Chapter 7

Facing the Music

For the next to weeks, wherever Severus went, he received spitballs and rolled-up condoms to the back of the head and snide remarks to the face. Someone even wrote 'VAGINA' on his forehead while he was asleep in the teacher's lounge (he suspected Flitwick, but he had no proof). As much as he hated this, sex with Harry had been worth it. Shit, He thought. I hate Potter, too. This sucks ass.

Life for Harry wasn't much better. When he flew into the stadium in a Quidditch game, all the Hufflepuff girls flashed him. Their small and insignificant breasts spelled out 'SNAPEFUCKER'. He snorted at this and went on flying.

Whenever he went in the library, Madame Pince burst out into uncontrollable giggles and, if Justin Finch-Fletchley happened to be there, his hair would burst into flames. Nobody ever quite understood that.

Meanwhile, Hermione had been soliciting drugs to first years when Professor McGonagall approached her. Quickly, she shoved the coke into her pockets and looked innocently at McGonagall.

"Er…alright, Professor?" She grinned.

"May I talk to you, Miss Granger?" McGonagall said quietly, pulling her away from the children. She looked very solemn indeed. Hermione's heart dropped.

"Erm…sure, yeah." She said calmly. They went over to a dark corner where they could speak in private. "So…what's this about?"

"Miss Granger, I know what you are doing."

At that moment, Hermione's nose started to bleed. Then she vomited all over her shoes.

"Oh shit. Let me clean that up." She said. "Scourgify. Okay, now, what were you saying?"

"Er…how much for a pound of crystal methanfedimine?"

"I'll give you a bargain. How about thirty galleons?" Hermione was grinning. She couldn't help it.

"Yes. Alright. But this never leaves this very secret, secluded dark corner in the middle of this busy hall, alright?" She nodded.

"Sure." McGonagall started to walk away, but Hermione caught her arm. "And Professor? It's thirty percent pure, just so you know. Don't sniff it all in one place." She beamed.

McGonagall nodded again and was off.

Next, McGonagall went to find Ron. Most likely he was with that statue and his Japanese love slave. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. She made for the Room of Requirement.

Slowly, she entered the room. Sade was playing softly. The room was bathed in soft candlelight, and the sheer crimson curtains on the four poster bed were closed. Many different sounds were coming from inside. McGonagall, giggling, called, "Mister Weasley? Are you in there?"

She heard a scream, and a naked Ron tumbled out of bed. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! DON'T EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!" He roared. Then, upon seeing who it was, his face went red and he covered himself with a velvet red sheet. "I mean…what can I do for you, Professor?"

"I need you to set me up with Harry. I know he likes me…he just won't admit it." McGonagall said. "Could you?"

"Well, sure." Ron said gaily. "Ohmygod. We so have to get you a new wardrobe." He ejaculated.

Turning a deaf ear to her protest, Ron rushed out in his sheet and steered her down to Hogsmede.