Sirius' Choice

Chapter Eleven: Shine Until Tomorrow

Whimsical Firefly

Author's Note: This is another chapter that carries the mixed timeline all the way through. So remember… italics is equivalent to what happened the first time round, normal is equivalent to this time around.

Many thanks to James Milamber for his wonderful editing job.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all recognizable characters are property of J.K. Rowling

Sirius watched with sad eyes as the rain poured down, and lightning streaked through the skies. The Quidditch pitch was flooded, and at least five new streams had been created to deal with the downpour. Sirius stood at the window of the Owlery and simply watched it fall, enjoying the clean scent of the rain.

NEWTS had been and gone, and school would be finishing so soon that it seemed surreal. Seven years at Hogwarts, and what had it come to? In his mind some of the most important lessons he had learned were out of the classroom, on the Quidditch pitch and in the holidays with his friends. Lessons of honour, bravery, loyalty.

Everything that made him a true Gryffindor, and not a Slytherin like the rest of his family.

His journey to the Owlery had actually come with a purpose. Reaching into his robes he drew out a parchment, and unrolled it slowly. He knew the words from memory now. A letter to Edana, written after she died.

Leaning his tall and lanky frame out of the window, he held the parchment flat in the rain, and watched as the ink blurred and spread over the page, and eventually disappeared altogether.

Sirius watched the dripping parchment with a grim satisfaction. A love letter to Edana. He had wanted to burn it, but had then decided that this was the easier of the two alternatives.

A soft click on the pavement in front of him alerted himself to company. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?" The voice was cool, feminine and far too familiar for Sirius' liking.

"Why Amanda, how are you? I myself was well until you showed up," he said in a bitter tone. Sirius watched the flash of hurt within her blue eyes with satisfaction. "Perhaps the question should be, 'what are you doing here?'. I somehow doubt you intended to owl a letter."

Amanda stiffened slightly. "The others were worried about your whereabouts, although personally I don't know why they simply didn't start celebrating." The large blue eyes burned with anger, and something Sirius couldn't identify. "I volunteered to come up here and look for you."

Sirius nodded mockingly, and then remembered his damp parchment. Casting a quick charm to dry it off he then looked back up at her. "How self-sacrificing. You can now go back and tell them that you found me, and I will be down later." When she appeared to hesitate, Sirius drew himself up to full height. "Amanda, just go," he ordered, gray eyes blazing.

Drawing herself up to full height, she glared at him. "Don't worry, I'm going. I'll be glad to." With that, she turned abruptly and ran down the stairs.

Sirius watched her depart with little guilt. A tiny part of himself chided, 'you could have been nicer, you know. She was only checking. Besides, when you broke up with her you had promised…' Swearing at the minute voice, Sirius looked at the parchment in his hands and then crumpled it up and threw it out the window.

He stood still for a few moments, and then turned to exit the same way that Amanda had gone two minutes earlier.

Tess swayed slightly, and Remus caught her by the shoulders and steadied her. Unused to the amount of Firewhiskey that James and Sirius had procured, she was now well and truly schnackered. He watched as James stood up on a tabletop, and raised his glass in the air.

"My friends!" said James, who sounded only slightly drunk. "Tomorrow we graduate, hopefully with no memory at all of tonight." The assorted Gryffindors in the room laughed and cheered at the statement and raised their glasses in turn. "We've spent nearly seven years in this place, and I have to say that the best lessons that I've learned have not been thanks to the teachers, but rather amongst you all. My friends."

James paused, and when Remus looked around he saw through a bleary haze that some of his fellow students were looking slightly misty eyed. "We've taught each other many hexes, and practiced on each other too," continued James

Someone in the back called out, "We've also practiced on the Slytherins!" Another chuckle spread throughout the room, and James nodded gravely. "Them too."

"We've learnt teamwork on the Quidditch pitch and against the Slytherins in the hall. We have loved, lived, breathed, slept, eaten, completed last minute assessments one way or another, and even danced in this castle for the past seven years."

Remus looked up at James and saw that this James' eyes looking overly bright. James voice was soft as he finished his speech. "For that, I thank you all. I hope you continue to remain friends outside Hogwarts, even if our interests may vary." Raising a muscled arm, he held up his glass. "Cheers, everyone!"

The gesture was echoed by everyone in the room, and Remus felt a slight twisting in his stomach. When they left… what would happen? How many of his friends would fall to Voldemort one way or another? Everything was so topsy-turvy, he wished there was a way of just making it safe, and certain.

Sirius held up his glass and downed it's contents. Feeling someone move beside him, he moved over slightly to the left to make room for them. Although James' speech had been moving, he was unmoved to the extreme. He sat still and silent as Lily got up to make her speech and ignored her. What did she know anyway, he thought as he snorted derisively at her speech about standards and love, and dropping them.

Or maybe it was about keeping them.

No matter. The words about true love were meaningless as they swept over him, leaving no evidence of their passing. Swearing, he pushed himself up and off the seat he was sitting on. Not doing anything had never suited him, and the entire graduation halo had been soured for him since Edana's death. Edana's betrayal, his mind whispered.

Slipping unnoticed out of their door, he raced down the stairways to the Room of Requirement. People had attempted to talk to him about Edana since she was murdered (or should that be suicided?), but he found the entire thing completely pointless. What was there to talk about? The only thing that helped him to deal with it was what he was going to do now.

Entering the room, he found an empty classroom. Transfiguring the desks, he whispered 'vividus oppognatus'. The desks began to move towards him slowly.

Flicking his wand in a joined five star movement, the desks began to fire spells at him. They were only basic attack spells, as he hadn't worked out how to increase the moving dummies spell repartee, but they were nonetheless effective if he was hit by five stunners at once.

The thing about the skill practice as he was beginning to call it, was that it distracted him. His mind was taken up by dodging, attacking, defending, that his mind was unable to think about anything. Least of all Edana.

Tess couldn't understand why Remus thought that she was drunk. She wasn't, of that she was quite certain. Sure, the room seemed to spin slightly every now and then, but the things that mattered were still ferpectly… perfectly in focus.

Alright, maybe she was slightly tipsy. But still, she knew exactly what she was doing. Giving a quick smile at Amanda who was warily approaching Sirius, she took Remus' hand and began to lead him out of the Common Room.

"Um… Tess? Where are we going?" questioned Remus in her ear.

Tess gave him a look that was pure wide-eyed innocence. "We're going for a walk."

Remus nodded, not looking at all reassured. However, he continued to follow Tess through the empty halls of Hogwarts. Possibly because he wanted to go with her. Possibly because he was concerned that she was too drunk. Possibly because he was sick of the party and this was the best alternative.

It didn't really matter to Tess, so long as he continued to follow her.

In no time at all, they were outside Hogwarts, standing near the lake. It was here that Tess stopped Remus and stood still. Remus was before her, a tall slim figure, with golden eyes that seemed to glow despite the darkness. "So…" she heard him whisper into the darkness with a slight grin that showed in the light of the new moon.

Tess opened her mouth to say something. But what was it that she had meant to say? It was…there were many things she wanted to say, but she wasn't sure how to say any of them. So, she took the easier of the two options, and simply reached up and kissed him.

Feeling Remus relax and put his arms around her to draw her closer she relaxed into his touch.

Remus reached out and drew her closer to him, and he felt her body relax into his. Careful, he cautioned himself. She's drunk, she might try and take this further than she really wants too.

When her hands reached up and began to undo his buttons, he wasn't able to stop her though. Instead he took small hands into his and drew her closer, skin touching skin. As he did so, a burning at his chest made him recoil in pain. Looking down, he saw a raised welt of skin, red and painful.

Dismayed, he looked at Tess, whose robes had fallen of her shoulders enough to reveal a small silver ornament hanging around her throat.

"Remus… are you okay?" she asked hesitantly. Remus looked at her uncomprehendingly.

"Where did you get that?" his voice sounding harsher than he'd meant it to be.

Tess looked at him with puzzled violet eyes. "It was Edana's silver dagger. She knew I liked it, and gave it to me a few days before… everything happened. Sometimes I think she planned her death."

Remus face was still closed. "How could she have planned to die like that?" a small shake appeared in his voice, that revealed how he felt about that issue.

Tess shrugged. "I don't know. But sometimes I think… she did. In any case, it's a canny little dagger. I wasn't going to wear it, but then…" Tess took a deep breath. "I can't help but remembering all the good things. So I wear it now."

Pleading violet eyes looked up at Remus, and Remus felt rather than saw her move closer to him to resume where they had left off. He backed away, feeling the burning heat that the silver dagger was radiating.

"Tess, I have to go," he mumbled, before moving out from under her and heading towards the castle. He could feel curious eyes boring into his back but she didn't follow him. Just great Remus, he berated himself. She'll know now. And she won't even want to look at you when she finds out you're a werewolf.

Running a frustrated hand through messy light brown hair he walked as a man condemned back up to the Gryffindor common room.

Lily sat in James' lap running her hand through his hair, which was consequently standing up on ends even more so than usual. The party was winding down around them, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Amanda and Sirius talking in hushed tones. At least they didn't seem to be fighting.

She pointed the two out to James who turned to look, nuzzling her shoulder in the process. "I'm glad," he said in her ear simply. "It was strange when they were on the outs with each other." With a sly glance at Lily he added, "And they make such a good couple."

Lily shot a withering look at him. "As good as Edana and Sirius?"

Pausing before answering, he said "Maybe, maybe not. But the fact remains that Amanda is here and Edana is not." Judging by the outraged look on Lily's face he had said the wrong thing, and hastily began to apologize and justify his statement.

"Are you saying that if I was to die," she ignored the hasty denials of such a thing ever happening, and the way James arms tightened convulsively around her waist as though to prevent any harm from ever happening, "you'd simply go for the next available female?"

James burrowed his head into the crook of her neck. "Never." It was a simply statement, but so laced with emotion that she believed him.

A little voice in the back of James' head urged him to propose, because it was definitely the time to do so now. Swallowing desperately, he lifted his head up from the crook of Lily's neck and turned her on his lap so he was looking into her brilliant green eyes. "Lily?" he asked softly. "Marry me?"

Lily's eyes never moved from him. They showed bewilderment, shock, and something that James was unable to decipher. She didn't answer, and eventually James looked away to hide the disappointment and hurt in his eyes.

He felt soft lips press into his cheeks, and Lily's warm weight get off his lap. "I'll tell you when you're sober, James," came her soft voice. James nodded and didn't look up as he heard her footfalls go up the stairs towards the girl's dormitory.

He was uncertain how long he sat there until he heard the portrait door swing open to reveal a woebegone Remus. Remus looked around the room with deadened eyes, which came to rest on James. "Where's Lily?" he asked in what was almost a curious tone.

"I really don't want to talk about it Moony," sighed James. "Suffice to say, I think I just got rejected."

Moony raised his eyebrows in understanding and nodded slightly. "Ouch."

"Yeah.," said James. "Where's Tess?"

Remus covered his face with his hands, and James nodded in understanding.

James wrapped an arm around Lily's waist discreetly. "Where's Tess?" he enquired to his friend.

Remus blushed slightly. "She's…on her way up, I think."

James and Lily exchanged a knowing look, and Remus blushed harder. He was spared by any embarrassing questions as the portrait swung open to reveal Tess stepping through cautiously. Spotting her friends, she came over to them, her face lit with a mischievous grin.

"The party seems to have ended, then?" she asked, still grinning. "What say we continue it on the roof?"

James and Remus exchanged interested glances, whilst Lily shrieked. "Tess! We can't go up there, besides, the roof is still wet, we'll fall!'

Tess humoured Lily with an amused glance. "We can get up there easy enough. Besides, it's stopped raining. As for it being slippery because it's wet… are you a witch or not?"

Lily paused and then broke out in peals of laughter. "I suppose I forgot momentarily." James called over Sirius and Amanda and together they left the common room to search out the roof.

James Milton wished he could close his weary eyes, or rub them. He had been attempting to break the bloody bonds in these thrice damned ropes for a week now. Surely because the…girl… hadn't been aware of the magical world she wouldn't have chosen these bonds on purpose?

A lucky accident for her, he thought bitterly as he followed behind her, a dark cloak wrapped around him to conceal his bound hands.

"Where are we going now?" he enquired politely to the small figure in front of him. She looked behind her, blue eyes flashing.

"Where do you think we are going, murderer?"

James eyes burned in response. "I think I don't know we're going, so I asked. And I also think it's not the best idea to go around calling me 'murderer' when you wish to remain inconspicuous."

A defiant shake of her wealth of blonde hair was the only answer that he received, and signing, he resigned himself to going back to breaking the bonds in the rope. One stupid mistake. One stupid lapse in his concentration whilst he had talked to the dead man, and where had it gotten him?

Trailing behind a blonde, extremely attractive shrew, who would no doubt rather have him drawn and quartered than look at him. Such is life.

James Milton followed behind the slight blonde woman, blue eyes alert, flickering in every direction. The woman herself walked carefully as well, and if one had been paying attention they would have seen a slight bulge hear her right hip where a gun was concealed.

"Carefully, they'll know we know they're on our trail now. The last thing we need you to do is destroy the glamour I created for you."

"I know," she hissed into the darkness. "Now shush!"

In the brief amount of time it took for the small exchange between the two, three wizards had formed a triangle around them in the darkness. The only warning James had was the scratching of one of the wizard's boots on the gravel.

Turning sharply blue flame shot towards the noise, and as he did, the other two attacked as well. The scuffle (such as it was) lasted only moments. The other two wizards were left with their fallen comrade, and James grabbed the woman's hand and ran.

It was only when he stopped that he realised that his companion was crying softly. "What is it?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

"Why did you… did they…why did you kill them?" she eventually asked.

Of all the things he had been expecting, this was not it. "Pardon?"

"Why did you kill them? Why didn't you just knock them unconscious?"

James Milton rubbed an exasperated hand up against his eye. "Because when it's either them or me, or even them or you, I will do everything in my power to make sure that they are the ones who die. As to why I didn't simply knock them out…they'd still come after us once they came to. The only way you can deal with it is to kill them."

The blonde woman's face had been horrified as he spoke, and once he had finished a sob wracked her body.

Extending unbound arms towards her, he moved to embrace her. "Andrea, I'm sorry, it's just…"

She recoiled from his touch. "Don't you come near me, murderer. You murdered again tonight and you didn't even feel the slightest bit of remorse did you? You don't see them as people, they're just expendable 'things'. My aunt, my uncle, them… none of them matter to you."

Watery blue eyes looked up at him, and then she turned and ran. Wondering why on earth he bothered, James broke into a run and followed.

Lily turned in her bed and groaned slightly. It was her last night ever at Hogwarts, but could she sleep?

No.

She blamed James, as well. James bloody Potter. It had been so romantic as they had sat there, and then all of a sudden he seemed to feel a desperate need to pop the question.

It didn't mean anything, he was drunk, he didn't mean anything, he was drunk, none of that meant anything, he was drunk…

But what if I wanted it to mean something? She argued back. No use, she told herself wearily. It didn't mean anything.

The question that everyone had been asking was what were they going to do after graduation. Her reply wasn't as simple: she didn't know. She had sent applications away for jobs with the ministry and with auror training… and she had also sent an application in for an intensive training course in charms.

It was the wizarding equivalent of university, and if she got in, then for a year she would learn about charms. Most importantly however, she would learn charm-making, which from there could be extended to other spells and forms of magic.

She sighed and turned over on her left side. No difference. Tired of not being able to do anything, she grabbed her wand and performed a drowsiness charm on herself.

Closing her eyes as she felt all her muscles relax and her mind quiet as a result of the charm, Lily Evans finally turned over and went to sleep.

Sirius' laughed as he flew onto the roof. They'd all been flying calmly until James had challenged him to a race. Remus had called the mark, and they had gone…and he had won.

James arrived a fraction behind him. "This proves nothing Padfoot!" he declared, laughing nearly as much as Sirius' himself.

Amanda, Lily, Tess, Remus and an excitable Peter whom they had run into in the hallways came behind and landed gracefully (or in Peter's case: not so gracefully) on the rooftop.

"Butterbeer for everyone," proclaimed Amanda with a grin. Sirius opened his mouth to protest but she beat him to it. "No, you've had more than enough Firewhiskey."

Sirius closed his mouth again and took a bottle of butterbeer.

The group settled on the roof top, and for a long while, nothing at all was said. Everyone appeared content to gaze at the few stars that could be seen between the faint cloud cover.

It was Remus who broke the silence. "This is it. Isn't it?"

Murmured assent greeted him throughout the small group gathered on the rooftop, and from nowhere a cool breeze came up, bringing with it the clean smell that so often follows rain.

"What's going to happen to us?" asked Peter into the silence. "It's easy to be friends at school, we see each other every day." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "It'll be harder out of school."

Remus nodded slowly in agreement, but Sirius just laughed. "Are you saying we can't do it, Petey?" he questioned. "Maybe it will be harder, maybe it won't. Think about it. James and I -"

"And me!" interjected Amanda.

"And you," agreed Sirius. "Are all going to be together in Auror training. Tess is working at a Gringotts representative in the Ministry, which is where you'll be working Peter. Remus… have you found anything yet, Moony?"

Remus swallowed slightly. "No, not yet."

Sirius nodded and patted him on the shoulder in understanding. "You will. The wonderful Lily will be doing her charms course in Dallion University, but as she'll still be seeing James, we'll be seeing a fair bit of her as well."

This was where Lily cleared her throat. "Um, actually, I'll be doing more than seeing him." Amused emerald eyes ignored the wolf-whistles and cat-calls that greeted that statement. Extending a delicate ivory hand, she spread her fingers to demonstrate the diamond glittering on her ring finger.

Tess was the first to react. "Lily! I can't believe you're getting married! That's so…"

"Unbelievable," finished Amanda with a laugh. "Especially taking into consideration your fervent declarations of utmost hatred and wrath for this 'idiot' that you'd been stuck sharing the honour of being a Head with."

Lily laughed bashfully. "Well, he is an idiot. That much hasn't changed."

"Hey!" exclaimed James with a hurt expression on his face. Lily grinned impishly up at him and kissed his cheek.

After that, the ice appeared to be broken, and there was much laughter and sharing of memories. Comments would often start off with "Oh, do you remember when…" or "Wasn't it funny when…". James felt Lily relax back onto his chest, and draped an arm around her waist.

The night seemed endless, filled with a haze of butterbeer, and laughter, and tinged with a bit of sadness. No time at all seemed to have gone by when the sun began to rise over the lake, casting bright light into their tired eyes. "Shine until tomorrow…" whispered Lily drowsily.

"But it is tomorrow, Lily," grinned James.

As dawn broke over the tiny village of Hogsmeade, a tall lanky male stretched and prepared to get out of bed. He pushed longish strands of black hair away from his eyes and yawned, grey eyes tightly closed. Hands stretched above his heads flexed and stretched, and his back arched.

Overall it gave one the impression of a cat waking up from a nice snooze in the sun.

He seemed to operate on automatic pilot as he got out of bed, walked towards the cupboard and got out a dark grey wizarding robe. Throwing the robe on the bed he began to take off the shirt he was wearing, but was interrupted by a soft clearing of throat from behind him.

Startled, he dropped his nightshirt and whirled around, wand at the ready.

"Do put that down, please," said the old wizard sitting in the corner, amused blue eyes twinkling over half-moon glasses. "I merely thought I should interrupt you before you embarrassed us both."

The hand holding the wand lowered, until it pointed towards the ground. "What are you doing here?" he whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Well, Mr. Black. I felt a need to speak with you," said the old wizard.

The wizard shook his head, his face emotionless. "I'm afraid you must be mistaken, Professor Dumbledore, sir. My name is James Evans."

Dumbledore smiled once more. "If you insist, Sirius. Now come, we have much to discuss."

END PART ONE

Author's Note: Thankyou to all of those who have been reading and reviewing Sirius' Choice – thanks to you Sirius' Choice now has over one hundred reviews! Give yourselves a clap, because you certainly deserve it!

And I have a feeling most of the readers in the Northern Hemisphere are having exams right about now, so best wishes for them, guys!

Lady of the Dragons2: Mysterious ending shall not be explained until next chapter, which will be along quicker than this one was now that I'm on holidays :D Anyway, Edana was never entirely bad or good, she's… human. She did what she thought was best at the time, but changed her mind in the end.

Caet Rae: Well, all the plot twists will be unraveled by the end of the story, I promise. Just keep reading, you'll see!

Soleil Luna: Yes, you spelt genius wrong. Still, it made me laugh!

Sweet 16 Movie Buff: Does this mean that you re-read this story in between updates? Wow… Anyway, my apologies over the Sirius being all on his lonesome again. He'll get over it eventually, it's just that this time there's the added sting of her betraying them, so he thinks he shouldn't be sad, but he is… there'll be more details on that later, though. Because as you said… there is HEAPS more to come.

aigeanta meidhir: Shh!! It might have something to do with the first chapter… or it might not :D You were my hundredth reviewer, so feel proud!

Remember to review and let me know how you think the story is going so far – Thanks!