Eee hee hee? I was bored. I was playing Wild Arms, and I had the Golem smashing Surf. It was fun and then I wrote this. YAY!

Peaceful. That was the word to describe Surf Village one sunny Monday afternoon.

"SONS OF BITCHES!"

Until one irate Holmcross in a Golem decided to pay a visit.

"WHO'S LAUGHING NOW! HUH!"

It seems our good friend Rudy decided to repay the villagers for past kindnesses.

"TAKE THAT!" The recently-turned-psycho young man shrieked, his blue hair blowing wildly as the Golem's foot crushed a merchant's stall. "WON'T SELL TO DREAM CHASERS, HUH!"

"Rudy, I don't think this is what the Earth Golem's really for. . . ." Cecilia sighed.

"Hey, Rudy! Smash the mayor's house next!" Jack laughed, gesturing toward the only whole building left in the town. "Show him how the shields work!"

Rudy smiled dangerously. "Naw. I wanted to deal with him personally."

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The mayor cowered under his kitchen table in the fetal position, not noticing the huge shadow towering over his house. The Earth Golem stopped, lowering its three passengers to the ground. "Heh. . . Heh-heh . . . HA HA HA HA!" Rudy cackled maniacally. "He'll see what happens when you exile Rudy Roughknight!" The mentally-troubled metal boy smirked as he picked up one of the few surviving chickens.

"Uh. . . Rudy?" Jack cut in. "That's a chicken."

"I KNOW WHAT IT IS, YOU FOOL!" Rudy yelled. "I plan to throw it at his head!" Having said this, he dashed inside.

The Mayor peeked out from under the table. "Ah! R-Rudy! S-so nice to see you again!" He smiled weakly. "H-how have you been?"

Rudy glared at him. " Well, after you KICKED me out of your town, I found two other Dream Chasers. A few days later, we found Lolithia. And about three weeks after that, we excavated this Earth Golem here. Two months after we found it, we made a huge tower rise out of the ocean and I figured, 'hey, what if something happens and I have regrets before I die?'" He stepped closer. "So I thought, 'I've always wanted to do a few things.' One of them was to throw a chicken at your head."

Mayor Pifer just stared. "You destroyed a village to throw a chicken at my head?" He stood up, cowardice nearly forgotten. "That's just dumb."

"MUTHA FUKKKAAAAA!"Rudy screamed, lobbing the terrified poultry at the mayor's head. The world seemed to slow down as the bird collided with Pifer's nose, making his head snap backward. "HA HA HA HA!"

"Owww. . . " the mayor groaned. "That was really uncalled for, you know. I think you hurt the chicken."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH TAKE THIS!" Rudy hefted the Arc Smash ARM out of its secret hiding place, laughing as it charged. . . .

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"Rudy! RUDY!" Jack yelled as he shook the younger male's shoulder. "We have to gooo!"

"It's no use, Jack," Cecilia muttered. He's out cold. Must be a real good dream he's having. . . ."

Rudy smiled as he hugged his Arc Smash ARM close.

TEHNDE

Well. . . it was pointless and violent. Hope nobody smashes my face in.