Chapter Seventeen: A Corset and Other New Things

I woke up from my dream, happy, but crying. My pillow was damp and I smiled at the pleasant dream. The name, Jack, did indeed sound familiar, but perhaps it was because I had read about it somewhere during my lessons. I looked over at my window and saw that the sky was a dark grey. Dawn would arrive soon, but all I could do again was sleep.

When I finally woke up again, it was not out of my own will. Maggie woke me with her strong arm, shaking me like a doll. "Come on, Miss," she urged. "I understand that you attended a party last night, but Missus wants you downstairs for breakfast very soon." I opened an eye and peered around my room. It was filled with the blinding light pouring in from my windows.

I sat up and yawned, ignoring dear Missus DeWitt's rule. I scratched my head, my fingers digging into the curly brown mess on my head, otherwise known as my hair. Maggie's firm arm grabbed my own and pulled me to the dressing area. "What horrid dress will I be wearing today?" I thought. She tossed away my night gown and donned me in fluffy undergarments. She was dressing me just as usual when she suddenly said she needed to get something from my mother for me.

"I'll be right back, Miss. Don't move." I stood in my spot, staring at her with raised eyebrows. What did she need to obtain from Mum? She darted out the room and I waited in my underclothes for her to return.

As she walked back into my room, she proudly held in front of her a large piece of cloth. It had a definite shape to it; its top and bottom were wide and the middle was skinny. A wide grin was on her face, but I began to suspect that something was wrong. "What is that?" I asked.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough. Stick your arms out to your sides," she ordered. I did so, wondering why it was necessary.

She fastened the new addition to my attire around my chest, waist and abdomen. At first, it was not so bad to have it around me. It fit just fine and I questioned why I needed to wear it now that I was growing up. Before I even had the chance to ask such a question, Maggie grabbed the strings in the back and pulled at it with all her might. In less than a second, a terrible and suffocating pressure wrapped around my stomach and back, and the dreadful sound of stretching strings rang in my ears. The force was so inescapably excruciating that I collapsed to the floor, hugging my sides. "Take it off!" I wailed. "I can't breathe with the bloody thing on!"

"Watch your language, Miss Astrid," said Maggie, pulling me back on my feet. My legs had gone limp from the lack of oxygen caused by this horrid thing around my waist. I could only lean on her.

"Take it off!" I screamed. "Please, Maggie. Please." The piece was tremendously uncomfortable and it felt as if two giant stones were pressing hard against each other with me stuck in the middle. I thought my ribs and insides were crushed and squished together.

"Oh, Astrid," Maggie snapped. "You'll get used to it. Now, stand up properly." She moved away from me so I could not lean on her and I only fell to the floor again, struggling with the blasted thing.

"Take it off," I whined, after seeing that my struggle only made it seem as if more air was being sucked out of me.

Maggie didn't listen to me. She just tugged on my arms to get me on my feet and propped me back up again. She took hold of the strings again and pulled even harder than before and I thought my heart stopped for a second. "Has this… thing… ever killed anyone?" I managed to gasp as the strings only stretched farther and farther.

"It's called a corset," replied Maggie. "And no woman has ever died from it."

"Then I'll be the first," I mumbled.

Barely breathing and all dressed up and ready to go, I walked down the stairs, trying not to topple over and yell to get the corset off me. Sadly, I made it to the bottom step still alive and on my feet. I looked around the area and saw that the doorman was not in his usual spot. Perhaps he was getting his breakfast as I should have done.

The place was quiet though, and I felt as if I was the only person in the house. Of course it was a rather large house, and it was easy to think that you are alone in it. It would have never been quiet if Roland was still at home. He could never sit around and do nothing, and neither could I, but it seems that over the years, that has changed. It was late September, and Roland still had not returned from his exciting voyage on the ocean.More than two years had passed.

I decided to get some food in me, so I headed for the kitchen, but on my way there, I heard a soft knock on the front doors. I looked around to see if the doorman would come, but no one came and the knocking continued. I shrugged my shoulders and went ahead to open the door. "Hell-" I cut myself off, for the person standing on the other side was young Mister Adam Locke. "Hello," I repeated, finishing myself this time.

He was dressed in a navy blue coat that was lined with gold buttons. His pants were beige and his shoes were brilliantly polished. His hair was tied back and he reminded me of the first time I laid my eyes on Matthew. "Good morning, Miss Astrid," he replied, bowing at me.

"Astrid! Who is at the door?" yelled a voice from within the house. I turned my head around and yelled back to Mum.

"No one! I'm sending them away right now!" I turned back to Adam and spoke at a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

"Well… I… well… since I could not dance with you last night, I was wondering if you would take a walk with me in the afternoon." I stood mute at his offer.

"I-I don't really know if I can," I replied, trying not to stutter or talk too quickly. "I have lessons with my governess in the mornings."

"Well, that's in the morning. I'm sure you have your afternoons free then," persistent in getting a 'yes' from me.

"Well… after my lessons, my father usually comes home and I have… fencing lessons with him."

"Fencing? You take fencing?"

"Yes. For two years now. Why? Do you think it is only restricted for men?" I replied, my voice rising.

"N-No. I think it's nice that you are learning it. But you still haven't answered my question, Astrid."

"I… I guess I could walk with you. But not for long."

"All right. When shall I come for you again?"

"Two o'clock is fine."

"Two o'clock it is then." He nodded at me with a smile and walked down the path leading to my home and onto the main streets again.

I closed the door gently behind me and turned around and smiled. I suddenly noticed that I was smiling and took it away. Did I just begin a courtship with him? "Great, Astrid," I thought. "Now you'll grow attached to him and your love for the sea will fade away." I shook my head and headed back for the kitchen for breakfast, my face warm with worry and delight.

I stepped into the kitchen and saw that no one was present. I turned to the dining room and poked my head through the entrance. Sure enough, Mum, Dad, and dear old Grandfather sat there eating breakfast. "Who was at the door, Astrid?" Mum asked, not looking up from her plate.

"No one," I answered, taking my seat.

"Would you lie to your own mother?" Mum pressed. I paused a moment and remained silent as I unfolded my napkin.

"It was a boy," I said glumly. The sound of clanking eating utensils halted and silence pounded in the room. I looked up and saw that Mum, Dad and Grandfather will staring at me with amused and happy faces. "What?" I asked.

"What was his name?" Mum inquired.

"He was the same boy who I told you about last night. Adam Locke."

"Why was he here?" Again, I was reluctant to answer. The matter seemed personal in my mind, but I continued to blab away about what was going on. Obviously, my face burned through the whole confession.

"He came to ask me if I would like to take and afternoon walk with him," I replied bluntly. I didn't really want to walk with him. I just said it so I wouldn't seem mean, but now I regretted doing so. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was looking for a relationship involving the ocean and a ship.

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"You'll be missing your fencing lesson," Dad intruded. I looked at him and saw that he was smiling.

"I can make it up," I replied. "Can we stop talking about this?" Everyone at the table chuckled and my wish was granted. Talk of courtship and Adam Locke had stopped.

Missus DeWitt arrived and told me my lessons would be held in the living room. She said she had something planned for the day and that the length of the lesson would depend on how well I cooperated with her. Mum had decided to stay home and she would stay and watch me during my lessons. Little did I know that she knew what I would be learning that day.

Some furniture in the living room was pushed to the side, leaving a large, empty square in the middle. I stood in the middle of the square, tapping my shoes on the floor as Missus DeWitt excused herself for just a moment. I was left alone with Mum who stood on a couch nearby. "Roland hasn't come back yet," I said. Mum only raised an eyebrow at me. "He hasn't written to us either. What if he's eloped with that blasted wench?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Astrid," Mum laughed. "Roland wouldn't do that. Besides, he should be coming home soon. He will be home by winter."

"Winter!" I shouted. "That is months away!" I soon regretted shouting, for the corset gave me little air to live on.

"Voyages on the sea are never for certain, Astrid. There is never an exact time a ship will arrive because of the changes in weather and wind."

"Well, I think he's been gone too long." There was a knock on the door then, ending my conversation with Mum. Both our heads turned towards the front doors. "I'll get it," I said.

"No. I will. I have not seen this Adam Locke of yours and if it is him, I want to find out what he is like." She got up and scurried to the door and opened it. I hoped it wouldn't be Adam, but I was cursed with bad luck. It was indeed my so called "suitor."

Mum let him into the house and he immediately found me in the living room. "Astrid!" he said, walking into the room. Mum came in behind him, a pleased smile on her face.

"Hello… Adam," I replied. "…again," I added. He stopped in front of me and bent down and kissed my hand again, remembering his manners in front of my mother. To me, it was absolutely mortifying.

"I just came back to tell you I can't walk with you after all. My father wants me to attend a special ceremony."

"Oh, well, that's…"

"A pity? Yes, I know." I was surprised that he said that because I couldn't have been happier.

"Would you like to stay for a while then, Adam?" Mum imposed. His head turned to her and I mouthed "no" to her. She ignored my plea.

"Of course, Missus Turner. I'd love to." At that, I raised my arms in the air and looked straight up at the ceiling.

"Why? Why is she doing this to me?" I wondered.

"Astrid?" Adam asked, looking back at me with my arms raised up into the air.

"Oh, sorry. Just stretching." Missus DeWitt entered the room then and looked from face to face.

"Miss, time to get to your dancing lessons." I moaned inside and waited for her to begin the music. She turned to Adam then, a sharp finger pointed at him. "Boy," she commanded. "Dance with her." A delighted smile came onto Adam's face and he happily stood beside me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mum beam.

Missus DeWitt sat herself on the couch beside Mum and began to direct Adam and me through the dance. To my luck, she chose us to dance a waltz.

I apologized to Adam many times for stepping on his toes. I was not at all graceful in dances, and I had grown even more uncomfortable with him so close to me. I took it that he wouldn't want to dance with me again. Of course, that would not be a problem of mine. With Missus DeWitt and Mum watching my back, I made sure to dismiss Adam properly and with a good farewell. "I'm sorry you could not walk with me," I said as he stepped out of the house. He only smiled and it began to make me uncomfortable.

"Dancing with you was much better," he replied. "I hope to see you soon again, Astrid." I remained speechless and just stared stupidly at him as he walked off.

"Well…" came a voice behind me. I turned around and saw Mum behind me. I knew what she was thinking, and I decided it was time I tell her that I did not want to court anyone. I wanted to go on a ship. I wanted to find adventure.

"Mum," I said. "I know Adam is nice, but I don't… I'm not looking… I don't want a suitor." It was easier to say it in my head than out loud.

"I had a feeling you didn't want one," Mum sighed. "I should have known you aren't one who will do such a thing yet."

"I don't mind still seeing him though," I said quickly. "I just don't want to court him." I left her side when Missus DeWitt called for me to continue my lessons for the day. With a soft sigh, I followed after my governess, desperately wishing for some excitement in this dull life of mine.