The bandages on my hands are finally off, and my mother says I can give school another try. Tomorrow I start again, but am I ready? I don't want to face my classmates, but I have to sooner or later. At least I have one more day to enjoy before I return to the halls, the teachers, the classmates. Pretty much life, since I'm just a kid.
Thinking about the cave and the hope that there is a way to open the door has cheered me up a bit, but I still can't go to examine the cave walls itself. My parents seem a bit more protective lately, not letting me out of the house alone. They don't trust me after the incident the last time I was out by myself. When Wakka had carried me home after he, Tidus, and Selphie found me when I never showed up for school, my mother almost had a heart attack.
"Kairi," my mother calls from somewhere in the voice. "Come here for a moment, will you dear? There's someone you have to see."
For a second my heart leaps as I think Sora or Riku but remember it can't be them. Who could it be then? Descending the stairs, I freeze, spotting a man sitting at the kitchen table with my parents.
"Honey," my father says slowly. "This is Detective Cromwell," he introduces. The man at the table nods and takes another sip of his coffee. What is a detective doing here? What could he want?
I watch him warily as I slowly come down the stairs and stand next to the table., noticing the fat folders on the table. They both have names on them. Riku and Sora.
"Hello, kid," he said, removing his hat to reveal salt and peppered hair. "I'm here to ask you what you know about your friends. Just a few questions. That's all." Backing up a bit, I shake my head. I don't want to answer questions. They don't believe me anyways. I'm already finding another way to bring back the boys.
"Kairi, sweetie," my mother says. "Can you just answer a few questions? You can tell the truth. Don't worry about it."
"The truth?" I repeat. "Sora and Riku are stranded in other worlds, Riku behind the door to Kingdom Hearts and Sora trying to find him as he fights off heartless." The detective sighs, rubbing his temple.
"Kid, I know you're scared, but it's okay to tell the truth. Can you stop playing around for a moment to tell me what happened to them?" Playing around? I knew it. They wouldn't believe me even a heartless popped up in the middle of the kitchen table.
"Mother, I'm going out for a moment," I say, moving toward the door. My father steps in front of me, grabbing my upper arm.
"Kairi, can you just hold it for a minute there?" he said, leading me toward the table and pulling out a chair. Now they're against me too? He sits me down in the chair, leaving me to stare at the table, avoiding the detective's gaze.
"Look," Detective Cromwell says, looking irritated and a little bored. "Just tell me what happened. Did the three of you go out in your boats during the storm? Your boats disappeared that night as well. What happened? Were you on the beach and someone approached you?"
"No, I was in my bedroom," I tell him, looking him in the eyes so he can tell I'm not lying. "A heartless came and took my heart. I saw Riku disappear in a dark portal and Sora vanish when a door opened."
"This door," he continues, looking slightly curious now. "Where was it?"
"In a cave," I respond. "It's what everyone calls the Secret Place." My father suddenly puts a hand on my shoulder as if wanting me to be quiet.
"Oh, that place," he laughs, his hand tightening just a bit. "There's nothing there. Just an old cave. Kids used to always dare each other to go in there when I was a child."
Standing up, Detective Cromwell clears his throat as he gathers the files up. "Kairi," he says. "Can you show me this Secret Place?" I hesitate for a second. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the door. My father ends up answering for me.
"Of course, sir," he laughs, heading toward the door. "But trust me, there's nothing there." For a moment, I look at my father bewildered. If he's been in the cave before, does he know?
Nodding, the detective leaves, following my father to his boat. In a moment, we've sailed out to the smaller side island and dock at the beach.
The beach looks no different than before, the sand as light as ever, glinting with microscopic pieces of mica and glass. For a split second, I forget what has happened, believing that it is just a normal day and the others are waiting to play on beach. I can even hear the shouts of Tidus and Wakka sparring in the sand, seeing them in the distance. Then my father speaks up and I remember what I really am here to do.
"The cave is this way, Detective," he says, pointing toward the waterfall. The other man just nods, making his way toward the direction indicated. I fall behind, not wanting to be part of it.
Emerging from the short tunnel into the cave, I scan the walls. The door still just looks like a rock. In fact, it somehow looks even less like a door than before.
"This is it?" Cromwell asks, looking slightly disappointed. "Just a small hole? I don't even see the door you mentioned."
"It's there," I say, pointing to the rock. "Or, it was there." I trace a finger around the barely visible shape of the door. Nothing. Not even a crack. It seems as if every time I look for the door, it becomes harder to find. Is that a sign? Does that mean the door is fading? Closing our world from the other worlds permanently?
"Kairi, you must have just dreamed it," my father says placing a hand on my shoulder. "Even I don't remember a door here from when I used to play in this cave."
Detective Cromwell finishes his inspection of the cave, seeing nothing that captures his interest. With a sigh, he heads out without a word. My father and I don't say anything either until we emerge back by the waterfall.
"Kid," he said. "Nice imagination, but it's a waste of my time. If you really want me to find your friends, come back to me with something not from a fairytale." I'm not too surprised by his reaction, seeing how difficult it is going to be to get someone to take me seriously.
Shaking his head as if he was in disbelief that he squandered time looking for nothing, he heads back to the boat. My father just gives me a sad look and follows, leaving me standing on the beach.
"Kairi, you can stay here for now if you want," he tells me, already pushing the boat out. "Just be home by dinner time." Watching them sail back home, I sit down in the sand, my knees pulled to my chest as I watch the waves. Who needs them. I can find Sora and Riku myself. Still, I don't fully believe in myself.
Chapter 8
I sit in Dr. Mason's empty office quietly, unsure of what is going on. First thing that happened this morning was Mary taking me here. What could be happening? A feeling of apprehension hangs in the air, though I can't make out what is different.
Looking around the room, I can't see anything too different. There is a cart with a thin sheet covering some bulky items on it, but that's it. Though curious, I restrain myself from peeking under the cloth. Still, something about it doesn't seem right.
Checking the clock on the wall, I wonder if Mary got the time right. Doesn't seem like it. Though it has only been about five minutes, time seems to be crawling by. I suddenly feel like I don't want to find out what is going to happen if even the world is delaying its coming.
Before I can get up and dash out of the room, the door opens, making me jump. It is just Dr. Mason. She doesn't seem to notice me, preoccupied in reading from a clipboard in her hand, a thick file tucked under her arm. Sitting down in the chair by the couch I am on, she doesn't look up while she speaks.
"Kairi," she says, proving wrong my theory that she doesn't see me. "Sorry I'm a little late. I was consulting another doctor about your file and lost track of time." About me? I want to ask, but suddenly I feel like I don't want to know the answer.
Flipping a page on the clipboard, she adjusts the small glasses perched on her nose. "Well, my dear," she says. "You had a very interesting recalling of events that had happened during your hypnosis last session." I cringe, not wanting to be reminded. I'm not doing that ever again. The pain and memories of that still linger in my mind after more than a week.
Dr. Mason seems to sense my tension, giving me a small smile of comfort. "Don't worry," she says. "We're finished with that little experiment for now." I don't like the last two words of her sentence. Never again am I letting her try hypnosis a second time.
Reaching over to pull the mystery cart closer, she pulls a small box from under the sheet, still not revealing everything there. I look at it, intrigued. Seeing my curiosity, she says, "It's just another procedure we're going to try, Kairi. Nothing like the hypnosis.
Wary, I don't take my eyes off of the cover as she opens it, pulling out a syringe. Immediately I tense up. Why is that needed? I wasn't misbehaving or anything. I don't need to be tranquilized. I cringe away from her as she draws close.
"Calm down, it's nothing really," she says, taking a cotton ball with alcohol and cleaning a spot on my arm. I feel the pinch of the needle piercing my skin and the strange, cool feeling of the metal point sliding out. So far, I don't feel sleepy. Then what was the injection for in the first place. I get my answer a second after the thought.
My muscles lock, freezing. I can't move. Immediately, I try to struggle, try to scream, but the muscles in my throat seem to have frozen as well. Fear shines in my eyes as I glance at her for an explanation. Did something go wrong? Instead, she acts as if nothing is happening, slowly pushing me on my back, positioning me like a doll to lie on the couch.
"What…is this," I manage to get out despite a thick tongue. It scares me more as she reach under the couch, bringing up leather straps. Proceeding to restrain me, I can't see why she would need them. I can't move anyways. She's supposed to help me! What is she doing?
"It's succinycholine," Dr. Mason says. What the hell is that supposed to be? I'm not a doctor. "It's just a little paralysis so you don't fracture anything." Fracture? Not good. A mask is placed on my mouth, oxygen flowing through it. I cough on the alien air for a moment, begging my hand to move and rip it away. Still no movement.
From the corner of my eye through a tear of helplessness sliding down my face, I see her whip the sheet off the cart. Monitors of some kind with lots of tubes coming from it. Unable to move my neck, I can't see what she is doing. A few more pricks on my arm are felt and I am sure they are the tubes from the equipment on the cart.
A soft whimper escapes my throat as she strokes my hair, moving the strands lying on my forehead. "It'll be okay," she says, but I don't agree. "It won't hurt a bit. ECT will help you and your condition." I am too nervous to think about what ECT stands for, but I doubt it is anything good.
Applying a cool gel on my foreheads, she places a couple small pads against my skin, each one connected to a thin wire coming from the machines. I give a small shudder as she places something in my mouth.
"Delusion disorder from post trauma stress," she says sadly. "Poor girl. This should help you feel better." One more injection into my arm and this time the room starts to fade. Always something to knock me unconscious. Before I blank out, I see her switching on the machines. I know what this is now. One thought passes through my mind before I fall asleep. Electroshock therapy.
A gentle shake rouses me from my sleep as I give a soft groan. Where am I? A slightly familiar face peers down at me. Dr. Mason? Why am I in her office? For some reason, I can't remember falling asleep in here or even coming in here. I'm probably in here for a psychiatric session.
"How are you feeling?" she asks me. I don't answer, only stiffly trying to sit up. My head pounds, and I feel like I am moving through molasses. She smiles, holding out a hand to help me up.
"It's all okay," she tells me, and for a split moment, I believe she is like my mother. No, not my mother. Something in my mind tells me otherwise, warning me. For now, I feel too tired to figure it out.
"Is my session over yet?" I ask. She nods. Good. I have a feeling that I don't want to be in here anymore. I want to get as far away as possible.
"Yes it is, and it went wonderful." Funny how it can be wonderful if I can't even remember it. Struggling to stand up, I end up sitting back down. She only laughs and opens the door to the hallway. Mary comes in, taking my arm and pulling me to my feet.
"I'll see you in a couple of days, alright?" Dr. Mason tells me. To Mary, she says, "She's been good. She deserves a little time in the common room, okay?" Nodding, Mary gives me one of her fake motherly smiles, leading me out. As the door closes behind me, I give a small sigh of relief, unsure why. What was with the room that I couldn't wait to leave? The question lingers until I am in the common room, seated in one of the plastic chairs.
My headache refuses to subside and I put my head down on the table. Not much better. It still feels like everything is spinning. What exactly had happened in that office? Giving a slight groan, I don't notice someone behind me.
"Kairi, good to see you again," says a familiar voice. It's a girl's voice. She gives me a light punch in the shoulder and sits down next to me. "Looks like they're going easier on your special isolation. I'm starting to see you here more often."
I look up dazed, trying to connect a name with the face. Anna. Why am I feeling so strange? "Oh, hi," I say, trying not to put my head back down. Anna notices my strange behavior, looking worried for a moment.
"Are you okay?" she asks. I just mumble a few incoherent words and nod, not sure what to say. She looks at me confused for a moment before her expression changes as if she has seen a ghost.
"Kairi? Did you just have a session?" I nod and her worry increases. "You have Dr. Mason, right?" Another nod. This time, she swears, slamming a fist into the table. The sound hurts my head and the other patience stare, coming out of their own worlds for just a second.
"I can't believe she did that!" Anna rages. I pull back a little bit. She grabs my shoulders giving me a shake as I look startled. "Snap out of it now," she demands. Snap out of what? What did Dr. mason do to me? She answers my question with another swear word. "ECT, do you know what that is? Electroshock therapy."
It takes me a moment to process the words, trying to piece the memories of the last maybe half and hour. Machines. Falling asleep. Did something happen to me that I didn't know?
Anna sighs, looking a little defeated. "You must be here on delusions, huh," she says. Delusions. That was something I remember Dr. Mason saying. Without waiting for an answer, she continues, "ECT is sometimes used for delusions. I've had it myself."
"For delusions?" I ask. I suddenly notice that I've never asked what she was in Cypress Grove for. Then again, she told me not to ask.
"For depression," she tells me. "They use ECT on depression sometimes too. The extreme cases. I've tried killing myself before. The last time I set my house on fire and nearly killed my family too."
I look startled, unsure of what to say. She doesn't strike me as someone with depression. Well, maybe a little. She's probably on medications, so I've never actually seen her real self. The thought of that scares me a little. I don't actually know my friend here.
"Dr. Mason can go to hell," she grumbles. "I had her when I first came here. I never want to see that woman again." Is Dr. Mason that bad? I sense something else that just some bad sessions. What is between them?
Anna grabs my arm, the same warning look she had when she told me not to forget who I was. "Don't let her get to you again," she says almost threateningly. "Find a way to get away from her sessions. I've seen them drive people crazy."
Is she crazy? I don't fully believe that there was ECT involved. I probably just fell asleep while Dr. Mason was talking. I don't want to believe. I feel a little tired, that's all. And my headache can be just a cold.
Pulling my arm out of her grip, I tell her, "I don't really think they'd use ECT. I'm just getting sick." She looks like she is about to strangle me to make me understand. But I do understand. She has a problem with Dr. Mason. I have to admit the doctor isn't my most favorite person in the world, but she isn't as bad as Mary or some of the others around here. She must be just making the ECT up. I can't believe something like that could happen to me.
"Tired? Headaches? Those are some of the drawbacks of the treatments. But if you want to be a vegetable, fine with me," Anna says angrily. "I got away from it, but I've seen what it can do. It'll make you forget. You can't forget, remember?" She looks like the one with delusion. At the moment I want to forget her. I don't know why I'm thinking like this. I just am.
Sighing in frustration, she abruptly stands, knocking back her chair as she storms out of the room wordlessly. I'm still a little confused at what is happening, finding everything hard to comprehend. Why would she believe I've had ECT?
Finding that my head is still pounding, I get up, slowly, muscles still a little stiff as I look for Mary. I want to go back to my room now. Maybe a nap will help me understand what is going on. Why Anna was so mad.
"Sleepy?" Mary asks, leading me toward the door. I nod. For once, I am glad to follow what she wants as I am returned to my room. She pats my head like I am a dog before leaving.
Practically collapsing onto my bed, I curl up under my sheets. I just need a little rest to clear my head. I promise to myself that next time I see Anna, I'll try to apologize for whatever I've done. I don't know what it is, but I don't want to lose a friend. I can't afford to. I've already lost too many.
Shutting my eyes, I urge the headache to go away, and with it the cloud covering my mind, making everything foggy. I will it to take the confusion away. Sleep seems to be the only thing that comforts me, letting me drift away from everything. Trying to relax my tense muscles, I feel something in my mind trying to reach out, to remind me of something, but before it reaches me, I fall asleep and it withdraws back into the fog.
Author's notes: Okay, I lied, I'm not going to be able to update every week. But I'll try to update way more often! I've just been…preoccupied with a lot of stuff lately. A lot of things on my mind. Don't worry, I'm not leaving this story. It'll just take a little longer for each chapter to come out. For some reason, I don't really how this chapter ends. It seems a little confusing. Well, Kairi's confused, so maybe that's why, but something about it doesn't make sense. That or I'm thinking too much.
Oh, and except for this chapter, did anyone notice each chapter was longer than the one before? Hm…not sure how that happened. Oh well. This chapter breaks the trend. Otherwise I'd have really, really long chapters after a while.
October Breeze Aww, thanks. That's so nice! As I've already said, I'll try to update more, but lately things have been weird and I never get around to writing, but I'll try!
Kintora Yeah, I didn't like the ship that much either. My ship left from Los Angeles and stopped at San Diego, Catalina Island, and Enseñ ada, Mexico. Your question? Well, probably not in this story since they're away and as a challenge I'm trying to see if I can stick to the game as much as possible, but that's only a probably!
Cold-Blade hehe, I think trying to think of what to write next is what's going to put me in the mental hospital.
HonoIKatana Thanks! That's so nice of you!
Shady Fetish Yeah, actually Anna sounds like a good friend wherever you are. Or maybe that's just my opinion…
Nanashi I don't talk that much! Okay, maybe I do…
Eki Okay…get away from the Final Fantasy X-2 already! If you mention duck soup one more time, I'm going to send YOU to a mental hospital!
fLiKeriNg haLo hey! A new person to say hi to! waves
Erm…did I miss anyone? Well, if I did, sorry! Okay, I promise I'll try harder to get the next chapter out sooner, and I hope this one still meets expectations. This chapter's a little rushed because I was feeling bad for not updating, so sorry if there's any typos and mistakes. Come on, anyone want to flame? I know there's got to be someone out there who would! I'm not perfect! And now I feel sort of stupid for begging for flames…