Letting Go
Chapter Four
DISCLAIMER: Haha! I'm back! I'll bet you thought you could get rid of me THAT easy, did ya? Well, TOO BAD! I'm still alive and kickin' with tons more to post!
Oh, yeah. I forgot the disclaimer (sheepish grin). I don't own them any more than I did before... boy, I'm running out of interesting ways to do a disclaimer... I'd better go meditate... (walks off to meditate)
"Do you have to go?" asked Joe. He had been enjoying staying on the ranch all the time and being with his family. But now, only four short weeks into his summer vacation, his Pa had to go to San Francisco on a business trip.
Ben noticed the very pathetic expression on Joe's face and squatted down in front of his youngest boy.
"I'm afraid I have to, son," he said. "But I'll only be gone a week." Noticing that Little Joe still looked very upset, he added, "Tell you what—as soon as I get back, we'll go on a fishing trip, just the two of us. Okay?"
Joe grinned a little and nodded, wondering how he would convince Hoss to assume full responsibility of the pups while he was out fishing for the day. The pups had been growing fairly quickly over the past two weeks. They had grown a full five inches each, except Tomahawk who had grown only four inches. It was soon becoming obvious who was the runt of the litter. No matter, it was getting harder and harder to keep the rapidly-growing pups a secret from Hop Sing and Pa.
"Bye, Pa," the three boys said in unison, waving as their father climbed aboard the stagecoach.
"Bye, Joe, Adam, Hoss," Ben waved back. The stagecoach driver flicked the reins and had soon disappeared around the corner of Main Street.
The remaining Cartwrights just stood there a moment, staring at the cloud of dust the stage had created just down the street. After the dust had cleared, Adam spoke up: "We'd better get back to the ranch. We've left those wolf pups alone long enough as it is, and who knows what damage they could have done in this amount of time?"
"Yeah," Joe agreed, reluctant to leave the place where he had last seen Pa.
All three of them climbed onto the wagon—Adam up front and Hoss and Joe in back—and rode towards home.
-
Joe and his brothers were sitting on Joe's bedroom floor, watching the pups tug on each other's ears and scamper playfully around. Adam sighed.
"I can't believe I'm sitting here watching six wolf pups play this close," he said.
"In the house," added Hoss.
"I can!" Joe piped up brightly. "Isn't it great?"
"Well, it was before, but now I ain't so sure this was a good idea," Hoss admitted.
"What do you mean?" asked Joe, frowning.
The two older Cartwright boys glanced at each other nervously. Neither wanted to hurt Joe's feelings any more than necessary.
"Well… tell 'im, Adam," Hoss prompted.
"Tell me what?" Joe questioned, beginning to feel more than a little uncomfortable. What were his brothers talking about? They didn't seriously want him to tell Pa, did they?
"It's like this, Joe," began Adam. Joe was surprised to notice that he sounded very worried. "For the past few nights we've been hearing wolves howling outside. I think it would be best if you were to… well… let them go."
"WHAT!" cried Joe, his voice going up an octave.
"Now here us—me—out," Adam continued hastily. "No matter how hard we try, humans can never teach wolf pups to hunt as well as real wolves can. And if we release them when they're older, they'd never survive. You don't want that to happen, do you Joe?"
Joe was speechless for a moment. The pups were only six weeks old, and they wanted him to leave them with a wolf pack that might not even accept the young pups?
"R-Release them?" Joe finally managed to choke out.
"Well, ya didn't plan on keepin' em forever anyway… did ya?" asked Hoss.
Joe didn't really want to admit that he did indeed have an idea like that in mind, so he didn't say anything.
"Besides, them wolf pups are growin' teeth, and Pa's startin' ta wonder why I have bandages all over my fingers," Hoss announced. He held up his hands, displaying the bandage-covered index and middle fingers. "I'm plumb runnin' outta fingers ta feed them little critters with!"
"You have to let go, Joe," Adam said.
Much to everyone's shock, Joe cried out, "NO! You CAN'T let them go so soon! They're just pups still, and they need us! If you don't wanna help, thenfine! But I'M keepin' them till I feel they're ready to leave!"
Joe ran out of the house to the barn, mounted his pony and galloped away as fast as he could, leaving his brothers to look out the window at him in surprise.
"Now what?" mumbled Adam, turning away from the window. "He can't possibly keep those pups a secret for very much longer, and if we don't send them out with that wolf pack soon, the pack will leave and we'll lose our chance."
"But we cain't jist up and take the pups without Joe's permission," protested Hoss. "After all, it was him who done started this whole thing and let us in on the secret."
"True, but those pups have to go back to the wild soon, or they'll die," said Adam. Hoss nodded mutely, still replaying the past ten minutes in his mind.
-
Joe rode Starlight as hard as he dared. It wasn't very far to his mother's grave, and he certainly didn't need to ride so quickly to get there, but the speed of the horse beneath them helped to clear his mind a little. Riding fast always made Joe feel better, but it made his pa a little nervous. After all, hadn't Mama died of a broken neck after riding her horse too fast?
Joe finally arrived at the well-kept grave of Marie Cartwright. Joe tethered Starlight to the nearest tree and knelt down before the tombstone that read:
In Loving Memory
Marie Cartwright
It was such a lovely place, in the shade of several tall, majestic pine trees and overlooking the lake. It was Joe's favorite place to think whenever he was upset, confused or angry about something. And right now, Joe was all three.
"How could they even suggest such a thing?" Joe asked his mother. "They're my pups and I found 'em and I'm keeping 'em. I love 'em so much, Mama, but I don't want them to die, either. Oh, please help me, Mama!"
Joe felt tears stinging in his eyes and quickly brushed them away.
There was a slight breeze and the flowers that Pa had planted near the grave that spring swayed gently, as if Marie had actually heard her son's cry.
"I don't know what to do," Joe continued in despair. "I really want them to stay with me, but Pa would never let me. Even Hoss is abandoning me! If only you were here, Mama; then you could help me convince Pa and Adam and Hoss that I could keep them. I remember that Pa would always listen to you. What should I do?"
Joe knew there wouldn't be any reply from his mother, but discussing his troubles out loud as if she really were there made him feel a little better, and sometimes he even thought of a solution that would never have occurred to him otherwise.
Little Joe just sat there for a few more minutes, gazing at his mother's tombstone and the lovely flowers that surrounded the area. Joe wished he could just sit there forever, but he knew he had to get back before his brothers started to worry. Besides, now that Adam and Hoss were no longer on his side, he had full responsibility of the pups. And if he wanted them to survive, he needed to feed them. Now that they were getting their teeth in, they were mostly dependent on raw meat, which was harder to sneak out of the kitchen than the milk had been. But Joe knew that he could pull it off, with or without his brothers' help.
He mounted Starlight and headed for home. He rode slowly this time, contemplating how, when and if he should release the pups. And if he didn't let them go, how would he convince Hop Sing and Pa—especially Pa—to let him keep wolves in the house? Maybe they could stay in the barn?
Joe was home. He dismounted Starlight, put her in her stall and walked into the house as if nothing had happened.
Adam was sitting in the living room, reading, when his youngest brother came home.
"And where have you been?" asked Adam, sounding annoyed. The truth was that he had been getting kind of worried about Joe. After all, the kid had been so upset when he had left. But Adam couldn't let on that he was a pushover at heart, so he took on an annoyed appearance instead of a worried one.
"Out for a ride," Joe told him vaguely as he walked into the kitchen and put some chicken into a bowl. Joe had noted when he rode up that the chicken that had so rudely inflicted damage upon his bottom the other day was no longer there, and Joe suddenly realized what had become of it. Despite himself, Joe couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the obnoxious chicken—but not sorry enough not to carry the bowl up to his room and feed the chicken to the wolf pups.
Although the pups didn't really need to be handed food any more, Joe still liked to rip off a piece for them and hand it to them. Today was no exception: as all the pups crowded around the relatively small bowl to get their share, Joe would manage to dig his hands in there some way to tear off a chunk and let a pup eat from his hand.
"Here ya go," Joe said kindly, holding out a piece of chicken for Flapjack. The pup savagely tore it from Joe's hand, giving the boy's fingers a good nip.
"YOW!" Joe cried, quickly putting his fingers in his mouth to stop the bleeding and pain. Although his saliva did put an end to the blood, his fingers still throbbed. He took them out of his mouth and examined them; they were abitred and were already beginning to swell a little.
"What happened?" asked Hoss. He had heard his brother's cry and came in to make sure that everything was alright.
"Flapjack nipped me—by accident," Joe said, still shaking out his sore hand while the pups continued to gobble up the chicken.
Hoss took Joe's hand gently and examined the bite.
"It don't look too bad," Hoss announced. "But now do you see why me an' Adam was tryin' ta git ya to put them wolf pups where they belong? They're gittin' too big fer us now."
"NO," Joe said vehemently. He yanked his hand away from Hoss and continued to nurse the injured area himself.
Hoss knew he was pushing his luck with his short-tempered brother, but he continued anyway: "Joe, it's like Adam said—ya gotta let go."
"I said NO," Little Joe repeated, examining the bite.
Hoss sighed and stood up. "Alright, brother, they're yer pups. But I ain't responsible for 'em no more. You hear me?"
"But you promised!" Joe cried.
"All I promised was that I wouldn't tell, and I won't. But I didn't say nothin' about promisin' ta help ya raise 'em," Hoss declared. He left the room, leaving Joe to stare after him. He had no idea how betrayed Joe was feeling at that moment.
"Well, who needs him?" Joe muttered to himself. "You didn't mean to nip me, did ya, Flapjack?"
The pup just continued gorging himself on the rest of the meat. Joe sighed and, for the first time since that last day of school, he thought that he just might be wrong.
Me: Before we even start an argument this time, do the replies.
Dick: I can't.
Me: Why not?
Dick: There's nothing to reply to.
Me: WHAT!
(checks)
Me: Awww, no reviews. (sob)
Dick: Can I go now?
Me: Maybe, I think I still need you for another story I'm working on.
Dick: Not again!
Me: Yes, again! Now get over here!
(drags him out of the room)