Disclaimer: The House M.D. character's do not belong to me.
This story is based sometime after "Sport's Medicine" and before Vogler came onto the scene.
Maybe she was making a mistake. Maybe she should stop. She barely remembers how it all started. No that's a lie she remembers that first day perfectly.
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It was her tenth day of work. Long before Foreman showed up, Chase had been working for House since before she'd started. She remembers she'd been in the lab with Chase running routine blood tests when he'd started asking her about her personal life. She'd told him she wasn't involved with anyone and turned down his offer of dinner.
She hadn't noticed House at the door through the exchange until he'd come in to tell Chase to stick with the nurses.
At the end of the day it'd been her routine to stop by House's office to check out with him since he was always there later than she or Chase were.
"Night." She said grabbing her jacket off of his coach where she must have dropped it sometime during the day.
"Did you drive in?" He asked her barely looking up.
"Yeah." She answered without a thought turning to go.
"Mind dropping me off?" He asked.
"No problem." She answered completely taken off guard. She had a crush on her boss and she hadn't liked a guy in a while. But she didn't dwell on it much cause what she'd learned so far was that he was a cranky hermit.
"Let me grab my stuff." He said slowly getting up.
They hadn't talked much on the way to his place beyond him giving her directions. She'd started to stop by the curb in front of his place.
"You can park right out front." He told her and she pulled into the spot and stopped the car.
"Have a good night." She said nervously he looked at her and grinned. His hair was mussed as usual with his stubble at the usual length and when he smiled there were creases she wanted to reach out and touch.
"Coming in?" He asked as she thought he was going to bid her good night. He laughed as her head whipped around.
"What?" She asked assuming she had misheard him.
"Do you want to come in?" He repeated slowly.
"Yeah." She heard herself answer and he turned to get out. She followed him slowly to the door and then inside his apartment.
"Thirsty?" He asked her.
"No." She answered honestly.
"Come on then." He smiled and once again she followed him but this time down a short hallway to his bedroom.
She stood just inside the door. "I can't believe I'm doing this."
"You'd rather have taken up Chase's offer for dinner?" He asked slowly.
"Never." She answered with a snort.
"Then come here." He said.
Those were the last words spoken that night, the first night of many.
At work nothing changed but most nights one of them wound up in the others apartment and they had at some point exchanged keys.
That night had been almost seven months ago. Sometimes looks would be exchanged at work, but that was the extent of anything people could pick up on. He didn't treat her in anyway that people would know they spent most their evenings together. It was treated by both of them as a purely physical thing; they didn't really talk but just needed to be with each other.
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The problem started earlier that day she was sitting at House's computer checking his mail when he walked in. But he didn't hear Wilson follow a minute later.
"Hey I had to get the lock changed, rust. Here." He said and tossed her a key ring. She caught it and then noticed Wilson giving them both a strange look.
"Dr. Wilson. How's Sarah doing?" She asked referring to his new patient clueing in House to his presence.
House's eyes widened before he turned to face his friend. "Hey Jimmy." He smiled.
Now she was going to have lunch with Wilson. He'd left a message telling her to meet him for lunch at the diner, it was a common place for the staff to grab lunch since it was literally across the street.
"Hey Dr. Wilson what's up?" She asked as she joined him.
"I was just curious how long you two have been together?" He asked straight out in a friendly way.
"What?" She asked. Not expecting that.
"You and House." He said.
"We're not together." She assured him, at least she didn't consider it that way. Sure they slept together almost every night and that formed a bond but they didn't really have a "together" relationship. She had never really tried to define what they had. The only real date they'd gone on was the monster truck rally.
"You haven't been sleeping together?" He asked.
"Dr. Wilson." She started.
"Cameron, I care about Greg and I like you. I just… well after what I saw this morning I thought about your behavior around each other… how long?" He asked.
"Listen I don't know what the policy is." She started.
"No I just don't want to see you guys get hurt." He said "I've known Greg for fifteen years."
"No ones getting hurt, that's not what this is." She tried to explain hoping to assure herself as well.
"Listen." He started.
"Since October." She told him.
"That's seven months." He said shocked.
"I know."
"Christ. How could you guys?" He asked.
"The only time we've ever gone out is the truck rally." She admitted to him.
"You've been sleeping together for over six months?" He asked amazed he hadn't found out before now.
"Yes." She answered
"And it's not a relationship?" He asked.
"No I mean it's we just. I don't know." She said.
"Do you love him?" He asked.
She didn't answer him. Not because she didn't know the answer but because it was entirely different to admit that out loud. It made it real and she wasn't willing to do that.
"Ok well it obviously doesn't affect your work relationship." He said knowing that House tries to piss her off as much as everyone else and now he understood better how she seemed to have a tolerance for it too a point.
"I need him." She said and I know he needs me just as much she thought to herself.
There'd been times he'd come to her bed in the middle of the night and she knew he was in pain whether it be his leg or a situation with a patient. He'd just lose himself in her or hold her all night long and she'd let him cause she seemed to have an unending need for him as well. Whenever he was near she had the urge to touch him.
She'd been the one who'd dealt with his withdrawal that week he went without his pills. She remembers crying as she soaked and rubbed down his sweating body helping him get through the pain.
He'd held her the night she sobbed after the memories of her husband had been brought up over the African Sleeping Sickness case.
Most nights were simple whomever left work later would head to the others place and they'd either snuggle together or have sex late into the night.
She knew he was more addicted to her then his pills. They kept clothes at each other's place so they could sleep later or continue into the morning. She can't remember a night with in the past two months they hadn't been together.
"Don't you want a real relationship?" He asked her.
She'd thought about that so much. And wasn't sure the answer, she wanted him. She wasn't willing to give him up for something more conventional with anyone else. She trusted him knowing if he ever met someone he was interested in he would tell her or at least break it off. She'd met a guy a couple months ago at a medical conference he seemed like a great guy. He pursued her but wouldn't leave her alone at the bar where she'd gotten wasted. He'd tried to lead her back to his room instead of hers and she'd slapped him only wanting House.
"I want him." She said simply.
After she'd made that declaration he'd let the subject drop and they'd just talked about hospital business.
God why did someone have to find out, she wondered later. Things were perfect or at least working. So at the end of the day once everyone else had basically left she went to talk to him. She didn't know why it couldn't wait till later, till she was in his bed.
She entered his office. It was dark he was busy looking something up on the computer. "Porn?" She asked in a disinterested voice.
'Micardiac ardmias." He'd answered.
"Yes those get me excited alone in the dark as well." She said.
"Did you want a quickie? You usually can wait till.." He started.
"I had lunch with Wilson." She told him.
"Today?" He asked.
"Yes." She told him.
And she turned around to make sure the hallway was empty. It was late but she wanted to make sure no one was lurking around before she put her feet up on his desk.
"Comfortable?" He asked.
"Actually yes." She answered.
"I'm assuming you weren't discussing the latest advances in prostate cancer." He said.
"We were discussing sex." She retorted.
"Be sure to use a condom." He said.
"Will do." She retorted.
"Wanna go practice?" He asked.
"Wanna talk?" She said.
"Not really." He answered.
"Then no." She said. They had to figure things out she'd been hoping this day wouldn't come but someone had found out. And now she was letting doubts fly around in her head.
"He won't say anything." House said.
"I believe that." She said.
"Yeah, he'll notice looks pass and have his own and other people could pick up on it. People are curious and think they deserve to know everything." House said.
"You definitely have that mentality." She said.
"I'm just better at figuring things out." He said and she smiled.
"Are you?" She asked.
"Yes, like this." He said.
"This?" She asked.
"This conversation. Wilson said something that bothered you or made you think about our relationship. Commitment? Communication? Feelings?" He started rambling off.
"You've known him forever. What do you think it was?" She asked.
"He thinks you deserve better and he's shocked wondering if maybe I'm enough. You told him how long?" He asked.
"Yeah." She admitted.
"That's gotta be killing him, since he didn't notice anything." He said.
"What was there to notice?" She asked.
"He'll see it now every time you look at me or I make a comment to you. He'll wonder how he missed it." House told her.
"Shit." She said knowing he was right.
"Are you unhappy?" He asked.
"No." She said honestly.
"But you're not happy." He said.
"I don't know." She said. "I don't want anyone else."
"You want more from me?" He asked.