Crack Theories

By CoffeeHouse101

Disclaimer- Gundam Seed ain't ours.

Chapter One: Light Bulb

Magically, all the cast characters of this fic shall be... CHIBIFIED.

That's right, folks. They're all SMALL and CUTE.

Anyhow, Chibi!Crack Theories will now tell you... the story of the light bulb.

so. One day, Chibi!Kira was sitting in his cottage in the woods, wishing he could stay up later than the sunset. "Oh, I wish I could stay up later than the sunset!" Chibi!Kira cried in DESPAIR.

"I know how you can do that!" said Chibi!Athrun, Kira's best friend. "What you have to do is get a steady source of light, and then you stay up as long as you want!"

"that's ingenious, Athrun!" Thus, Kira set out on a quest... The LIGHTBULB QUEST! (Cue cheesy video game music).

Kira grabbed a torch, and headed out into the woods. As he walked, he encountered a squirrel. "Hello, fuzzy woodland creature. I am looking for a steady source of light. Can you help me?"

the squirrel, being the stupid creature that it was, looked at him and chattered. Kira's eyes narrowed. "Can you help me?"

The squirrel tilted its head, and chattered again.

Kira got angry. "ARGH! Fine then! Die, stupid demon squirrel, DIE!" He ran after the squirrel, trying to kill it.

The squirrel, however, evaded him. They ran around in circles, Kira trying to kill the squirrel and the squirrel wondering why a small, cute human was trying to kill him.

Finally, Kira got fed up. "ARGH!" he threw his torch at the squirrel. It hit dead on, and the squirrel lit up like a Christmas tree with candles on it.

Kira dropped to his feet in awe. "Thank you, God, for this blessed gift of LIGHT!" He reached out to pick up the squirrel...

...And promptly dropped it to nurse his burning hand.

THUS is the creation of the first squirrel-light bulb and the first light bulb burn.

Now, I shall tell you the story of the basketball...

Meanwhile...

PhoenixMage sits at the computer, grinning evilly as she types. TheAflamed peers over her shoulder, reading what has been written.

"What the... PhoenixMage! Stop writing about squirrels!"

"But- but they're evil! the world must be warned!"

"I know, but still! Get on with the story!"

PhoenixMage pouts.

"GET ON WITH IT!"

PhoenixMage sighs. "But… but… this story is crack theories!"

"Oh. Okay then. Carry on, carry on."

We would now like to say that now squirrels were actually harmed in the making of this fic…