Chapter 31: Rules Broken and Remade
It was late April. Missus DeWitt was married yesterday, and she was already well off on a ship to take her to her new life with her new husband. The joy on her face when she wished me and all her other students a fond farewell was overflowing, but for me, not even a hint of joy crossed my face when I returned home. Missus DeWitt leaving meant only one thing: the return of the revolting Miss Abigail Smith. "Well, it seems you haven't changed much, now have you?" she squeaked in her glass-shattering voice as she examined me for the first time in two, almost three, years.
"Pleasure to see you again as well, Miss Smith," I said, as civilly as possible. I bobbed a curtsy towards her, and she raised her enormous nose in the air and gave a high-pitched 'humph!'
"Off with your lessons then. I did not come here to exchange endless babble with a petty girl such as yourself." I snorted, but it came out quiet enough for her ears to miss. With a snap of her fingers, she stalked off to the library where I was usually taught, and I trudged behind her, muttering insults to her back.
I sank into my chair while she seated herself at a desk, her face far from pleased and her thin pale lips in a pouting frown. "Where did Missus DeWitt leave you in your lessons?"
"For Mathematics, I was learning simple problem solving using two different variables. French, I am quite behind on, considering what is going on in Europe with Napoleon at the moment. Language and writing, I was in the middle of learning to write a proper friendly and formal letter. On matters such as etiquette, embroidery and other social lessons, I do not know exactly where I stand." I glared back at her with just as prim and hateful a stare and she turned her face away from me with the same little 'hmph!' shooting out her nose.
"Well, it seems that you are quite advanced on your academic studies, so we shall not focus much on that. Your French as well, since the British on not keen with the French at this current moment. We shall focus on making you into more of a lady, who can introduce guests to each other, host a fine gathering of both men and women, and sing and dance them all to their heart's content." I grew sick at her objectives. The woman should have known that Astrid would never be a fine lady who could do such things. I was a terrible dancer, a terrible singer; my embroidery was worse than that of a six year old girl's, and I could barely refrain from beating any man or woman who dared to defy me. Her expectations would not be met in just one month.
"We shall begin immediately. Stand," ordered Miss Smith, pointing a finger directly at me. "I shall teach you the proper way of introducing guests." Taking in a large breath, I waited for the torture to begin.
I landed on the soft earth in a thud, but I had still landed on the ground hard enough to make me rub my sore rump as I stumbled back to my feet. "Remember to move your feet, Astrid," said Daddy's all-knowing voice.
"Yes, Dad," I moaned. "Start from the beginning?"
"Yes. Go on," he answered, positioning his sword in front of himself again, as I did the same.
Lessons with Miss Smith were at last over, and I found that I tolerated them a lot better than I did when I was much younger. Thankfully, her presence was gone from my house and I could switch back to my old self at her leave. I even found it necessary to change out of my dress and don myself in my pirate wear, or rather, my "sailor" wear, as Maggie urged me to use. And so, dressed in the said attire, I continued my lessons with Dad. He constantly reminded me that my form was good and my speed and strategy were flawless. My only current problem was my footwork. If I had to cross my feet, I couldn't focus on my sword, which was a dreadful weakness to have. No wonder Daddy wanted me to watch my feet. Every time I crossed my feet to match the movements of my opponent, I'd stumble over them and land on the floor.
"If you can't watch your own feet, Astrid," said Daddy. "Make sure to keep an eye on your enemy's. That way, your body can mimic their movements without sacrificing your eyesight." He took a quick step forward, jabbing his blade in my direction, and I parried it with a casual, and overly proud swing of my arm.
"I'm not very good at that," I said miserably, as I skidded forward, blocking Dad's blows with rapidly moving eyes.
"Just keep in mind that whatever you do, your opponent will do the same. It is true for any duelist. The matter of victory is achieved—" He paused and spun around, swishing the flashing piece of metal at me. I ducked in time and prepared to send a blow to his abdomen. Sadly, he hopped back and I missed. "Depending on what you do with your wrist," he finished, as he twirled the blade effortlessly with his hand. I sighed in aggravation and stuck the point of my sword into the ground.
"I'll never get this footwork right," I muttered.
"Ending your lessons early then, Astrid?" he asked, already shoving his sword back in its scabbard. For a moment, I thought about the situation. For nearly an hour I was practicing with Dad, all the while being defeated because of my unsteady feet. In fact, I was never able to beat him in a duel. Ever. I had managed to beat Roland, and I was even thinking about challenging my Adam, of course, only for fun. But still, Dad was my teacher, and if I could defeat him at last, then perhaps that would be a sign that I was ready to finally go out to sea.
"One more," I said, getting into position again. Daddy grinned and he happily withdrew his sword again and, narrowing his eyes on me, the duel began.
He gave me the honor of attacking first, but I insisted that he go, because I wanted to start off the duel using his advice and tried to focus on his movements. When he moved left, crossing one foot over the other, I kept my eyes on him, and surprisingly moved right. As I lifted my foot over the other, I expected for myself to trip again. But I didn't. My foot landed securely on the ground, and I smiled with pleasure. Watch out, Daddy. Astrid has gotten her footwork down.
He stepped forward, tip pointed at me and swung. I parried and broke the contact, and thrust my wrist forward so that my blade would tilt downward and perhaps make him look down at his feet. He did. Lovely. Quickly, I brought back my blade and rushed forward, holding my sword at an angle going upward to catch him by surprise at the throat. Narrowly, he missed it and dodged his head just in time. "Good," he said under his breath as he dipped his head down and scurried away from my advancing blade.
My Daddy though, was no coward and he never averted his eyes to anything else but me and the sword in my hand. Dueling was a matter of taking turns almost. One would seize the chance to do the first attack and the opponent would be too astounded from the sudden rush of movements to pull any of their tricks. The one attacking though, would soon tire and needed to rethink their approach. As soon as I thought I was finally going to conquer Dad's invincibility, he grasped his chance to beat me to the ground. And he succeeded in doing so, making my thought of conquest sadly short-lived.
Once I ran out of plans because Dad had been able to avoid my assaults, he took advantage of my distracted mind and extended his sword forward. I parried, but he continued to step forward, making me block every downward blow he was sending. I was getting quite annoyed with his tactic, and as soon as he struck again, I met his blade with no intent of letting him win.
Dad made to withdraw his sword, but I would not budge mine. The sharp edge grinded against the metal, and in one swift movement, I transferred my weight to my front leg and with two hands gripped my sword and broke the cross, making Daddy step back a bit. He grinned but his brows were knitted with amazement and satisfaction that I was steadily holding my ground. Preparing my next move, hopefully the one that would defeat Daddy, I dashed forward, sword flashing in the sunshine and…
Stopped midway at the sound of a familiar voice.
"Astrid!" it shouted. "My God, look at you!" I turned my head around, crimson already well up my face, to meet Stephen Westley's stunned and grinning face.
"Hell—Hello… St-St-Stephen," I stammered. I turned over to my Dad and he stood there, arms folded and trying his best not to laugh. "What do I do?" I mouthed. He shrugged and beckoned for me to go speak with him. As soon as I was under the protection from humiliation that branched off my Daddy, I decided to open my mouth. "Daddy," I whispered. "What do I do? I didn't expect him to be here!" Daddy's eyes were too kind, too welcoming. I took it he did not understand the pressures of being a young woman even after having raised me.
"What do you want me to do, Astrid? He is here and it would be rude to let him leave," he replied.
"But… what if he is disgusted that I am wearing… wearing my sailor wear?" I asked, nearly jumping around from the nervousness. Daddy chuckled and his smile only broadened.
"Astrid, I have never seen you embarrassed to wear your pirate gear, and I know you are not embarrassed now just because a handsome young man comes barging in."
"Dad!" I growled. "You are far from making this easier for me."
"Astrid?" said Stephen distantly. I froze. Indecision was a terrible thing to invade my mind at that time. Forgetting my conversation with Dad, I turned around, a false smile on my face and approached Stephen who still stood very amused with his discovery of my pirate wear.
"Stephen, what brings you here?" I asked, trying to make him look at my face and not my most inappropriate pirate attire.
"Just a visit, Astrid. Your mother told me you were out back with your father, and I found you here dressed as a…" His voice trailed off as he looked me up and down again. I was beginning to wonder if he was looking at my less than impressing clothes or at my figure, considering that there were no fluffy skirts to hide what men really desired to see. "… as a true buccaneer," he finally finished, after closing his open jaw.
"Well, I hope you aren't offended because I do indeed enjoy dressing like this," I confessed, growing so hot from the humiliation that I began to drip with sweat.
"I don't mind," he said honestly. You cannot be too good to be true, Stephen. Not even Adam is fine with every single thing that I do. "You look quite... stunning." My awkward smile was trembling and waiting for the moment to break. For once, he looked away from me and addressed my father. "Do you mind if I have a separate moment with your daughter, Mister Turner?"
"No. Not at all… But I prefer that you wait inside. Astrid is not finished with her fencing lesson yet." Again, Stephen's jaw dropped and he gaped at me again. Yes, Stephen. There are many things you do not know about me.
"Of course, Mister Turner," replied Stephen, half-stuttering the words. "I'll see you soon, Astrid." He bowed to me and swiftly kissed the back of my hand. Oh how I missed that! I was certain that he had forgiven me for refusing to kiss him, but I was still afraid that him seeing me dressed like a man only made him admire me more.
"Why… Why don't you stay and watch?" I blurted out, before knowing that I had said such a thing. Daddy's face was twisted in utter bafflement, and all the while I felt my legs begin to melt because I was so wet from the mortification. Had I really just invited Stephen to watch me duel against my own dad? Yes, I did.
"I'd be honored to, Miss," said he in reply.
"Have you any experience in fencing, Mister Westley?" asked Daddy, and by the look on his face he was suspicious of the young man, as he was with every man that came in talking to me. But I could tell from his lightly curled lips that he had a scheme in his head. I predicted that was wear Roland obtained his tactical mind.
"Yes, Sir," said Stephen.
"Astrid, would you care to show Mister Westley how you duel?" My face tensed and I whirled towards Daddy, wondering why he was making me do such a thing.
"You want us to duel?" I shrieked. He nodded as if it was no large matter, and crossing his arms and already in his swordplay examining stance he proctored us to go on. Daddy, why do you torment me so? Stephen gladly revealed his well-crafted blade and I gripped mine in the right hand.
We began off rather easy on each other. I knew Stephen was capable of more powerful moves, and I was sure he thought the same of me for I tossed his parries as if they were feathers in the wind. All the while he was grinning at me, and I couldn't help but grin back. He only looked all the more dashing when his sword moved with him. It didn't take long for us to become too entangled in the rush and excitement of the duel, and we were really going at it when Daddy at last said we could stop. To Stephen he said that he had a good form and footwork, but needed work on maneuvers. As for me, he said I still needed to watch my feet. "I'll leave you two alone now," said Dad, gathering his sword in its scabbard and walking out of the gardens. Free from Daddy's watchful and suspicious stare I was finally able to breathe normally.
"Why did you never tell me you knew how to fence?" asked Stephen, sitting himself down on a stone bench nearby. He motioned for me to sit next to him and, aware of what he had done for me, willingly agreed.
"I thought you might… laugh. Your sister has."
"Alexandra and I are not identical, Astrid. I understand your passion for fencing. It coincides with your dream to go out to sea, and I have never objected to that." He turned his head slowly to the side and his gaze locked on mine in a very intense and mysterious glare. It could have been interpreted in many ways. Either he was looking at me to figure out what I was thinking, or he was looking at me because he wanted "something" to happen.
"Stephen," I said, pretending that I knew what direction he was headed in and spoke very haughtily as he did often at times. "What do you want from me?" His brows raised at that and it was a miracle that I had put him at a loss for words.
"Nothing that you are not willing to part with," he said simply, appearing a little uneasy himself.
"But what if I don't want to part with anything, Stephen?" I continued, in a tone that was most likely too teasing for my own good. "You'd get nothing from me then."
"Your friendship I'd still have, wouldn't I?"
"Perhaps," I answered, leaning in closer to him. It was a strangely fun feeling to make him shake at my own vague advances. "Nothing is ever certain though, Stephen, but at the moment, I will never give up our friendship. I like you and I appreciate very much what you have done for me." To show him that I was sincere, I slid my arm around his middle and half hugged him. Soon enough I felt his own arm wrap around my waist, but I did not grind my teeth as I did with Griffith. Stephen's touch was gentle and caring.
"I like you a lot as well, Astrid," he said, bending his head and bumping it jokingly on my own. "But I don't only want friendship from you," he whispered, placing a kiss on my cheek. I bit my lip but felt the rise of pleased giggles bubble in me anyway.
"Why?" I kidded. I could feel his body shake with a soft snicker and he pulled my face to his and kissed my closed lips twice. I never parted them, for I knew where that would get me. He merely pressed his lips against mine. No real kiss happened. He drew away from me, clearly disappointed that I had kept my mouth shut. Yes. Astrid is still a good girl. I think… He stood up and his blue eyes fell on mine.
"Why?" he repeated, though by his question I knew he was really asking, "Why didn't you kiss me back?"
"I don't know."
"Then neither do I." He bent down and kissed my hand again, his lips lingering on my skin before finally taking his leave. Even when he was long gone, my lips still burned from coming in contact with his in a disloyal kiss. Adam… The name echoed in my head like church bells. It triggered a lovely bunch of memories in my mind, but I feared that Stephen would soon have his own memories to share with me. Would I be able to stop them?