more beautiful than you did in the other one."

"You remember the other one too?"

"I remember it was very similar to a dress Daddy bought you when you were five." Abbey turned the pages of the scrapbook to the picture of five-year-old Lizzie in her father's arms. "That one right there."

"It used to be my favorite."

"And you were very unhappy when you outgrew it. I don't think you got over it until we found our First Communion dress," she said with a laugh. "But that doesn't surprise me. You always loved white dresses." She flipped back towards the beginning of the book. "You see that?"

"Yeah."

"That was your first birthday," Abbey said, pointing to the picture of Lizzie in yet another lacy white dress. "I took you to Harrods the week before and held you in my arms. The only dresses you reached out for were the white ones."

"It's a pretty color."

"That was also the day you took your first step," Abbey mentioned softly while staring down at the photograph as if reminding herself.

"It was?"

"Mmm hmm." She looked up at her daughter's beaming face. "See? I remember more than you think. And now, thanks to you, I remember all your white dresses. I remember everything about your First Communion, including the musical angel figurine I gave you that afternoon." She glued the back of the photograph and pressed it down on the page she had already reserved for it. "And you know why I gave it to you?"

"You said it was because I was your angel."

"I remember that too," Abbey said proudly. "But there are a few more things I don't remember." She held out several more pictures that had yet to earn a coveted spot in the book. "What's this?"

"That was at the farm last summer."

"Can you tell me about the farm?"

"It's really neat!" Lizzie exclaimed. "We have horses there and everything!"

"Yeah?"

"And Daddy had a pool built last year so we can go swimming now and not just in the pond either!"

"I used to let you swim in the pond?"

Liz lowered her head shamefully. "Sometimes, if you were there with us. But Daddy used to let us go all the time when he took us."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Abbey chuckled.

And so began hours of reminiscing, both mother and daughter sharing their own stories of the past eleven years while engaging in a marathon hair and nail session. Later, as their exhaustion began to rear its ugly head, they wiggled down into their sleeping bags, tucked safely under the blankets, a scrapbook and glue stick between them as they pasted each and every photo inside.

Abbey's goal was to bridge the distance. What she didn't count on was closing it entirely. Never before had she felt so close to Lizzie. And never before had Lizzie felt so close to her. There was more work to be done, more counseling sessions for both, more talking as they headed towards a deeper understanding of the circumstances surrounding that fateful night, but it was a start.

Slumber parties hadn't lost their charm after all. And neither had the fine art of storytelling.

"Can we do this again?" Lizzie asked as she rested her head on her pillow, her eyes fluttering with drowsiness.

"Of course we can. Maybe next time we'll invite Ellie to join us."

"Yeah. And maybe Amy and her mom can spend the night too. We did that in Girl Scouts once - a mother/daughter slumber party."

"I remember," Abbey said, looking up at the ceiling, happy to be able to mutter those special little words. "Good night, Baby Doll."

"Good night."

- - -

As the sun began to rise, Abbey noticed that Lizzie had fallen asleep. She crawled out from under the covers and made her way to the bay window overlooking the lake behind the house. So entranced in the vivid memories that were still dancing around her mind, she didn't even realize that Jed had snuck up behind her.

"Hey," he whispered in her ear as he rested his arms on the back of her shoulders. "Good morning."

"Shh, Lizzie's still sleeping," she told him as she turned under his fingers. "How was your night?"

"Not as wild as yours apparently," he remarked as he separated the tight curls Liz had created in her hair.

"Oh yeah," Abbey laughed. "I let her do my hair and I tried to braid hers."

"And?"

"Almost," she said, only a little sadness masking her tone. "I'm getting there."

He ran his thumb across the dark smudges under her eyes. "Did you get any sleep at all last night?"

"No," she admitted. "Let's go to the bedroom. We need to talk."

He followed closely behind her and watched as she shut the door. "What's going on?"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Last night was great. Lizzie and I talked about so many things, so many memories I didn't even know existed. She helped bring all those out."

His concern faded prematurely. "That's great."

"It really was and the reason it was is because I finally felt safe. Really safe, you know? I want to feel like that all the time."

"That's what I want too."

"The only way to do that is for me to remember everything. I want Susan to put me under hypnosis."

That was enough to wipe the smile off his face. "No."

"Jed."

"Absolutely not, Abbey. No way." He held up his hands in adamant refusal. "You're pregnant and you're supposed to avoid subjecting yourself to the same kind of stress that landed you in the hospital once before."

"It won't be like that."

"How do you know?"

"You have to trust me."

"It's not about trust. It's about something you're powerless against. Something so horrific that it caused your brain to completely block it out. Why would you want to force yourself to remember?"

"Because I have to. Do you understand? I have to. For me, for you, for the girls. Once I get past this, then I can remember everything, Jed. Everything." He stood silent, waiting for her to continue. "You're the one who wanted me to remember. You're the one who pushed me to remember."

"That was before I knew you were pregnant, before you were rushed to the ER," he reminded her.

"And it was before I told you I loved you. So, what, now that you know I'm not going to leave you, you don't care if I remember anything else?"

"That's not fair."

He was right, it wasn't. And Abbey knew it. "I take it back. But I still want to do this. It's important to me."

"What if you're wrong about this? What if remembering pushes your body too far? What if you end up losing this baby? What if this does more harm than good?"

She took a deep breath as she crossed in front of him. "I won't let it."

"Right because you've been so good at controlling this thing from the start," he replied sarcastically, causing her to spin around to face him.

"Susan's a doctor, an MD. She works at the hospital. She isn't going to do anything to jeopardize this pregnancy. If things get out of hand..."

"If things get out of hand, it might be too late to stop. Then what? What if she brings you out of it and you still can't stop the damage?"

Abbey sluggishly collapsed on the bed, her gaze never leaving her husband's. "All right."

Surely she wasn't conceding that easily. "What?"

"I said all right. Maybe hypnosis is too much. You're right."

"I am?" It always shocked him when he won a battle like this. There had to be more.

And there was. "But I still want to meet with her. I want her to walk me through the past, through the attack."

"Wait. You just agreed that was a bad idea."

"No. I agreed hypnosis was a bad idea. In a regular session, I can stop at any time. I can consciously stop whatever I don't want to remember."

"No." He continued to protest.

"Jed."

"I said no. I don't want you to do this. I'm saying no and the answer is no." After all these years, he still reacted out of impulse, instead of giving himself a moment to realize that kind of attitude would only drive towards her goal. "Or something."

"Are you forgetting that I'm not one of your daughters?"

"I amended it."

"You did?"

"The 'or something.' That was an amendment."

She sat up, puzzled by his rationalization. "That wasn't so much an amendment as it was a reaction to an afterthought, no doubt brought on by my humorless stare."

She knew him so well. He hated that. "Do we not have enough to argue about?"

"Look..."

"I'm scared, Abbey. I'm the one who's scared this time. There's a reason your mind has blocked out that night."

"Don't you want to know what that reason is?"

"Of course I do. But not if it means risking you or our baby. I don't want you to do this."

"I respect your opinion."

"Not enough to abandon this crazy idea?"

Abbey shrugged, unable to tell him what he wanted so desperately to hear. "I'm not asking for your permission, Jed."

"I don't like it."

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"And I want it on the record that I was against it from the start."

"Duly noted." A moment of silence passed between them. "You'll be adequately armed with 'I told you so's' should something go wrong."

"Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"I told you so's? I have never..."

"Okay, okay. I was just kidding."

Jed accepted that and returned to the subject at hand. "Is this because of Lizzie? Did she say something?"

"No."

"One sleepover and suddenly you're ready to remember?"

"Don't do that. Don't make light of it. You have no idea what I've been going through."

"Don't I? I've been going through it right here with you."

"It's different."

He sat down beside her, sympathy clear in his expression. "Okay."

"You know, when I was little, my mom used to tell me if I went to bed early, the morning would come that much sooner. So on Christmas Eve, the night before my birthday, and all those other special days, I'd tire myself out and run up to bed hours before I actually had to. Grandma would look at me and say 'Abigail, every time you close your eyes, another moment of your life passes you by and you don't even know it. You should stay up and enjoy every second because life is too short to miss anything.'"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't realize it back then, but she was right, Jed. You asked me if I went to sleep last night. The answer is no. Because I'm afraid to go to sleep. I'm afraid that I'll wake up and it'll be fourteen years later than it was when I went to sleep."

"Abbey." He gently brushed his hand over hers.

"This is something I have to do. I hope that you'll support me. And if you don't, then I hope you'll understand why I won't let that stop me."

She stood up and walked out of the room as Jed watched, unwilling to follow and reluctant to concede. This was Abbey's decision. If her words hadn't made that clear, the slamming of the door had certainly driven the point home.

All he could do now was prepare himself for the inevitable emotional breakdown that was lurking just around the corner. Only this time, it might not be Abbey who needed protection from the onslaught of terrifying memories. It could very well be him.

TBC