The Halloweenies
By Semdai Bloodquill
Chapter 3: Rabies, Retaliation, and Rob Zombie Part One
(In the very small elevator on their way to the first floor. Annoying elevator music plays in the background)
Semdai - (taps her foot) This music is so annoying.
Dantrag - You said so in the opening paragraph.
Semdai - (annoyed) Dantrag, what are you doing here?
Dantrag - Being yelled at by you.
Semdai - (very annoyed) You are supposed to be with Catti-brie.
Dantrag - (shrugs) The dumb bitch sucked. I had to ditch her.
Berg'inyon - (slyly) What did she suck?
Semdai - Berg'inyon, shut up. (laughs) Still, that was great. (attention goes back to Dantrag) Now you need to go back to Catti-brie's hideout behind McDonalds and wait for us to rescue you.
Dantrag - (whines) Why do I have to?
Semdai - (points to the top of the document) Because this chapter is titled 'Rabies, Retaliation, and Rob Zombie' and we will have Rabies, Retaliation, and Rob Zombie in this chapter. Now how can we retaliate against Catti- brie if you are not there for us to save?
Dantrag - (whines some more) But why me? How come YOU can't be the one to get saved?
Semdai - Why would you guys want to save me?
Drizzt - Yeah! We could do that whole Damsel-in-distress act!
Semdai - Are you guys kidding? The moment I left, you'd all start rummaging for valuables to sell on the black market.
Drizzt - (strongly) We would not!
Entreri - (simply) Besides, Regis already cleaned out all the good stuff.
Jarlaxle - (stupidly) I was wondering why Regis doesn't talk in chapter one.
Semdai - (growls) Well I'll get Regis back in the next chapter, and Dantrag you need to go back to Catti-brie's place.
Dantrag - (decides that it's not a good idea to argue with Semdai when she growls) Ok.
Semdai - (acidly) And don't go escaping again this time. (teleports Dantrag back to Catti-brie's hideout.)
Berg'inyon - (sneers) Geez, who lit the fuse on your tampon.
Others - (gasp)
Semdai - (glares at Berg'inyon) You're lucky that Drizzt and Entreri are blocking my path or I would throw something at you.
Jarlaxle - (coughs into his hand) Author powers.
Semdai - (slyly) Oh right... (uses 'author powers' to throw her last mexi- fry, which magically passes through Drizzt and Entreri's heads and hits Berg'inyon)
Berg'inyon - (whipes mexi-fry off his forehead) Why are you so bull-headed and nasty sometimes?
Semdai - (simply) The bull-headedness I get from my father, but am I really so nasty?
Berg'inyon - You threaten to throw things at me. (pause) You DO throw things at me!
Semdai - Does that make me nasty?
Jarlaxle - (sexy tone) Not to me. (moves closer to Semdai and strokes her shoulder lovingly)
Entreri - (revolted) Jarlaxle please! This is a tight, enclosed area and the rest of us can't get out of your path.
Semdai - (sadly) And I still have the rabies.
Jarlaxle - (sighs) Damn the misguided actions that put us in this predicament.
Semdai - Asanque. [likewise in drow tongue for those that didn't pay attention in the last chap.]
(A moment of silence in which the elevator music turns from annoying to REALLY annoying)
Semdai - All right, I'm not taking this stupid elevator music anymore. Clear a path, boys. (squeezes over to the control panel and fiddles with it)
Zaknafein - (squished against the wall next to the panel) What are you doing?
Semdai - Changing the music. (the annoying music is suddenly replaced by blaring Rob Zombie) Ah much better.
(Another moment of quiet while Rob Zombie's song 'Dragula' blares)
Entreri - (feels a twinge in his mind)
Semdai - (singing along) Dead I am the one, exterminate the sun, flipping through the trees, strangling the breeze! (starts head banging)
Jarlaxle - (starts bobbing his head to the song)
Entreri - (also starts singing) Dead I am the rat, feast upon the cat, tender is the fur, dying as you burn!
Berg'inyon - Whoa. Entreri has become enthusiastic.
Drizzt - Meilikki save us all. (pauses) Except Entreri.
Semdai - (nudges Berg'inyon) Now who's the nasty one?
Berg'inyon - (grins) Still you.
Semdai - Damn right! (pauses) Wait.
Entreri - (still singing) Dead I am the dog, hound of hell you cry, devil on your back, I can never die!
Jarlaxle - (cocks his head) He seems to be enjoying himself.
Semdai - So it would seem.
Zaknafein - What floor are we on?
Semdai - (looks at the panel) Twenty-five.
Drizzt - (stretches) So how are we going to go about saving Kellindil and rescuing Dantrag and all that? (pops his neck) Ouch.
Semdai - You aren't supposed to stretch that far Drizzt.
Drizzt - (rubs his neck) Noted.
Semdai - First we have to visit someone who might help us with this quest, then we go see Dr. Hoggart.
Jarlaxle - Who?
Semdai - My family doctor.
Entreri - (mindlessly sings along with the Rob Zombie music as the song changes to 'Living Dead Girl')
Drizzt - Why are we going to see your doctor?
Semdai - Two reasons, first I need to pick up my prescription for a Flonase re-fill.
Drizzt - What in the Nine Hells is Flonase?
Semdai - (pulls a bottle with a squirter attached to it out of her pocket) This is Flonase.
Jarlaxle - (intrigued) And what is the function of this Flonase?
Semdai - Observe. (jams the squirter up one nostril and breathes in a spray of Flonase with a deep inhale through her nose) Ack! The old lady perfumy smell! (snorts a few times and repeats the motion with the other nostril) I hate this stuff.
Jarlaxle - Then why must you use it?
Semdai - (mockingly technical) 'cause my doctor says I have weak lungs and bad allergies and the Flonase will help make my bronchial tubes stronger.
Zaknafein - What's the second reason?
Semdai - For what?
Zaknafein - Going to the doctor's office.
Semdai - You and me need rabies shots so we don't end up like Kellindil.
Zaknafein - (gulps) Did you say 'shots?'
Semdai - Yeah.
Entreri - (singing along) Crawl on me!
Zaknafein - (growing scared) Does that include needles?
Entreri - (singing...still) Singing to me!
Semdai - (squints at Zaknafein like he's an idiot) Yeah.
Entreri - (still singing) Dance for me!
Zaknafein - (gulps again and presses against the wall) ...needles... (starts shaking)
Entreri - (STILL singing) Living dead girl!
Semdai - (studies Zaknafein) Zak, don't tell me you're afraid of needles.
Drizzt - He has a phobia of needles.
Entreri - (head banging) Blood on her skin!
Semdai - Needle-phobia eh?
Entreri - (Moment of euphoria) Dripping with sin!
Zaknafein - (nods)
Entreri - (take a wild guess) Do it again!
Semdai - Well you're just going to have to break that fear, now aren't you?
Entreri - (not bothering at this point) Living Dead Girl!
(The elevator dings, the music stops)
Entreri - (frantically) Hey! Who killed the music?
Semdai - C'mon boys, we have reached Floor 2! (dashes out of the elevator)
Drizzt - Weren't we going to the Floor 1?
Semdai - (reading the numbers on the doors) We have to stop and pick up some friends of mine first.
Berg'inyon - (steps out of the elevator) Who?
Semdai - (ignores him) 662... 664... Ah! Here we are, Room 666.
Drizzt - (fearfully) 666?
Zaknafein - Who would live in a room numbered 666?
Semdai - (pushes a button next to the door and the metal door slides up, revealing a darkened room that resembles a prison cell with two cots) I hope they're awake. (sweetly) Oh House Do'Urden's Elderboy!
Drizzt/Zaknafein - (shocked) House Do'Urden's Elderboy!?
Jarlaxle - (not shocked) Which one?
(The living occupant of Room 666 leaps from the cot where he had been resting and charges at the door, only to crash into the glass covering the opening)
Semdai - You will never learn, will you?
Jarlaxle - (intrigued) Was that Dinin?
Dinin - (getting up and rubbing his forehead where he hit the glass) Oh course it's me.
Drizzt - (slightly confused) I thought Vierna turned you into a drider.
Dinin - She did.
Drizzt - (utterly confused) Then why are you locked in there as a drow?
Dinin - (sarcastically) For that I have Semdai to thank.
Semdai - Technically Dinin, you're not locked in there.
Dinin - (snorts) Then why is the button that opens the door out there?
Semdai - I mean it, I let you out when you ask nicely.
Dinin - Sometimes.
Semdai - This is your punishment you know.
Dinin - (sighs) Yes, yes, I know, (lecturing voice) if I hadn't stolen your undergarments and proceeded to display them on the walls of your High School then I wouldn't be in here with Nalfein.
Semdai - Speaking of whom, where is he?
Dinin - (nervously) Um... sleeping!
Semdai - (sternly) Dinin Do'Urden, what did you do with Nalfein?
Drizzt - You have Nalfein in there too?
Semdai - What better punishment for Dinin than to imprison him with the drow he most hates?
Dinin - (insisting) I told you, he's taking a nap.
Semdai - (smirking) How long of a nap?
Dinin - (caught in a corner) Uh... (laughs nervously) He won't be waking up anytime soon.
Semdai - That makes the score N22-D14-S30 in favor of Nalfein. (marks on a sheet of paper hanging next to the doorway and presses another button) You've still got a long ways to go, Dinin.
Berg'inyon - What does that mean, N22-D14-S30?
Semdai - Ever since I put the two in there together they have been amusing themselves by killing eachother. Nalfein has killed Dinin 22 times, Dinin has managed to slay Nalfein 14 times, and 30 times they have ended up killing eachother, resulting in a stalemate.
Dinin - (grumbles) I'd have more if you would give us something to fight with.
Jarlaxle - What have you currently got?
Dinin - A ball of twine, a screwdriver, a wax candlestick, a plastic wrench, a squirt gun, and four butter-knives.
Zaknafein - Interesting choice of weaponry.
Semdai - What usually happens is they end up staring at eachother until one finally passes out and the one remaining awake strangles the sleeper.
Entreri - That sounds boring. Why not put those butter-knives to use and duel to the death?
Dinin - We tried that. We ended up with one butter-knife in each other's right eye and the other up our left nostrils.
Semdai - Since then they have not touched the butter-knives.
(A yawn from the second cot draws their attention. Nalfein sits up and scratches his head)
Nalfein - Did I fall asleep?
Semdai - Yes Nalfein, and Dinin increased his score while you were out.
Nalfein - (growls something)
Semdai - What was that?
Nalfein - (calmly pulls the plastic squirt gun out from under his pillow and shoots Dinin with water) Bastard.
Dinin - Ah! My eyes! (thrashes wildly)
Nalfein - (grabs the screwdriver from Dinin's bed and jumps on the thrashing drow) DIE, YOU UNDERHANDED TACTIC USEING BASTARD!!! (stabs Dinin with the screwdriver)
Semdai - Ooh! Their at it again!
Dinin - (tries to fight back and manages to catch both of Nalfein's hands and holds them at bay) NO! (strains) You won't beat me this time!
Nalfein - Yes I will! (bites Dinin's ear)
Dinin - (screams in pain)
Berg'inyon - (disturbed) Kinky.
Jarlaxle - (inches closer to Semdai)
Semdai - (calmly) Don't even think about it, Jarlaxle.
Berg'inyon - (giggles) Too late. (nudges Entreri, who is humming Rob Zombie tunes, and gestures at Jarlaxle)
Entreri - (notices what Berg'inyon means) Whopper with cheese, anyone?
Semdai - (gives Jarlaxle a suspicious look) Whopper with cheese?
Jarlaxle - (not catching on) Actually I like Grilled Stuffed Burrito better.
The other males - (burst out laughing)
Semdai - (curiously reads back over the past few lines and gets what they are laughing at) Oh you guys are BAD! (laughs with them)
Jarlaxle - (bewildered) What?
Nalfein - (presses against the glass) What's so funny?
Jarlaxle - I really don't know.
Nalfein - How old are you?
Jarlaxle - 560 next week, why?
Nalfein - You look like you're 16.
Jarlaxle - Oh yeah, I forgot Semdai turned us into teens in chapter one.
Nalfein - What chapter are we on now?
Jarlaxle - (thinks) 3.
Nalfein - (softly) Oh. (pause) Ok.
Jarlaxle - Where's Dinin?
Nalfein - (turns just in time to see Dinin, bleeding from several screwdriver wounds, throw a twine noose around his neck) Ack!
Dinin - (tackles Nalfein, pulling the twine) Please don't snap. Please don't snap.
Jarlaxle - (simply) There he is.
Semdai - (recovering from the laughing exertion) What'd I miss?
Jarlaxle - Dinin is strangling Nalfein!
Semdai - (presses against the glass) Ooh... Blood...
Dinin - (pushes the now dead Nalfein to the ground) Ha! (gasps and clutches his many wounds) I have... beaten... Nalfein... (dies of his injuries and falls beside Nalfein)
Semdai - (marks on her score sheet) N22-D14-S31 (she presses the two buttons next to the score sheet and both brothers stand up again)
Jarlaxle - Whoa! You brought them back to life with just the press of a button! Cool...
Semdai - And handy. So, how would you two like to come with us?
Dinin - (amazed) Out into the outside world?
Semdai - Yes, Dinin, into the outside world.
Nalfein - (bewildered) You mean there's a world beyond this room?
Dinin - (smacks Nalfein up the back side of his head AKA fwapping) Wael [drow for fool]
Semdai - You've been in there too long. (presses another button, opening he glass door) You two are coming with us.
Dinin - Free at last! (dashes out only to be shot with one of Semdai's magic light balls, clothesline effect) Ack!
Semdai - First you have to become teens like the rest of us. (shoots Nalfein as he lingers in the doorway)
Jarlaxle - You shouldn't linger in doorways, Nalfein, it could be hazardous to your health.
Zaknafein - Yeah, bad things can happen to you, especially doorways with glass panels.
Nalfein - (stands and shakes himself) What could possibly happen to me while standing in a doorway?
Semdai - (shocked) He's obviously never seen the movie Thirteen Ghosts!
Drizzt - (shudders) That movie scared me with those freaky ghosts and all.
Berg'inyon - (confused) Was that the movie we all watched at your friend Tasha's house with the ghost of that naked chick?
Zaknafein - The ghost of the Angry Princess.
Entreri - (perverted grin) Oh yeah. She was a fox.
Berg'inyon - (doesn't get it) She wasn't a fox.
Entreri - (even more perverted grin) You're right, she was a vixen.
Zaknafein - Friggin' scary temper though.
Entreri - (fantasizing about the Angry Princess) Still... she had some nice endowments.
Semdai - (shakes her head) Males...
Jarlaxle - Are you controlling them right now?
Semdai - No, I'm worn out from a hard day of High School and I just thought 'oh Hell with this it's more fun when I let them say what they want anyway.'
Nalfein - (scratches his head) What does this 'Fox' term mean?
Semdai - Means they thought she was hot.
Nalfein - She was burning or something?
Semdai - (fwaps Nalfein) No, meaning she was good looking.
Nalfein - (finally gets it) Oh! So what were you saying about the danger of doorways?
Semdai - (assumes a pensive pose) Well, the stupid and greedy lawyer in Thirteen Ghosts was dumb enough to stand in a doorway that had sliding glass doors. To make a long story short, the glass panel doors closed on him and (enthusiastically) sliced him in half!
Jarlaxle - (makes a sound like splitting flesh)
Semdai - (stoner-like) It was friggin' sweet, man.
Jarlaxle - (eagerly) Totally, especially when his front half slide down the glass and his back half was still standing.
Semdai - (grinning like mad) Juicy...
Nalfein - (steps out of the doorway) Right. (clears his throat) So what's been happening since we were locked in there?
Semdai - Dantrag has been kidnapped by Catti-brie and Kellindil has been infected with rabies and now we have to save them and cure me and Zak of the rabidness before it takes us too.
Nalfein - (sarcastically) Sounds fun.
Semdai - (checks her watch) Oh crap! We gotta go! (takes off down the hall)
Jarlaxle - (runs after her) Why?
Semdai - We're gonna be late! (yells back) Beat feet you guys!
Berg'inyon - (confused) Beat feet?
Semdai - My Dad says it. It means run like hell!
(meanwhile...)
Ivan - (fwaps Pikel) You durn Doodad! You went and got us lost!
Pikel - Doodad?
Ivan - Yes you. You got us lost!
(The two brothers have been wandering aimlessly around town for several hours now)
Ivan - (grumbles) Durn Doodad. You made us loose a chance to appear in chapter two.
Pikel - (scratches his head) Oi?
Ivan - (slaps his forehead) Moradin, give me strength.
Pikel - (starts dancing in a circle) Oo, oi, oo, oi.
Ivan - (bewildered, scratches his head) What're ye doin' Pikel?
Pikel - Doodad. Oi!
Ivan - (a little scared) O. K.
(A black Ford Tundra, complete with seat belts in the flat-bed, screeches to a halt next to the brothers. A skinny, brown-haired, black clad girl with ebony sunglasses leans out the driver side window.)
Ivan - (hopeful) Hey, do you suppose you could tell us where we are?
Driver - (stoned prophetic-like) In a ramble of idiotic proportions, short, bearded man.
Ivan - Do you know where we can find a Semdai Bloodquill?
Driver - (peers over the top of her sunglasses at the dwarf) What? (imitates Russian accent) You don't recognize me, Ivan?
Ivan - (squints) Oh! There you are Semdai.
Pikel - Oo oi!
Semdai - (back to stoned prophet tone) We missed you two last chapter, where were you?
Drizzt - (from the back seat) Semdai, you're not driving stoned, are you?
Semdai - (normal, AKA squeaky teenager, voice) Of course not, I just like talking that way. It's fun.
Entreri/Zaknafein/Dinin - (in the flat bed seat belts [of which there are 7]) Who's driving stoned!?
Semdai - (twists around) Nobody's driving stoned, now settle down! (back to Ivan) You two wanna come with us or join Catti-brie behind McDonalds?
Ivan - What's the difference?
Entreri - (leans over the side of the truck) Semdai's team kicks ass and Catti-brie's just a stupid prima-donna who wants some attention and goes running to her precious daddy to get it.
Berg'inyon - (pats Entreri's back) Nicely put.
Entreri - (smugly) Thank you very much.
Ivan - Can we think about it?
Pikel - Oo oi oo.
Ivan - Catti-brie's team?
Pikel - Oo!
Ivan - Pikel wants to join Catti-brie.
Semdai - (shrugs) Suit yourselves, you can find her behind the McDonalds at the end of this street. (points the way) Later. (speeds away)
Jarlaxle - (riding shotgun) This is an interesting vehicle you have here, Semdai. (fiddles with the seat adjustments and ends up squishing Drizzt, who is sitting behind him, with the back of the seat)
Drizzt - (being squished) Ack!
Semdai - (reaches over and flips a switch on Jarlaxle's seat, making it snap back up) Quit screwing with the seat settings, Jarlaxle.
Jarlaxle - (mock salute) Yes ma'am.
Nalfein - (from the back seat behind Semdai) So where are we going?
Semdai - Doctor's office.
Nalfein - Aren't we strong enough to take on this Catti-brie now?
Semdai - Unfortunately, we are only (pauses to count) eight while Catti- brie ranks (pauses again) seven and holds one of our members captive.
Jarlaxle - (corrects her) Actually we are ten and Catti-brie is seven.
Semdai - (thinks) Oh yeah, Dantrag does count even though he is captured and we haven't really lost Kellindil. At least not yet.
Nalfein - We still out-number them.
Semdai - But we are not in proper fighting condition. Sure Zak and I got rabies, we can bite someone (punches the arm-rest) but it'll only do SO much.
Drizzt - (worried) Should we be letting a rabies-infected person be driving?
Semdai - (motherly tone) Drizzt, please stop wetting your pants every time we are reminded of mine and Zak's ailment.
(Police siren)
Semdai - Please don't let that be me. (checks the side view mirror) It is me. (pulls over) Gods Damn it.
Some Random Fat Police Officer[SRFPO] - (you guys remember this guy from chapter two, right? Big, donut-munching, fat police guy.) Can I see your license, Ma'am?
Semdai - (leans against the open window and hands the cop her license) You make it sound like I have a choice in the matter.
Jarlaxle - What is the meaning of this encounter, Semdai?
Semdai - Yeah, why'd you pull me over, Officer? I wasn't speeding.
SRFPO - No, but you have passengers in the back.
Semdai - (protests) Drizzt and Nalfein here are wearing their seat belts. (points behind her)
SRFPO - I mean those three in the flat bed.
Semdai - (whiny voice) They're wearing seat belts. And we're all over sixteen.
SRFPO - Your license says you are sixteen.
Semdai - (adds) And two months. Still over sixteen.
SRFPO - (hands Semdai back her license) Smart ass teenagers... (walks back to his car grumbling about donuts)
Semdai - (makes a rude sign at the departing officer before speeding off) Damn cops. Who's up for some Rob Zombie?
Entreri - Me!
(Meanwhile...)
(Three figures wander around the street in front of McDonald's, a toad-like creature holding a staff, a perky, little girl, and a tall, scary, one- armed, white-haired man.)
Tall, scary, one-armed, white-haired man - (who has an unnaturally calm and deep voice) Where have you led us?
Toad-like creature holding a staff - I'm not sure, Milord, but the staff has brought us here for some reason.
Tall, scary, one-armed, white-haired man - (unnerving calm again) If you have lead us astray again you will die.
Perky, little girl - Lord Sesshomaru! (clings to tall, scary, one-armed, white-haired man's sleeve) Where are we? This isn't Japan!
Tall, scary, one-armed, white-haired man[AKA Sesshomaru] - Stop whining, Rin.
Rin - (stands rigid and salutes Sesshomaru) Yes, my Lord.
Sesshomaru - Jaken, where are we? The Tetsusaiga is obviously not here.
Jaken - (frantically in his squeaky voice) I don't know, My Lord! The staff must have brought us here for a reason!
(Faint hints of Rob Zombie music in the background.)
Rin - Lord Sesshomaru, what is that sound?
Sesshomaru - Music.
(A modified Ford Tundra zooms around the corner and not only almost flattens Jaken but also drenches the toad-like creature in puddle water)
Jaken - (shakes his wet clothes) Why that little wretch!
Sesshomaru - (mentally laughs his butt off at Jaken)...
Rin - (really laughs her butt off at Jaken) HA ha!
Sesshomaru - (calmly but also smiling) Finally some entertainment in this dull place.
(Back with our [coughs] heroes...)
Semdai - (leans out her window) Was that Sesshomaru?
Jarlaxle - (confused) Who is Sesshomaru?
Semdai - He's from a Japanese manga/anime series called Inuyasha. What would he be doing here? This is a Forgotten Realms fic.
Drizzt - (spacey like) Who knows...
Semdai - (shrugs) Must be a misprint in my filing.
Jarlaxle - So what do that cop want you for, Semdai?
Semdai - They think I'm a terrorist or something.
Drizzt - But you ARE a terrorist.
Semdai - If they find out, I get in loads of trouble.
Drizzt - I see...
Semdai - Here we are! (pulls into a parking lot, taking up two spaces because she can't park straight) Doctor Hoggart's office! (jumps out, the others follow)
Drizzt - (stretches) I call shotgun on the way back!
Jarlaxle - (defensively) Over my dead body, Paladin-boy.
Drizzt - (snaps his fingers and swipes the air in front of him) Fudge in a barrel.
Entreri - What the Hell kind of curse is that?
Drizzt - Semdai taught it to me.
Entreri - (starts to say the 'P' word) Pu-
(Semdai tackles Entreri, pins him down with her legs, grabs his hair in one hand, and puts a knife to his throat with the other before the full word gets out. Her brown eyes glower with anger.)
Semdai - (slowly and seething with venom) Don't you ever, EVER let me catch you uttering that word outside of its proper context, if you do I will personally liberate your entrails, string them on barbed wire, strangle you with them, then hang them and you on my walls as decorations.
FYI - Anyone who knows me personally knows I get very offended when I hear the word 'Pussy' used in improper context. I don't mind it when it's used in reference to cats but if I hear it used to indicate 'something else' I get offended and start beating heads in.
Entreri - (about to wet his pants and crying like a scared little kid) Ok Semdai, I wont ever say it again! I swear!
Semdai - (backs off slowly) On your balls, Artemis Entreri. (licks her knife before putting it away)
Entreri - (gets up shakily, not daring to say 'don't call me Artemis')...
(Awkward silence. Everybody stares unbelieving at Semdai. Some gulp.)
Semdai - (reverts back to her normal, perky self) Now that that's out of my system, what say we go see the doc! Eh? (skips toward the office)
The Males - (exchange stunned looks, shrug, then follow)
To be continued...
AN : I think these chapters are too long... Maybe if I split some of them up it will be easier to post them... What do you readers think? Of course this chapter isn't done yet but the next one will pick up right where this one left off. And BTW, I still need suggestions for places to send our 'heros' when they go trick or treating in chapter 4 [not the next one cuz that's 3 part 2, the next one after that one.] Nobody sent me any suggestions... (sniffles) C'mon guys, just name a place! My friend Alyse wants them to go to Mirkwood[LOTR] and my other friend Megan said to send them Cow tipping[don't ask you'll find out] help me out here! Author in need!
Chapter 3: Rabies, Retaliation, and Rob Zombie Part One
(In the very small elevator on their way to the first floor. Annoying elevator music plays in the background)
Semdai - (taps her foot) This music is so annoying.
Dantrag - You said so in the opening paragraph.
Semdai - (annoyed) Dantrag, what are you doing here?
Dantrag - Being yelled at by you.
Semdai - (very annoyed) You are supposed to be with Catti-brie.
Dantrag - (shrugs) The dumb bitch sucked. I had to ditch her.
Berg'inyon - (slyly) What did she suck?
Semdai - Berg'inyon, shut up. (laughs) Still, that was great. (attention goes back to Dantrag) Now you need to go back to Catti-brie's hideout behind McDonalds and wait for us to rescue you.
Dantrag - (whines) Why do I have to?
Semdai - (points to the top of the document) Because this chapter is titled 'Rabies, Retaliation, and Rob Zombie' and we will have Rabies, Retaliation, and Rob Zombie in this chapter. Now how can we retaliate against Catti- brie if you are not there for us to save?
Dantrag - (whines some more) But why me? How come YOU can't be the one to get saved?
Semdai - Why would you guys want to save me?
Drizzt - Yeah! We could do that whole Damsel-in-distress act!
Semdai - Are you guys kidding? The moment I left, you'd all start rummaging for valuables to sell on the black market.
Drizzt - (strongly) We would not!
Entreri - (simply) Besides, Regis already cleaned out all the good stuff.
Jarlaxle - (stupidly) I was wondering why Regis doesn't talk in chapter one.
Semdai - (growls) Well I'll get Regis back in the next chapter, and Dantrag you need to go back to Catti-brie's place.
Dantrag - (decides that it's not a good idea to argue with Semdai when she growls) Ok.
Semdai - (acidly) And don't go escaping again this time. (teleports Dantrag back to Catti-brie's hideout.)
Berg'inyon - (sneers) Geez, who lit the fuse on your tampon.
Others - (gasp)
Semdai - (glares at Berg'inyon) You're lucky that Drizzt and Entreri are blocking my path or I would throw something at you.
Jarlaxle - (coughs into his hand) Author powers.
Semdai - (slyly) Oh right... (uses 'author powers' to throw her last mexi- fry, which magically passes through Drizzt and Entreri's heads and hits Berg'inyon)
Berg'inyon - (whipes mexi-fry off his forehead) Why are you so bull-headed and nasty sometimes?
Semdai - (simply) The bull-headedness I get from my father, but am I really so nasty?
Berg'inyon - You threaten to throw things at me. (pause) You DO throw things at me!
Semdai - Does that make me nasty?
Jarlaxle - (sexy tone) Not to me. (moves closer to Semdai and strokes her shoulder lovingly)
Entreri - (revolted) Jarlaxle please! This is a tight, enclosed area and the rest of us can't get out of your path.
Semdai - (sadly) And I still have the rabies.
Jarlaxle - (sighs) Damn the misguided actions that put us in this predicament.
Semdai - Asanque. [likewise in drow tongue for those that didn't pay attention in the last chap.]
(A moment of silence in which the elevator music turns from annoying to REALLY annoying)
Semdai - All right, I'm not taking this stupid elevator music anymore. Clear a path, boys. (squeezes over to the control panel and fiddles with it)
Zaknafein - (squished against the wall next to the panel) What are you doing?
Semdai - Changing the music. (the annoying music is suddenly replaced by blaring Rob Zombie) Ah much better.
(Another moment of quiet while Rob Zombie's song 'Dragula' blares)
Entreri - (feels a twinge in his mind)
Semdai - (singing along) Dead I am the one, exterminate the sun, flipping through the trees, strangling the breeze! (starts head banging)
Jarlaxle - (starts bobbing his head to the song)
Entreri - (also starts singing) Dead I am the rat, feast upon the cat, tender is the fur, dying as you burn!
Berg'inyon - Whoa. Entreri has become enthusiastic.
Drizzt - Meilikki save us all. (pauses) Except Entreri.
Semdai - (nudges Berg'inyon) Now who's the nasty one?
Berg'inyon - (grins) Still you.
Semdai - Damn right! (pauses) Wait.
Entreri - (still singing) Dead I am the dog, hound of hell you cry, devil on your back, I can never die!
Jarlaxle - (cocks his head) He seems to be enjoying himself.
Semdai - So it would seem.
Zaknafein - What floor are we on?
Semdai - (looks at the panel) Twenty-five.
Drizzt - (stretches) So how are we going to go about saving Kellindil and rescuing Dantrag and all that? (pops his neck) Ouch.
Semdai - You aren't supposed to stretch that far Drizzt.
Drizzt - (rubs his neck) Noted.
Semdai - First we have to visit someone who might help us with this quest, then we go see Dr. Hoggart.
Jarlaxle - Who?
Semdai - My family doctor.
Entreri - (mindlessly sings along with the Rob Zombie music as the song changes to 'Living Dead Girl')
Drizzt - Why are we going to see your doctor?
Semdai - Two reasons, first I need to pick up my prescription for a Flonase re-fill.
Drizzt - What in the Nine Hells is Flonase?
Semdai - (pulls a bottle with a squirter attached to it out of her pocket) This is Flonase.
Jarlaxle - (intrigued) And what is the function of this Flonase?
Semdai - Observe. (jams the squirter up one nostril and breathes in a spray of Flonase with a deep inhale through her nose) Ack! The old lady perfumy smell! (snorts a few times and repeats the motion with the other nostril) I hate this stuff.
Jarlaxle - Then why must you use it?
Semdai - (mockingly technical) 'cause my doctor says I have weak lungs and bad allergies and the Flonase will help make my bronchial tubes stronger.
Zaknafein - What's the second reason?
Semdai - For what?
Zaknafein - Going to the doctor's office.
Semdai - You and me need rabies shots so we don't end up like Kellindil.
Zaknafein - (gulps) Did you say 'shots?'
Semdai - Yeah.
Entreri - (singing along) Crawl on me!
Zaknafein - (growing scared) Does that include needles?
Entreri - (singing...still) Singing to me!
Semdai - (squints at Zaknafein like he's an idiot) Yeah.
Entreri - (still singing) Dance for me!
Zaknafein - (gulps again and presses against the wall) ...needles... (starts shaking)
Entreri - (STILL singing) Living dead girl!
Semdai - (studies Zaknafein) Zak, don't tell me you're afraid of needles.
Drizzt - He has a phobia of needles.
Entreri - (head banging) Blood on her skin!
Semdai - Needle-phobia eh?
Entreri - (Moment of euphoria) Dripping with sin!
Zaknafein - (nods)
Entreri - (take a wild guess) Do it again!
Semdai - Well you're just going to have to break that fear, now aren't you?
Entreri - (not bothering at this point) Living Dead Girl!
(The elevator dings, the music stops)
Entreri - (frantically) Hey! Who killed the music?
Semdai - C'mon boys, we have reached Floor 2! (dashes out of the elevator)
Drizzt - Weren't we going to the Floor 1?
Semdai - (reading the numbers on the doors) We have to stop and pick up some friends of mine first.
Berg'inyon - (steps out of the elevator) Who?
Semdai - (ignores him) 662... 664... Ah! Here we are, Room 666.
Drizzt - (fearfully) 666?
Zaknafein - Who would live in a room numbered 666?
Semdai - (pushes a button next to the door and the metal door slides up, revealing a darkened room that resembles a prison cell with two cots) I hope they're awake. (sweetly) Oh House Do'Urden's Elderboy!
Drizzt/Zaknafein - (shocked) House Do'Urden's Elderboy!?
Jarlaxle - (not shocked) Which one?
(The living occupant of Room 666 leaps from the cot where he had been resting and charges at the door, only to crash into the glass covering the opening)
Semdai - You will never learn, will you?
Jarlaxle - (intrigued) Was that Dinin?
Dinin - (getting up and rubbing his forehead where he hit the glass) Oh course it's me.
Drizzt - (slightly confused) I thought Vierna turned you into a drider.
Dinin - She did.
Drizzt - (utterly confused) Then why are you locked in there as a drow?
Dinin - (sarcastically) For that I have Semdai to thank.
Semdai - Technically Dinin, you're not locked in there.
Dinin - (snorts) Then why is the button that opens the door out there?
Semdai - I mean it, I let you out when you ask nicely.
Dinin - Sometimes.
Semdai - This is your punishment you know.
Dinin - (sighs) Yes, yes, I know, (lecturing voice) if I hadn't stolen your undergarments and proceeded to display them on the walls of your High School then I wouldn't be in here with Nalfein.
Semdai - Speaking of whom, where is he?
Dinin - (nervously) Um... sleeping!
Semdai - (sternly) Dinin Do'Urden, what did you do with Nalfein?
Drizzt - You have Nalfein in there too?
Semdai - What better punishment for Dinin than to imprison him with the drow he most hates?
Dinin - (insisting) I told you, he's taking a nap.
Semdai - (smirking) How long of a nap?
Dinin - (caught in a corner) Uh... (laughs nervously) He won't be waking up anytime soon.
Semdai - That makes the score N22-D14-S30 in favor of Nalfein. (marks on a sheet of paper hanging next to the doorway and presses another button) You've still got a long ways to go, Dinin.
Berg'inyon - What does that mean, N22-D14-S30?
Semdai - Ever since I put the two in there together they have been amusing themselves by killing eachother. Nalfein has killed Dinin 22 times, Dinin has managed to slay Nalfein 14 times, and 30 times they have ended up killing eachother, resulting in a stalemate.
Dinin - (grumbles) I'd have more if you would give us something to fight with.
Jarlaxle - What have you currently got?
Dinin - A ball of twine, a screwdriver, a wax candlestick, a plastic wrench, a squirt gun, and four butter-knives.
Zaknafein - Interesting choice of weaponry.
Semdai - What usually happens is they end up staring at eachother until one finally passes out and the one remaining awake strangles the sleeper.
Entreri - That sounds boring. Why not put those butter-knives to use and duel to the death?
Dinin - We tried that. We ended up with one butter-knife in each other's right eye and the other up our left nostrils.
Semdai - Since then they have not touched the butter-knives.
(A yawn from the second cot draws their attention. Nalfein sits up and scratches his head)
Nalfein - Did I fall asleep?
Semdai - Yes Nalfein, and Dinin increased his score while you were out.
Nalfein - (growls something)
Semdai - What was that?
Nalfein - (calmly pulls the plastic squirt gun out from under his pillow and shoots Dinin with water) Bastard.
Dinin - Ah! My eyes! (thrashes wildly)
Nalfein - (grabs the screwdriver from Dinin's bed and jumps on the thrashing drow) DIE, YOU UNDERHANDED TACTIC USEING BASTARD!!! (stabs Dinin with the screwdriver)
Semdai - Ooh! Their at it again!
Dinin - (tries to fight back and manages to catch both of Nalfein's hands and holds them at bay) NO! (strains) You won't beat me this time!
Nalfein - Yes I will! (bites Dinin's ear)
Dinin - (screams in pain)
Berg'inyon - (disturbed) Kinky.
Jarlaxle - (inches closer to Semdai)
Semdai - (calmly) Don't even think about it, Jarlaxle.
Berg'inyon - (giggles) Too late. (nudges Entreri, who is humming Rob Zombie tunes, and gestures at Jarlaxle)
Entreri - (notices what Berg'inyon means) Whopper with cheese, anyone?
Semdai - (gives Jarlaxle a suspicious look) Whopper with cheese?
Jarlaxle - (not catching on) Actually I like Grilled Stuffed Burrito better.
The other males - (burst out laughing)
Semdai - (curiously reads back over the past few lines and gets what they are laughing at) Oh you guys are BAD! (laughs with them)
Jarlaxle - (bewildered) What?
Nalfein - (presses against the glass) What's so funny?
Jarlaxle - I really don't know.
Nalfein - How old are you?
Jarlaxle - 560 next week, why?
Nalfein - You look like you're 16.
Jarlaxle - Oh yeah, I forgot Semdai turned us into teens in chapter one.
Nalfein - What chapter are we on now?
Jarlaxle - (thinks) 3.
Nalfein - (softly) Oh. (pause) Ok.
Jarlaxle - Where's Dinin?
Nalfein - (turns just in time to see Dinin, bleeding from several screwdriver wounds, throw a twine noose around his neck) Ack!
Dinin - (tackles Nalfein, pulling the twine) Please don't snap. Please don't snap.
Jarlaxle - (simply) There he is.
Semdai - (recovering from the laughing exertion) What'd I miss?
Jarlaxle - Dinin is strangling Nalfein!
Semdai - (presses against the glass) Ooh... Blood...
Dinin - (pushes the now dead Nalfein to the ground) Ha! (gasps and clutches his many wounds) I have... beaten... Nalfein... (dies of his injuries and falls beside Nalfein)
Semdai - (marks on her score sheet) N22-D14-S31 (she presses the two buttons next to the score sheet and both brothers stand up again)
Jarlaxle - Whoa! You brought them back to life with just the press of a button! Cool...
Semdai - And handy. So, how would you two like to come with us?
Dinin - (amazed) Out into the outside world?
Semdai - Yes, Dinin, into the outside world.
Nalfein - (bewildered) You mean there's a world beyond this room?
Dinin - (smacks Nalfein up the back side of his head AKA fwapping) Wael [drow for fool]
Semdai - You've been in there too long. (presses another button, opening he glass door) You two are coming with us.
Dinin - Free at last! (dashes out only to be shot with one of Semdai's magic light balls, clothesline effect) Ack!
Semdai - First you have to become teens like the rest of us. (shoots Nalfein as he lingers in the doorway)
Jarlaxle - You shouldn't linger in doorways, Nalfein, it could be hazardous to your health.
Zaknafein - Yeah, bad things can happen to you, especially doorways with glass panels.
Nalfein - (stands and shakes himself) What could possibly happen to me while standing in a doorway?
Semdai - (shocked) He's obviously never seen the movie Thirteen Ghosts!
Drizzt - (shudders) That movie scared me with those freaky ghosts and all.
Berg'inyon - (confused) Was that the movie we all watched at your friend Tasha's house with the ghost of that naked chick?
Zaknafein - The ghost of the Angry Princess.
Entreri - (perverted grin) Oh yeah. She was a fox.
Berg'inyon - (doesn't get it) She wasn't a fox.
Entreri - (even more perverted grin) You're right, she was a vixen.
Zaknafein - Friggin' scary temper though.
Entreri - (fantasizing about the Angry Princess) Still... she had some nice endowments.
Semdai - (shakes her head) Males...
Jarlaxle - Are you controlling them right now?
Semdai - No, I'm worn out from a hard day of High School and I just thought 'oh Hell with this it's more fun when I let them say what they want anyway.'
Nalfein - (scratches his head) What does this 'Fox' term mean?
Semdai - Means they thought she was hot.
Nalfein - She was burning or something?
Semdai - (fwaps Nalfein) No, meaning she was good looking.
Nalfein - (finally gets it) Oh! So what were you saying about the danger of doorways?
Semdai - (assumes a pensive pose) Well, the stupid and greedy lawyer in Thirteen Ghosts was dumb enough to stand in a doorway that had sliding glass doors. To make a long story short, the glass panel doors closed on him and (enthusiastically) sliced him in half!
Jarlaxle - (makes a sound like splitting flesh)
Semdai - (stoner-like) It was friggin' sweet, man.
Jarlaxle - (eagerly) Totally, especially when his front half slide down the glass and his back half was still standing.
Semdai - (grinning like mad) Juicy...
Nalfein - (steps out of the doorway) Right. (clears his throat) So what's been happening since we were locked in there?
Semdai - Dantrag has been kidnapped by Catti-brie and Kellindil has been infected with rabies and now we have to save them and cure me and Zak of the rabidness before it takes us too.
Nalfein - (sarcastically) Sounds fun.
Semdai - (checks her watch) Oh crap! We gotta go! (takes off down the hall)
Jarlaxle - (runs after her) Why?
Semdai - We're gonna be late! (yells back) Beat feet you guys!
Berg'inyon - (confused) Beat feet?
Semdai - My Dad says it. It means run like hell!
(meanwhile...)
Ivan - (fwaps Pikel) You durn Doodad! You went and got us lost!
Pikel - Doodad?
Ivan - Yes you. You got us lost!
(The two brothers have been wandering aimlessly around town for several hours now)
Ivan - (grumbles) Durn Doodad. You made us loose a chance to appear in chapter two.
Pikel - (scratches his head) Oi?
Ivan - (slaps his forehead) Moradin, give me strength.
Pikel - (starts dancing in a circle) Oo, oi, oo, oi.
Ivan - (bewildered, scratches his head) What're ye doin' Pikel?
Pikel - Doodad. Oi!
Ivan - (a little scared) O. K.
(A black Ford Tundra, complete with seat belts in the flat-bed, screeches to a halt next to the brothers. A skinny, brown-haired, black clad girl with ebony sunglasses leans out the driver side window.)
Ivan - (hopeful) Hey, do you suppose you could tell us where we are?
Driver - (stoned prophetic-like) In a ramble of idiotic proportions, short, bearded man.
Ivan - Do you know where we can find a Semdai Bloodquill?
Driver - (peers over the top of her sunglasses at the dwarf) What? (imitates Russian accent) You don't recognize me, Ivan?
Ivan - (squints) Oh! There you are Semdai.
Pikel - Oo oi!
Semdai - (back to stoned prophet tone) We missed you two last chapter, where were you?
Drizzt - (from the back seat) Semdai, you're not driving stoned, are you?
Semdai - (normal, AKA squeaky teenager, voice) Of course not, I just like talking that way. It's fun.
Entreri/Zaknafein/Dinin - (in the flat bed seat belts [of which there are 7]) Who's driving stoned!?
Semdai - (twists around) Nobody's driving stoned, now settle down! (back to Ivan) You two wanna come with us or join Catti-brie behind McDonalds?
Ivan - What's the difference?
Entreri - (leans over the side of the truck) Semdai's team kicks ass and Catti-brie's just a stupid prima-donna who wants some attention and goes running to her precious daddy to get it.
Berg'inyon - (pats Entreri's back) Nicely put.
Entreri - (smugly) Thank you very much.
Ivan - Can we think about it?
Pikel - Oo oi oo.
Ivan - Catti-brie's team?
Pikel - Oo!
Ivan - Pikel wants to join Catti-brie.
Semdai - (shrugs) Suit yourselves, you can find her behind the McDonalds at the end of this street. (points the way) Later. (speeds away)
Jarlaxle - (riding shotgun) This is an interesting vehicle you have here, Semdai. (fiddles with the seat adjustments and ends up squishing Drizzt, who is sitting behind him, with the back of the seat)
Drizzt - (being squished) Ack!
Semdai - (reaches over and flips a switch on Jarlaxle's seat, making it snap back up) Quit screwing with the seat settings, Jarlaxle.
Jarlaxle - (mock salute) Yes ma'am.
Nalfein - (from the back seat behind Semdai) So where are we going?
Semdai - Doctor's office.
Nalfein - Aren't we strong enough to take on this Catti-brie now?
Semdai - Unfortunately, we are only (pauses to count) eight while Catti- brie ranks (pauses again) seven and holds one of our members captive.
Jarlaxle - (corrects her) Actually we are ten and Catti-brie is seven.
Semdai - (thinks) Oh yeah, Dantrag does count even though he is captured and we haven't really lost Kellindil. At least not yet.
Nalfein - We still out-number them.
Semdai - But we are not in proper fighting condition. Sure Zak and I got rabies, we can bite someone (punches the arm-rest) but it'll only do SO much.
Drizzt - (worried) Should we be letting a rabies-infected person be driving?
Semdai - (motherly tone) Drizzt, please stop wetting your pants every time we are reminded of mine and Zak's ailment.
(Police siren)
Semdai - Please don't let that be me. (checks the side view mirror) It is me. (pulls over) Gods Damn it.
Some Random Fat Police Officer[SRFPO] - (you guys remember this guy from chapter two, right? Big, donut-munching, fat police guy.) Can I see your license, Ma'am?
Semdai - (leans against the open window and hands the cop her license) You make it sound like I have a choice in the matter.
Jarlaxle - What is the meaning of this encounter, Semdai?
Semdai - Yeah, why'd you pull me over, Officer? I wasn't speeding.
SRFPO - No, but you have passengers in the back.
Semdai - (protests) Drizzt and Nalfein here are wearing their seat belts. (points behind her)
SRFPO - I mean those three in the flat bed.
Semdai - (whiny voice) They're wearing seat belts. And we're all over sixteen.
SRFPO - Your license says you are sixteen.
Semdai - (adds) And two months. Still over sixteen.
SRFPO - (hands Semdai back her license) Smart ass teenagers... (walks back to his car grumbling about donuts)
Semdai - (makes a rude sign at the departing officer before speeding off) Damn cops. Who's up for some Rob Zombie?
Entreri - Me!
(Meanwhile...)
(Three figures wander around the street in front of McDonald's, a toad-like creature holding a staff, a perky, little girl, and a tall, scary, one- armed, white-haired man.)
Tall, scary, one-armed, white-haired man - (who has an unnaturally calm and deep voice) Where have you led us?
Toad-like creature holding a staff - I'm not sure, Milord, but the staff has brought us here for some reason.
Tall, scary, one-armed, white-haired man - (unnerving calm again) If you have lead us astray again you will die.
Perky, little girl - Lord Sesshomaru! (clings to tall, scary, one-armed, white-haired man's sleeve) Where are we? This isn't Japan!
Tall, scary, one-armed, white-haired man[AKA Sesshomaru] - Stop whining, Rin.
Rin - (stands rigid and salutes Sesshomaru) Yes, my Lord.
Sesshomaru - Jaken, where are we? The Tetsusaiga is obviously not here.
Jaken - (frantically in his squeaky voice) I don't know, My Lord! The staff must have brought us here for a reason!
(Faint hints of Rob Zombie music in the background.)
Rin - Lord Sesshomaru, what is that sound?
Sesshomaru - Music.
(A modified Ford Tundra zooms around the corner and not only almost flattens Jaken but also drenches the toad-like creature in puddle water)
Jaken - (shakes his wet clothes) Why that little wretch!
Sesshomaru - (mentally laughs his butt off at Jaken)...
Rin - (really laughs her butt off at Jaken) HA ha!
Sesshomaru - (calmly but also smiling) Finally some entertainment in this dull place.
(Back with our [coughs] heroes...)
Semdai - (leans out her window) Was that Sesshomaru?
Jarlaxle - (confused) Who is Sesshomaru?
Semdai - He's from a Japanese manga/anime series called Inuyasha. What would he be doing here? This is a Forgotten Realms fic.
Drizzt - (spacey like) Who knows...
Semdai - (shrugs) Must be a misprint in my filing.
Jarlaxle - So what do that cop want you for, Semdai?
Semdai - They think I'm a terrorist or something.
Drizzt - But you ARE a terrorist.
Semdai - If they find out, I get in loads of trouble.
Drizzt - I see...
Semdai - Here we are! (pulls into a parking lot, taking up two spaces because she can't park straight) Doctor Hoggart's office! (jumps out, the others follow)
Drizzt - (stretches) I call shotgun on the way back!
Jarlaxle - (defensively) Over my dead body, Paladin-boy.
Drizzt - (snaps his fingers and swipes the air in front of him) Fudge in a barrel.
Entreri - What the Hell kind of curse is that?
Drizzt - Semdai taught it to me.
Entreri - (starts to say the 'P' word) Pu-
(Semdai tackles Entreri, pins him down with her legs, grabs his hair in one hand, and puts a knife to his throat with the other before the full word gets out. Her brown eyes glower with anger.)
Semdai - (slowly and seething with venom) Don't you ever, EVER let me catch you uttering that word outside of its proper context, if you do I will personally liberate your entrails, string them on barbed wire, strangle you with them, then hang them and you on my walls as decorations.
FYI - Anyone who knows me personally knows I get very offended when I hear the word 'Pussy' used in improper context. I don't mind it when it's used in reference to cats but if I hear it used to indicate 'something else' I get offended and start beating heads in.
Entreri - (about to wet his pants and crying like a scared little kid) Ok Semdai, I wont ever say it again! I swear!
Semdai - (backs off slowly) On your balls, Artemis Entreri. (licks her knife before putting it away)
Entreri - (gets up shakily, not daring to say 'don't call me Artemis')...
(Awkward silence. Everybody stares unbelieving at Semdai. Some gulp.)
Semdai - (reverts back to her normal, perky self) Now that that's out of my system, what say we go see the doc! Eh? (skips toward the office)
The Males - (exchange stunned looks, shrug, then follow)
To be continued...
AN : I think these chapters are too long... Maybe if I split some of them up it will be easier to post them... What do you readers think? Of course this chapter isn't done yet but the next one will pick up right where this one left off. And BTW, I still need suggestions for places to send our 'heros' when they go trick or treating in chapter 4 [not the next one cuz that's 3 part 2, the next one after that one.] Nobody sent me any suggestions... (sniffles) C'mon guys, just name a place! My friend Alyse wants them to go to Mirkwood[LOTR] and my other friend Megan said to send them Cow tipping[don't ask you'll find out] help me out here! Author in need!