CHAPTER EIGHT

Night had turned to early morning when Luke and Mara finally left the engagement party. Hand in hand, they arrived at her apartment and promptly deposited themselves on a lounger in the sitting area.

"That went well," Luke remarked, propping his boots on the low table in front of him. "Attempted kidnapping aside."

Mara shot him a sideways glance, "Haven't you heard? It's an undisputed galactic phenomenon that Skywalkers attract trouble. I think I read it in a scientific journal somewhere."

Luke rolled his eyes as Mara rose with a swish of her black gown and poured two small glasses of Dodbri whiskey. Returning to Luke, she sat facing him, tucking her legs to the side as she handed him a glass. "Speaking of, how was your trip?"

Luke noticed the tightness around her lips but reserved a comment. It had been a stressful evening for all of them. He answered lightly, "Good, I hope. Cathartic. For Father, at least. He had sworn that he would never go back to Tatooine and, for a while, I didn't think I was going to sway him. But he finally relented when I used some emotional inducement."

"You mean blackmail," she quipped, attempting a grin.

"I prefer to call it incentive. Sometimes, I think you have to go back before you can go forward, and Force knows my father can be stubborn about going back," Luke added warily. "As strong and powerful as he may be, he still has his weaknesses and facing difficult memories has never been his strongest point. But, as much as we hated that ball of sand growing up, it centers us Skywalkers. Even Leia felt it when she was there. For all of Tatooine's harshness, it really has a mystical quality."

Mara examined the contents of her glass, "You're lucky, you know? That you have a place to call 'home'." In spite of her privileged access to Imperial records as the Emperor's Hand, she had never been able to discover anything about her parents. She rarely spoke of her origin, and really, Luke's father was the only attachment she had. Perhaps that was why losing him hurt so much. Her biological heritage was simply of no consequence anymore, but sometimes she couldn't help but wonder. She returned her attention to Luke, making a conscious effort to repress such hazardous thoughts, "And Naboo?"

Luke face lit up as he answered, "Have you ever been there?"

"No, but I've heard it's lovely. It was your mother's home planet, right?"

"Yes. There's a memorial there to her, at the terrace where she and my father were wed. It's the most beautiful place, Mara." He leaned forward and took her hand eagerly, "And it gave me an idea. I think we should get married there."

"But," Mara started cautiously. "Leia has made all those other plans…"

"I know," he answered quickly. "We can still have the public ceremony. This would be private, for family and friends."

"But, Luke," she protested. "It's a family memorial. Your mother…I couldn't possibly…"

Mara felt a strange sense of separation from her fiancé's family at the mention of his mother, like she was intruding. She knew it was unfounded, but she had the strangest feeling it had to do with Anakin. It occurred to her that she felt like she was standing outside the family circle with every mention of Luke's parents.

"You are part of my family," Luke squeezed her hand in reassurance.

She eyed him skeptically, "What would your father think?"

"I already asked and he said that he would be honored. He is happy for us," Luke said. His father always wanted his happiness, he knew this. Anakin had never been anything but pleasant when discussing his intended, but Luke knew there was something simmering there. Something festering.

Mara's features hardened and she stood abruptly, "Well, that can't be right." She loved Luke but his naiveté was maddening at times. He thought only in terms of his own willingness to forgive, which was pretty immense.

Luke was taken back by her sudden hostility, "What are you talking about?"

"I am quite sure that my happiness is of no significance to him," she answered coldly.

Luke rose to face her, incredulous at the turn the conversation had taken. "Mara, you cannot continue to judge him by things that happened in…in another life!" he sputtered.

Mara gritted her teeth. It had been easy to be calm and detached when simply talking to Luke or Leia about their father. But now that she had seen and felt…him, a tidal wave of misery surged within her, threatening to drown her with its intensity. In desperation, she lashed out with old defensive tactics that came all too easily, "Why not?" she demanded sharply. "People judge me all the time for my former career. Why should he get off crate free?"

"You are being completely irrational," Luke felt a flush of exasperation. He lowered his voice for emphasis. "Nothing has been free for him."

"He's had a few hardships himself, you know," he continued heatedly. "I would have thought that you, of all people, would understand what he has had to overcome to be here. It's not as if Palpatine did him any favors, either. And I am getting a little tired of skirting around this issue when neither you nor my father will tell any of us what the Sith hells is going on. If every mention of my father is going to turn into an argument, this could become a very unpleasant marriage."

And there it was. They stared at each other, the words reverberating between them like a poisoned vibroblade.

Mara paled. It took a lot to rile Luke Skywalker, and his father was obviously a precarious subject. She braced herself - he had the right to know.

Luke raked his hands through his hair, "I'm sorry, Mara. But I just don't understand-"

"I loved him." Mara had never spoken the sentiment aloud and felt suddenly and completely vulnerable in its wake, the past washing over her like the tide of an ocean.

An uncharacteristic quiver in her voice betrayed the depth of emotion that the confession evoked, "He was everything to me. My mentor, my refuge…my surrogate father. But, in the end, I meant nothing to him…and he left."

Luke stood speechless before her. She studied a spot on the wall over his right shoulder and forced an account of the past through the guardrail of her memory. "When Palpatine sent me to Jabba's Palace to kill you, I discovered Vader's real name…and that you were his son. That's why I didn't try to assassinate you.

"The Emperor found out, of course," she continued. "Apparently, he had known for some time that I claimed another Master and the mission to Jabba's Palace was nothing but a ploy to destroy us. I would kill you and then Vader would kill me. He almost did," her throat tightened at the memory of the red glowing blade poised at her neck.

"I was arrested and taken before the Emperor and Vader. Palpatine gave me an ultimatum: to kill you or be punished for treason. I told him that I would not betray my Master…and that I would not kill his son."

She swallowed, "You can imagine how well he took that."

Luke grimaced. He, too, knew the consequences of defying the Emperor.

Mara crossed her bare arms in front of her, as if it could shield her from the memory. "The next thing I knew, I was on the floor. There are varying degrees of Force lightning - did you know that? There's the kind that to simply scare you. Then there's kind that compels you to you reconsider your life choices. Then there's the murderous rage that makes you pray for death to come quickly. I'd never felt the last, deadliest lightning…until then." Her voice drifted off, eyes glazing over against the pain of recollection.

"Vader and Palpatine argued. I couldn't really hear what they were saying – it was all fuzzy then – but I do remember the Emperor telling Vader that he could save me, but that it would kill him. And then Palpatine would save Vader's suit…for you."

Luke shuddered involuntarily.

"Vader left me there," Mara raised her eyes and, for an unguarded instant, Luke saw the anguish of betrayal reflected in their green depths. "I trusted him-" her voice cracked as she turned away, angrily swatting at the threatening tears. "I was young enough to believe in trust - an ideal that I subsequently abandoned for many years."

"Mara, I-" Luke started weakly.

"I blamed you, of course. Seeing as how I thought he was dead," she continued as if she hadn't heard him.

Luke nodded slowly, finally understanding. "That was why you wanted to kill me. Why you hated me."

She turned to him with an ironic smile of self-depreciation, "It made sense at the time, I assure you. It's truly remarkable, you know. How hate can poison and distort a rational mind." Mara reached for her glass of Dodbri whiskey and downed it in one shot. "And then, I met you and…" She plunked the glass onto the table, "You know the rest."

Luke searched his memory for the moment when he had felt the release from her hatred. "Wayland," he murmured. "C'boath's attack."

"You were willing to sacrifice yourself for me, even when I despised you beyond all thought or reason. After that, I could no longer blame you for Vader's actions, or lack thereof. He was dead. I moved on."

Luke bowed his head, "My father is not who he used to be, Mara."

"So I've heard," she answered dryly.

Luke stepped close enough for her to feel his breath against her face. His eyes boring into hers, he clasped her arm gently, "I cannot choose between the two of you. You have to find a way to move on again, Mara."

"Don't preach at me, Skywalker," she answered, drained of all emotion. "You won't have to choose anything." Turning away, she picked his cloak up from the lounger and handed it to him. "You should probably go. I have to leave early in the morning for the Moddell sector."

Luke took the cloak from her hesitantly, "I thought Karrde had reassigned all your duties until after the wedding."

"Cade had a family emergency and I told him I'd fill in. I would have been gone before you and your father got here if Leia hadn't rescheduled this blasted party," she moved toward the door.

Luke followed slowly. She had withdrawn into herself, just as she had during every other confrontation they'd had in the past ten years. He watched her in disbelief; he couldn't believe that they were here again.

Mara turned to face him and Luke stepped forward swiftly, encircling her with his arms and pressed his lips against hers. She stiffened but he held her even tighter in response, refusing to release her from his kiss until she relaxed in his embrace. Luke felt her mental barriers yield and started to step back, but her hands sought his face and pulled his mouth against hers fervently, in desperate apology.

When they finally separated, Luke spoke in a voice husky with emotion, "I love you, Mara. I want this to work."

"So do I," she whispered, eyes pleading silently for understanding. "So do I."

to be continued...