Chapter 6

Only for Minnie

Severus walked into the office and read the slip on his desk. It read:

Harry Potter

Emotional Problems

Eight o' clock tonight

Severus sighed. Potter. Damnable Potter. Why did he have to sit here and listen to that insufferable arrogant brat drone on and one about average teenage drama?

He sat and masturbated until Potter came. When he heard a knock at the door, he went on until he came and then let Potter in.

"Sit." He ordered, slightly out of breath. Potter gave him a funny look but did as he was told. He slapped his face on both cheeks and then sat back in his chair and stared at Potter. "So what seems to be the problem?"

Harry looked uncomfortable. "It's complicated…" he said meekly. "I'm not sure you'd understand."

"Try me," Snape growled, which was really code for 'Let's get this over with.'

"Okay…" Harry shifted in his seat. "I think…I think I'm in love with Professor McGonagall."

Snape gasped. "Potter! She's seven times your age!"

"I know, sir…that's what I wanted to ask you about…you see, I'd never done - erm - it…I guess she hadn't either. I just wanted to know…how exactly do you go about it?" He asked.

Snape stared at him madly. "You want me to tell you how to have sex!" he shouted.

"Shhhhh!" Potter ordered. "Not so loud! But yes, that is what I want."

Snape rubbed his chin. "Mmmmm…well, okay, but only for Minnie."

Minnie? Harry thought, but kept it to himself and waited for Severus to begin.

Draco peeked around the corner. No one there. He crept to the door of Snape's office. What were those noises coming from inside? His forehead crinkled. They sounded…kinky. Quickly, he stuck his head inside to get a better look.

"Like this?" Potter asked, moving back and forth.

"Well, yes, but at that time you must grab her breasts."

"Ew." Potter whispered. "Like this?"

"Yes, precisely." Snape bit his lip, trying not to smile. He giggled boyishly. "Now put your face down there." Snape pointed.

"WHAT? HELL NO! I AM NOT GOING TO EAT YOU OUT!" Potter roared in protest.

"Shut up! She'll want you to do it, you know…"

"Whatever. Oh, God –"

Draco, half-disgusted and half-up, reached in his bookbag and retrieved his Ominoculars from within. Despairingly, he erased his footage of a stoned Ginny and Goyle and began to record.

Forty minutes later, after the screams had subsided, his clicked the Ominoculars off.

"Excellent." He said, smirking.

"You had better really love her, Potter, for me to transfigure my money maker and allow you to perform those acts on me…all for Minnie, correct?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Right." Potter replied, buckling his belt. "And on a side note, is Dumbledore serious about this naked thing?"

Severus' nose wrinkled. "I suppose…it really is disgusting though. Now it will be so awkward…let's just pretend this never happened, alright?"

"Okay." Potter nodded, though he planned of telling Ron about it in excruciating detail. But Severus didn't need to know that.

As Severus walked into to Defense Against the Dark Arts the next day (he was the substitute), he saw a sea of sick, smirking, and pale faces. His eyebrows furrowed. Should he be curious? He shrugged it off and went to the front of the class. He was blinded by the projector.

"Ugh, Draco, could you turn that off?" He asked. Peals of laughter ensued. "What? What are you laughing at?" Swiftly, he moved out of the way to view the projection.

It was he and Harry on the wall.

Shagging.