Disclaimer: I am poor and own nothing. And because I'm poor, this is my only source of entertainment, so please do not sue.
Authors Note: This story is dedicated to Tracy137. And here's a random author fact. I like little Ten, does anyone else like Ten? Sorry for the wait on this, it gave me some problems. Hope you all enjoy it.
LANCELOTTRISTANBABY – Well I'm glad you didn't cry. Thanks for the review. Sorry for the wait on the update.
Tracy137 – I knew you'd like that Tristan line! Who wouldn't? I'm sorry you were crying though, and yeah, I think poor Gawain too. But don't worry, cause I love him almost as much as Tristan, so I'm sure it will work out for him. :wink: LOL. You and your favorites to date; makes me giggle, almost as much as Wild Child. (LOVE THAT btw). I came up with another Arthur story idea today that I might post, I need to write down the idea though, and finish this one. (I already have like three going right now and it's hard to keep up with the updates, as I'm sure you understand. Although you're much more together than I am about it.) I just thought it would be funnier if it was someone else in the room with him. Cause if it was her, then it would have been all teary or something violent (if he came around and I was the only one in there, I'd cry, kiss him and then kick his ass for making me worry, but that's just me). Fine, let us compromise. We are both our own worst critics, and so therefore, your work is better than mine to me, and mine is better than yours to you, and we can both think the other is wrong? (And I'll know I'm right ;o)) Hope you like this chapter.
Dw – Glad you liked it. I thought it would be a good thing to put in there. Sadly he couldn't bring them back with him though. Thanks for the review.
Dmitchell – I'm still not sure yet what the sex of the baby will be. I need to work on a few ideas. Sequel huh? Well that is something to consider. I will definitely not throw the idea out. Glad you love the story and thanks for the review.
Dellis – So long as they were happy tears. Thanks for the review.
Cardeia – I really don't deserve your praise but I do thank you for it. I've never read that book, but it sounds pretty good. I'm not usually into romances, being that all the ones I've ever read suck and I prefer a little action with my smoochies. And really, thank you. This is one of the few stories I've ever written that I actually am really proud of, so to here you say it's improved makes me really happy. Whenever I write a story, I see it in my head like a movie and so it's kind of hard to describe sometimes. There are usually even actors playing the parts, including in my original works. Thank you for your kudos, but I don't think they are deserved. And I am my own worst critic once again. Don't worry, you'll learn about Gawain and Sybil soon. As for Lancelot being messy, here is how I see it. Messy knights: Lance, Bors (if it weren't for Vanora), and Galahad. Tidy Knights: Arthur (as we saw in the film), Dagonet and Tristan. And Gawain, well he can go either way. He's the only one I haven't pinned yet. And I intend to have much fun with Cornell…er Ana will anyway. I just live vicariously through her. Thanks for the review it made me happy.
Texasgrrl – What did happen to your periods? Get them back. That's okay, I'm such a girl too cause after I wrote it all, I re-read it and cried. (Knew what was going to happen and still I cried.) Glad you liked it and thanks for the review.
FlamezBlaze1 – Glad you liked it. How soon is sooner than soon? Thanks for the review.
Babaksmiles – Glad you liked the chapter. And again I thank you for your faith in me. (See and it wasn't misplaced!) Don't worry I'm sure Sybil and Gawain will work it out. Or Ana and Brenna will work it out for them. ;o) Thanks for the review.
Lunawolf – Oh no don't sob! Well, go ahead cause I got pretty teary in parts too. (Like when she was throwing pottery and screaming at him.) LOL. I've done that before, and then get odd looks from everyone, including my dog. Glad you liked that line. That's what I would have said so it seemed to fit. I mean, come on for six days nothing and then he's awake while she's out of the room? He's just a sorry bastard. (But a sexy sorry bastard so we forgive him.) Gotcha. Horrific death and safe birth. I think I can probably manage that. Ugh, I hated finals week. I got a chest cold, the only time I was sick all year and it was during finals week. Glad it made you feel better though. Hope you do/did well on all your exams and thanks for the review.
Lucillaq – Wow, you were almost speechless. I've never done that to someone before with my writing. Thank you so much. Hope you like this chapter as well. And thanks for the review.
Sorceress Misha - Yeah, I had to spice it up a little and poor Gawain and Sybil ended up being my targets. Thanks for the review. Hope you like this chapter as well.
Isolde – You're very welcome. No need for thanks though, since I was more than happy and willing to let him live. Sorry, no Cornell death this chapter, but it is on its way. And don't worry, Sybil and Gawain are far from forgotten. Thanks for the review.
Countess Jackman – Don't scare your mom! Although, I've been known to do that. And bore my mom and confuse my mom and annoy my mom…wait, what was I saying? Well, so long as she laughed than it's okay. Glad you liked the chapter. I was pretty proud of it personally, and even more so since everyone else seems to like it as well. Thanks for the review. They inspire me to write more.
KnightMadien – Sorry for the wait but here it is. Thanks for the review.
Tori – Glad to see the new face, and glad to hear that you are enjoying my story. Thanks for the review and here's your update.
Ryn the whitepanther – Thank you. It is hard to watch him die, and I was fighting back tears to try and type it all up. And you're very welcome that I didn't kill him. I couldn't really and not still type. Glad you like my story so much and thank you for the reviews. I'm sorry I didn't respond to the one for chapter 14, but I got it a few minutes after I posted 15.
Chapter Sixteen: Mixed Feelings
"Very well, very well," Ana's voice floated down the hallway towards the sick room, causing Tristan to sit up in the bed. It had been three days since he had woken up and already he was going stir crazy, anxious to be out in the sun. He, like his wife, was a quick healer, but sadly not quick enough. He watched as the door opened and she came in, a leather strap wrapped around her left hand and his hawk setting on her fingers, looking at him anxiously, her wings flapping a bit as she caught a glimpse of him sitting in the bed. "Hush now," Ana soothed as the creature began to screech. She strolled across the room and came over to stand in front of her chair, holding the bird out towards him as well as a piece of leather.
"There ya are," he said, wrapping the leather quickly around his fingers and taking the anxious bird, stroking its head gently to calm it.
"She's been missing you something awful," Roxana replied with a grin, sinking into the chair and resting her hand over her stomach as she watched him with the animal. "Circling the fort and wailing like a sad child."
"She loves me," he replied giving the bird a small bit of food Ana had pulled from her pocket.
"That she does," Ana laughed softly as Brenna came into the room, an angry look on her face.
"That man is impossible!" she growled, throwing her hands into the air.
"And what has Lance done now?" Roxana asked tiredly. This had been going on for days now.
"He wants me to move into his quarters now," she stated, huffing about the room, her arms thrashing about and her skirts flowing angrily behind her, trying to keep up.
"I thought you had," Tristan said, fussing over the hawk, who rubbed her head against his hand lovingly.
"Oh just because I slept in there once or twice," Brenna began.
"Nine days in a row," Roxana interrupted. "And you have hardly been from each others side in that time. Except when you are arguing"
"So that does not mean I have to give up my freedom," she began again.
"Ana is free," Tristan stated.
"But."
"You're scared, admit it," Roxana declared, not giving her a chance to continue.
"I am not scared of anything," she growled back, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You are so," Roxana stated rising and getting right in her face. "You're scared he does not love you and what is worse, you're terrified by the notion that you do love him. Admit it and things will be easier."
Brenna opened her mouth to retort, but could not find the words. Slowly she sighed and walked over to the bed, sinking down next to Tristan's legs. "I am," she answered at last. "Goddess help me that man frightens me to no end. How was it so easy for the two of you?"
"Our love was not sudden," Tristan answered, looking at her levelly.
Roxana sat in her chair and leaned forward, taking Brenna's hands in her own. "Do you love him?"
"Aye I do. At least I believe I do," she answered, frustration clear in her voice. "I do not know, it is all so sudden. And even if I do love him, how can I be sure he loves me?"
"Has he forced himself on you?" Tristan asked regarding her closely.
Brenna looked startled for a moment and then gazed down at her and Ana's hands, biting her lower lip as she thought. "No. He only holds me while we sleep," she replied. "He does not even force a kiss."
"Have you kissed yet?" Ana asked.
"Nay. He will kiss my cheek or the back of my hand, or the top of my head, but nothing more," Brenna sighed. "Perhaps I am really no more than a friend to him, and this is the only way he knows to comfort me."
"I doubt it," Tristan said, sending his hawk to the back of a chair near the window, noticing that Lancelot had moved into the doorway and was listening closely to the exchange. The two men locked eyes and Lance sent Tristan a pleading look to remain silent to his presence. Tristan merely nodded slightly and continued to watch Brenna.
"So do I," Ana began, giving her sisters hands a squeeze. "He has not touched the other women sense meeting you, and his eyes are always on you. Plus, he treats you different than he treats any of the other women at this fort. Including me, Eirwen and Sybil and he wishes you to move into his quarters," she brought a hand up and smoothed Brenna's hair, wiping a lone tear from her cheek. "Why do you think that is?"
"Because she is not like the others," Lancelot stated from the doorway deciding to make his presence known, causing the women to look up suddenly and see him standing there, a smile on his face as he gazed at Brenna.
"Why?" Tristan asked him, more for Brenna's curiosity than his own, but watching his brother's face closely as he answered.
"Because I love her," Lancelot replied truthfully, his eyes never leaving Bren's. He wasn't sure how he was so certain, but there was no other word for it. He was in love with the woman. Perhaps it was because she understood him like no other. Or maybe because he could see the innocence in her eyes, behind the mask of the brave warrior she put up for the world to see. The same innocence that she had seen it in him that first night they had met. Or maybe it was destiny. He did not know for sure, but he was certain it was love.
"How? How can you love me so soon?" Brenna released her sisters' hands as she rose, walking towards him, trying desperately to understand.
"Because you're an impossible harpy that never backs down from a fight and makes each day interesting," he reached out and cupped her face. "And because your innocent and kind hearted and when you're around I'm a better man," he continued, leaning over slowly, his lips a mere millimeter from her own. "And because, no man in his right mind could look at you and not love you," his lips claimed hers then and he pulled her too him, the kiss deepening as he wrapped his arms around her, and her hands came to tangle in his hair. After a few minutes like this, they pulled away, their breathing ragged as they gazed intently at one another. In a fluid motion Lancelot lifted her into his arms and was heading out of the sick room as she covered his face and neck in kisses.
Tristan and Roxana smirked knowingly at one another as they left the room. "Perhaps now they will be easier to deal with," she smiled, walking over and collecting the hawk, clucking at it with her tongue while she lifted her from the chair.
"I doubt it," he answered, moving the blanket and swinging his legs slowly over the side of the bed, only his under shorts maintaining his modesty and fresh bandages covering his wounds.
"And where are you going?" Roxana asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Ana, I must be out of here," Tristan stated, about to rise when her hand came to rest on his shoulder and stopped him.
"Let me fetch Dagonet and Bors and they can help you," she stated. "You are not yet healed and your injuries were extensive. I will not confine you here but I will not have you injuring yourself further either." She kissed his lips quickly before walking to the door then and looking down the hall, spotting Jols nearby. "Jols, could you come and keep Tristan company while I fetch Dag and Bors?"
"Sure thing Ana," he replied happily walking into the room and over to where Tristan sat. "How are you feeling today Tristan?"
"Better once I'm outside," the scout replied reaching over for his shirt. Jols began to help him dress as Ana walked out the door, thanking him as she did so, and down the hallway towards the exit. Stepping outside she looked at Tristan's hawk. "I told you he was doing better," she said to the creature, stroking its head. "Now, go hunt," with that she sent her arm into the air, the hawk taking flight and soaring into the clear blue sky.
She watched it for a moment before walking over towards the stables where Eirwen and Dagonet were playing with Lucan. "Dag, can you come help me?" she called over to the large giant of a man. "Tristan is insistent on coming outside today," she smiled at her sister as she walked over, ruffling Lucan's hair.
"Of course Ana," Dag rose, leaning over and giving Eirwen a quick kiss before heading for the sick room. "Lucan, go fetch Uncle Bors," he said to the small boy.
"Yes father," he answered back, running for the tavern.
"Father huh?" Roxana asked Eirwen with a grin. "And are you mother yet?"
"I am," Eirwen smiled as she watched the boy stop, turn and run back to her, throwing his arms around her legs.
"Be back soon mother," he grinned, hugging her knees as she soothed his hair before taking off again.
"So have things between you and Sir Dagonet become serious?" Ana asked with a sly grin, looping her arm through Eirwen's as they began walking towards the sick room.
"Last night they did," Eirwen answered, trying to hide the blush that crept to her cheeks.
"Eirwen you vixen!" Ana laughed, slapping her sisters arm playfully. "And when were you to tell me and how did this all come about so soon?"
"When we had a moment. Last night we both discovered how lost we become when looking in the others eyes, and it just progressed from there. Lucan had decided to stay with Bors bunch that night. I am actually beginning to believe he and the other children, and perhaps even Bors and Vanora had something to do with it," Eirwen smiled happily, a dreamy look in her eyes as they began down the hallway.
"Aye they did," Ana replied with an informed smirk. "And I can assure you they were not alone."
"Ana! How could you turn on me so?" Eirwen asked in mock hurt, clutching her heart and gasping, trying to suppress the laughter that was threatening to overtake her.
"Because the two of you are too slow for our liking," Ana grinned in response.
Eirwen sobered after a moment, the dreamy look returning to her face as she continued. "He is so gentle Ana, and so kind I do not feel I deserve him."
"You do and more because you are the same," Ana replied with a smile. "Just as I and my husband can be cold blooded killers, Bors and Van are passionate lovers, and Brenna and Lancelot are tortured souls hiding behind masks."
"And Arthur and Guinevere?" Eirwen asked looking sideways at her sister.
"They both have a strong sense of honor, although Arthur's loyalty is far greater than Guinevere's could ever be. Perhaps now that Bren and Lance have found one another, the Woad woman will let him be," Ana answered as they entered the sick room to see Tristan dressed and leaning heavily on Bors and Dagonet as they helped him from the bed. He was still unable to put much pressure on his right leg, so walking was difficult, and he was still very weak from the blood loss, but he had a look of triumph in his eyes as he looked at his wife.
"And where did you want to go today husband?" Ana asked, releasing Eirwen's arm and walking to stand before him, as Lucan ran forward, standing next to Eirwen and wrapping his arms around her waist.
"A ride would be nice," he stated, his face passive.
"Oh I'm sure it would," Ana replied with a giggle. "Now someplace realistic perhaps?"
He shrugged off Bors and draped his arm around Ana's shoulders, giving her a look.
"I said someplace realistic," she stated, slapping his chest playfully, earning a laugh from the knights, Jols and Eirwen and a slightly confused look from Lucan.
"The courtyard then," he answered, his arm not moving from her shoulders as they began to walk out, Dag on his right side and Bors nearby, just in case he began to falter. They made it out to the courtyard and got Tristan settled on one of the benches, Ana at his side and Eirwen plopping down next to her, pulling Lucan into her lap as Dagonet and Bors went off to tend the horses.
"Lucan, can you be a dear and go fetch me an apple?" Ana asked the boy who nodded enthusiastically before rushing off. "Such a good boy."
"Aye," Eirwen agreed, happy to have him. He was much to young to have been through what he had, and her and Dagonet were determined to make sure the rest of his childhood was a happy one. "Has Sybil told you what the child will be yet?" she asked turning to her sister.
"Nay. She only smiles and walks away. I think she may have told Gawain though," Ana answered, casting a glance at her husband, who had his eyes closed and a peaceful look upon his face as the breeze blew lightly against his skin, his left hand resting protectively over her stomach.
"And what of Gawain and Sybil?" Eirwen asked curiously. "He has seemed so morose lately and she does not act as if she sees it."
"I do not believe she does," Ana answered with a sigh. "She told him he was a good friend."
"Oh dear," Eirwen said as Tristan opened his eyes and turned to them.
"Gawain and Sybil?" Tristan asked, raising an eyebrow.
"He wishes to be more than a friend to her," Ana answered. "Galahad has told me all of it. Since he believes she only desires his friendship, then he will not pursue it."
"Why doesn't she act upon it though? It is obvious that she desires him," Eirwen stated, rather confused.
"Because, this is the first man that she has liked," Ana explained. "She's scared and confused and unsure what to do and I think, under her own impression that all he sees her as is as a friend or worse, a little sister," she let out a long sigh. "It's a shame too, because they would be a good match. Do you not think so Tristan?"
Tristan was silent for a long moment, pondering the idea. He did trust Gawain. He was a good man and a good warrior, as well as kind hearted and gentler than most of the others, himself included. He could take care of Sybil, but would know when to let her care for herself. And he had never known Gawain to take anything for granted. And Sybil, who was as quiet and calm as she was fierce and bloodthirsty was also very innocent, and Gawain would be good for her. Yes, Gawain would be the one he chose for his sister, if given the option. "Aye," he answered his wife, closing his eyes again and pulling her closer to him, her head resting against his chest as his arm returned to rest about her shoulders.
"Should we speak to them?" Eirwen asked with a smile, watching as Lucan walked as quickly as he could across the courtyard from the tavern, Ten struggling to keep up with her much shorter legs, the apple in her hands and a happy smile on her face.
"UNCIE TRISTAN," the little girl exclaimed, rushing forward as fast as she could.
"I will speak to Gawain," Tristan stated, releasing Roxana to pick the little girl up as she rushed forward, ignoring the pain in his arm as he lifted her and she wrapped her small arms around his neck and gave him a big hug.
"And we can speak to Sybil," Ana said to Eirwen, taking the apple from the child, just before she dropped it. "Brenna should join us as well."
"Uncie Tristan all better now?" Ten asked, grinning up at him.
"Almost better," Tristan replied, adjusting the girl on his left leg, leaving his right one outstretched to keep from upsetting the stitches. Since he had woken up she had been playing a little nurse maid, coming in and bringing him apples, sitting on his bed and telling him stories, while Ana tried not to laugh.
"Goody," she exclaimed clapping her hands together.
He smiled at her as Ana handed him the apple and his dagger, cutting off slices for the little girl who ate them happily.
"Mother, may I go help father in the stables?" Lucan asked after a bit, becoming bored with nothing to do.
"Of course but mind your arm," Eirwen said, hugging the small boy.
"Ten, would you like to go as well? Your daddy is in there with Uncle Dag," Ana asked the girl who chewed her bite of apple thoughtfully.
"Daddy with the horsies?" she asked after a moment, her eyes sparkling.
"Yes he is," Ana smiled at her.
"Can you take care of Uncie Tristan without me?" she asked quiet seriously as she looked at Ana.
Lucan merely rolled his eyes at the small child while Eirwen closed her own and pinched the bridge of her nose, Tristan bit his bottom lip and looked up at the sky in wonder and Ana held her breath, all trying not to laugh. "Oh I think I can manage," she answered slowly.
"Kay," she gave Tristan another hug and hopped down, holding out her hand for Lucan to take, which he did rather reluctantly before they both ran towards the stables to find their respective fathers. As soon as they were out of sight, the three adults burst into a fit of laughter.
xoxoxoxoxoxox
"So, why are we going riding again?" Sybil asked as she, Brenna, Roxana and Eirwen rode out away from the fort.
"So we could all speak," Ana answered. "We haven't had the chance to since the battle."
"And to give Bren and Lance a break to breathe," Eirwen teased as they rode further into the forest.
"And aren't we one to talk Lady Eirwen," Brenna snorted with a sly grin. "Dagonet's room is just across the hall from our own. And here I thought you were quiet all these years."
The three young women began to laugh as Eirwen blushed a deep scarlet.
"Oh now, let us leave Eirwen be," Ana said after a few moments. "I am just as bad when Tristan is able," she sent them all a grin. "Because when he is able, he is very able."
The girls began to laugh again except for Sybil, who shuddered. "I need not know of my brother in such a way," she stated, causing them to laugh harder. "Can we please talk of something else?"
"Alright my dear Sybil, what do you wish to speak of?" Ana asked after a moment. "A certain blonde haired knight perhaps?" When Sybil blushed the others knew they had her.
"So you have been noticing Sir Gawain," Bren teased.
"He's very nice and a good friend to me," Sybil's voice and face were impassive, except for the deepening blush on her cheeks.
"A friend eh?" Ana asked, bringing her horse in close and nudging her sister-in-law with her elbow.
"Is that all you wish him to be?" Eirwen asked, coming up along side her as well, boxing her in between them.
"What else would I want him as?" Sybil asked, begging the Goddess for them to change the subject. Or for some Saxons to attack. At the current moment she had no preference.
"You know what bloody well else," Bren said riding ahead of them and turning her horse. They created a triangle around Sybil and stared at her intently.
"What are you three doing?" she asked, trying to find a way out without cutting down her dearest friends. A task, they weren't making very easy.
"Not letting you run from this," Ana replied honestly. "If you tell us you only desire his friendship, and tell us true, than we will leave you be and enjoy our ride. But if you tell us otherwise, we will counsel you through it."
"I do not appreciate being surrounded like this," Sybil said annoyed. What did it matter how she felt about Gawain? He would never like her when he had women like Gabriella and the other barmaids fawning over him. Beautiful women who were used to being around men and expressing their feelings. Women who had actually been with a man before, other than on an afternoon hunt.
"Then do not dodge the question and we will move," Bren answered, as they all continued to watch her closely.
"He has others who are interested in him, he does not need my love," she answered, hoping that would suffice.
It didn't.
"He desires it though," Eirwen said softly. "Do you not desire his?"
"Yes…no…I know not!" Sybil was becoming very frustrated at this point.
"Do you care for him?" Ana asked gently, placing a hand on Sybil's shoulder.
"Aye, I do," she answered after a moment. "He makes me smile, and is good to me and good company, and very handsome."
"Then why not tell him?" Eirwen asked as the girls broke their formation and began to ride again.
"I cannot tell him that," Sybil stated, blushing again.
"He is the first man you have ever liked is he not?" Ana asked.
"Aye," was the muffled reply.
"Aw that is so sweet," Bren said with a grin, earning a kick in the leg from Eirwen. "Ow!"
"Well you need not tell him straight out if you do not wish," Ana began, ignoring the other two girls. "Simply, drop little clues and let him come to it on his own."
"But he does not feel that way towards me," Sybil argued.
"Not according to Gal," Bren snorted, earning another kick from Eirwen. "Damnit!"
"Are you certain about that?" Ana asked, rolling her eyes at Brenna and Eirwen who were now arguing in whispers.
"Aye, why would he?" Sybil looked at her sister-in-law, complete innocence in her eyes. "Besides, if there were a future for us, the Gods would show me."
"Maybe they want you to figure some things out on your own," Ana answered after a moment, turning to look at the path ahead of them. "My suggestion to you is this, ask him how he feels and be honest with him. If he does not care for you, then you will know and be able to move past it and no harm will come, but if he does, than perhaps things will only work towards the better."
"I do not know if I can," Sybil began slowly. "I have never had that sort of discussion with a man before. Usually I do not have much discussion with them at all."
"But you can talk to Gawain, I have seen you in the stables with him," Bren said, still rubbing her shin. "Just talk to him like that and you should be fine."
Sybil nodded slowly, still unsure and looking for a way out. "What of Tristan? You know how protective my brother can be."
"He thinks it a good match," Ana replied, smiling at her softly.
Sybil sighed and looked ahead, her face passive but her mind whirling with different thoughts and emotions.
"Do not fear, you will do fine," Ana assured her, knowing her baby sister-in-law was a virgin in all things when it came to men. Even on the hunt she did not speak to them much, or to her brother for that matter who was naturally silent himself. Sadly, like her brother, the other children had feared her for her gift, especially the boys, and the only friends she had ever had were the three sisters. That was why they had been so encouraged when she had begun to speak to Gawain and to befriend him. She had left training to be a Priestess because she said she desired a family and that kind of life, not the one that she was training for. And if she desired that, then they were going to make sure the man she chose was good for her, and to her.
"Besides, if he's not interested there's always Jols," Brenna said with a grin, causing the sisters to once again begin laughing as they continued their ride.
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Tristan was sitting quietly in the sick room with Dagonet and Lancelot, the latter of whom insisted they be there when he spoke to Gawain, considering they were all family now. And since he was still not at his best, it was easier to just concede than to argue with the dark knight.
"You wanted to see me Tristan?" Gawain asked, walking into the room and pausing when he saw the other two men as well. "What is this?"
"Sit," Tristan stated, indicating the bed Dagonet was already occupying. The sick room was a long, almost hallway like area, with small beds lining either side and plenty of supplies for stitching and herbs for tending to fevers and infections. Tristan was hoping that Merlin would concede to let him return to his and Roxana's quarters soon, despite the fact that there were stairs leading to it. He wanted desperately to be home in his own bed. One where his wife and he both fit comfortably.
Gawain walked across the room and sat, looking curiously between the three men, Tristan and Lancelot on the one bed, and he and Dag on the other. "Has something happened?" he asked after a moment, becoming anxious.
"You have feelings for Sybil," Tristan stated watching the younger knights face closely. "Is that not true?"
"Aye it is," Gawain sighed, knowing it was useless to lie to the scout, who missed nothing. "But I am friend to her only, and will remain as such, since that is all she desires."
"Well did you ask her?" Lancelot asked raising an eyebrow. "To be sure that is all she desired."
"She stated it herself. I will not push," Gawain answered sadly. She really was a beautiful girl, proving Bors comment wrong in every aspect, and as kind and gentle as she was bloodthirsty. And so innocent in her own way, that it did his heart good to speak to her, laugh with her and just sit in the stables, listening to the sounds of the horses with her by his side.
"What exactly were her words?" Dagonet asked after a moment.
"I could not ask for a better friend," he answered, remembering the conversation vividly. The three men looked at him oddly for a long moment before Lancelot broke out in a hearty laugh, Dag began to chuckle and even Tristan had to grin. "What is so funny?" Gawain asked angrily, not understanding how they could be laughing at such a heartbreaking moment in his life.
"How do you interpret that as not wanting something more?" Lancelot asked, still clutching his sides in mirth.
"How do you mean?" Gawain asked, slightly confused.
"Dagonet, is Eirwen not your friend?" Lancelot asked after a moment, finally gaining control of his laughter, but a smirk planted firmly on his face.
"Aye she is, and what of you and Brenna?" Dag asked, chuckling silently still.
"That she is, and the best I've had next to Arthur and you lot," Lancelot grinned. "And Tris, did you not say that Ana has always been your closest friend and confidant?"
"Aye," Tristan nodded, mirth still in his eyes as he watched Gawain. "And she started out as such."
"I am sorely disappointed in you Gawain, giving up so easily," Lancelot chided, the grin still in place.
Gawain sat for a long moment, pondering their words, and thinking back to the night on the battlements. "Ye Gods your right," he said and began to laugh heartily himself, for the first time since that night.
As he began to sober, Tristan spoke again. "If you wish to pursue her, I will not object," he held out his arm to Gawain who took it and they both shook. "But if you hurt her, I will cut you down." It was not a thereat but merely a promise, one that he had made to both Dagonet and Lancelot earlier that day, and all knew he meant to keep it.
"And I would let you old friend," Gawain replied, an understanding falling over them all.
xoxoxoxoxoxox
It was well after dinner that night and Sybil was pacing her room and had been since they had returned from their ride. She was a nervous wreck and not inclined to let anyone see that as she wrung her hands. How was she supposed to talk to Gawain about this? What was she just to stroll up to him and say, 'Oh I like you,' and punch him in the arm like they did as children? "This will never work," she muttered as a knock sounded at her door, startling her a bit.
"Sybil, are you well?" Gawain's voice came muffled from the other side as she froze in the middle of the room, staring at the door. "You missed supper and I wanted to make sure you were alright."
Shaking her head quickly and regaining her composure she strolled over to the door and opened it, and immediately regretted it. He stood on the other side, worry plain on his face and his large green eyes fixed on her, concern filling them. She realized then how easily it would be to drown in those eyes. "Gawain, please come in," she said after a moment, realizing she was staring and moved away from the door, holding it open to allow him entrance and shutting it quickly behind him.
"Sybil what is it?" he asked, still concerned, standing before her and taking her by the shoulders as he examined her face closely. "Are you unwell?"
"I am well, very well," Sybil said, moving from under his hands and once again pacing the room, unconsciously wringing her hands together. "I just have much on my mind."
"Would you like to discuss it?" Gawain asked, sitting on her bed and watching her closely. She had never been like this before. Normally she was as calm and collected as her brother, and this worried him. "You can tell me anything Sybil, you know this. Now what is bothering you?"
"Nothing of consequence, just something my sisters have told me today," she said, pausing to look at him. He looked at her with a patient understanding, his arms resting on his knees as he watched her. Their eyes met and the words flowed out of her before she could stop them. "They seem to think that you desire me as more than a friend," looking away quickly, trying to hide the blush on her face, she continued to speak rapidly. "I told them how absurd the thought was though, and you did not feel that way towards me, so I would not think much on it if I were you."
Gawain rose then and walked towards her, gently taking her chin in his fingers and lifting her head to look at him. "They were right Sybil," he replied, his voice low causing her heart to stop beating in her chest for an instant. "But if friendship is all you desire from me, than that is all you shall have. I will never force myself upon you, and if you wish that we do not speak on this again, then so be it. I will talk to your sisters on the marrow and tell them to let you be."
"You, would like more?" she asked, her passive demeanor falling away and the look of a shocked young woman taking its place.
"Aye, but do not feel pressured by that," Gawain stated, releasing her chin, glad that she still held his gaze. "If you only wish us to be friends, than I will hold to that."
"I don't," she stated after a moment, and was shocked to watch his face fall. "I mean I would like us to be more as well," she added quickly, cursing herself for not being more clear. "It is just, I have never been, close to a man before," she looked at him intently hoping he understood her meaning.
Gawain smiled broadly at her and gathered her into his arms. This had to be the happiest moment of his life. "Then we will go slow," he said as he held her, glad that she wrapped her arms around him in return. "There is no need to rush."
Sybil felt as if a great weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. He wanted her, same as she did him, and he was willing to wait until she was ready to take the next step. "I like that," she said, smiling as they stood in the middle of the room, holding one another.
Authors Note: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It gave me some trouble, but I think it is acceptable at least. What do you all thing? Please review, makes me happy.