The start of Harry Potter's sixth year at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was fast approaching. Subsequently, he was frantically gathering all of his required school supplies at Diagon Alley. He was there with his best friend Ron Weasley, Ron's parents, and Ron's little sister, Ginny. The reason for this was that three quarters of the way through the summer, Mrs. Weasley had become too worried by Harry's apathetic and short letters that she managed to convince Dumbledore to allow Harry to spend the rest of the summer holiday at the Burrow. At that moment, however, the boy who lived was separated from the group. He had sneaked away in order to browse the bookstore, Florish and Blotts, more carefully.

When he arrived at the bookstore, it was surprisingly not crowded. Harry was relieved. He wanted to examine the store "more thoroughly" in as much privacy as possible. With a surreptitious glance at the shop owner, he quickly made his way over to the section he knew to contain books described as featuring Adult Content.

With more furtive glances over his shoulder, Harry swiftly deshelved a paperback book titled, Spice Up Your Love Life: 50 Erotic Charms by Glimporama Fhacks. He flipped through the book, admiring the photographs, which of course moved because they were wizarding photographs. After he finished, he replaced the book on the shelf and was about to reach for a new title when he heard footsteps and raised voices approaching. Knowing that he would not be able to escape the Adult section without being seen by the new arrivals, Harry promptly dropped to the ground while simultaneously pulling out his invisibility cloak. He managed to completely cover himself in the cloak just as the people came into view.

He was shocked to see not a group of adults, but three girls who appeared to be about his age. 'Funny,' he thought, 'I've never seen them in school before.'

Harry didn't know, but the reason he had never seen these girls in school before was because they were Muggles. And not just any Muggles, American Muggles. From New Jersey. People all around the world still debate about whether this place actually exists. Harry certainly had never heard of New Jersey.

From under the invisibility cloak, Harry was able to get a good look at these girls. The first one was of average height, had long blonde hair, wore blue jeans, and a T-Shirt that supported something called the DMB or DMV or something. The next was extremely short, had long brown hair, and was dressed in a very promiscuous way. Her skirt was extremely tight and short. The third was about as tall as the blonde girl, had shortish light brown hair, and wore blue capris and a gray hoodie supporting some place called Binghamton University.

Harry broke out of his descriptive reverie when the girls starting laughing madly. The sluttish one was holding a book called, Floor Sex. They all seemed to think this was the funniest thing in the world. Harry supposed he'd have to take a look at it when they went away. For then, however, he decided to get comfortable because it didn't seem like they were going any time soon. As he was settling down more comfortably on his backside, the one with the hoodie suddenly said,

"Oh my god Crap! You're such a whore!"

The girl named Crap nodded emphatically, and put a pinky to the side of her mouth in a supposedly innocent gesture. The blonde one made a strange face, and then said to the hoodie girl,

"You're one to talk, AK. You have sex with every guy and have like a million children!" This made the girl named AK gasped with indignation and say,

"They were hot, ok? Yeesh, Genghis, At least I have good taste in men!"

Harry was shocked. That girl had many children? But she couldn't be much older than himself! He decided to continue to listen.

"Solomon is so hot!" Genghis shouted in offense. "Just because he's a druggie doesn't make him not hot!"

"Okay, okay, calm down," said AK calmly. We're not here to talk about Solomon and mine and Crap's whore-like actions. We're here to buy magic stuff!"

"Hell yes!" screamed Crap, who was acting very hyperactive. "If we learn magic I can hex Italian and Pervert!"

"That's the spirit," said AK, grinning. Genghis pulled out some green paper and waved it in the air.

"I want ice cream!" she bellowed. Harry didn't think that paper would get her any ice cream.

"Me too, but shouldn't we get magic wands first?" Crap said logically. Harry also didn't think these girls should be trusted with wands of their own.

"Yeah," said AK, "but I only have two tens, a five, and some nickels."

"Well should we go to that bank with the creepy goblins?" asked Genghis, frowning. Then her frown turned into a strange facial expression and she said, "They sure look tasty!" The other girls laughed like crazy at this, but Harry was very confused. He was now pretty sure these girls weren't witches, but didn't know how they could have gotten into Diagon Alley otherwise. Perhaps they had a family member who is a witch or wizard? Harry never found out, because the girls left after that. The last thing he heard them say was, "So long and thanks for all the fish!" to the cashier. He thought he heard that on the tele before.

'Ok well now that they're gone I can get back to business,' Harry thought happily, removing the cloak from around his body. The book entitled Floor Sex was banging itself repeatedly against the floor. Harry picked it up, opened it, took one look inside, and immediately slammed it shut. He was too horrified to do anything but drop it back to the floor. He got over it pretty quickly, and reached for a new title. He had just read one page of Sex: A Guide for First-Timers when he heard the door to the store open and close. He heard someone call, "Harry! Are you here?" but thought nothing of it, and kept reading.

He didn't look up until he heard a loud gasp of surprise. Harry's eyes widened and cheeks reddened as he saw Ron staring at him. "Uhmm," Ron mumbled, "I uhmm didn't know you were here. I mean I thought you were not here and stuff…" Then Harry realized that Ron must have been thinking the same thing as Harry. He felt very relieved.

"It's all right, mate, just stay away from the book humping the floor," he said to Ron, before going back to his book.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. Not mine.

Author: "Yeah, I was very bored, so I wrote this. Weeeooo!"