Let the Dead Bury the Living
By Thalia Drogna
T'Pol found Archer going over all the available leads on where Nash might be in the Command Centre. T'Pol noted that the same files had already been read several times.
"I have spoken with Soval," said T'Pol.
"What did he have to say?" Archer stared at the screen in front of him, distracted and not really paying attention to T'Pol. He didn't see how Soval could help him find Nash.
"He told me who called the Dohn Zhu," said T'Pol.
"Is that significant?" asked Archer.
"It may be. Vulcan law is administered by Law Archons. According to protocol, only a Law Archon may call for a Dohn Zhu, because only they are considered to posses the knowledge required to judge whether a Vulcan should be called to account for their actions. Each consulate on Earth is appointed a Law Archon. One of the Archon's duties is to oversee security of the consulate."
Archer tore his attention away from the screen he had been reading from. It seemed as if T'Pol might be onto something here. "So they would have had access to the data that Nash had in his database."
"An Archon would have been the only person with high enough security clearance to access that data. When I returned to find that Commander Tucker had been taken, I speculated that Nash had corrupted one of the Archons and used my Dohn Zhu to keep me occupied while he kidnapped Commander Tucker. This hypothesis was later given further credence when I discovered the Vulcan data on the Weather Station. Therefore it would be logical to conclude that the Archon who called my Dohn Zhu would be the guilty party."
"So who called your Dohn Zhu?"
"Selak."
"Your Law teacher?"
T'Pol nodded.
"I thought he was your friend," said Archer.
"He was my mentor and I believed him to be a friend," replied T'Pol. "It seems that I may have been mistaken."
Hoshi had collected all the binary code that T'Pol had pieced together from Trip's ramblings and downloaded it into the Communications console. Binary code was not something that she enjoyed working with. Math might be just another language but binary was math simplified to its most basic level. Everyone assumed that cracking a binary code would be simple but there were none of the usual cues to help her in such a simple language. There was no easily discernible syntax and repeating patterns could be hidden in thousands of ones and zeros. To complicate matters further, they were also missing large chunks of the program, since they couldn't expect Trip to spend his whole day writing down the ones and zeros that the nanites were spewing out.
Code cracking was part number crunching and part intuition. All languages had patterns and it was just a matter of finding them. She had no idea what this code was designed to do, and that was even if it was a code, which would make things considerably harder. This had most likely always been the nanites' way of talking to each other and it was just that the intermediary that translated what it meant to Trip had been switched off. But then why would Davis do this to Trip if there wasn't a reason behind it? The only motivation that Hoshi could think of was that Davis hadn't wanted Trip to know what the nanites were doing.
The real problem was that they knew so little about the nanites and how their programming worked. T'Pol had made some progress with the code by using Ven Dath's notes from the research station which Enterprise had destroyed in the Expanse. The information that they recovered hadn't been complete though. Hoshi had already compared the code against the data and T'Pol's research and come up empty handed. This was something new.
The computer beeped at her to let her know that it had finished its first pattern recognition sweep. It had come up with one pattern. A sequence that repeated itself at intervals through out the code that they had.
Hoshi ran the binary string through the universal translator to convert it into Xindi sloth language. As she had expected it returned gibberish, a language with which she was becoming very familiar following her numerous encounters with alien species. It didn't really surprise her, it had been a long shot. She sighed, wondering if she'd ever crack this. Then she remembered a small detail. It wasn't the Xindi who had done this to Trip, it had been humans. She ran the same sequence through an ASCII converter and this time plain English was displayed on her screen. She blinked twice, not believing that it was really there.
She checked the chronometer. If she was quick she could just catch the Captain and T'Pol before they left for Earth. Otherwise she'd have to leave a message at Starfleet HQ and something told her that this information was better delivered in person.
Archer, T'Pol and Shran prepared the shuttle to depart for Earth. Trip was hovering, doing pre-flight checks on the shuttle so that he had an excuse to be there. He'd woken that morning with a headache which he'd taken painkillers for and it had disappeared but he knew it was very likely a sign that the nanites were acting up again. He didn't even have access to their diagnostics anymore to find out if he was correct. He wasn't on duty until later, so was meant to be resting, but he couldn't let Archer and T'Pol leave without wishing them good-luck.
He was very nervous about being left in charge. Despite the Captain's faith in him, he knew that he was no where near fully fit. He wouldn't have let anyone else know but he really didn't feel up to duty. Admittedly, Phlox's idea of half time duty hadn't been the same as Trip's idea. Phlox's schedule, which Archer had given Trip that morning, amounted to just over quarter time. Basically Trip would be on duty for a few hours every day. That had resulted in a rather heated argument between Trip and his CO, which of course Archer had won, but only by pulling rank. The fact that he'd been ordered to do as he was told had really annoyed him, but unless he wanted to end up on report there wasn't much that Trip could do about it. Phlox also expected him to rest when he wasn't on duty and when he said rest, he meant in bed. Phlox had threatened to come and check up on him, so, even there, Trip didn't have any choice but to co-operate.
Archer had noticed how pale Trip was looking but he knew that the Engineer wouldn't appreciate any comments on the subject from his Captain. He had to trust that Phlox would make sure that Trip didn't over do things for the next couple of days. He didn't exactly want to abandon Trip to the mercies of the Denobulan doctor but given the situation, he was needed on Earth.
"So how long do you think this is going to take?" asked Trip.
"Hopefully not more than a couple of days," said Archer.
"It is unlikely that the Council will delay in giving their verdict," added T'Pol.
"I thought you had some extra evidence that you were going to present to them?" said Trip.
"That should not extend proceedings considerably," replied T'Pol.
"How does this Vulcan excuse for justice work?" asked Shran.
"A Vulcan is called before their peers to account for their actions," said T'Pol. "The arguments have already been made on both sides. I must exercise my right of Kra'Ta in order to give additional evidence."
"Kra'Ta?" asked Archer, as he loaded his and T'Pol's overnight bags onto the shuttle.
"The etymology of the word is lost, but essentially it is the right of every defendant to invoke the rule of Kra'Ta if they have additional evidence to bring. It may only be called before the verdict has been given."
"On Andoria this would never be settled this way," grumbled Shran.
"How exactly would it be settled on Andoria?" asked Archer.
"In a fight to the death," replied Shran without blinking.
"That's a little harsh, isn't it?" said Trip.
"To an Andorian it is the only true way to maintain one's honour in a dispute which calls their character into question." Shran didn't seem to be joking, and Trip was rather alarmed by the concept of justice by trial by combat. He was saved from further description by Hoshi running into the shuttlebay at full tilt.
"I wanted to catch you before you left for Earth," said Hoshi as she caught her breath.
"What is it, Hoshi?" asked Archer.
"I managed to get a phrase out of the binary code that Commander Tucker's been reciting in his sleep," said Hoshi. "I don't know if it's significant but I thought you should know in case it rang any bells. It's in English so we know that it must have been Davis and his friends that put it there."
She showed them the padd which had one sentence written on it. "Let the dead bury the living."
"What the hell does that mean?" said Trip.
"I don't know," said Hoshi, "but it has to mean something. I looked it up. It's a quote from Nietzsche's "On the Use and Abuse of History" but I have no idea if that's important."
"It sounds kind of ominous," said Trip. "I never thought I'd say this, but I wish the damn things would start talking English to me again."
"Keep at it Hoshi, we need more to go on," said Archer.
"Yes, sir," replied Hoshi.
"It is time that we departed," said T'Pol, climbing into the shuttle and getting herself settled in the co-pilot's seat.
"Yes, it is. Take care of her while I'm gone, Trip," said Archer as he ushered Shran inside the shuttle.
"She's in safe hands," said Trip as he helped Archer to close the door of the shuttle. He hoped he wasn't lying to his Captain as he and Hoshi retreated from the shuttlebay.
Three figures entered the Council Chamber in the Vulcan compound, one Vulcan, one human and one hooded in a ceremonial Vulcan robe that T'Pol had produced. When they arrived Archer had watched T'Pol go to Soval and talk quietly and rapidly with him. She then moved to talk to T'Prell who stood holding a number of padds away from the main group of Vulcans. Their conversation lasted a few minutes before T'Pol finally returned to the group and spoke quietly.
"When we are in the Council Chamber it is important that you let me speak for you. It is not customary to allow non-Vulcans entry to the Council Chamber," said T'Pol, "however, Soval has made an exception in this case and you may accompany me. But only if you remain silent. You may answer if a question is specifically directed to you. Soval is the only Vulcan with the authority to help us and get us the information that we need."
Archer realised that T'Pol was telling him in her usual Vulcan way not to put his foot in his mouth, they would most likely need Soval's help and it wouldn't be good to alienate him at this stage.
"And T'Prell?" asked Archer.
"Confirmed information that I already had," replied T'Pol.
"But will she help us?" asked a voice from within the hooded robe.
"I do not know. She has always been loyal to Selak," said T'Pol. "But so was I, once."
Then Soval had stepped into the Council Chamber and they had followed him, walking into the Centre of the chamber. Archer looked around him at the distinctly Vulcan architecture. If he hadn't known better then he wouldn't have believed that he was still on Earth. Thirteen elderly looking Vulcans sat in a semi-circle, Soval in the middle. Selak and his deputy, T'Prell, sat to the left side of the room.
"Soval, what is the meaning of this. We do not allow humans within the Council Chamber," said an aged Vulcan.
"Stov, I have given them special dispensation since there are other issues that we must address once this Dohn Zhu is concluded. The humans have agreed to remain silent whilst in the Council Chamber. We will proceed as normal," said Soval.
"If you are satisfied that it is necessary, Ambassador," said Stov.
"I am satisfied. The Council has been assembled to give the verdict on the Dohn Zhu of T'Pol," said Soval.
"I call Kra'Ta. I have additional evidence of bearing to my case," said T'Pol.
"That is your right," said Soval. "What is your evidence?"
"Whilst performing my duties on Enterprise, I had occasion to confiscate data from an Earth space station. Some of that data was high security information about Vulcan compounds on Earth. There are only limited suspects as to who could have passed this data to the humans. One of the Law Archons was responsible for passing classified data to the humans. I believe that it was the Law Archon who called my Dohn Zhu."
"Selak, you called the Dohn Zhu," said Soval.
"That is correct," said Selak.
"I spoke with T'Prell," said T'Pol. "She informed me that eight days ago you downloaded the information that I found on the weather station."
"Is this true, Selak?" asked Soval.
"Yes, ambassador, T'Pol is correct. I did download the data," said Selak.
"For what purpose?" asked Soval. "I remind you of the penalty for giving false evidence at a Dohn Zhu. We can check the security devices if necessary but it will be better for you if we do not have to."
"That will not be necessary, Ambassador. I downloaded the data in order to give it to the humans," said Selak without even blinking.
"You have acted illogically and placed Vulcans in danger," said Soval.
"I have acted more logically than the Vulcan High Command," said Selak. "Our involvement with humans has increasingly polluted us. T'Pol is evidence of that. She no longer even thinks like a Vulcan and she brings a human to her Dohn Zhu. If an attack was made on a Vulcan compound then we would have no alternative but to withdraw. It would be our first step towards breaking off contact with the humans. I have watched many of my pupils be swayed from the path of Surak by the illogic of humanity. In the long term I would be saving our society."
"Logical but not necessarily true," said Soval. "There are many Vulcans who have had contact with humans and not all of them have been influenced or become illogical."
"Even if we are influenced then should we not acknowledge Surak's "infinite diversity in infinite combinations"," said T'Prell. It was the first time that she had spoken and T'Pol was slightly surprised that the student of Selak would contradict her teacher.
"T'Pol, Selak called your Dohn Zhu. As his motives are now suspect, the Dohn Zhu is declared void. If T'Prell wishes, she may reconvene this tribunal at a later time," said Soval.
"I no longer see the necessity for this tribunal when T'Pol has proven that she had logical motives for everything that she has done," said T'Prell. "T'Pol has protected Vulcan. I will however call a Dohn Zhu for Selak if the Council is in agreement."
Soval looked around briefly at his fellow Vulcans who nodded their assent. "We are all in agreement. Take Selak to his quarters and post a guard."
"I wish to question Selak," said T'Pol. "He may be able to provide information to the Earth authorities on another matter."
"That would be acceptable," said Soval.
"There are further questions to be asked in this matter," said one of the other Council members. "What were the humans doing with the information that they had in their possession?"
"Ketrell, T'Pol is prepared to brief us in full on this matter," said Soval.
Archer moved as if to speak but stopped himself, instead looking to T'Pol to explain. He would never have believed that staying quiet was such hard work until this moment, there was so much that the Vulcan Council needed to understand.
"The information that Selak provided was to be used to spread vashau numo ek'mishan rihak to Vulcan." T'Pol dropped into Vulcan for the technical term. Archer assumed that it was more descriptive of the nanites' function than the human words.
"So the Humans planned to destroy us and the alliance," said a Vulcan woman that T'Pol identified to Archer as T'Lan. "It seems that we were wrong to trust them."
"It was a rogue faction of xenophobic humans who planned this, not the human government," said T'Pol.
"Do you have evidence to support that statement?" asked Stov.
Archer couldn't stay silent any longer. "You can't seriously believe that the Earth Government would put at risk everything that we have accomplished over the years. I'd be the first to admit that we haven't exactly see eye to eye with you on a lot of things. Soval will tell you that I, personally, have had issues with some of the orders that you Vulcans have given, but now we're out exploring the universe we need the alliance more than ever. If this really was sanctioned by our government, would I be standing here warning you to increase your security."
"Captain Archer, you were admitted to this Council on the understanding that you would not speak unless a question was directed to you," said Stov.
"Stov, let the human speak, his race is under scrutiny here, as is the Vulcan Human alliance. Captain, the logic of your argument is compelling, however humans in general are noted for their lack of logic," said Ketrell.
Soval turned slightly towards his colleagues. "Humans are not a notably treacherous race however."
"That is true," replied Ketrell. "If we were dealing with the Andorians it would be another matter."
Archer saw a slight tremble of anger move through the hooded figure standing beside him but wasn't in time to stop the Andorian throwing back his hood and spitting a retort to the Vulcan Council. "And I suppose the Vulcans didn't place a listening post on P'Jem. That is true treachery, breaking an agreement that was made in good faith."
"Shran," said Archer with despair, "I thought you didn't want any overt Andorian involvement in this. You've just blown your cover."
"I didn't like all this skulking around anyway," said Shran defiantly. He stripped off the long
Vulcan robe and dropped it to the ground revealing his Imperial Guard uniform.
"T'Pol, this is inexcusable," said Stov. "Never in the history of Vulcan has an Andorian stood in a Council Chamber."
"Then maybe it is time that one did," said Soval, calmly. "Commander Shran, I believe?"
Shran inclined his head in acknowledgement. "I would prefer if you kept my name out of your report to the High Command. My superiors will be very upset if they hear that I have spoken to Vulcans. Andoria was simply an unwitting pawn in this pink skin's game. A certain faction of the Imperial Guard saw an opportunity to destroy Vulcan, this was not in line with the wishes of the rest of our government. All Andoria wants is to protect our territory. We don't seek war with Vulcan. No sane race seeks war."
Archer wondered how much of Shran's speech was a lie and how much was truth. Was this what Shran himself believed or simply something to bluff the Vulcans? Archer knew that Shran had walked a very thin line by suggesting that the humans could help them to make peace with the Vulcans. At the moment there was an uneasy cease fire between the Vulcans and the Andorians, which had only been possibly because of Archer's intervention, but that could change easily. He was fairly sure that there were Andorians who would have embraced the concept of Vulcan's destruction.
"You have my word as a Vulcan that we will not disclose your identity," said Soval.
"Soval, this Andorian has just told us that his race were also involved in this plot to attack Vulcan," said Stov. "We should report this to the High Command immediately."
"The plot will be reported, but what good will it do to place the Commander in a difficult position with his superiors?" asked Soval.
"You are correct," said T'Lan. "There is no need for names to be mentioned."
"I'm sure that your Selak could corroborate this information in any case," said Shran off handedly. "Some months ago we were contacted by a human called Nash. He is a Senator in the Earth Government. He informed us that he had an organisation that worked to rid the Earth of Vulcans. Although this organisation made use of Starfleet personnel it was not official in any capacity. He asked us for a number of transmissions that we had intercepted from Enterprise whilst it had been in the Expanse, among other information. He discovered that Enterprise had nanites on board and considerable data on how to reprogram them. We also agreed to send them some more exotic supplies that they couldn't obtain on Earth."
"You didn't say anything about that," blurted Archer.
"I thought that we were probably in enough trouble already," said Shran.
"And you were right. What supplies?"
"Some exotic metals, weapons, that sort of thing," said Shran.
"You gave a terrorist organisation Andorian weapons?" said Archer in anger and disbelief.
"We thought they were on our side," said Shran. "I wasn't consulted on this, Archer. I seem to remember that I was in the Expanse saving your tin can of a space ship from an anomaly field."
"We have some further evidence, but Senator Nash is our prime suspect and has not yet been caught," T'Pol interrupted before Archer and Shran could get into a proper argument.
"We may be able to help you in your search for Senator Nash," said Soval. "We have surveillance on all senior members of your government."
"You do?" asked Archer, surprised by that revelation.
"It is only logical to be equipped with as much information as possible," explained Soval. "Given the current climate of distrust we felt it was necessary."
"So you knew something was going on?" asked Archer.
"The demonstrations outside the Vulcan compounds have escalated recently. It seemed a sensible precaution," replied Soval. "T'Prell, take Captain Archer, Sub-Commander T'Pol and Commander Shran to our surveillance officer. Find them the files for Senator Nash and his current whereabouts."
T'Prell indicated for Archer and his party to follow her, while Selak was led from the chamber by two armed Vulcans.
The four of them entered the surveillance unit and T'Prell conversed swiftly in Vulcan with a senior looking official. There was some coming and going before the information that they required was passed to them. T'Prell explained that the unusual request had required clearance before it could be carried out. Vulcans did not give away their data lightly and especially not to aliens. However Archer didn't care about procedure he was just glad that they had a lead on Nash. The Senator was hiding in the mountains. He had a cabin in the Alps and that was where they would find him.
He glanced through the window, and looked out at the sun receding behind the San Francisco skyline. It would take them a few hours to get to the Alps and he suspected that they were going to need help.
"We're going to Switzerland," said Archer.
Reed was working in the Armoury when a call came through from Hoshi. It sounded as if she was whispering into the com.
"I'm probably worrying over nothing but, I'm on the bridge and Commander Tucker isn't looking too well," said Hoshi. "I've tried to tell him to go and lie down but he's not listening to me. He called me Ensign Sato."
Reed sighed. Trip only called people by their full rank and name when he was making a point that he out-ranked them. "I'm the last person that he'll listen to."
"You're second in command, Malcolm, and you know how to deal with him. If I have to call Phlox, the Commander will be in trouble, and I'll be on his hit list for the next week. I don't want to spend the next month scrubbing the plasma conduits and taking inventory," said Hoshi.
"Hoshi, you know Trip wouldn't make you do that," replied Reed.
"I wish I was as certain as you are," retorted the com officer.
"If he wants to make himself sick, then let him," said Reed. "He'll soon get the message if he wakes up in sickbay."
He could imagine Hoshi's expression of resignation as she answered. "Okay, if you think that's best…"
Reed closed his eyes and gathered everything he had together before he replied. "Yes, I think that's best. Call me if you need me on the bridge."
"Yes, Lieutenant," said Hoshi. He could almost hear her thinking what a bastard he was as the connection closed.
Reed looked down at his schematics and tried to forget about Trip sitting on the bridge, pushing himself to work. Damn Trip and his stubbornness. Why couldn't he recognise when he was working himself too hard? It had been like this just after his sister had died. Trip would work until he dropped, usually in Engineering. Hess would put a blanket around his shoulders and let him sleep at his desk until his nightmares woke him. If it hadn't been for T'Pol and her neuropressure then Trip would probably have self-destructed long before they reached Azati Prime.
"Stuff it," said Reed, "I can't do this." He left the Armoury and walked to the bridge. He didn't care if Trip did hate him for this, he wasn't going to let him down again. He took a deep breath and stepped out onto the bridge.
"Malcolm," said Trip, surprised and not exactly pleased to see the Armoury officer on the bridge. Trip didn't look good, he had dark circles under his eyes and seemed to be slumped in the Captain's chair trying to read a padd, with his head resting on his hand.
"I finished up the repairs I was working on, why don't you knock off early, Commander, and get some sleep. I'll finish the shift for you," said Reed.
"It's okay, Malcolm, I'm fine," said Trip, but even his voice sounded tired.
Reed went over to the Captain's chair so that he wasn't shouting across the bridge.
"Trip, you look awful. You're no good to anyone if you're too tired to function," said Reed, quietly.
"Malcolm…" said Trip, about to tell him to drop it, but Reed interrupted.
"Do you want me to call Phlox?" he asked innocently.
"Lieutenant, you have the bridge. If anything comes up, I'll be in my quarters," said Trip, crossly. He got up from the chair and swayed slightly. Reed unobtrusively put a hand on Trip's elbow to steady him. Trip pretended not to notice, straightened himself up and left the bridge.
Reed sat down in the Captain's chair and began to think furiously about how to deal with the situation that he was now in. This couldn't go on. Trip's friendship meant a lot to him and he had to try to do something. Anything. Except that he'd probably just made things more difficult between them. He wondered if the day could actually get any worse.
When Reed's bridge shift finished his feet had carried him to Trip's quarters without him really thinking about it. Now he just had to press the doorbell. Except that all he could do was stare at it. He knew that the friendship was worth saving, worth putting in the effort to at least talk to Trip, but he dreaded the encounter. He knew everything that Trip would say, and he had no defence against it, because it would probably all be true.
"Come on, Malcolm," he mumbled to himself. "Just get it over with." He took a deep breath and pressed the button. There was the sound of muffled thuds and then the door slid back to reveal a tousle-haired Trip in pyjama bottoms.
"I…I'm sorry, you were sleeping, I'll come back later," said Reed. He hadn't considered that Trip would actually be asleep, but now he mentally kicked himself for not thinking about that before he had turned up at Trip's door.
"Nah, no time like the present," said Trip. "Come on in, this corridor is freezing." Reed shuffled in behind Trip and just stood feeling awkward while Trip sat on the edge of his bed, looking like death warmed over, pulling his blanket around himself. "For god's sake take a seat, Malcolm. You make the place look untidy."
"Oh, right, yes, of course," said Reed, backing into Trip's desk chair, flustered and wondering how he should start.
Trip didn't want to have this conversation with Reed anymore than the Lieutenant did, so decided to make a pre-emptive strike. "Do you want to tell me what the hell that was about on the bridge today? Have you any idea how that looked in front of the crew? You made it pretty obvious to everyone that I'm not fit to do my job."
"That wasn't how it was and you know it," said Reed.
"Yeah well that's how it seemed to me. I've got a damn good mind to write you up," said Trip. He immediately cursed his big mouth that seemed to work faster than his brain. What exactly was he going to write Reed up for, concern over a superior officer? It sounded especially stupid when he remembered that Malcolm was about to be court-martialled anyway for other offences.
"If you were able to finish the shift then why did you let me take over?" asked Reed.
"Because you threatened to go get Phlox!" shouted Trip.
"And you must have known that if Phlox came then he would have sent you back to your quarters, or you wouldn't have given in so easily."
"That isn't the point, Lieutenant. That decision was mine to take. You caused an incident in front of everyone on the bridge and undermined my position. It's hard enough with both T'Pol and the Captain away, without you causing more problems," said Trip.
"Fine, I apologise for making you look bad," said Reed, insincerely. "And I apologise for being worried about you. You really can be a stubborn arse sometimes, you know that?"
"It's just as well that I am so damn stubborn or I probably wouldn't be here," retorted Trip angrily. "Why did you come here tonight, Malcolm? I thought you'd decided that I was expendable."
"God, is that what you really think? Look, I know that whatever I say, it will never be enough. It's just that I at least wanted you to hear my side of the story before I get court-martialled and discharged. I didn't want Davis to take you, but I didn't see any other way to save both you and Jessica."
"Why didn't you just go to T'Pol?" said Trip, more tired than angry. He was really too exhausted to have a confrontation with Malcolm, but it seemed as if that was exactly what the Lieutenant wanted. "She could have helped you and stopped Davis getting me as well."
"If I'd talked to anyone then I was putting Jessica at risk," said Reed.
"So, after everything that we've been through, she was more important to you than I was," said Trip, angrily. He knew he was the aggrieved party here, but if he was so right why did it sound so selfish when he said it?
"You're both equally important to me. I was faced with an impossible choice and I had to do something to save Jessica," said Reed.
"How could you, Malcolm? I mean it's bad enough that you betrayed me, but to do it for some ex-girlfriend that you haven't seen for over three years," said Trip.
"Just because we're apart doesn't mean that I love her any less," said Reed vehemently.
"You still love her?" asked Trip, stopped in his tracks for a moment.
"Yes, I do and if it wasn't for this damned fraternisation rule, we'd still be together. I'm almost glad I'm being court-martialled, at least that way the whole bloody thing can come out in the open," said Reed. "No one else should have to pay for my mistakes and I'm sorry my transgression meant that you suffered. I know that we'll never be friends again but I had hoped that at least you wouldn't hate me for what I did."
"I don't hate you, Malcolm," said Trip, all his anger suddenly draining out of him. It was so much harder to be mad at Malcolm in person. "I'm hurt and angry, but I'll get over it. Never could hold a grudge for long. I know what hate feels like and I don't like it. You're not the enemy, you're not the one who planned all this or the one who decided to treat me like some damned experiment. It's just going to take some time. At the moment I look at you and I remember Lieutenant Davis coming to my door and then waking up in a cell on the weather station, scared to death of what they were going to do with me. As it turned out, I had a right to be scared."
There was silence for a moment as Trip stared at his lap unable to put into words exactly what he was feeling. His emotions were boiling inside him and he tried to wrestle them into some semblance of order, but emotions were slippery things. He knew there were tears in his eyes and he was afraid that if he thought about what had happened then those tears might be shed, and he couldn't face the pity that he knew Reed would feel for him. He scrubbed a hand across his face to stop his eyes from betraying him, but it was already too late as a single droplet fell onto his thigh.
"It was bad, wasn't it?" said Reed. He was fighting his own battle not to simply run out of Trip's cabin and hide himself away. The shame and guilt were almost unbearable.
"Yeah, it was, but I've been through worse and I'm back safe now," said Trip. He hoped that if he put a brave face on it then it wouldn't seem as if it was as bad as it actually had been.
The very fact that Trip had been through worse was something that Reed preferred not to think about. "Phlox told us about the nerve poison that they used on you." He scooted the wheeled desk-chair closer to the side of the bed and put a hand on Trip's shoulder. It wasn't much but he hoped the contact might at least let his friend know that he cared and was trying to make amends, however small.
"Hurt like hell," said Trip. "That's how I got these," he added indicating his bandaged wrists. "They didn't like it when I tried to escape. After that I think they upped the dosage of whatever it was they had me strung out on. I spent most of my time trying to stay with it."
"I'm sorry, Trip. I know no matter how many times I say it, it doesn't take back what happened. But you have to believe me that I never wanted this to happen to you. I had no idea this was what they had planned. I had some stupid thought that I could rescue both you and Jessica before anything bad happened, but I should have known they'd hurt you. At least Davis is dead." He paused before dropping his gaze to his hands, wondering if he even dared ask his next question in case he didn't like the answer. "Where do we go from here?"
"I won't pretend that it didn't hurt, but I know that Davis was using you and you couldn't do anything about that. He was a master of manipulating people into doing what he wanted. I also know that you're the one who worked out how to rescue me. And that you didn't want to abandon me," said Trip. "On an intellectual level, I know all that, but it's going to take some time for my emotions to catch up."
"If there had been any other way, I would have taken it," said Reed. "I don't expect your forgiveness or friendship, I just wanted to tell you my side."
"Malcolm, if I lose your friendship, then they've won. Davis screwed with my head on purpose, to make me think I was alone, and if I let him get to me then he's done what he set out to do. I'm sure he's laughing his ass off in hell right now, watching us try to talk this out. You know what? I don't like being manipulated. Maybe you didn't do this right, but it takes more than one mistake to get me to stop being your friend. I've invested a lot of time in wearing down that stiff British exterior that you like to project, and you don't get away that easy, Lieutenant."
"So, blank slate? We forget what happened and start again? That's asking the impossible."
"We do our best. There's no magic rewind button for life, but I'm prepared to give it a try. Let's just see how we do. Now, I don't know about you, but I feel like I need a drink after all that heart to heart stuff. You want a beer? I think I've got some in here somewhere."
"Why not?" said Reed and that was the moment that he knew everything would be okay between him and Trip. Trip didn't offer to drink beer with anyone he didn't consider to be a friend. They spent the rest of the evening forgetting that they'd ever had a problem, remembering happier times, and drinking Trip's bottled beer. Unfortunately the evening came to a crashing halt when Archer's message came through.
"Malcolm, we've located Nash in Switzerland, I need you and a Security team down here as soon as possible. Bring the MACOs with you."