When Doves Cry

Chapter 11: Both Sides Now

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

A/N: I'm considering stopping writing author's notes at the beginning of my stories. Everything I need to say can be effectively covered in the endnotes.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

-Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell

Draco entered his kitchen the next morning to find Ginny at the stove pouring pancake batter into the pan in front of her.

"Morning Draco," she smiled and looked at him.

"Good morning Uncle Draco!" James exclaimed from his seat at the breakfast table.

"Good morning James," Draco replied.

"So Draco what'll it be? Chocolate chip, blueberry, or plain?"

Draco's eyebrows rose and without really thinking said, "Is this how Potter gets to wake up every morning?"

"Harry isn't ever home for breakfast," she said in a tone that suddenly reminded Draco of why Ginny was there in the first place.

Draco swallowed before putting on a false contemplative face and stating, "I think I'll just have to have some of each!"

Once Ginny had filled the entire breakfast table with food, she joined the other three and helped herself to some of her handiwork. Finished before either Ginny or James, Draco soon found himself treating Hope to her first taste of pancakes. Her mouth opened wide each time his hand approached her mouth with a small piece of the fried batter. Her eyes remained wide with excitement and happiness as he fed her pieces laced with chocolate. Draco watched in amusement as her face scrunched up each time that he slipped a blueberry section into the mix.

"James will you help me with the dishes?" Draco heard Ginny ask. He looked up and realized that she and her son were now too finished eating.

"I'll help you Gin," he offered.

"And tear you from the grasps of my baby girl's charms? Never," Ginny smiled.

The water hadn't been running thirty seconds when James shook his head at his mother.

"Mum, you forgot da music!"

Ginny smiled. "Right you are James." With a flick of her wand the music began playing through the kitchen.

Draco cringed as the pop beat worked its way into the opening lines "Don't ask. Tell me how you want me. Feel it in your heartbeat."

Hope was finally torn away from Draco's feeding hand as her attention turned to her mother and brother dancing as they washed the dishes. Draco too took the opportunity to watch, but unlike Hope who was giggling, he only found himself growing frustrated at how normal Ginny was behaving.

Once the dishes were done and Ginny shooed James off to play, Draco stood and joined Ginny at the kitchen counter.

"You're acting awfully…normal today," he commented.

Ginny stared at him for a moment. "Thanks?" she offered.

"You know what I mean Ginny. Your life isn't exactly normal right now."

"Actually Draco it is. Only this morning I cooked breakfast in a different kitchen this morning. And today I was lucky enough to have someone to keep Hope busy while James and I did the dishes. Thank you by the way."

"Ginny, Harry isn't just at work today. He's home, and he's not well. Christ Ginny, he's practically dying!" Draco said annoyed.

Ginny remained silent as she poured herself a cup of steaming coffee.

"Gin," Draco quieted his voice, using the honest tone he didn't speak with to anyone but her. "You can't just ignore this."

"Yes. I can," she stated sitting down on one of the stools at the counter. "And I am."

Draco sighed and looked at Ginny.

"Ginny, I know that you're mad at me, and I know…" He stopped when Ginny let out a short laugh.

She shook her head and looked up at him, smiling just slightly.

'I'm not mad at you," she laughed again before adding. "Lord knows I should be, but I'm not. I don't think I could handle it. I'd probably just lie down and die if I were mad at you too. I really think I would."

Ginny's smile had suddenly faded, and Draco could see the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. However, before they did Ginny fought them back by forcing another smile toward him and then continued drinking her coffee.

Ginny was sitting at Draco's desk in his study with her monthly planner out in front of her. She frowned as she flipped through the past few months and back to the current one.

"That can't be right," she mumbled to herself, quickly looking back through it again.

Before she was able to get back to the present she was interrupted by someone bursting thoroughly the study doors. She looked up expecting to see Draco, but was surprised when she saw her brother rushing toward her.

"Ron! What are you doing here?"

"Ginny I have to talk to you," his voice and face serious.

"Ok," she agreed.

"I know you left Harry Gin, but you don't know everything. Harry hasn't been cheating on you," Ron spat out in one breath.

"Ron…" Ginny tried to stop him.

"No Ginny! You have to hear me out on this. I went to your house to talk to you about what Hermione told me, but you weren't there. Gin I know you've been having problems with Harry lately and I know he's never home, and honestly I asked him once if he was cheating on you, but I should have known better than to think that and should you. Gin, Harry's been working on a fake secret mission from the ministry. It was all a set up to destroy him. That's how Hermione found out. There's a huge investigation going on at the ministry right now. All of the people involved are being asked to testify and the ministry official behind it had been temporarily put in Azkaban. But Gin, that's why Harry's been so off lately. He's been on the island where he was before, and the creatures there dirtas…ditira…whatever they are, they've been weakening him. When I went to see you Ginny I saw him…he's not doing well Ginny. Snape's even there, trying to cure him…but Ginny he…."

Ginny closed her eyes, finally unable to listen any longer.

"Ron I know…"

"No Ginny. Didn't you listen to anything I just said?"

"Yes Ron. But I already knew. I know everything."

"What? Then why are you here? Harry needs you right now!"

"And I've needed him for the past three months of my life!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Ginny, he thought he was protecting you! He thought he was protecting all of us! Harry thought he was doing what was best for everyone."

"He should have talked to me about it, instead of lying to me for months."

"He couldn't tell anyone Ginny. He didn't even tell me or Hermione!"

"You and Hermione aren't Harry's wife! You don't have two children with him and you haven't been left alone for the past for the three months, because a man that you put all of your faith and beliefs in for three years didn't trust you enough to keep one stupid little secret." Ginny scowled at her brother. "I have two little children Ron, and I refuse to let them grow up in a home where their parents can't trust each other. James has already had enough instability in his life, and I don't want Hope to have the same early childhood that James had. I'm not going to have her faith and trust in a man that I can't even believe in anymore."

"Ginny you…"

Ginny laughed bitterly. "Forget it Ron, just forget. You go be by Harry's side yourself," she paused. "You know I almost wish he had been cheating. Then at least I'd have my family's support in this."

"Of course I support you Ginny. Of course I support you."

Ginny looked up at her brother and wiped the small tear that escaped from he tear duct.

"Thank you Ron. You don't know how much that means to me."

Draco wasn't surprised, that Ginny wasn't surprised when he lay down next to her in her bed that night. She didn't open her eyes when his added weight shifted the bed, but he knew that she was awake.

"I heard your conversation with Ron today," he told her.

"You were listening to my brother talk? Shocking," Ginny replied, still not opening her eyes.

"I don't want you to think that I'm not on your side Ginny, you know I'd do anything for you."

"I know."

"But, I know that you and Potter can get through this."

Ginny finally opened her eyes. "What makes you so sure?"

"You've loved Harry Potter your entire life."

"Sometimes love isn't enough."

Draco opened his mouth to respond but Ginny cut him off.

"Don't even try to argue. You said it yourself."

"Well it's the truth Ginny," Draco snapped, annoyed with her pessimism. "Sometimes love isn't enough." He then softened his tone. "But sometimes it is."

When Ginny remained silent, Draco slowly began to lift himself off of the bed. He stopped his Ginny's small feminine hand reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"I want it to be enough," she whispered. She was now crying and Draco lowered himself back down on to the blankets and pulled her closer to him.

"I want it to. I want to forgive him and I want to trust him. I want to say 'I love him and that's all that matters' But I can't. I can't do it. It almost as if, as if I don't know what love is anymore."

It was now Draco's turn to be rendered silence, as he suddenly felt guilty for underestimating the pain that the most loving person he'd ever met, had been experiencing."

A/N: Sorry for the delay, and for the short chapter. Between a missing muse, finals, research papers and other big things that have been going on for the past month, I've found very little time to sit down and write. Truth? I really want to be done with the story. So, over the next few weeks I'll be trying my best to get chapters out as quickly and possible and finish this thing up. Thank you for your patients.

Love,

Bella.

PS: Dishwashing Song; Jump (For My Love), Joni Mitchell