Who Am I?
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or its characters even though I wish I did.
Opening Scene 1
The Park
Flash into Buffy running through the park close to a vampire's heels.
Buffy: I wasn't finished talking to you!
Buffy catches up and jumps on him. They fight and Buffy stakes him and he dusts.
Buffy: Hey, I didn't get to finish.
Opening Credits
Commercial Break
Scene 2
The School Library
Buffy walks into the library
Buffy: Hey Giles I just killed a vamp but he wasn't very nice he wouldn't even join in on the conversation.
Buffy realizing after a moment of no reply that Giles must not be here she hears a pounding that echoes through the school (at this point show clips of hallways in the school with the pounding in the back round).
Buffy: Hello anybody here? Giles?
There's a rustling between the bookshelves and Giles' hand falls to the ground trying to get out. Buffy runs to him worried.
Buffy: Giles are you okay? Giles what happened?
Giles: Who's Giles? Who are you?
Buffy: I'm Buffy Summers, The Slayer, and you're Rupert Giles my watcher, don't you remember?
Giles: Who?
Buffy: What happened to you?
Giles: I don't remember.
Buffy: Stay here, I'm calling for an ambulance.
Giles: (His voice deepens) NO!
Buffy: What the …?
Giles: (Voice still deep starts chanting) Ai Nagog Citantha, Ai Nagog Citantha, AI NAGOG CITNTHA, AI NAGOG CITANTHA!
A large flash comes from Giles.
Scene 3
The Park
Willow, Oz, Xander, and Cordelia are walking through the park. Willow and Oz are holding hands and Xander and Cordelia are yelling at each other.
Willow: (To Oz) Isn't tonight beautiful.
Oz: I know what I'm looking at is.
Willow smiles and looks at Cordelia and Xander.
Willow: Boy love is in the air.
Xander and Cordelia: Hey!
Cordelia: It's not my fault he's a stupid dummy.
Xander: Hey, I resent that.
Cordelia: You should.
Xander gets a hurt face and Cordelia smiles.
Willow: Why don't we all try getting along?
Cordelia: Yeah well, what do you know…? Oh, right … nothing.
Willow: Okay, if I don't know anything and you do then what's the square root of eight hundred forty- one?
Cordelia: Uh… um.
Willow: Give up? (Cordelia nods her head) It's twenty- nine.
Cordelia: Why would I need to know that anyway? It's not like I'll actually have to make a living. That's what men are for.
Willow: (Sarcastically) 'cause that's just fair.
Cordelia: Whatever… let's go meet Buffy and Giles at the library.
Scene 4
The School Library
Oz: I think that Molock was much creepier than D' Hoffryn.
Willow: But D' Hoffryn was definitely stronger.
Cordelia: (Gasps) Wow, look like the aftermath of the Christmas sale at Barneys in here.
Xander: Oh my god, Buffy! She looks like Hell and I know I've been there.
They crowd around Buffy and she sits up.
Buffy: Who are you people?
Oz: I'm Oz this is Willow (points to her) this is Xander (points to him) and this is Cordelia (points to her) and we're your friends.
Cordelia: Speak for yourself.
Willow: Cordelia! Anyway Buffy, do you remember anything about yourself.
Buffy: No, not really
Xander: Do you remember how you got here?
Buffy: Yea, the man behind the book self, he was angry and yelled at me.
They all cautiously go over to the book self and see Giles sitting in the fetal position rocking. Willow kneels besides him and rubs his shoulder.
Willow: Giles what happened?
Giles: No, no, no, NO! ( His voice deepens) You're not suppose to be here, you weren't supposed to come my orders were the Slayer and the Watcher, not you NOT YOU!
Xander: Little flag coming up in my head telling me to run, who agrees? (They all raise their hands)
Willow backs away from Giles over to Oz. Cordelia steps behind Xander putting her arms around him obviously frightened.
Giles: To late now. (You hear a clicking sound) I've already locked the doors there's no escaping now. Ai Nagog Citantha, Ai Nagog Citantha, AI NAGOG CITANTHA, AI NAGOG CITANTHA!
Commercial Break
Scene 5
The School Library
Everyone is lying on the ground you see that Giles is knocked out and Oz is no where to be seen. Cordelia moans and sits up.
Cordelia: What happened? Ow, my head hurts. Oh no, how's my hair? (She feels her hair, feels it's alright and smiles) Good. (She looks around) Oh no everybody's dead!
As if on cue Xander, Willow and Buffy all sit up. Willow hair and eyes are black and she starts to float. Buffy looks around as if searching for someone. Xander stands and salutes. Giles comes out from the bookcase trying to speak aloud.
Buffy: Dawn where are you? (Dawn is Buffy's sister in future episodes)
Xander: Don't worry mam this is a simple search and rescue mission we will have her back in no time unless one of the sub- terrestrials got her but then we will slain it.
Willow: This world reeks of humanity and sin. Why am I confined in these small quarters it feels as if I can barely move my arms?
Buffy: Oh, no. Will you're evil again crap. Um Xander go and get my magic Broad sword, Tara and Dawn go to the other room your just gonna get in the way. Wait where is Dawn and Tar? Xander have you seen them? What are we doing in the school library didn't this thing blow up during graduation.
Xander: No mam I never heard of them, mam.
Buffy: Okay then? Giles can you get the ingredients for the Finders Spell for Willow to do so we can find Tara and Dawn that is if we can get Willow to stop being evil.
Giles still trying to speak points to his mouth then moves his hand in an outward motion.
Cordelia: Oh my God, are you gonna throw up?
Buffy: Your gonna throw up?
Cordelia: Yeah, I just said that.
Giles shakes his head no. Then he scrambles to the counter to grab some paper and a pen. He gets it and writes, "I can't talk" on it then show it to Buffy.
Cordelia: Well as long as you don't throw up.
Buffy nods to show she understands.
Giles scribbles, "Where's Oz and Cordelia?" and shows it.
Cordelia: I'm right here you old librarian!
Buffy: She's in LA with Angel and has been for several years.
Cordelia: What me in LA that's awesome. What? I'm with Angel. I haven't been in LA for several years. What is she talking about?
Giles writes down, "What? I saw her this morning."
Suddenly you hear a low growling. And you see something running across the back round. Everybody looks that way and you see coming from between the book selves Oz in werewolf form panting.
Commercial Break
Scene 6
School Library
Everyone except Willow screams. Giles tries to, then closes his mouth remembering. They all ruin into what normally is the cage that Oz is kept in to not get eaten, except Willow who stay out in the open and whispers in Latin then a purple force field comes around her.
Buffy: Okay, so this wiggin' it's not even a full moon!
Xander: We've got to bring him down, bring him down.
Buffy: NO! You can't he'll turn back this all some miserable joke or some type of spell or something.
Cordelia: If you kill him then Willow will steal you from me. (To Xander)
Cordelia then touches him and he looks directly where she standing.
Xander: (Xander says like his old self) Boy this'll be something to remember!
Cordelia: Can you see me? Xander!
Xander: Of course, I c- (She takes her had off him) What's going on general? (Salutes)
Cordelia: Oh, no! What tell me, what did I do to deserve this?
During all this everyone is hiding from Oz in the corner of the cage.
Mysterious Whisper: You got this because you were here with them when it happened.
Cordelia: What? Here when what happened? You mean the making use all weird thing?
Mysterious Whisper: Yes and I am the reason for that. I am a parasite so therefore I can only survive and rule when in a host.
Cordelia: So are you saying that you went inside Giles and made it so that everyone went all wacky?
Mysterious Whisper: No I'm saying that I'm a cute little rabbit! Yes, that's what I mean.
Cordelia: Wait why can you hear me?
Mysterious Whisper: Because, you are the one to make an important decision. You can both become my new host and stop me from control of your friends from depleting them of their energy or you can keep being invisible to all of you're friends and slowly die after I take all your energy.
Cordelia: (After a few moments of thought) Fine I'll be your stupid host, but first I want to see my friends back to normal.
Mysterious Whisper: Your wish is my command, I've always wanted to say that.
Suddenly Oz changes back, Willow falls to the floor with an ouch and crawls to Oz's side. Xander and Buffy look at each other then push each other apart. Giles looks around says okay, then shouts in excitement. They all turn and see Cordelia standing there.
Xander: Yo, girl wassup? I hope you don't take this (points to Buffy) the wrong way.
Cordelia: I'm okay, after all it's not like I'm suffering from neurological damage.
Giles: Are you okay? You don't seem yourself.
Cordelia: Maybe that freaky mojo stuff is still affecting me.
Buffy: That's weird I don't even remember seeing you when it was all going down.
Xander: I do. I remember seeing you for like a second then I turned all commando again.
Cordelia: Yea, so what, who cares.
Oz: Wait a minute what happened with the Giles going all crazy thing.
Cordelia: I told you guys why does it matter what past is past.
Willow: Okay Cordelia there is so something wrong with you.
Cordelia: STOP! There is nothing wrong with me. I'm just me Cordelia… Cordelia…
Buffy jumps on top of Cordelia
Buffy: So you're the thing that's making life hard.
Cordelia: So Slayer you've discovered me. Kirtamra the parasite. Good job. But in a few minutes your friend shall be drained of here energy and die.
Buffy: Then I guess I should kill you then huh?
Cordelia: To bad if you're wrong where you try to kill me you might kill her.
Giles to Buffy: If you hit her hard in the back of the neck Kirtamra should fall off then you should just have to squish him.
Buffy walks up to Cordelia and slaps her in the back of the head. Kirtamra falls to the floor. Buffy looks at him and laughs.
Buffy: Awe, he's so cute!
Giles: Don't taunt the parasite.
Buffy: Why, can he hurt me?
Giles: It's tacky.
She lifts her foot then squishes him.
Commercial Break
Credits
The End
By: Spikelover1069