Chapter Fourteen: To Make You Feel My Love
Joey sat quietly for a long time, just watching as Pacey slept, his head still in her lap. His movements had calmed and now he slept peacefully, his breathing steady and even, his face young and innocent. His scars faded in the quiet darkness.
Joey looked up as someone knocked lightly on the door. It cracked open and Bessie stuck her head in. "Jo..." She stopped when she saw Pacey lying on the bed.
Joey put a finger to her lips. Bessie nodded and gestured to the hall. Joey nodded in return, carefully lifting Pacey's head and slipping out from under him. She laid his head on the bed and watched as he began to move restlessly. A sound of protest broke from his lips, but he didn't wake up. She kissed her fingers and placed them gently on his forehead before quietly making her way to the door and slipping out into the hall, closing the door behind her.
Bessie smiled slightly at her sister. "I was just coming to ask if you had seen him. His parents called."
"He just got here a little while ago," Joey said. "I don't know what happened today, Bess, but..."
Bessie's face sobered. "From the sound of things it was pretty bad," she said softly. "The judge questioned him... He talked about a lot of things that happened. Things that he had never told anyone. Horrible things. That woman is a monster Joey."
Joey's eyes went to the door of her room, tears welling in her eyes. "How, Bessie? I mean Pacey... How could anyone hurt Pacey?"
"I don't know Joey... How is he?"
Joey shrugged. "He didn't really say anything... Not good... Can he... Can he stay here tonight?"
Bessie nodded slowly. "I'll call his parents."
"Thanks Bess," Joey said. She took a deep breath. "I'm just gonna..." She nodded towards her room.
Bessie nodded in understanding. "Go ahead. I'll check on you in a little while."
"Night Bess," Joey said. She opened her door and slipped back into her room, and wished instantly that she had never left. Pacey was moving restlessly on the bed, sounds of pure anguish breaking from his lips in short bursts.
Joey hurried to the bed and dropped to her knees by the bed. She stroked his hair comfortingly and spoke softly to him, trying to calm him. It was no use. He was far away, trapped in a nightmare that was all too familiar to him.
Pacey ran through the woods, a young woman a few paces ahead of him. "Come on Pacey!" She called. "Just a little bit further! We're almost there!"
"Meg!" He called, hurrying to keep up with her. "I'm trying Meg! Wait for me."
"Don't worry Pacey!" She said, turning her lovely face towards him for a brief moment, and giving him a quick, reassuring smile. "I won't leave you. We're going to be okay. We're almost there."
"No!" Pacey moaned, shifting on the bed. "No!" A note of pure panic entered his voice, for this time the face he saw didn't belong to Meg. This time, the face was Joey's.
Pacey doubled his efforts, racing after her. "Joey!" He cried. "Joey! Wait!"
She turned and smiled at him. "It'll be all right Pacey. You're safe now. Everything's going to be fine."
Pacey moaned in fear, knowing somehow that it wasn't going to be fine. Nothing was ever fine. Everyone he loved could die here... But it hadn't happened yet. With Meg it had already happened... But with Joey... With Joey, maybe, just maybe, he could save her...
Pacey pushed himself to his limit, trying desperately to catch up with Joey. To be there to protect her, but somehow, the faster he ran, the farther away she was. "Joey," he called desperately. She turned slowly towards him as a two figures stepped out of the shadows.
"JOEY!" Pacey screamed as a man reached out and grabbed her, one arm around her waist, the other covering her mouth. Pacey cried out as her eyes widened in horror and fear... As her eyes begged him to save her.
The second figure turned towards Pacey, a mocking smile spreading slowly across her face. "Too late Sonny Boy," she cackled. She turned to the man and nodded.
He smiled in pleasure and brought a knife to Joey's neck. He raised his head slightly, meeting Pacey's eyes. Pacey shook his head in denial. "Larry?" He murmured, his eyes widening in horror, knowing deep down what was about to happen. "No!"
Larry winked slowly, his eyes sparkling like black diamonds. Then, in one swift motion, he slashed Joey throat.
"No!" Pacey screamed, throwing himself forward, his eyes never leaving Joey's face. He saw the life slowly fade from her eyes as she fell limp in Larry's arms. He made it to her side in time to catch her as Larry let her fall.
Pacey sank slowly to the ground. "No Jo!" He exclaimed, running his hands over her face, willing her to wake up. Willing her to be all right. "Oh God!" He murmured, looking down at his hands which were now covered with her blood. His eyes widened in horror and his gaze flew back to her face. Her eyes stared up at him blankly, a silent accusation. "I'm sorry Joey!" Pacey cried, his body convulsing in sobs as he pulled her close to his chest. "I'm so sorry! I never meant..."
"What you meant doesn't matter Sonny," Mama said, glaring down at him. Pacey slowly raised his head and met her gaze, his eyes filled with pain and hatred... Mama Sal just smiled. "You should have known that you couldn't get away from me. You'll never get away from me."
"NO!" Pacey screamed sitting up straight in bed.
"Pace," Joey said softly, placing her hand on his arm. Pacey turned to face her, sighing in relief at finding her next to him... and alive.
"Jo," he breathed, tears of relief... and of fear, filling his eyes. "Thank god..."
"What's wrong?" Joey asked. "What happened?"
Pacey shook his head. He couldn't form a coherent thought about the dream. There was no way that he'd be able to explain it.
"Pacey..." Joey said again, getting to her feet and sitting down next to him on the bed.
Pacey just shook his head again, and held out his arms to her. She moved closer to him without hesitation and wrapped her arms around him. She felt him shudder as she touched him and she moved even closer. "Pacey, tell me what's wrong!"
Joey's only answer was Pacey's muffled sob as he buried his head in her hair. Joey held him tighter as he began to shake. "I can't..."
"It's all right," Joey said softly, knowing that he would tell her if and when he could. Knowing that pushing would only make it worse. "You don't have to."
"I'm sorry," Pacey whispered.
"Shh," Joey murmured. She pulled back slightly and looked him in the eyes, smiling reassuringly at him. She cupped his face in her hands and gently kissed him on the forehead. "Why don't you just lay down again?"
Pacey looked at her uncertainly. "I don't think..." He didn't think he could sleep...
"I'll stay with you," Joey said softly. Pacey was still for a minute and then nodded. He allowed her to help him take his shoes off, and let her talk him into slipping under the covers.
"My parents," he said suddenly, remembering that he had promised to call..
"Bessie called them," Joey said, pulling the covers up over him.
Pacey nodded and let himself relax into the warmth and comfort of the bed. That had been his final protest. He was to tired to argue or move or even to think.
Joey crawled into bed next to him and turned off the light. She snuggled up next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. He let out a soft sigh and relaxed the moment that she touched him. "Sleep," she said softly, resting a hand on his chest.
Pacey hugged her close to him and she felt him nod. "Thanks Potter," Pacey said softly, kissing her on the temple.
"Thank you," Joey said softly, snuggling closer. "I'm glad you're here."
Pacey closed his eyes and felt himself drift. His next words flowed from him without thought or prompting.
"I love you Jo."
He almost choked when he realized what he had said, but at the same time, it was the most natural thing that he had ever said. He held his breath as he waited for Joey's response.
Joey's eyes popped open, and a smile spread across her face even as tears filled her eyes. "I love you too Pace," she said softly, her voice reassuring.
Pacey let his breath out slowly. It was all right. He hadn't done the wrong thing. Maybe, now, after all this time, he had finally done something right. He rested his head against hers, feeling more safe and secure then he had in years.
Joey stayed awake until she was sure that Pacey was asleep, then she let herself drift off. She didn't know what would happen in the morning, but right now all that mattered was that he was there...
When the rain is blowing in your face
and the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love
When evening shadows
and the stars appear
and there is no one there
to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your
mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment
that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing
wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Got to the ends of the earth for you
I could make you happy, make your
dreams come true
To make you feel my love
The Next Morning
Waking like this was bliss, Pacey decided, as he looked down at Joey's peaceful face. Warm and safe with Joey in his arms. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept so well... It had been before he was kidnapped, that was for sure. He lay still, not wanting to disturb her and decided that he could watch her sleep for hours...
He smiled as her eyelids began to flutter, and then opened. "Mornin' Jo," he said softly.
Joey smiled up at him. "Mornin'," She said, hugging him close.
A feeling of warm peace filled Pacey's chest. "I don't ever want to get up," he said softly.
"Mmm, me either," Joey said, snuggling into him.
Pacey brought his hand to her cheek and touched her face gently. "It's almost like a dream," he said softly.
His words brought the night before back to Joey with a start. "What do you dream about, Pacey?" She asked softly. The look on Pacey's face made her want to take back her words, but it was too late. Besides, the dream that he'd had the night before had been a doozy and she wanted to know what it was about. She wanted to be able to help him.
Pacey looked away from her, wishing that he hadn't said anything to remind her of the dream. "You don't want to know, Joey," he said, his eyes darkening with images of her death. Images totally separate from the kind of dream he had been speaking of.
"You can trust me, Pace," Joey said insistently. "I only want to help."
Pacey looked at her uncertainly for a minute and then sighed. "I dream about lots of things," Pacey said softly, sitting up in the bed. Joey sat up to, sitting crosslegged on the bed and facing him. "I dream about them. About things that happened." He paused for a minute. "I dream about you."
And not always in a good way. She could hear that in his voice. "What about me?" She asked softly. "Happy dreams?"
"Some of them..." Pacey said. "Some of them are happy."
"And the others?" Joey prompted.
Pacey looked at her uncertainly. "The others..." He stopped, shaking his head. "I...I can't."
"I get hurt?" Joey asked softly. Pacey nodded slightly. "By Mama Sal?"
"Sometimes," Pacey said faintly.
"By you?" Joey asked, her voice barely a whisper.
An unspeakable amount of pain filled Pacey's face and his eyes filled with tears... but he nodded.
"They're just dreams, Pacey," Joey said. "They're not real. The only time you've ever hurt me is when you wouldn't talk to me. When I couldn't see you. That hurt me so much, Pacey."
"It was the right thing to do," Pacey said determinedly.
"No it wasn't," Joey said. "I'm telling you right now, it wasn't the right thing to do. And you know something else? You're not going to separate yourself from me again. I won't allow it."
"I don't have the strength anymore," Pacey said softly. "I know that I should... I should do whatever it takes to keep you safe... but I can't anymore. I need you too much, Joey. I can't stand to do that to us anymore." He took a deep shuddering breath. "But I'm scared Jo. I'm so damn scared."
"You don't have to be so scared Pacey. I know it's easier to say that than to believe it... But it's the truth. You don't have to be so scared. We're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. We just have to take it one day at a time."
Pacey closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "One day at a time," he said faintly. "I think I can do that."
Joey smiled at him. "Good," she said. "That's all I ask."
Pacey stared down at his hands silently for a few minutes. Finally he spoke again, not looking up. "I... I just... I have to tell you that... I meant what I said last night Jo." He looked up, his eyes shining with emotion. "I do love you. I couldn't have survived this long without you."
Joey smiled and laid a hand gently on his cheek. "And I meant what I said, Pace. I love you too. And that's why we're going to be okay."
Pacey reached out a hand hesitantly and ran his fingers through her hair. Joey closed her eyes at the gentle touch and leaned closer to him. Pacey sighed and gave in to the desire he had been fighting for weeks. He cupped her face in his hands and ever so gently brought his lips to hers.