CHAPTER TEN
Alone aboard the Mistryl's Silhouette, Mara rummaged through a supply compartment for packets of stimcaf, the confrontations with Anakin and Luke reverberating through her mind like a cymbal gone awry.
"I would think that you, of all people, would understand what he has had to overcome to be here."
Mara understood, all right. Even after pledging her allegiance to the New Republic, she had floundered through years of self-destructive patterns. She knew what people had thought; she wasn't deaf. She'd heard the whispered accusations the she was avoiding commitment or running from her past, or other such nonsense, when the only thing she had ever fled in her life was herself.
And now, dreams that hadn't plagued her in over a decade had returned with every attempt at sleep; nightmares of blood-stained hands that haunted her in a relentless downward spiral of despair. Once-familiar tendrils of the Dark Side, hungry for her pain, lay in wait just outside her consciousness.
Mara closed her eyes, relaxing into the Force. The threatening shadows receded as she immersed herself in the living power, just as Luke had taught her.
Luke.
She fingered the delicate strands of emerald and silver around her neck. He had saved her, his light burning through the shell of her self-imposed prison and penetrating her soul just as it had pierced Vader's cocoon of darkness. He would tear himself apart for his family. Could she do any less for him?
A tingle of anticipation prickled the back of her neck just before the nav computer signaled incoming coordinates. Karrde's contact for this particular run routinely waited for Cade's arrival in the sector prior to transmitting the rendezvous point.
Mara keyed to receive the coordinates and the tingle along her hairline exploded down her arms and back. Of course, she thought. The premonition in the Force alone should have told her. It was precisely the reason she had refused this assignment, the only assignment she'd ever refused from Karrde, from the very beginning.
Luke's voice echoed in her mind: "Sometimes… you have to go back before you can go forward."
Mara took a calming breath and exhaled it slowly. With resigned determination, she set the course for Vjun.
The transaction with Karrde's associate had been completed quickly and nowhere near the large manor house now filling the viewport of the Silhouette. The very atmosphere of this planet tingled with the Force and drew her to this particular hilltop like a warm embrace.
The spires of Bast Castle rose before her as the ship descended into the mist. The planet's bleak environment had hidden the turrets until she had broken into the lower atmosphere. The landing pad jutted from the edge of the castle, appearing from nowhere in the cloud cover.
Mara landed the ship and exited, glancing up at the clouds scuttling across the gray sky which was, thankfully, free of seasonal acid rains today. She expected the castle to be secured, but it wasn't. Grit and grime from the landing pad blew into the entry way as she stepped inside the unlocked entrance. Mara pulled her jacket tighter as the temperature in the castle seemed to drop ten degrees. She could see her breath puff in front of her face.
She jumped back as a hura lark flitted from an overhead nest hidden in a crack. She walked to the main entrance and half expected to find Myr and the droid staff waiting to welcome her. She snorted to herself; that had been a long time ago. The Empire had most certainly made sure there was nothing left to inhabit the home of the traitor, Darth Vader.
Mara stopped in the foyer and looked around. The windows still held their opaqueness and, ironically, she didn't get the feeling of ominous foreboding from them that she had felt in her youth. She wondered if Anakin had ever returned to retrieve any valuables and shuddered as the past threatened to assail her again. Had he known the last time he was here that his destiny was right around the corner? Or had he walked away from the castle and never looked back as he did so many other things?
She circled the room and ran her fingers along the door frames and window sills. It appeared he hadn't made it back to his home before eradicating the persona of Darth Vader forever. She turned toward the main parlor and stopped short, the overturned statue of the Dark Lord lay in the middle of the floor, a testament to the passage of time and the events therein.
She paused before the masked onyx visage, fleeting images flashing before her eyes of lightsaber sparring matches, training aboard the Executor, and the feeling that she was closer to something more mysterious and dangerous than anyone had ever been in the Empire. Her master had always reminded her of the sleek black Sherrka cats in the zoo at Imperial Center. They were so deadly that to cross them meant the end, if one were stupid enough to try. But the animal's trainers could lie beside them in the night and never ascertain a scratch - that is unless they came between the Sherrka and her kits.
Shaking off the reverie, she made her way into the large study. She scanned the interior, once the epitome of understated masculine sophistication, now dust-covered and abandoned. Residual signs of the Empire's random vandalism lingered everywhere she looked.
Mara lowered herself onto the lounger across from the large desk. The black leather, once smooth and soft, was now cracked and flaking. It had been her favorite spot in this manor that she would have called home, if she claimed such a place at all. The room conjured memories that flooded her mind and, for once, she surrendered to them...
She had been fourteen or fifteen years old the first time she'd accompanied Vader to his private residence after investigating reports of Rebel activity in the Outer Rim.
They were met on the secure landing platform by a footman droid and an unassuming woman about five years older than Mara, with brown braids bound tightly at the crown of her head. The woman curtsied in formal greeting, "Welcome home, my Lord. Your rooms are ready and I have made the preparations as requested for your guest."
"Very good," Darth Vader's voice rumbled. He indicated Mara with a slight nod of his head, "This is Mara Jade. See that she is made comfortable and that her needs are attended." With that, he turned and strode into the castle, cape billowing behind him in the wind.
The woman curtsied again as he passed and then turned to Mara, "Welcome, Miss Jade. My name is Myr and I am his lord's administrative housekeeper." She smiled as she led Mara inside, "Is this your first time on Vjun?"
"Yes, it is," Mara answered.
"There's not much to see, but you've arrived on a good day. The mist is heavy, but there is no rain. Come, I will show you to your chambers and then to the main areas of the manor." Myr smiled again and Mara felt the warmth in the housekeeper's smile.
"Thank you," Mara followed her, silently admiring the tasteful surroundings.
Mara's suite consisted of a small sitting area with a desk and holo station, a sleeping chamber and refresher. The large, imposing bed was surprisingly soft and she fell asleep easily that evening only to be awakened in the middle of the night by violent chills and a blinding headache.
Stumbling down the stairs, she was surprised to find Myr still awake. "Excuse me," Mara apologized. "I was just looking for-"
Myr placed her hand on Mara's forehead and frowned, "No need to explain, my lady. It happens to most people their first time on this planet. Something about the wretched air here makes off-worlder's sick almost immediately. Here," she gently guided Mara to the large leather lounger in the study. "Sit down. I'll bring you something to help."
Myr brought her a cup of foul-tasting liquid which Mara drank quickly, fighting the urge to be sick at her stomach. Myr waited until Mara stopped gagging to ask, "Would you like me to help you back to your room?"
"No, I'll be fine," Mara answered weakly. "I'll just sit here for a minute."
Mara must have fallen asleep because she woke suddenly to the towering form of her master standing over her. "I'm sorry. I-" she whispered, her tongue thick and uncooperative, as her whole body shook uncontrollably. He said something she couldn't comprehend through the fog of pain in her head. His dark form loomed closer and the room spun swiftly as he lifted her into his arms.
Tossing fitfully in her bed, she roused periodically with vague impressions of Myr swabbing her forehead or pressing a cup of foul liquid to her lips. That night, Mara was jolted from feverish sleep by the sound of her own scream, the Emperor's garbled voice penetrating her thoughts like the snap of a neuronic whip. She clamped her hands over her ears as if that would protect her from the disease-inflicted agony of his telepathic communication.
The door opened abruptly and Vader was at her side. "It hurts," she gasped, pushing sweat-soaked hair away from her face.
"What does he want you to do?" Vader asked.
"I don't know," tears streamed down her face. "I can't understand…"
"The illness affects your mind," Vader placed a gloved hand on her forehead and Mara felt his carefully controlled power and concentrated effort not to hurt her with a mind probe. The horrific pain stopped as suddenly as it started and the last thing she remembered before succumbing to the peaceful oblivion of a healing trance was her master's voice, "I will take care of it…"
A gust of wind blew a loose casing against the window and jolted Mara back to the present. She had never asked Vader about that mission when he'd returned. He must have completed Palpatine's command because she hadn't been punished by the Emperor upon her return. Had she thanked him? She couldn't remember.
Mara rubbed her hands across her face, abruptly aware of the cumulative weight of exhaustion. The room had grown dark and she keyed for the lights. Surprisingly, a few of them still worked. Carefully climbing the stairs in the semi-dark, she turned down the corridor to the suite that had been hers.
The lights did not work in her room, but she did not need them. Feeling for the bureau, she reached inside and withdrew several thick blankets. Wrapping herself in their warmth, she collapsed onto the bed and slept a dreamless sleep for the first time in days.
to be continued...
A/N from Trace: Myr appears courtesy of rhonderoo's story, Anniversaries of the Heart. :)