Michiru must have gained about fifteen pounds of muscles in her arms from toting Haruka around the house. Michiru hadn't had the heart to hire a caretaker and she knew that Haruka would never be comfortable with one anyway. Haruka was still having trouble getting into her wheelchair by herself, so Michiru either lifted Haruka into her chair or carried or pulled her to her destinations. Haruka's coordination wasn't what it used to be. Haruka couldn't cook a meal due to her poor motor function and she still didn't have full control over her bladder and bowels. Michiru often had to clean up more than one mess on the bed each morning. She still wasn't even considering a caretaker after two years.
Michiru's schedule had changed drastically. She no longer had time to play the violin or paint when Haruka was awake, and when she was asleep, Michiru was too winded from the day's activities to do anything other than join her paralyzed lover and call it a night. She got up at five o'clock to start breakfast. By the time she was finished, Haruka was awake, and she cleaned whatever mess the poor thing had made during the night. Then she bathed Haruka and fed her. Afterwards, she had to take Haruka in for physical therapy. When she came back, it was already late in the afternoon and she began dinner. After Haruka was fed (it took her a long time to chew and swallow), it was already about ten o'clock and she put Haruka to bed. Then she tidied the house, washed the clothes, and took a shower. After that, Michiru went to bed for four hours of sleep and the cycle started over again.
Haruka was afraid to ask Michiru to do anything else for her. Her back was itching like mad and there were certain parts of her that were also itching to be touched, but she was far too embarrassed to ask Michiru to touch her for any more than the short amount of time she put aside for it. Michiru didn't have any free time anyway. She felt terrible for ruining Michiru's life like she had. Then again, Michiru could leave her at any time; after all, they were not bound by marriage. Still, it felt so wrong to do this to her. If only she had listened to Michiru's advisements to slow down, none of this would have happened. Haruka didn't know what she had been thinking back then, but she now thought it would be easier on them both if them if she could just die in her sleep.
She had gotten desperate enough to try it once. Haruka had tried to suffocate herself in her pillow while Michiru had been cooking breakfast. She had almost succeeded, but only because her arms had almost been too weak push herself up; Haruka had actually been too afraid to go through with it. Michiru had come back into the room with her tray to see her face completely blue. She had nearly dropped the tray, but managed to get it onto the nightstand before she panicked. Michiru had nearly had a heart attack, but Haruka had told her that she was fine. Michiru had still taken her back to the hospital. The doctor told Michiru that Haruka was as fine as she would ever get, but when Michiru had been asked to leave the room, the doctor had told her to have courage. Perhaps what she had done was a bit more apparent than she thought. Michiru had kept an extra eye on her after that.
Michiru had still made time to comfort Haruka. She saved a bit of time every day to try to get Haruka to play the piano again. She would never be able to drive again, but Michiru thought it was possible that with enough practice, Haruka's fingers would be able to move like they had before and make the beautiful music that she used to enjoy. She kissed her still, and occasionally used her fingers to please Haruka, even though everything wasn't functioning down there and she had to use lubricant. Michiru herself had gone a long time without anything and she had been tempted to buy a vibrator, but she realized that she would never have time to do such petty things. She wondered what would become of Haruka if she were to die before her. She wondered if she would be able to take it if Haruka died. Most of all, Michiru wondered if she could actually spend all of her life like this.