Disclaimer: No, I don't own the X-Men. I do own Raven and Lightning, though.
Reviews:
To Cat2Fat900: Oh, you enjoyed the cake. :D And Ralph liked his flame thrower :D Oh good. It's fun being right every once in a while, isn't it? As for taking Johnny's flame thrower away. . . Raven has control issues. Big time control issues. Hmm. . . perhaps I should send her to counselling with Psyche-Out from Red Witch's Middleverse. After all she can time travel, but of course dimension hopping being illegal, she might get into a little trouble. Lol. Got hide from the DPD. Lol.
To Rogue Gal: Thank you.
To abril4: Hee hee, well, Gambit's kinda figured that out. But Rogue still has no clue. Lol. Thanks and I'm glad you like it.
To Nightshade-89: Hmm, Robin Hood. . . Logan in a chicken outfit. Kurt as Friar Tuck . . . lol. Sounds intriguing. Remy is the Prince of Thieves already. Lol. It might be the next Raven and Lightning production. Glad you liked this chapter. Lol. Being a mother myself, I agree with her. Get your rest while you can.
To Crash Slayer: I own it:) As for the line, I thought you'd like that. I put it in just for you.
To Kyo-Kitty: They should. I'm thinking of doing Robin Hood next. Lol. Yes, she is. You get some invisble cookies for getting that. Her little sister's name is Rachel.
A/N: Here is the Remy vs. Logan scene. Like the title? Lol.This is going to be another long chapter, though not as long as the last one.
Sleeping Beauty
Scene 5: This Means War!
"Okay, please, please, please, can I have my flame thrower back!" begs St. John Allerdyce on his knees.
"No!" Raven and Lightning say at the same time.
"But if I can't have that, can I have my lighter back! Please! Pretty please! With Sugar on Top!"
"No!" They say again. "You may not!"
"Okay, that's just freaky." Scott says holding his costume in his hands and shaking his head.
"But, but . . ."
"No buts!" They say again.
Scott and Jean look at them strangely. Jean is happy because she doesn't have to wear a costume for this scene. "You're right. But what's scarier, Them talking in unison, or Pyro begging?" She says.
"I'm not sure. . ." is his answer.
"I promise not to set anything on fire! I promise! Please!"
Raven looks at the pyromaniac before her and smiles sweetly. Lightning backs up instinctly. He knows when she's annoyed. "She takes the lighter out of her pocket. "You want it?" He nods like a little puppy dog. "Go get it!" she charges the lighter and throws it outside the studio. Pyro chases it.
"Uh, are you sure that was a good idea?" Lightning asks nervously as an explosion is heard in the street. The explosion is followed by a string of Australian curses as John limps back into the building.
"Now, why'd you have to go and do that to poor Johnny, sheila?"
"Well, maybe it will teach you a lesson." Raven says sweetly. "Don't mess with me."
"Can we start, yet, Ravie?" Lightning asks.
"Yes, yes, places, places! Lights! Camera! Action!"
The scene opens in the banquet room of a large castle. The table is covered in food. Fred runs to the table, but Raven pulls him back. He starts to cry. "Freddie, you can have the leftovers after the scene, okay?" Raven says to him as if he was a very small child. He nods. They start over.
Charles is sitting in a wooden wheelchair next to the window. He's wearing gloves so he doesn't get a splinter in his hands. "No sign of her yet, James." he sighs.
Logan is standing over the banquet. He is sticking a claw in a giant turkey. "Course not, good half hour 'til sunset." he growls taking a bite out of the turkey and spiting it out. "Did Kitty make this?"
Kitty walks off with her hands behind her back, whistling the whistle of the not so innocent. She backs right into Piotr. "I'm, like, so sorry."
"Don't be Katya. I don't mind." Lance is scowling at them.
"Uh hmm." Raven glares. "Can we get back to work now?"
Charles still looks worried. "Come now, buck up." Logan glares at Raven. "Battle's over. Girl's as good as here."
"I know, James, but after sixteen years of worrying, never knowing." Charles wheels over to the table.
"The past, man, all in the past." He mutters under his breath, "She had to give me the optimistic part didn't she." He claps his hand and Rahne runs in dressed as a page with a tray carrying two full glasses and a bottle of wine. Actually it's sparkling apple cider. Logan wanted real wine, but Raven insisted due to the fact that Rahne would be drinking it too. "Tonight, we toast the future, with something I've been saving for sixteen years." He grabs the bottle and fills two larger glasses with it. "Here," He hands Charles a glass. "To the future!"
"Right, to the future!" Charles says.
"Skumps!" he says and then turns to Raven, "Skumps?"
She shrugs. "I don't know what it means either."
Rahne drinks the "wine" from the smaller cups and then takes out a strange looking instrument.
Charles and Logan start singing, against their own will. The song consists of a toast to their children getting married. They lock arms and drink. Well, Logan drinks. Charles can't reach his drink. Rahne also sneaks a drink behind her instrument. "Excellent vintage," Logan says. Rahne nods in agreement. "And now, to the new home!"
"New home?" asks Charles.
"Children will need a nest of their own, a place to raise their little ones."
"Well, I suppose, in time."
"To the home!" Logan growls. They then start singing, "Skumps, skumps, a toast to the home." Logan is glaring at the two directors who seem to be enjoying his humiliation. And while they drink, Rahne does a dance and plays her lute until the strings break. Logan claps again and says, "The plans!" Rahne runs off and grabs a scroll and then sticks it under Charles' nose. "What do you think? Nothing elaborate of course. Fourty bedrooms, dining hall, honeymoon cottage, really."
"You're building it already?"
"Built, bub, finished. Lovebirds," he really growls at that one. He can't stand the thought of Gumbo and Stripes being called lovebirds. "can move into it tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? But, James! They, They're not even married yet!"
"We'll take care of that tonight. To the wedding." He starts pouring wine into Charles' drink. He pushes it away and Rahne runs to catch the liquid in her lute.
"Now, hold on James. I haven't even seen my daughter yet, and you're taking her away from me!"
"Getting my Remy, aren't you?" he spits out.
"Yes, but. . ."
"Want to see our grandchildren, don't you?"
"Of course, but . . ." Rahne is hugging the lute tightly to her bosom.
"No time to lose. Getting on in years, Ha ha ha." he forces the last part out.
"Now be reasonable, James."
"Are you saying I'm not?"
"It's in the script, Logan." Charles reminds him.
"Oh, yeah, right, sorry."
"After all, Anna Marie knows nothing of all this." Rogue and Gambit are laughing on the side of the stage at he antics of their "fathers." (1) Rahne drinks the wine from the lute and then falls under the table, pretending to sleep.
"Well?" he snarls.
"Well, it may come as quite a shock."
"A shock! My Remy a shock? What's wrong with my Remy? Why doesn't your daughter like my son?" he accuses.
"Now, now."
"I'm not so sure my son likes your daughter!"
"Now see here!"
"I'm not so sure my grandchildren want you for a grandfather!"
"You, you, you unreasonable, pompous, old windbag! That's the best we can come up with?"
"Well, I certainly did not write the script, Professor." Raven informs him.
"Oh no! It would be much better if you wrote it." Lightning says sarcastically.
"Don't start, Lawr." she warns. "Back to the play."
"Unreasonable? Pompous? Engarde sir!" he grabs a fish off the table. "And I can't just use my claws, why?"
"Because I said so," Raven answers.
"I'm warning you, James, this means war!" Charles grabs a platter as a shield as Logan attacks him with the fish.
"Forward! For Honor! For country! For. . ." This fish goes limp in his hands and he looks at it funny, like he just realised it was a fish, not a sword. He starts to laugh, though it sounds very forced. He points at the fish and Charles starts laughing as well. "What's this all about, anyway?"
"Nothing, James, nothing at all."
"Children are bound to fall in love with each other." Logan puts the fish in his belt where a sword would go.
"Precisely! And as for grandchildren, I'll have the Royal Woodcarvers start work on the cradle tomorrow!"
"Splendid! King size, of course?"
"Certainly! To the Woodcarvers' Guild!" Charles says pouring another glass of "wine." No music starts. The two kings look confused. They hear snoring coming from under the table. Charles lifts the tablecloth. There is Rahne, fast asleep. Raven shakes her head, Rahne wasn't supposed to really fall asleep.
Just then, Sam comes out in his page outfit with his horn and blows it. "Announcing his royal highness, Prince Remy."
"Remy!" growls Logan and hurries out to met his son. Sometime during all of this he has lost his fish-sword. Fred looks anxiously at Raven and she nods so he runs to the table and starts eating. When he get to the turkey he takes a big bite and then spits it out. Not even Fred will eat Kitty's cooking.
Remy is seen sitting on top of the horse costume that consists of Scott and Bobby. Bobby is getting overcome with heat and ices the inside of the back end. Some of it hits Scott and he screams, "Bobby!"
"Scott, horses don't talk. Please remember that." Lightning sighs.
"But Bobby..." Scott starts.
"Please, don't make Raven mad." he begs, glancing at the furious blue girl beside him.
"Remy!" Logan tries to act cheerful. "Remy!" He waves the boy over. "Remy! Hold, Remy!" Remy pulls the reigns on Scott and earns a painful wince from the one-eyed leader of the X-Men. "Hurry, boy! Hurry! Change into something suitable!" Logan orders. "Can't meet your future bride looking like that!" Rogue blushes off stage as Raven and Lightning smirk at her.
"Mais I have met her, Father." Remy laughs as he calls Logan "Father."
"You have? Where?"
"Once upon a dream." Remy grabs Logan and starts humming the song and dancing around with him.
Logan is angry and starts yelling, "Remy, stop! Stop that! I mean it, bub! Stop!" Remy laughs and stops twirling about the time Logan produces his claws. "Now, what's all this dream nonsense?" he asks as he retracts his claws.
"But it wasn't a dream, Father." Rogue cracks up and earns a glare from the Wolverine. "I really did meet her." Remy winks at Rogue. She sighs contently for a moment, then realising what she's doing, glares at him for the rest of the scene.
"The Princess Anna Marie! I refuse to say 'Good Heavens.' Oh great, I just said it. We must tell Charles! Why this is the most . . ." Raven starts banging her head against the clipboard.
"I didn't say it was Anna Marie." Remy grins, stopping Logan from going up the stairs into the castle. He's still upset about not using the third person to speak, though.
"You most certainly did. You said. . ."
"I said I met t'e girl I'm gonna marry. I don't know who she was, a peasant fille, I suppose." He winks Rogue again. Kitty catches on and whispers to Piotr. She giggles and Piotr smiles at Rogue. Rogue glares at Piotr and Kitty. Though, inside, she's very happy.
"A peasant girl? You gonna marry a peasant girl? Why Remy, You're joking?" Logan nods his head and grabs Remy's shoulders. He looks at the horse. The horse shakes it's head. "No! You can't do this to me! Give up the throne? The Kingdom? For some nobody? No offense Stripes."
"None Taken," Stripes replies.
"By Harry! I won't have it! You're a prince! And you're gonna marry a princess, bub." Logan continues taking his claws out again.
Remy gulps, "Now, F-Father, you're living in t'e past. This is t'e fourteent' century. Nowadays . . ."
"Nowadays, I'm still the King, bub. And I order you to come to your senses!" He sticks his claws right in front of Remy's face.
"And marry t'e fille, I love." Remy says weakly as he climbs onto the "horse," never taking his eyes off those claws. Goodbye, Father."
"Goodbye. Marry the girl you love, wait no! Come back here, Remy! Remy!" Logan calls after him as he tries to ride away.
"Remy t'inks t'is would have been a lot easier if ya had just hired a real horse, Peu d'ange." (2) he mutters to Raven.
"It's so hard to get mad at him when he calls me that." she sighs dreamily. (3)
"Uh, Raven? Scene's not over yet." Lightning says.
"Oh, so you think I forgot that?"
"No, of course not. Can we get on with it?"
"You don't have to yell."
"I'm not yelling yet, Raven dear."
"Whatever. Logan."
Logan sits on the steps of the palace and sighs sadly, "How am I going to tell Charles?"
"Now, it's over." Lightning says, sticking out his tongue at her.
"Cut, That's a wrap people. Pray that tomorrow you'll all be a little better at this acting thing."
"I'm starting to believe Mrs. - I mean Rogue is the only person here who can act."
"Lightning!" Raven warns.
"What? I caught myself!"
"You are so dead."
"Oh please, what are you going to do? Cut my head off again?"
"I might! Don't try me!"
I believe I promised something about sparks flying. Just then Jubilee hits Pyro with sparks. Oh, there they are. "Ra-ven!" she complains. "John was drooling on me!"
"I'll kill him!" Bobby says.
He comes after Pyro ready to ice him. John runs behind Raven. "Save me! Give me my flame thrower! Please! I swear I was watching Wanda! Not Jubilee! Wanda!"
Wanda smirks at him, "Bobby, leave it to me."
He looks helplessly at Raven. She smirks at him. "Fat chance. He's all yours, Wanda. We're out of here."
And with that, Raven and Lightning are gone in a gust of wind. And we'll leave what happens to Pyro up to the reader's imagination. Ha ha ha ha!
A/N:(1) The men are only their father's in the play. But if you are reading A Split in Reality, then you know about Rogue . . .
(2) "Peu d'ange" equals "Little angel."
(3)No, Raven does not have a crush on Gambit. That is sick and wrong. Those of you who have tasted my invisible cooking know just how sick and wrong that is.
Next up, Rogue becomes Anna Marie and follows the little green light. Now, all Raven has to do is come up with a little green light. Hmmm. . . it'll keep her busy until the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed this one and review please. :)