Chapter Nine:
Movie Night

Pacey followed uncertainly as Joey ran up the steps to the Leery house. He paused at the edge of the porch and looked around, the past hitting him hard.

"You coming Pace?" Joey asked, pausing at the door and turning to look at him

"Yeah," Pacey said. "I just..." He stopped.

Joey smiled reassuringly and walked over to him. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "You can do this Pace," she said softly.

Pacey smiled softly at her. "I can do this," he said softly.

They walked forward, still holding hands. Joey opened the door and stepped through, pulling Pacey along with her.

She found Mitch and Gail standing in the hallway waiting for them. "Hi," she said softly.

"Hi Joey," they said, smiling at her. They watched as Pacey followed her in tentatively, his hand clasped firmly in hers as if it were the only thing keeping him from bolting. Mitch and Gail looked at each other, their faces sharing similar emotions. They could remember when Pacey had treated their home like it was his own. When no knock was needed. No invitation. Now he faced them with a look of almost fear on his face.

"Hi Pacey," Mitch said, smiling at the boy.

"Hey," Pacey said, not quite looking him in the eyes.

Gail stepped forward. "It's so good to see you again," she said softly. "And I was wondering something." She paused and waited for Pacey to look at her. When he did she continued. "Would it be too much to ask...For a hug?"

Pacey looked uncertain for a minute and then shrugged, nodding slightly. Gail stepped forward and gave him a hug. "We missed you a lot, Pacey," she said softly. "Welcome home."

"Thanks," Pacey said softly, hugging her back uncertainly.

"Are they upstairs?" Joey asked, knowing that Pacey was feeling more uncomfortable by the minute.

"Yeah," Mitch said. "Go ahead up."

"Thanks," Joey said, starting up the stairs.

"See you later Mr. Leery, Mrs. Leery," Pacey said softly before following Joey up the stairs.

Joey looked back over her shoulder and smiled at him reassuringly. Mitch and Gail watched until they had disappeared up the stairs.

"The future I never thought would be might come to pass after all," Gail said softly.

"What's that?" Mitch asked.

"Pacey and Joey," Gail said. "I always thought that when the two grew up they'd come to love each other. They seemed so well matched. And then..."

"Then he disappeared," Mitch said.

"It was over before it even had a chance to begin," Gail said softly. "And that made me sad, because I saw the way that he looked at her even then. She's like a daughter to me, and I knew that he would treat her well..."

"And here I was thinking that you were still holding out hope that Dawson and Joey would end up together."

"They tried that. They're just too much like brother and sister. Pacey on the other hand... I knew that they would be good together. And look at them. She makes him feel safe, and he makes her happy. It's definitely a step in the right direction."

UPSTAIRS

Pacey and Joey stood outside Dawson's door for a moment before Joey reached out and knocked.

"You knock now?" Pacey asked, still a little surprised that they hadn't climbed the ladder.

Joey cleared her throat. "Well after a few rather embarrassing interruptions," Joey cleared her throat again. "Walking in on Dawson and Andie, I decided that it would be better this way."

Pacey let out a snort of laughter as Dawson opened the door. "C'mon in you guys," Dawson said, waving them in. Andie, Jen and Jack were already there and they all looked up as Pacey and Joey entered.

Pacey decided that it was time to take the bull by the horns. "Hey everybody," he said, forcing a relaxed grin onto his face. They didn't need to know that this was scaring him to death.

"Hey," the group said, smiling back at him.

"So what's up for movie night?" Joey asked.

"Um, we were thinking Spielburg...Or well, whatever. You guys pick."

Joey looked at Pacey, who was looking at her uncertainly. "Sure," she said, pulling him over to Dawson's movie collection.

Pacey stared at the titles. Some so familiar. Some completely unknown to him. His finger traced lightly over ET and he closed his eyes. He could see the three of them laying on Dawson's bed, watching it for the fiftieth time. He wondered how many times they had watched it since... And a sharp pain shot to his heart.

Pacey opened his eyes and continued scanning the titles. Jurassic Park. He could remember standing out in the rain for hours with Dawson so that they could be among the first to see it. They had gone to the theater three times to see it. Pacey smiled slightly even as his eyes filled with tears.

"Pace?" Joey asked softly.

"Wha...?" Pacey asked. He blinked back the tears. "Oh." He reached randomly into the collection and pulled out a movie. "What about this one?"

"Men In Black?" Dawson asked.

"Yeah. Any good?"

"Sure," Dawson said. "Guys?"

"Fine," Andie said with a smile. The others nodded.

Dawson took it out of the box and finding that it wasn't rewound, slipped it into the VCR and hit rewind. There were a few moments of silence. "So, Pace," Dawson said. "How're you doing?"

'It's a simple conversation making question,' Pacey told himself and he began to tense. 'Relax!' "Fine," he said, smiling tightly.

"Um, I don't know if you'll want to," Dawson started. "But I was reading this article..." He picked up the paper that was sitting on his night stand and handed it to Pacey.

"Construction to begin next week on phase three of Capewoods Condominiums...?" He looked at Dawson questioningly.

"They're gonna bulldoze our woods, our fort," Dawson said.

Pacey's eyes closed as memories hit him. "Oh," he said softly.

"And I just thought that maybe...Maybe you'd like to go camping out there with me...Before it's gone." Dawson looked at Pacey uncertainly.

"Well," Pacey said, his voice unsure. "I don't..." He stopped, feeling dizzy as images from the past raced through his mind. Could he handle that? So many memories. So much pain. There was nothing that hurt him more than what used to be and what might have been...

"Pace?" Joey asked, looking at him worriedly.

"Excuse me. I don't..." He stopped talking. He just turned towards the door and bolted.

Dawson looked stricken. "I didn't mean..."

"It's all right Dawson," Joey said. "I'll go after him. Maybe watch another movie for a little while, okay?"

Dawson nodded and watched as Joey raced out of the room after Pacey.

She caught sight of him after she reached the porch and hurried after him. "Pacey?" She called, following him on his mad dash down the dock. She watched as he dropped to a sitting position at the end of the dock and quietly made her way to him. "Pace?" She questioned more quietly.

"Go away," Pacey said harshly.

"What?" Joey questioned, hurt by his tone.

"Please," Pacey said, his voice breaking. "Please go away, Jo. I don't...I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like what?" Joey said, crouching beside him and placing her hand on his arm. "Upset? Sad? Hurt?... Angry? You have a right to be all of those things Pace. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"But I am!" Pacey exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He turned his back on her as he continued to speak. "I'm ashamed of the anger I feel whenever I think about what they did to me! I'm ashamed of the tears! And I hate the fact that I can't have a simple conversation with the guy that was my best friend for what? Eleven Years?" He turned and faced Joey, his face tormented. "Do you know why Joey? Huh? Do you know why I can't sit and talk to him without feeling this hurt? This anger?"

"No," Joey said softly.

"I do," Pacey said. "Do you want to know?"

"Yes," Joey said, watching him carefully. There was this out-of-control look in his eyes as he began pacing up and down the dock.

"It goes back to that whole thing that we were talking about earlier. About how I wasn't sure if I was happy to be home." He stopped pacing and turned to look at her. "You know the real reason I'm not sure if I'm happy to be home? This is why. This feeling that I have right now...This... This separation. See, all that I wanted for so long was to come home. It's all I hoped for...All I prayed for...It just never occurred to me until I got here that the home that I was wishing and praying for wouldn't exist anymore. Everyone moved on without me... And I guess...I guess that I moved on without them too. I don't fit anymore, Joey. The boy I was the was a part of this place as it used to be...But who I am now? What this place is now? We don't match. Maybe we never will. That's why I'm not sure if I'm happy to be home."

"Pacey, I've never truly felt at home here. Not in the town as a whole. But the people, that's where you'll find your home. Mine is Bessie and Bodie and Alexander. Dawson, Jen, Andie and Jack. And you Pacey. You're part of my home now...In a way you always have been. Don't take that away again."

Pacey looked at Joey, tears shining in his eyes. "I wish I could feel that with my family, Jo. I wish that so much! You're the only one that I feel that with right now. The only one that I feel at home with. If it weren't for you, I'd feel so alone." Pacey looked down at his hands. "Don't ever leave, Jo. I don't think..."

"Pacey," Joey said softly.

Pacey looked up at her. "I don't think that I could survive if you ever left."

"I'm not going to leave, Pace," Joey said simply. "Not unless you physically make me leave."

"Never happen," Pacey said seriously. "You can kick my ass."

Joey laughed. "Just remember that and we'll be fine."

"I could never forget," Pacey said with a grin. They sat down on the dock side by side and leaned against each other. They gazed up at the stars silently for a while, enjoying the quiet beauty of the night.

After a little while Joey turned to face Pacey. "So are you going to go with Dawson?" Joey asked softly. "I mean... He really wants to do this with you... And maybe... Maybe it'll help you guys reconnect. That fort... It's really the only thing in this town that belonged just to the two of you."

Pacey stared out at the water, a thoughtful look on his face. "I don't know," Pacey said softly. "I guess... I guess that I can handle that... If you think... If you think he'll still want to?"

"I'm sure he'll still want to," Joey said. A boyish grin spread across his face and Joey could help smiling back at him. She leaned against him again and he put his arm around her, hugging her to him.

They sat silently for a minute before Joey sighed and spoke again. "I think that we should probably go back inside. Dawson's probably worried."

Pacey sighed. "Yeah, I guess so." They started walking back to the house. "Do you think I ruined movie night?" Pacey asked, his voice sad.

Joey smiled at him and then winked. "Face it Pace. As long as we've known each other, you've always ruined movie night. Why try and stop the inevitable?"

"Hey!" Pacey exclaimed, a smile spreading across his face as some of the tension left him. "I seem to remember not being the only one to ruin movie night. You've done it a few times yourself."

Joey shrugged. "Not as often as you." She smiled and reached out her hand to him. He hesitated for a second before taking it gently in his.

"Thanks Jo," he said softly.

"Anytime, Pace," Joey said softly.

They reentered the house and went back upstairs, entering the room slowly. The others looked up as they entered and Dawson hit stop on the remote, muting the TV. "I'm sorry, Pacey," he said softly.

"You didn't do anything, really," Pacey said softly. "And if you still want to... I'd like to go camping."

Dawson smiled. "Really?" He asked hopefully. "Tomorrow night?"

"Sure," Pacey said. He looked around uncomfortably "So, how about that movie?"

Dawson nodded and put Men In Black back in the VCR. Pacey sat down by the bed uncertainly, his back stiff. Joey smiled at him and then hit the lights. She then sat in front of him and leaned back into his arms. Pacey smiled and felt himself relax. He leaned back against the bed and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. No matter how wrong things might seem, this would always be right.