Hmmm…so the random one-shots continue unabated. Hopefully this one will be better.

Yuffie and Cloud sat on a table in the back room of Cid's shop. Both were in their underwear. Cloud had on white boxers with red hearts and his moth-eaten cape slung around his shoulders, like a comic book character. Capitan Underpants. Boxer Man. Brief Boy. Yuffie had on only her top and a thong.

"Aren't you a little young to be wearing a thong, Yuffie? Where the hell did you get a thong anyway?" Cloud asked. "And more importantly, how did you get it past Aerith?"

"I bought the last 5 pairs from JC Penny when me and Squall were shopping for clothes yesterday." Yuffie replied, smiling. Some times her brilliance amazed even her. "When he wasn't looking I stuffed them in the chambers of the gun thingie on his gunblade. So he brought the gunblade back to the hotel, and when he was out, I swiped a pair to wear today. Didn't get the others before he came back, though…"

Cloud started at her. "And what happens when he takes his gunblade to practice, Yuffie?"

Yuffie suddenly got a vision of Squall firing his gunblade, but instead of a bullet, a skimpy lace thong came out of the barrel. Yuffie collapsed in laughter.

Cloud watched Yuffie coolly. "You aren't afraid of what he will do to you?" he asked.

"I run back and pull them out, but if you haven't noticed, you have all my clothes." She said, pointing to the wager pile. In addition to Yuffie's and Cloud's clothes and equipment, there were also several bottles of alcohol swiped from Cid's liquor cabinet, several slices of pizza, a blitzball, Cid's lance, a gold compass-like instrument with 7 hands and a row of tiny pictures along the rim, a keychain, a papou fruit, and several other things that were there 'in spirit' because their owners where reluctant to run out half naked into the hotel to go get them.

But soon, they will all be MINE! Yuffie thought, grinning mischievously.

They were playing poker. Strip poker, to be precise.

"Straight flush." Cloud said.

Yuffie grinned. "five of a kind."

"No way." Cloud said. Yuffie showed him her hand. Yet, it was there. Four fives, and a joker. Five of a kind, not straight flush, was the highest hand in poker, but it could only be played if the deck had wild cards, such as a joker, two one-eyed jacks, or four deuces. It consisted of any 4 cards of the same number, and a wild card.

Cloud sighed and reached for his cape.

"Ah Ah Ahhhhh…" Yuffie said. "Sing the song, and sing it like you mean it."

"Fine." Cloud replied sullenly as he pulled off his cape. "I'm, too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my pants…"

Yuffie grinned from ear to ear and clapped her hands together happily.

There was a flash of light, and the click of a photo being taken.

"So sexy it…Hey, who took that picture?" Cloud asked.

"Oh, Aerith's gonna love this." Cid said from the doorway, his camera swinging by the strap from his finger.

"Give me that camera old man." Cloud roared and tried to wrestle the camera away from Cid, who proved himself to be unusually spry for an old man.

Yuffie swiped a piece of pizza from the pile and leaned against the doorframe, watching Cid and Cloud duke it out.

She grinned as Cid clamped Cloud's head under his armpit and began to give him a noogie. After a few minutes the fight ended with Cloud on the floor and Cid still in possession of the Camera.

Pulling that gigantic weed of a straw out of his mouth, he grinned at Cloud, who was moaning and clutching his head. "Mess with the best, go down with the rest, Spikey." He stretched his arms over his head. "This calls for a victory smoke." He said, and opened the secret drawer behind his front desk were he hid his cigars from Aerith.

He looked at the empty drawer and blinked. "Who stole my cigars!"

"Swiped 'em, Sold 'em, bought candy." Yuffie said from the door through a mouthful of pizza.

"Girl, I swear…where's my lance…" he said, turning around looking for his weapon. Then he noticed Cloud looking sheepishly at the floor. "What?" Cid asked.

"I kind of borrowed it, and…"

"He lost it to me!" Yuffie finished for Cloud.

Yuffie watched in fascination as Cid's face turned every color red imaginable. "You…You…What!"

"Hope he doesn't look in his liquor cabinet…" Yuffie said under her breath. Cid began to rage. Cloud tried to become as small and unnoticeable as possible.

Suddenly Cid stopped mid-stride. "I won't make you pay for the stuff you stole..."

"I didn't steal it, I just borrowed it indefinitely…"

"Shh." Cid said, and continued. "If you let me join."

Suddenly Yuffie, who's imagination was large and somewhat dirty, had a vision of Cid naked at the poker table.

"OH MY GOD!" She screamed. "SOMEONE GORGE MY EYES OUT!" She covered her eyes, turned around, and walked into the doorpost, cursed, and finally walked back into the back room, where there was whiskey. Whiskey would solve all of her problems.

"Ewwww…." Cloud said from his position on the floor. "That image has scarred me for life."

Cid huffed. "I'll have you know I have a good physique for my age."

"Who told you that, a blind hooker?" Cloud questioned.

"Just shut up and deal the cards, Underwear Man." Cid said grouchily.

Fortunately for both Yuffie and Cloud, they never got to see Cid naked. By the end of the game, in fact, Cid was the only one fully clothed.

Cid let out a chuckle and raked in his winnings. "I love it when people give me their money."

Yuffie and Cloud shivered, completely naked except for their cards.

"Cid old buddy, old pal…" Yuffie said pleadingly, "You'll give us our clothes back, right?"

"Nope." Cid said, grinning evily. "There are some barrels, however, that I'll sell you for a reasonable price…

"REASONABLE PRICE MY ASS!" Yuffie yelled to Cid, clutching her barrel around her. Cid merely grinned and waved at the unfortunate pair, who sprinted back to the hotel as fast as their legs could carry them.

Cid cupped his hand to his ear. "Sorry, can't hear you!" he said cheerfully. Shading his eyes, he looked out over the horizon. "There comes the Traverse Marching Band…hehehe, ol' Spikey's crashed right into them." He chuckled. It reminded him of the time the whole of Hollow Baston's Orchestra walked in on Shera and him making out after an opera. If they come in a few minutes later they would have been treated to a whole lot more than just a make-out session.

"Heh, I just yelled at them, 'what, never seen a couple make out before?' and we kept on going." Cid said to himself.

"And I'm talking to myself. Guess you where right Shera- the mind is the first to go."

Disclaimer- if anyone thinks I own Kingdom Hearts or the Final Fantasy Games, I will put them in a nail-studded barrel and roll them down the stairs. I own nothing.

This was originally going to be part of Screename, but I figured it would be better as its own sep one-shot. Enjoy, and please review!