It was an eerie feeling, Ginny reflected later on, when you miss four days of your life and find that virtually nothing has changed.
Coming back to Gryffindor Tower had been rather uneventful, as most Gryffindors had gone to sleep. The Quidditch Team was there to welcome her, and she and her four roommates stayed up all night so that she could catch up with what she had missed. Jane, Agnes Greene and Cathy Ernest did a recap of what had taken place when Ginny was brought to the hospital wing—Malfoy getting detention and Professor McGonagall deducting fifty points from Slytherin, the Gryffindor Quidditch Team promising retaliation, Colin Creevey's mouse running amok when he attempted to Vanish it in Transfiguration, the insane amount of homework given to them by Professor Snape for Potions. There was nothing special about them all, and as for Malfoy's detention, it wasn't something new, as Hermione had told her all about it.
After discussing Kneazles with Hagrid in Care of Magical Creatures on Wednesday morning, Ginny, Agnes and Cathy met Jane (who was instead taking Muggle Studies) in the Great Hall for lunch.
Ginny found herself sitting where she had a plain view of the Ravenclaw table—something she hadn't been able to do since the beginning of the school year. Accidental, Ginny thought. Purely accidental.
"I don't believe it," Jane was saying. "That cat of Hermione Granger's? A Kneazle?"
"Ginny was just telling us," Agnes said. "Right, Ginny?"
Ginny tore her eyes off a dark-haired sixth-year boy, who was sitting with his fellow Ravenclaws with his back on her. "No, not a Kneazle," she said, as though interested. "A half-Kneazle. Funny I never noticed. I always thought Crookshanks was a bit too smart..."
Ginny took a chicken leg from the huge bowl in front of her. As she did, her eyes traveled onto the Ravenclaw table again, where a dark-haired girl sat beside the boy Ginny had been watching earlier. The boy took one look at the girl and grinned, putting an arm around her waist.
"You said it likes chasing gnomes in your garden," Cathy said. "Does he eat them?"
"Oh no," Ginny said offhandedly, forking her potatoes a tad too savagely. "He just likes killing them."
"Yeah?"
"Well, no, not really..."
A scowl had begun to form on Ginny's forehead as the Ravenclaw girl playfully slapped the boy's shoulder.
"Maybe he just finds them cute," Agnes suggested.
"Nah," said Ginny, still watching the Ravenclaw table. "They're the ugliest creatures on the planet."
It was a while before Ginny noticed that her three friends had been staring at her as though she had sprouted whiskers.
"What?"
Jane looked at Ginny's plate. "Er—the chicken's all fried, you know."
Ginny raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, so?"
"Well," Jane went on, "there's no need to act as if you're still killing it."
Ginny looked at her chicken leg. It was ripped to shreds—by herself, obviously.
"Sorry," Ginny muttered. "You just—oh, you just can't eat properly when two people do gag-worthy things in front of you!" she finished in frustration.
Agnes and Cathy, who were sitting across Ginny and Jane, looked at each other knowingly, and then turned around in unison to find the sixth-year boy whispering something to the girl intimately so that his lips were almost touching her ear.
"Not him again," Jane groaned. "We've settled this since fourth-year, Ginny—Michael Corner's an utter git in the first place, we've known it all along—"
"No, Jane," said Cathy reproachfully, turning back to Jane. "It's really difficult, you see, if you've been going out with a boy for more than a year and he suddenly gets mad at you for winning against his house."
"And then he goes off with Cho Chang whom we all know is everybody's dream girl," Agnes added. "Seems like he had the eyes for her ever since."
"Well, it's no reason to be miserable," Jane told Ginny. "It shouldn't be affecting you at all."
Ginny rolled her eyes at the three girls. "Honestly, why are we talking about this?"
"Yeah, who started it anyway?" Jane said, grinning at Ginny.
Ginny decided not to push it; instead, she took a huge bite of what was left of her chicken, as though to bite back what she wanted to say. She kept her eyes on Michael and Cho, though, daring them to turn around and see her. But if they can only see me unaffected by all this....
Out of the corner of her eye, Ginny saw Ron and Hermione stand up together and leave the Great Hall. It was a common sight already to see the two of them doing Prefect duties together, with Hermione usually having to haul Ron all the way. Looking back at the seats they left, however, Ginny saw that Harry was left alone, staring into empty space.
Ginny watched as Harry drag his spoon across his plate, bring his food into his mouth, and chew. His every motion seemed calculated—every movement of his jaw, every dart of his eyes around him. He did it at such a slow pace that Ginny seemed to look at him through a sort of haze, as though he was in another world. And, Ginny thought, he probably was.
Suddenly, Harry's jaw clenched as he stopped chewing—and Ginny knew he was going to look at her next as though he felt her eyes on him. Ginny, however, didn't avert her gaze—she met his eyes, and smiled.
Harry looked mildly surprised. But then, after a moment, he returned her smile—a somewhat strained smile; not exactly because of her but because of whatever was in his thoughts before he caught her looking at him.
As if on cue, they both looked back onto their plates at the same time.
"...Still playing against Slytherin, aren't you?"
"What?" Ginny asked. "Oh...of course! My head's all fixed. It's not as bad as you think."
"A Bludger on the head and four days of unconsciousness isn't so bad?" Jane said indignantly.
Ginny started to smile. "At least I'll still get to play."
Ginny was to learn later, after classes, just how bad her injury really was.
"Are you sure you'll be able to fly now?" Katie asked Ginny that afternoon in the Quidditch pitch.
Ginny knew that she couldn't answer otherwise; there was no reserve Chaser, after all. She answered truthfully, anyway. "Very sure."
Ron had already taken his place at the goal posts. Andrew and Jack, meanwhile, released the two Bludgers from the crate holding the Quidditch balls. Ginny stared after them as they flew in zigzags around the pitch. She hadn't known just how dangerous they were, not until after she spent those four days in the hospital wing.
Beside Ginny, Harry took the Snitch from the crate.
"Ready, Harry?" asked Katie.
Harry gave a curt nod.
Ginny watched, amused, as the Snitch struggled in Harry's fist for a moment—and then took off when Harry opened his palms. He waited a moment as the Snitch disappeared from view.
"I'm off," said Harry, almost to himself. Then, he hopped on his Firebolt—and grinned, and then flew after the Snitch.
Katie had taken hold of the Quaffle. "Ginny—Natalie—let's go."
Ginny followed Natalie as she zoomed into the middle of the pitch. Here we go, Ginny thought, bliss overcoming her again. Right where I belong.
But just as Ginny soared into the air, an odd thing happened—pain shot through the back of her head, continuing to her eyes—
"Ouch!" Ginny gasped, squeezing her eyes shut, forcing the pain to recede. Her broom suddenly dipped downwards.
"Ginny!"
Ginny opened her eyes and saw that she was rapidly descending; she pulled up at the last minute. The sudden change in acceleration hurt her head again.
"Ginny!"
Ginny saw Katie above her. She slowed down a bit so that Katie could release the Quaffle to her. But Ginny suddenly saw two Katies—two Quaffles—
Ginny closed her eyes again and shook her head quickly. When she looked again, the Quaffle was right above her. She grabbed it with her right hand—but pain took hold of her head again, and she dropped the Quaffle.
"Damn it!" Ginny cried. She never dropped a Quaffle in practices before.
Ginny heard Katie whistle and head downwards. Ginny and the rest of the players followed her lead.
"Are you okay, Ginny?" asked Natalie, squinting at her.
Ginny landed carefully on the ground. "Y-yes, it's just..."
"You were dipping downwards, I saw it!" Ron yelled when he and Harry approached them. "What's going on?"
"It's just—my head. My eyes. I—I guess it's just me flying after—after the Bludger attack—"
"What's it like?" Jack asked.
Ginny inwardly sighed—did she really have to explain it all? "There's a—a little pain here." She touched the back of her head.
"Like it's still being hit," Harry finished for her quietly.
"Well—yeah."
"And your eyes?"
Ginny looked at Harry—he was watching her intently, his face void of expression. "I get double vision...they hurt a bit, yeah..."
"Can you still fly?" Katie asked.
Ginny felt her heart skip a beat. Surely they wouldn't think of not letting her play now, would they? "Of course!" she said, more forcefully than she had intended. "It's just my first time in the air after sleeping for four days straight—I'll get the hand of it with practice, I promise!"
Ginny realized that she had been speaking too quickly that she sounded almost desperate. They can't not let me fly! she thought, looking at the disbelieving faces around her.
"Fine then," Katie said. "We'll try it again. Ginny—try not to dip down, okay?"
Once they were up in the air again, Ginny resolved not to close her eyes no matter what pain she might feel.
She found it difficult. Whenever she accelerated, her head acted up again; her eyes would blur in the most crucial moments.
Katie passed the Quaffle to Ginny once more. Ginny caught it without any problem. She zoomed towards Ron's end of the pitch—but just as she was about to toss the Quaffle to Natalie, her vision blurred again. She saw two Natalies—and not knowing which was the real one, Ginny ended up throwing the Quaffle a little too far to the left.
They tried again. Katie passed the Quaffle to Ginny; Ginny fumbled with it a bit. She thought of flying closer to Natalie, but just as she accelerated, the pain in her head caused her to slow down—and Natalie to crash onto her. Ginny hurtled off, almost crashing with Andrew, steadying herself only to find that Katie and Natalie were already racing towards Ron without her.
More errors like these occurred. The Chasers' planned and practiced passing suffered greatly when Ginny wasn't able to execute her moves properly. After half an hour, Katie called for timeout.
Katie immediately turned to her. "Ginny," she said, almost shouting, "we can't have that kind of game on Saturday!"
"I'm working on it, I swear!" Ginny insisted. "If this headache would just come off—"
"You almost fell off again," Ron said. "Ginny, if you really can't play—"
"I can!" Ginny yelled at her brother's face. "Nobody can replace me..."
Katie looked at Ginny thoughtfully. "That Weston guy in your year, Natalie," she finally said. "He was quite good during the tryouts—he just didn't make it in the second one—"
Ginny felt her heart sink to her stomach. "Katie—"
"It is dangerous for you to fly," Andrew said helpfully.
Jack nodded. "It's scary, looking at you almost falling down again—"
"I'm going to kill Malfoy," Ginny said through gritted teeth. Then, more loudly, she said, "Weston doesn't know our techniques, Katie—we've planned our moves for ages."
"Executing it is another thing," said Katie.
Ginny stared at her desperately, extremely frustrated. What they were asking is impossible. It would kill her not to play. "You're not serious about replacing me two days before the match, are you?"
Katie pursed her lips. "If you fall off again..."
"I'm not going to fall off," Ginny said. "Katie—please."
Ginny looked at the rest of the team's faces. They stared back. It must be her imagination, but it seemed to her that they all looked back doubtfully, as though they all didn't want her to play.
Ginny's heart that had been in the pit of her stomach started to rise to her throat.
"I want to play," Ginny said, almost inaudibly. "I'll do all that I can to fix this."
There was a moment of silence. All of them seemed to be internally debating on what to do with her. And then—
"Let her stay."
Ginny looked up in surprise—Harry, with his arms folded on his chest, was staring resolutely at Katie.
Katie raised an eyebrow at him.
"She's right," Harry went on quietly. "You can't replace her, she knows the Chasers' moves already, and those moves are made partly because of her own techniques. You know that."
Katie pursed her lips once again. "But she could—"
"I won't fall," Ginny said, more strongly, now that someone was backing her up. "And I'll really work on this."
"Ginny—" Ron protested.
"I'm not a baby, Ron," Ginny growled.
Ron did not say anything.
Ginny waited for Katie's verdict. She glanced at Harry; she saw him give her the vaguest of smiles.
"Well...you have a lot to practice on, Ginny, if that head of yours still acts up when you're flying..."
"I don't care," Ginny said quickly. Her spirits started to rise.
"Well...all right. I'm letting you stay."
Ginny broke into a grin. She wanted to hug Katie, but the solemn atmosphere that had fallen on them just a while ago made the idea seem awkward.
"Thank you," she said instead.
"No problem. I guess we'd better start again..."
The practice was far from satisfactory. Ginny hated herself for having the sudden headaches and double vision—she made a mental note to ask Madam Pomfrey if there was any remedy for it. But the desire to prove herself spurred her on, coupled with her natural desire of flying. She wasn't going to let the team, and herself, down.
Another half an hour later of practice passed until Katie called it a day. The sun had already begun to set when the team started packing up.
Ginny watched as Andrew and Jack wrestled with the Bludgers and put them back into the crate.
"Here," Harry said beside Ginny. He handed Jack the Snitch, which Jack put into the crate.
Just as Harry was about to walk back to the castle, Ginny called, "Hey."
Harry whirled around to face her. He smiled again at her, that little, almost painful smile.
"Thanks for backing me up."
Harry's smile widened, just a little bit. He shrugged. "Just watching the team win can be frustrating."
Ginny grinned. Of course, Harry knew that well, as she took his place as Seeker just last year when he was banned. "Yeah, I know..."
"And, well..." Harry started to grin. "We can't crush Slytherin without you."
Ginny let out a laugh. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."
Harry nodded. Then he turned around to follow Ron back to the castle.
Ginny was the last to go back.
Ginny thought about Harry before she slept night. It was like regressing to her first year, when she had thought of every little brush in corridors and every smile Harry had given her. Recollecting those days of hopelessly crushing on Harry Potter often brought a smile to Ginny's face nowadays.
But her thoughts of Harry were different tonight. She thought of Harry's angry countenance last Saturday when she had been late. She thought of his expressionless face in the hospital wing when he told her that she was hit on the head. She thought of him looking away—embarrassed, perhaps—when Ron teased the two of them.
Then, she thought of the small smile he had given her in the Great Hall during lunch, the grin that he had when he chased after the Snitch, and the grin that had brightened his face, even for a fleeting moment, when she thanked him after Quidditch practice. So many faces, so unpredictable. And yet, with what Harry was going through, it was no question why he was like that.
It was the last thought in Ginny's mind as she fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep.
Notes: Many, MANY thanks to those who have reviewed! *waves* And to Mea and Jess, my beloved betas -- couldn't have done it without your help. The names of Ginny's roommates are lifted from the heroines of my favorite authors -- yep, you guessed right, the Brontë sisters. :-)