D1$cla1m3r: I don't own this they are just used for entertainment purposes
only.
Chapter 5:
The next morning was cloudy. The thick dark clouds hung heavy in the air threatening to rain on any unlucky schmuck who stepped out of their protective shelters without their umbrellas.
It was to this dark and dreary day that Ranma greeted the morning. He was in his bed in his room. The curtains were wide open as he didn't have time to close them last night. As he sat up his muscles protested the movement. He felt totally drained from last nights activities.
Looking around it was easy to see why he was so tired. Part of his shirt was laying across his dresser and the other half was over his stereo. A quick glance confirmed that he could not find his underwear anywhere in visual range. The sheets were in major disarray and looked like they had fifty linebackers run over them with their cleats still on. He really should think of a better way to do this so that their claws wouldn't do so much damage. The floor was strewn with used condoms and condom packages. His mother would be thrilled with the sheer number of them littering his floor.
Rolling out of bed despite the protests of his muscles he started cleaning up the mess around his bed. Making sure to cover the condoms etc with the remains of his clothes, He then tied the bag shut and hid it in his room. Taking out the incriminating evidence later tonight and hiding it with the burnable trash. He he he perfect crime.
Little did he know that the neighbors called animal control last night complaining about the noisy cats. That and when the girls went downstairs this morning they were immediately jumped on by Mrs. Saotome and made to spill their guts on everything that happened last night.
The doomed never know they're doomed until it's too late.
Once he'd cleaned up the evidence, or at least as much of it as he could, he inch wormed over to his dresser. Reaching up he pulled his boxer shorts out of the drawer. It took some feats of acrobatics to put on his gitch but he eventually got it on. The crawl from the drawer to the door took 3 minutes. Opening the door took 5.
In the hallway he met Walter who was also crawling his way to the washroom to get cleaned up and hopefully get some of his energy back. Walter was in his hybrid form and he was barely crawling along.
"Aaaaah cat." He said without any enthusiasm.
He then dropped his head to the floor so that he couldn't see Walter. He transformed to his hybrid state his tail popping out of the back of his boxers. He felt a bit of his strength return. It wasn't enough to stand but it was enough to grab Walter and drag him along.
The furo was downstairs in the back. Luckily the house had a second set of stairs so that bathers didn't have to go through the main foyer in a towel or bathrobe.
Gravity is a wonderful thing when encountering stairs.
When they reached the door Ranma opened it and pulled both himself and Walter inside. Once inside he slid the door closed. Like himself Walter was wearing only his underwear. Unlike him Walter was wearing tighty whities.
He had been in the furo before but he had never appreciated the design of it until now.
The furo area was quite large easily three times the size of the Tendo's. It had four wash stations complete with shower heads for rinsing. Instead of tile the floor was either marble or granite that was pitted with bumps and grooves so that it was non slip. On the walls were painted a multitude of cat species in various poses. He made a mental note to never come in here in his human form. The actual furo itself was like a small pool rather than the normal rectangles that most people had. The great thing about it was that it was sunken into the floor like a pool.
He felt somebody pat him on the shoulder. Looking back he saw Walter's hand on his shoulder his thankful face looking back at him.
"You're a good boy you know that?" He said in an extremely tired voice.
"Yeah well it's not overrrr yet. Come on this will make both of us feel betterrrr." Ranma said as he pulled off his boxers. He looked back at Walter.
"Just go I'll have to clean it out anyway."
He then dragged both of them over the side and into the water. He had to pull Walter above the surface so that he wouldn't drown. He sat Walter on the bottom of the pool and then sat beside him to make sure that he didn't slip down.
They sat like that for a while neither one speaking but both of them getting their energy back, their muscles unknotting and relaxing in the hot water of the bath. Ranma briefly considered getting some shampoo or something but it was over at the wash area and that would mean getting out of the nice comfy water. Oh well so he'd smell for a bit no biggie.
"Hard night." Walter said offhand.
"Yeah. You?" He replied.
"Hard week. I don't get paid enough for this."
Walter was tired he must not know what he's saying. Thought Ranma as he scooted away a bit.
"Maybe you should ask for a rrrrraise?" He offered.
"I feel like a whore." Walter said as he slipped beneath the water.
Ranma hauled him up before he drowned.
"Yeah well therrre was Shampoo and Makoto last night."
"Did you satisfy them both?" Walter asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.
"I think so. They both seemed happy afterrrward so I guess so. It's just I've never been this tirrred beforrre!"
"You gave it your all. That's all you can do. Did you remember to use the condoms I left out for you?"
"Yeah we rrrememberrred each time." He put a goofy smile on his face. "It was umm interrresting when we had to change forrr the next rrround."
"I imagine the old flag pole got quite a bit of polish last night then."
If Ranma had never hung out with Hiroshe or Daisuke he would never have known what that obscure comment meant.
Lucky him.
"You're going to be late for school if you don't hurry." Walter said sensing that Ranma was still uncomfortable with the subject.
Ranma eeped and jumped out of the water creating a miniature water spout spilling a lot on the floor. He shook himself dry like a cat sending water flying in every direction. He jumped into his boxer shorts and ran out of the room.
As soon as he left Walter slipped under the water a small patch of bubbles on the surface was the only indication of his being there.
In his room Ranma quickly shifted back to his human form grabbed a towel from his closet and quickly dried off. He put on his uniform and ran out of his room. What little strength that he'd gotten back from his little soak was running out quickly.
When he got to the dining room Shampoo and Makoto were waiting for him along with his mother. Makoto and his mother were in their human form much to his relief. On the table was a huge assortment of various foods.
"Come on Ranma eat up you don't want to be late for school do you?" His mother said while pulling out his chair.
He quickly sat down and proceeded to shovel down as much food as he could.
This was how Pavlov started folks.
Both Shampoo and Makoto were framing Ranma on either side. They were alternating between feeding him and eating themselves. Both had permanent grins etched on their faces. When a little over half of the food was gone they noticed Cologne's staff moving along the side of the table. Shampoo and Makoto followed the staff until it stopped by Cologne's chair and stopped.
When Cologne finally jumped up onto her chair the reaction was unanimous.
"Monster!"
"Gargoyle!"
"Mmmf!"
"Elder you really need to learn when to stop drinking." This came from Nodoka who herself didn't look in top form.
Cologne of course didn't look anything like the old shrunken mummy that she normally looked like. Her normally white hair was dyed red, green and blue. Red on the left, green down the center and blue down the right. Her ears which had never been pierced before now had hoops in them. The same with her left nostril. There also appeared to be a chain running from the nostril ring to one of her earrings. Her right eyebrow had a metal dog bone piercing through it.
Moving on to her clothes next. She was wearing a white Sailor Moon baby doll tee with a neon pacifier tied around her neck with what looked like a spent glow string.
Nobody dared look farther down.
For those brave souls that dared to look at her eyes they couldn't look very long or their souls would be pulled from their bodies and hurled into some deep dark abyss.
"If you say one word... Just one single word I will kill you slowly."
Even though Ranma wasn't finished eating he felt that Walter would need some food so he quietly got up grabbed Shampoo and Makoto and ran for the door. Nodoka sat there calmly sipping her acetosalicylic tea for a few more moments.
"You know you really shouldn't have tried to pick up that guy he was young enough to be your great great great grandson." Commented Nodoka.
"Look at yourself trying to pickup that kid. What was he eighteen? Nineteen?" Cologne shot back. "That and the fact you're a MARRIED woman with a child of your own."
"Well soon to be widow."
"That's beside the point and you know it."
They sat in silence for a few minutes.
"I still say he wasn't drunk enough." Cologne said in a huff as she crossed her arms across her chest.
"You overestimate the delusional power of alcohol."
Shampoo, Ranma and Makoto were walking to school and for once Shampoo wasn't complaining about school or destroying property. The ordering was Ranma in the middle with Shampoo to his left and Makoto to his right.
Suddenly a monster appeared in front of them blocking their path.
The monster was a generic red skinned monster with spikes all over his body. He had a vaguely human shaped head. The weird thing was that this monster like the rest was male instead of the female monsters that the sailor scouts have fought in the past.
"Foolish humans your heart sparkles will soon belong to the master!"
Both Shampoo and Makoto looked at Ranma in expectation. He looked at each of them in turn.
"You've got to be kidding me after all the work I did last night?"
They turned the doe eyes on him.
"Alright fine." He said as they disengaged and he stepped forward.
"Ha ha foolish human so you want to be the first to die a horrible, gruesome and very painful oh so painful death!" The monster yelled as it extended its claws, spikes, and tentacles.
"You know I'm really really tired..." Ranma started as he checked to make sure there was nobody around before shifting to his hybrid form. The uniform developed several large tears in it. He winced as he realized that he had ruined another uniform and that his mother was so going to kill him. "so I'm going to make yourrr death as quick as I can because I'm kinda late for school." He said in a tired voice before extending his ki claws.
"Mommy." The monster whimpered.
Soon the trio was back on their way to school. Ranma had changed back to his human form but his uniform was a lost cause. It was a good thing that he had one of his maoist uniforms in his locker at school. It wasn't the best thing to wear but it beat going around naked the rest of the day no matter how much the girls might like it. He wondered if he could get Makoto or Shampoo to alter a few of his uniforms and a couple of his normal shirts and pants with the velcro tear zones like Makoto had on her uniform before it was destroyed. He knew his mom had money but destroying an entire set of clothes when he changed was just a stupid waste of money.
As they neared the school Ranma saw that he still had some time before class started. He pulled his arms from Shampoo and Makoto's grasps.
"I've got to change I'll see you in class." He said as he jumped the wall and took off for the guys changing room.
Makoto looked over at Shampoo who looked back at her.
"Well then I guess we should get to class then."
"Shampoo agree. Shampoo too too happy to kill school today." She said as she started walking towards the entrance.
"You know Shampoo that's something I'd like to see someday." Makoto commented falling in step with her.
"Makoto want help?" Shampoo said as she raised her eyebrow.
It was all she could do not to gulp. Before last night Makoto would have sworn up and down that she was straight as a rail when it came to her sexuality. Last night changed all that though and she was quite scarred about where that would lead. Last night she remembered a small tryst with Venus and Mercury back in the Moon Kingdom. Apparently that bit of AC/DC behavior had carried over to this lifetime as well.
Shampoo had of course insisted that she get to know her co-wife better since they would be working so close together. She was reluctant at first but eventually gave in. That girl could be so convincing at times with that broken Japanese of hers. Then there was Ranma because they didn't want to leave him out. Well Ranma was pretty simple he was the only heterosexual lesbian that she knew of. It was her reaction that had startled herself this badly. She had not only enjoyed it but with her memories she was able to show the amorous Shampoo a thing or two.
Everybody on the team knew of Rei's affection for the princess and that they covered it up by fighting all the time. She smiled as she thought of the havoc it would cause if she let this little bit of info out. She knew Haruka and Mirichu would be thrilled with some more playmates for their bedtime romps. She then remembered what Setsuna had said last night about them asking for permission to bed Ranma. She frowned at that thought. After last night she had no desire to share him any more than she had to.
On second thought maybe dropping the clues that they were all a lot closer back in the day would be a bad idea.
She looked back at Shampoo.
"Well if it gets damaged by a monster fight with the sailor scouts there's nothing we can do about it can we?" She smiled.
"Accidents do happen." Shampoo smiled back.
They had gotten into their class earlier than expected. For once in their lives Usagi and Minako were early. Once Makoto and Shampoo had taken their seats they were immediately swarmed by Usagi, Minako and Ami. Minako was the first to speak.
"So tell us how was it?" She asked.
"How was what?" Makoto tried bluffing.
"Having sex with Ranma of course." She replied.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Makoto said turning away from them.
"Don't give us that Mako-chan. Both you and Shampoo have those 'I just got laid' happy smiles on, the same as my parents get whenever they get it on so spill." Usagi said with a shudder. It always gave her the creeps when she knew her parents were going at it. She knew that they had to do it for her to be born but they were her parents and it was just wrong.
"My love life is none of your concern." Makoto retorted crossing her arms over her chest.
"What you three did last night has nothing to do with love, now spill." This from the closet voyeur Ami.
"Not telling." Makoto replied sticking her nose in the air.
The three girls rounded on Shampoo next. They were a little less comfortable around her but since Makoto wasn't talking.
"So Shampoo how was Ranma?" Minako asked in a very sweet voice.
Shampoo put her finger to her chin and thought for a moment.
"Him much better than Shampoo ever dream of in too too naughty dreams!" She exclaimed happily. "Cat tongue is rough and..." She stopped there and let them use their perverted minds to fill in the missing information.
"Don't I know it." Said both Usagi and Minako at the same time.
Ami edged just a bit farther away from her weird friends.
Usagi was thinking of how Luna would sometimes lick her face in the morning to get her to wake up.
Minako was thinking exactly what Shampoo was implying.
Artemis suddenly got the strangest feeling that there was a dagger right above his head just waiting to fall. He shrugged it off and went back to his singing. Right now he had a couple of strays outside. Maybe Mrs. Aino would get the message and let him out.
Back at school Ami was going to ask another question but was cut off by the teacher coming into the room. The males in the class gasped and then started drooling. The females except for five of them were glaring daggers at the substitute teacher.
Instead of Ms. Haruna it was Setsuna in a tight business suit; that even though very conservative showed off her curves to a degree that one would have to be blind not to realize that this was a woman. She walked up the front of the class and wrote her name on the board.
"Good morning class. Most of you know me as the schools counselor, but for the next few days I will be your homeroom teacher." She beamed a huge smile over the class. Several guys developed nosebleeds.
Ranma was just getting to class. He had a small accident in the change room that stuck him as a girl for a bit. He really hated the contractors in Juuban. They could fix damage just as fast as the ones in Nerima but their quality of work was severely lacking.
He carefully opened the back door as far as he could without making a sound and started to creep into the class. Just as he was about to take his seat a voice called out from the front of the class.
"Mr. Saotome if you would please tell the class why you are late and not in uniform, I'm sure they'd be happy to hear it." Setsuna said in a stern and commanding voice.
Ranma winced as he heard her speak.
"Umm I'd rather not." He said back.
"Well then I guess you wouldn't mind standing in the hallway then." She said as she gave him a late sign and a no uniform sign that she just happened to be holding. "The buckets are in the closet."
"Alright teacherrr." He purred just to freak her out a bit. She never even flinched.
And so here he was standing in the hallway holding two buckets with two signs hanging off his neck.
'Setsuna sure was happy this morning.' He thought. 'It must have something to do with how tired Walter was.' He shuddered at the though of what she must have done to him to make him that tired.
Eventually he was let back into class and the day progressed normally. Well as normal as was normal for this area of Tokyo. There were a couple of monsters rampaging around that needed to be taken down but they weren't much of a problem. Ranma slept through a couple of classes and Shampoo joined him. That earned the both of them some more hall time.
At last the final bell rung. The students crowded around the exits, frantic to get out of school before the teachers decided to change their minds and keep them in school for a while longer. Surprisingly enough neither Shampoo nor Ranma got detention for their actions during the day. As soon as everybody was outside Makoto started follow her friends heading towards the shrine.
"Hey where are you going?" Ranma asked as he started to follow.
Makoto looked back. "We're going to Rei's shrine. We usually hang out there after school." She said.
"Uhh sure." He said remembering the last time he was at the shrine. "You sure they aren't going to try to kill us or anything?"
"No..." she paused to remember Haruka. "Well Haruka might, just watch out for her."
"The shorthaired tomboy?" Ranma said.
"Yeah but if you call her that she really will try to kill you."
"Well she i...." He was cut off by a monster yelling.
"Die humans." It said while brandishing a wicked set of claws.
"You know somebody should get these things a better scriptwriter they sound worse than, no offense Shampoo, Shampoo." Ranma commented.
"Shampoo no mind. She just wonder if stupid monsters fight better than last ones."
On the other side of the monster Usagi, Ami, and Minako had used Makoto, Ranma and Shampoo's distraction of the monster to slip into an alleyway and change. They were just hiding around the corner watching while Ami scanned the monster.
"Well I've got some good news and some bad news." She said after her scan was finished.
"What's the good news?" Usagi asked. She really didn't need to know the bad news.
"Well the good news is that our magic can hurt it."
"So what's the bad news?" Minako asked.
"Well the bad news is that it's only vulnerable to fire and none of us can do fire."
Minako immediately flipped open her communicator and brought up Rei.
"Great time for Rei to not be here." Usagi said. "Well what we can do is stall it until Rei can get her ass over here."
"I just called her and she's about 10 minutes away." Minako said.
"Looks like we've got some work to do then." Usagi said as she stepped out from the alley. "Streets are for the use of cars... cars.... oh hell I can't think of a speech now maybe later."
"Foolish humans you can't stop the great Zantar. That's with a zed by the way."
"Venus crescent beam smash!" Shouted Venus as she shot off a stream of energy at the monster. It didn't do much.
"Only magical fire can hurt it!" Mercury shouted.
"Yeah I know." She shouted back. "But we need to do something."
Shampoo, Ranma and Makoto had hung back since there was nothing that they could do. Shampoo pulled the stick that Pluto had given her and looked at it again. Makoto saw what she was holding in her hand and her eyes bugged out.
"Where in the hell did you get that?!" She yelled.
"Horny old woman give it to me, when I is in tree hiding. This one forgot all about it." She pulled off the sticky note. "Wonder if it works?" She held the stick in the air and called out.
"Amalthea moon power make up!"
The transformation sequence was traditional senshi.... if one was on acid and smoking crack at the time. Shampoo's clothes flew off her leaving her totally naked for a few seconds while her visibly naked form was posed in various different sexy ways. Then she was covered in a neon plaid colour pattern as she was bounced around, stuffed and jiggled. Finally the disguise magic started up making a sound akin to Venus' Love Me Chainsaw.
When the transformation was complete what stood before them was like no senshi that they had ever seen before. She had a tight black leather bra that was little better than skin. Moving down there was nothing else except for a pair of leather g-string panties that left nothing to the imagination either. On her feet was a pair of high heeled pumps. At her side was a leather whip.
According to Anime Laws she had the highest AC of the group.
Even though he'd seen her in much less Ranma still keeled over with a nosebleed.
"Shampoo feel indecent." She said as she tried to cover herself with her hands.
"Don't worry guys I'm ack!" Mars said as she got a look at the newest senshi... and fell on her face.
The rest of the senshi who had watched her transform were stunned to say the least. Sure their uniforms were revealing but this was just... They thanked their lucky stars that their uniforms were just revealing and not... not... well whatever Shampoo ended up with.
"Umm Amalthea so what's your magic attack?" Makoto was curious to say the least.
"Uhh Magic come forth!" She said while holding out her hands.
A stream of technicolour lights shot from her hand and hit the monster.
There was no effect except the monster suddenly had an urge for a hotdog.
"Stupid magic Shampoo kill. Magic come forth!" She yelled again.
The monster was pelted with a stream of coins.
"Ow hey stop that!" The monster yelled before taking a step towards her.
"All right this is getting stupid." Mars said before walking over to where the monster was.
She made a fist with her thumb on the inside. She then flicked her thumb into a thumbs up position and a small flame like from a cigarette lighter appeared on the end of her thumb. She put the flame under it's butt. It quickly caught fire and burned to a pile of ash in a matter of seconds.
"And so the beautiful Sailor Mars saves the day again." She deadpanned. "I'm going home."
Everybody who was currently transformed stepped into the alley and dropped the transformation.
"Umm how Shampoo go back to normal?" She asked very very eager to get out of this outfit and back to her very concealing school uniform.
"Just think about dropping the transformation." Usagi told her.
She did so but there was a problem.
Her clothing rematerialized around her body but everything was upside down. She had to hold her skirt up to keep her breasts covered, her bra (which Mrs. Saotome insisted on) was around her waist and her panties were situated on her head.
"Shampoo kill horny old womans next time see her."
"Umm I'd appreciate it if you didn't." Commented Minako. "She's kinda usefull."
"Hurt her then?" She said while fixing her uniform.
"Ok just a bit." Usagi said helping Shampoo back into her uniform and getting some feels along the way.
Oh give her a break Mamouru hasn't been around for a while.
When they emerged from the alley Makoto had successfully roused Ranma from his forced slumber and the two of them were going through the pile of coins.
"Hey there's a lot of cash here!" He said happily scooping up handfuls. Not all of it was Japanese. They had made it a game to try and identify the countries that the coins came from.
"Hey money!" Usagi yelled as she dashed over and started filling her pockets.
The rest of the Senshi joined in. They didn't normally get paid for doing their jobs after all. Ranma even took his shirt off much to the enjoyment of all the females present and used it to carry more of the coins.
Eventually they all made it back to the shrine however it was slow going as they were all laden down with lots of metal.
And now for something completely different.
In another district a girl with a helmet style haircut who also loved money was currently in her room working. Of course she wasn't doing homework. Her bed was strewn with various different papers, notes, and photos. Most were of a boy with blond hair and a pigtail, but there were a few of a tall blond girl and a large mansion style house. She grumbled as she kicked herself again for not grabbing Ranma when she had the chance.
"Ok so he's gone blond." She commented to herself "Suits him though much better than black or red."
As soon as Nodoka had left with Ranma, she had gotten to work tracking him down. Finding where he lived was fairly easy as all she had to do was look in a phonebook. The stalking... sorry information gathering was quite a different story however. Ranma seemed to have an uncanny ability to know when he was being watched; she guessed it was a result of the number of ambushes that he got in Nerima. She had only gotten a couple of good pictures of him in the day that she was wandering around Juuban. She also managed to catch a couple of pictures of this Makoto girl. She looked at them mentally comparing herself to this girl.
Makoto was tall for a girl while Nabiki was about average to just a bit above average. Looking further Makoto looked to be in great shape but not in too good shape as to ruin her dangerous curves. Well in that respect Nabiki was a contender as she stayed in shape to keep herself from becoming fat but not to put on too much muscle like her little sister.
From the information that she'd bought from that Umino fellow Makoto was supposed to be a good martial artist, not that she'd be anywhere near Nerima standards of course but still better than she herself could do. The most damning thing that she learned was that Makoto was some master chef somewhere around Kasumi's level of skill.
She dropped her head face first into her mattress. Ranma had two girls after him already that were way better people than her, and without the pledge between the families there was just a bit better than zero chance that she would be able to squeeze herself into his heart. Add to that all of the mean things that she's done to him and that small percent chance dropped to well below zero. Kasumi now she had a chance, it wasn't very good but it was better than she had.
Who was she kidding with Shampoo and Makoto there was no way in hell she'd even stand a chance a normal girl like her.
There was a knock at the door and she had to scramble to stuff all the papers and photos she had under her pillow just incase it was Mr. Saotome or her father. They might get the wrong idea. Or the right one.
When she was sure that all the evidence was hidden she called out.
"Come in!"
The door opened and Kasumi stepped in. She was wearing an old orange housedress with a white apron overtop. Her hair was in a loose ponytail and she had her house slippers on. All in all she looked like she always did but Nabiki was her sister and could immediately tell something was wrong.
"What is it sis?" She asked with some concern.
"It's nothing really. I just came up to tell you that supper will be ready soon." She put on a smile so fake that even Ranma would have noticed that something was wrong. (He would have assumed she was constipated but he would have noticed.)
"Bullshit sis something's bothering you now spill it." She said patting a space on her bed.
Kasumi sat down and stared at the floor for a while before speaking.
"I'm lonely." She said.
"To the point are we? I'm assuming that this has to do with Ranma?"
Kasumi looked at her with a shocked expression on her face. "How did...?" She looked back down at the floor again. "Never mind, that's it exactly." She let out a humorless chuckle. "You know I always thought that Ranma and Akane loved each other, that's why I never interfered when they fought but..." She paused to listen to the destruction coming from the dojo. "It seems Akane is actually happy that he's gone! She's been nothing but smiles since he left!" She almost broke down here. "If I'd only known I'd have taken him and there wouldn't have been a damn thing she could do about it!" A few tears leaked out.
Nabiki had her in a hug faster than you can say 'Oh my'
"Yeah I know. We'd have fought over him though and I know who the better woman would have been." She left out just who that would have been. She then looked at her sister with a serious look on her face. "I guess we could visit him though." She said with an impish smile on her face.
"Wha?" Kasumi said while whipping her head around to look her sister in the eyes.
In response Nabiki only smiled and reached under her pillow and pulled out all of her research. She spread it over the bed to allow Kasumi to look at it. Her eyes widened as she saw exactly what her sister had.
"Oh my!"
"Exactly we may not be in the running anymore but maybe..." She left the statement unfinished implying that maybe they could get back in the running.
Kasumi saw something in the pile that peaked her interest. She darted her hand out and snatched the picture out of the pile before Nabiki could stop her.
"Oh... Oh wow I didn't know you had this!" Kasumi was blushing as she looked at the photo.
It was one of the older photos of Ranma from a while back. It was hot that night and unbeknownst to his father Ranma had decided to go to bed au natural. In the morning he had tossed his son out the window to spar with him. In his sleep addled mind Ranma had forgotten that he was buck naked until Akane had clobbered him for being a 'pervert'. She never knew that Nabiki had been able to snap a picture.
"I want a copy of this." Kasumi stated flatly indicating that this was not a request but a statement of fact.
"Uhh sure, it'll take me a bit to make a copy of it though." In truth she already had 10 copies made up. They were not for sale though.
Suddenly the door swung open. Kasumi quickly hid the picture of Ranma in her apron while Nabiki was scrambling to clean up the papers off her bed. She had cleaned up most of them when Genma walked into the room. Nabiki scowled at Genma's audacity to just walk into HER room without knocking.
"Uhh Kasumi your food was burning so I turned it off." He said looking around the room like he was casing the place to clean it out. "I also overheard Akane say that she wanted to help in the kitchen."
"Oh my god I've got to save supper!" Kasumi said as she dashed out of the room and down the stairs. Some of the papers and photos on the bed were sucked off the bed in her wake. They landed on the floor and were quickly gathered up by Nabiki.
Genma just turned around and walked out of the room. Nabiki was looking at his back and never saw him smile as he held onto a piece of paper that he had swiped from right under her nose. His disobedient son needed to be brought in line soon before his mother corrupted him. If he didn't his and Tendo's dream of uniting the schools would be gone forever. He needed to be told that his proper fiancée was a Tendo not some gaigin slut or some girl that his mother picked out. Come on women don't know what kind of woman would be right for him. Sure Akane couldn't cook, fight, sew, or do pretty much any of the female arts, that and the fact that she seemed to actively dislike him just meant that they were perfect for each other.
He would have to go on a little trip to Juuban tomorrow.
Remember intelligence is not his strong point.
And now back to our regularly scheduled program.
The outers and the cats were already waiting at the shrine when the inners along with Ranma and Shampoo came trudging up the stairs. All of them had bulges all over their bodies and Ranma had something heavy in his shirt which was slung over his left shoulder. Luna and Artemis hid since they still weren't sure about Ranma or this Shampoo person that was with them.
"So what's up?" Haruka called out.
"Attacked... Monster... Money." Huffed Usagi. She was designed for speed to be able to run to school on time, she didn't have the strength or stamina to carry heavy weights for any length of time.
"So you were attacked by a monster made of money and now you've got lots of loot. Damn it why don't we ever get monsters like that!" Said Hotaru.
"Hotaru don't swear." Mirichu said in a slightly reprimanding voice.
"Then raise my allowance." She deadpanned.
"No."
"Fuck."
"Where are you getting it from?"
"Luna says it all the time." She said with a shrug.
"I think my violin bow needs some new strings." She said with a scowl marring her face. "Oh Luna we need to talk about something." She said in a sweet voice as she took off to try and find Luna.
"Don't hurt her too much Diana still needs to be born." Chibi Usa called out.
"I'm going inside." Rei said as she trudged towards the shrine doors.
"Yeah sure." Makoto said and moved to follow.
The rest of the scouts moved to follow Rei into the shrine. Eventually Usagi was the only one left outside. This was because when she stopped she lost her momentum and she was too tired to start up again.
"Medic." She whimpered before she fell over.
Inside the shrine Rei went to her room to drop off her load. Everybody else that was carrying money dropped to the floor and started unloading their stashes. A few minutes later Mirichu came in dragging a semi conscious Usagi who was leaving a trail of coins in her wake. Chibi Usa was following behind picking up the coins that her future mother was dropping. When she got back to the future these would be over a thousand years old and worth a fortune for collectors.
Artemis padded in behind Chibi Usa and was looking around at the people gathered there. Minako had told him about Ranma and Shampoo but he had never met them since the last time they were here they were busy trying to kill Makoto. He noticed the only male in the room and assumed that he was this Ranma fellow. He also remembered that he was a werecat too. Maybe he could talk Minako into ungrounding him, a voice from the male species and all that.
"Us guys gotta stick together after all."
Artemis walked over to where Ranma was sitting. Ranma had his head down sorting through his large pile of coins.
"Hey there. Ranma is it? Hi I'm Artemis." He said while holding out his paw in a friendly gesture expecting him to reach out and shake it.
Of course the best laid plans often do not survive contact with reality. Ranma looked up to see where the voice had come from and he came face to fuzzy face with his worst nightmare.
"C...c....c...CAT!" Ranma screamed as he jumped up and dashed over to the wall.
"Uhh yeah last time I checked why." He looked behind him to check to see if his tail was still there.
Makoto and Shampoo's heads both snapped up when they heard Ranma scream. Shampoo quickly ran over to where Ranma was cowering in the corner and dragged him outside. When Ranma was safely outside Artemis finally got the nerve to speak up again.
"Is it just me or was that extremely weird."
Everybody turned towards Makoto for an explanation.
"Umm... well.... you see." She stuttered.
The door opened and a shirtless werecheetah stepped through with Shampoo at his side.
"When I was six my stupid pop got it in hisss head to teach me the neko ken. You dig a deep pit and toss some cats in. Let them starrrve for a few days to get them good and mean. Tie the trrrrainee in fish and toss them in the pit." He paused to let this sink in. "I was six at the time and he had to thrrrow me in five times before I snapped." He sat down again in front of his pile. He looked at where Artemis was sitting. "Whenever a cat is nearrr me I frrreak out like you saw earrrlier."
"But you're not scared of me now. Why's that?" Artemis asked.
"Well turrrns out that when I'm in my hybrrid forrrm I'm not afrrraid of felines." He reached over and started petting Artemis. "Although the rrrolling of my rrr's is annoying."
Ranma was getting slightly uncomfortable with their line of questioning and decided to change the subject. Figuring that Shampoo would forgive him he decided to pick on her.
"Hey Shampoo what was up with that Sailorrr scout thing?" He called over.
"Shampoo no know what you talking about." She had of course blocked the entire horrible experience from her mind.
"Sailor scout?" Asked Haruka as she looked over towards the purple haired girl.
"Yeah it was really cool too. She had on a small leather bikini and called herself Amalthea, but her magic wasn't working right but then she made all these coins and I can go get ice cream now and hey wait I'm missing coins!" Usagi said in one breath run on sentences be damned.
"Umm so you're Sailor Amalthea? It's not any planet that I know of." Rei said as she tried to forget the tight uniform that hid nothing. She got a slight nosebleed just from thinking of it.
"Actually it's not a planet, it's a moon of Jupiter. Well calling it a moon would be pushing it, It's actually just a large chunk of rock in a semi erratic orbit around Jupiter." Ami the brain strikes again.
"Could you transform, I wanna see it." Said Hotaru mirroring her parents thoughts.
"Shampoo no want to!"
"Come on Shampoo if your magics broken maybe the transformation is too?" Makoto offered.
"Fine but Shampoo still hurt horny old womans." She said as she pulled out her henshin rod.
"Amalthea moon power make up!"
It wasn't the same transformation sequence as before. This time her clothes exploded (literally) off her body, little scraps of cloth fluttering all over the room. The magic kicked in sounding this time like a turbine winding up. When everything was done the costume wasn't the same as before.
Playboy bunny girl.
Shampoo quickly dropped the transformation and tried again.
Cat girl.
Again.
Can Can girl.
Again
Dominatrix outfit.
"Shampoo think she stop while she ahead."
"Uhh yeah I guess so." Haruka said while staring.
She received a smack upside the head from her partner for her lecherous ways.
When she dropped the transformation for the last time her clothes did not reform. Ergo she was left standing buck naked in the middle of the floor. She tried covering herself but not before they saw that she was naturally purple. Makoto already knew this as she had to pull some purple hair from her teeth this morning.
"Come on we'll get you something to wear." Rei said as she led Shampoo away hoping that they wouldn't run into her grandpa on the way back to her room.
The room fell into an uncomfortable silence as nobody really commenting on it but all of them wanting too. Eventually Shampoo and Rei came back with Shampoo wearing one of Rei's shrine maiden outfits. On Rei it was a bit baggy but on Shampoo it was a little tight.
"So you interested in sparring sometime?" Haruka asked Ranma trying to break the silence.
"Umm no."
This was apparently the wrong answer.
"What I'm not good enough!" She shouted.
"Uhh no." He said as he fidgeted slightly under her gaze.
"Actually Ranma I'd like to see that fight." Makoto noted absently.
"Not you too?" He said a little betrayed that she would sell him out so easily.
"Oh don't worry you won't break Sailor Uranus that easily." She said aloud. In her mind however she was making a list of things that she would need to capture the moment of Haruka getting her ass royally thrashed.
"Alright outside right now!" She said as she grabbed her henshin rod from subspace.
"Uhh ok I uhh guess." He said as he stood up. Haruka was taken aback as he towered over her by a good foot and a bit.
She gulped down her fear and reminded herself that this was just a friendly sparring match. She looked back at Mirichu and Hotaru. Mirichu had a small flag that had the symbol of Uranus on it and Hotaru had a big novelty foam hand with a #1 on it. She felt confidence that her family was behind her. She turned towards the door, raised her henshin rod in the air and called out her transformation phrase. A few seconds later Sailor Uranus was ready to rock and roll.
"Let do it." She said as she jumped out the door into the back yard of the shrine.
Ranma followed at a slower pace as his pants were constricting even though Shampoo had cut down the sides so that they wouldn't tear when he changed. They were still tight though.
"Hold up a second." He said as he undid his pants and stepped out of them. He was clad in fur and boxer shorts. Many of the girls there started to feel a little... flushed. Not all of them were human either.
Of course since Haruka was a 100% rug muncher that much male flesh/fur didn't affect her at all.
"Much better." He stretched his muscles rippling under his skin. "Ready." He said as he fell into a defensive stance.
Haruka took him up on his offer and assumed an offensive stance based on mobility and speed. Makoto walked up between the two of them and raised her hand in the air.
"Alright this is just a friendly sparring match the rules are as follows. One, there are to be NO killing or maiming blows. Two there will be no energy attacks magical or otherwise." She looked directly at Uranus when she said this. "Three this is strictly martial arts no real weapons." She waited till this sunk in. "All right Let's get it on." She said as she dropped her arm and jumped out of the way.
Haruka rushed in quickly feinting to the left then lashing out with a vicious roundhouse... which was caught in his right hand. Of course his feet slid back from the force of the kick. He compensated and stopped his slide. Tightening his hold on her ankle he tossed her towards the boundary wall.
She screamed and impacted the wall with her back. She bounced off and fell to her knees. There was a spiderweb of cracks on the wall where she hit. She shook her head and got to her feet, if a little shaky.
"Hey you're fixing that!" Rei yelled.
When Haruka had gotten her balance back she charged back in but she was more cautious this time. When she was in striking range she noted that Ranma was still in a defensive stance even though with his longer reach he could strike and she wouldn't be able to touch him. Well if he was going to patronize her she'd show him the error of his ways.
When she got well within striking range she feinted with a straight punch which Ranma deflected easily. The punch was only a feighnt for her real attack which was a quick jab with her left knee to his groin.
Ranma's eyes widened as he realized he fell for her dirty trick. It was one his pop used quite often when Ranma had hit puberty. He quickly shot his right hand down to try and deflect her knee.
He was so close.
Of course close only counts in horseshoes and handgernades.
It wasn't a full sack but it was enough to break his defense for half a second. Half a second was all she needed to throw a massive uppercut right at his jaw. He was tossed back several yards where he landed on his back. He rolled with the blow coming back up to his feet.
"Alright playtimes over!" He roared.
Quicker than she could blink he was in her face punching and kicking. It was all she could do to protect her face. Sooner than she would have thought it ended. She was sore all over. The last time she felt this bad was that time that one of those generic monsters threw her through that reinforced brick wall. Their outfits could soak up a schwack of damage. She wondered what the Sailor Mercury was thinking when she made the lycanthropic races. If she didn't build in the magic/silver weakness they'd be damn near unstoppable.
Of course philosophy of a head injury is the second best kind of philosophy.
Ranma was just standing there clutching himself when an ofuda streaked out of nowhere and stuck to Ranma's forehead.
"What the hell?" He said as he reached up and pulled it off his head.
"So monster you're strong enough to withstand my ward!" Grandpa Hino shouted. He put his hands in his sleeves. "Then try this on for size. Shinto supreme ward storm!" He shouted.
Hundreds of wards shot forth from his sleeves. The wards started circling Ranma at a furious pace. he tried swiping them out of the air. For every ward he tore in half three took it's place. Slowly the wards started converging, some of them jumping out of the swarm and clinging to his body. During this time Haruka used the distraction to slip away. When the swarm had almost completely obscured Ranma from view grandpa Hino violently brought his hands together. The swarm suddenly shot towards where Ranma was standing. Within the blink of an eye he was covered head to toe in wards. He struggled a bit but the charged wards held fast.
"Ha take that you demonic werecreature!" Grandpa crowed.
Suddenly he felt a tap on the top of his head. He looked up into the scowling faces of Makoto and Shampoo.
"What can this humble priest do for you two young and lovely ladies today?" He smiled as he stared at their breasts. Rei sure had some cute friends.
Of course unlike Happosai grandpa Hino knew his chances against these girls.
"Let him go." Makoto said simply.
"But he's a were creature! He must be destroyed! The movies all say so!"
Makoto looked at him with her big innocent eyes.
"You've known me for a few years now am I evil?"
"No you're not evil." He pulled out a little wooden box that he showed to them. "This is the shrine's evil detector." On the box were two words good and evil and there was a needle. Currently the box was pointing at Shampoo and the needle was wavering on good.
He was staring down at the box and moved it over to where Makoto was standing. The needle moved a bit farther over to good.
"See even the box says you'..." He looked up to where he thought Makoto's face would be. He had to look up a foot and a bit more and around two large bumps in her dress. His eyes widened as he saw the ears, eyes, tail and most important the FUR that now covered her.
"Ma... Makoto how, when, why, WHO?" He stuttered.
"Well starting off from the beginning, how do you think, Since I was born, because the universe thought it would be funny, and this is Shampoo of the Joketzu amazons and the guy you just wrapped up is our shared husband/boyfriend who I would appreciate you letting go before Shampoo here snaps."
Shampoo pulled out her favorite silvered Tai Chi sword. She had managed to sneak it out of the weapons cabinet this morning when Mrs. Saotome and her great grandmother were suffering from their hangovers. She held it out to her side blade out. She tensed all of her muscles and started shaking a little bit.
"Better hurry she's getting mad now." Makoto said nonchalantly while extending and retracting her claws.
Grandpa Hino was transfixed by the sight of Shampoo jiggling... I mean shaking with rage. He quickly reached into his robes and pulled out a blue diamond shaped pill and popped it in his mouth. Shampoo had started to shake harder, Her dress started to rip in places where she was flexing her muscles.
"I'd hurry or she's going to go hulk on your ass grandpa." Makoto said leaving her claws out.
The wards dropped to the ground like leaves from a tree.
Mr. Hino scampered behind Rei and hid behind her.
"Rei you'll protect your old grandpa won't you?"
"Forget it gramps."
"S'all right." Ranma called out from where he was standing. "I'm fine no need to quarterrr the old guy."
"Airen!" Shampoo said as she bounced over and molded herself to his side.
As Shampoo was purring against Ranma's side another semi feline was prowling between his legs. Luna had watched Ranma as he fought Haruka. Unknown to the girls, and to Ranma himself, when he transformed he let off tons of male pheromones. When he changed into a girl it was female pheromones. It was the same for Makoto. Good thing it only worked on cats or they'd be in trouble.
Luna stopped about a foot away from where Ranma was standing. Her front legs were compressed, her back arched, and her hind legs were ramrod straight. Her tail was standing proud like a flagpole in the air.
"Luna you slut!" This from the peanut gallery.
That snapped Luna out of her hormone induced haze. Well at least a little. She quickly scampered away from Ranma and hid behind Usagi.
Makoto just couldn't resist ribbing Luna a bit.
"Oh come on Luna why would he be satisfied with such a small kitty like you..."
She struck an extremely sexy pose with her right hand behind her head, her chest stuck out as far as it would go the material on her shirt giving protest the built in splits threatened to burst wide open if she took a deep breath, Her left arm was cocked back to her side like when she was transforming, finally her legs were splayed apart pulling her skirt tight against her bottom. Grandpa Hino, Ranma, Mirichu, Haruka who was hiding in the surrounding trees, Hotaru, Shampoo, and Rei all developed simultaneous nosebleeds.
"when he can have a big Pussy... cat like me."
"I'd like a big pussy cat like you." Artemis said as he rubbed himself against her legs.
"Ack!" Makoto said as she jumped away from the perverted cat. She shifted back to her human form hoping that would provide some protection.
Turning to Ranma and Makoto grandpa Hino spoke "Well as long as you're not doing anything evil there's no reason for me to be here" He turned to go. "I'll just let you go back to your secret sailor scout meeting now." Mr. Hino said as he shuffled off. Knowing that the werecats weren't here to cause evil there was nothing left for him to do.
Now off to ogle the young girls that had just walked up the shrine steps.
"Damn it does everybody know we're the Sailor Scouts!" Usagi shouted.
"Well just my mom, Cologne, Walterrr and Shampoo." - Ranma
"Grandpa knows because he caught me transforming once." - Rei
"Well my parents don't know." This from Minako.
"Ahh well you see, your mom kinda stepped on my tail once and well you know." Said Artemis as he moved behind Makoto hoping she'll protect him.
"Artemis I can't believe you! Weren't you always telling me the importance of keeping our identities secret from everyone!"
"Yeah but she gave me cream, I mean real cream with vodka."
"Never could hold his liquor." Luna commented from behind Usagi.
"So mom got you all shit faced and you go and blab everything!" Minako was seriously thinking about a cat fur hat.
"Pretty much." He said.
"Get back here you!" Minako yelled as she charged where Artemis was hiding.
"Makoto my love kitty protect me!"
"Sorry Romeo, this kitty cat already has two studs to keep her happy." Makoto said as she walked away leaving a stunned Artemis behind.
"Two?"
Unfortunately he never got to finish that thought as Minako tackled him so that he couldn't get away.
"Well at least my cat isn't a blabbermouth." Usagi said proudly crossing her arms underneath her breasts and lifting her nose in the air in a haughty manor.
"Umm well..." Luna started.
Usagi whipped around glaring at Luna.
"What! You told her!" Usagi shouted.
"You talk in your sleep!" Luna countered avoiding the fact that she also talked in her sleep. "You also toss around and snore like a buzzsaw."
"I..." She was left speechless.
"Besides only your mother knows. She's very proud of her daughter."
"Mom... mom's proud of me?" She replied stunned.
"Yes; knowing her daughter is going to be ruler of the world is a lot better than what she thought you were going to do."
Usagi was brought out of her reverie. She looked down at Luna.
"Yeah she thought that you'd be a good paperweight or if you were really ambitious a top quality doorstop." Luna said with pride.
"Wahhh, my mother doesn't believe in my abilities!" Usagi wailed.
The rest of the meeting was spent with Usagi and Ranma eating, Usagi trying to steal Rei's manga, and the cat's getting reamed out by their owners. Typical meeting. Not surprising enough Setsuna never showed up. Almost like she could see into the future or something.
The scene pulls out and shifts.
In a dark cavern that hasn't seen the light of day for millennia a shadowy figure sits on a throne. Faceless minions mill about chanting something in an evil sounding language.
The woman on the throne smiles as she takes a sip of her wine.
Authors notes:
Yet another chapter done. For some reason I'm able to write 25+ pages for this story but struggle with 20 for Cat's Tale. Weird. I have finally introduced the broken sailor scouts. I've got a couple more in mind. I seem to have lost my prereader. If anybody's interested in the job contact me at
nealharris@otakumail.com
PS: Thanks to all that have sent me feedback in one form or another. I really appreciate it.
Chapter 5:
The next morning was cloudy. The thick dark clouds hung heavy in the air threatening to rain on any unlucky schmuck who stepped out of their protective shelters without their umbrellas.
It was to this dark and dreary day that Ranma greeted the morning. He was in his bed in his room. The curtains were wide open as he didn't have time to close them last night. As he sat up his muscles protested the movement. He felt totally drained from last nights activities.
Looking around it was easy to see why he was so tired. Part of his shirt was laying across his dresser and the other half was over his stereo. A quick glance confirmed that he could not find his underwear anywhere in visual range. The sheets were in major disarray and looked like they had fifty linebackers run over them with their cleats still on. He really should think of a better way to do this so that their claws wouldn't do so much damage. The floor was strewn with used condoms and condom packages. His mother would be thrilled with the sheer number of them littering his floor.
Rolling out of bed despite the protests of his muscles he started cleaning up the mess around his bed. Making sure to cover the condoms etc with the remains of his clothes, He then tied the bag shut and hid it in his room. Taking out the incriminating evidence later tonight and hiding it with the burnable trash. He he he perfect crime.
Little did he know that the neighbors called animal control last night complaining about the noisy cats. That and when the girls went downstairs this morning they were immediately jumped on by Mrs. Saotome and made to spill their guts on everything that happened last night.
The doomed never know they're doomed until it's too late.
Once he'd cleaned up the evidence, or at least as much of it as he could, he inch wormed over to his dresser. Reaching up he pulled his boxer shorts out of the drawer. It took some feats of acrobatics to put on his gitch but he eventually got it on. The crawl from the drawer to the door took 3 minutes. Opening the door took 5.
In the hallway he met Walter who was also crawling his way to the washroom to get cleaned up and hopefully get some of his energy back. Walter was in his hybrid form and he was barely crawling along.
"Aaaaah cat." He said without any enthusiasm.
He then dropped his head to the floor so that he couldn't see Walter. He transformed to his hybrid state his tail popping out of the back of his boxers. He felt a bit of his strength return. It wasn't enough to stand but it was enough to grab Walter and drag him along.
The furo was downstairs in the back. Luckily the house had a second set of stairs so that bathers didn't have to go through the main foyer in a towel or bathrobe.
Gravity is a wonderful thing when encountering stairs.
When they reached the door Ranma opened it and pulled both himself and Walter inside. Once inside he slid the door closed. Like himself Walter was wearing only his underwear. Unlike him Walter was wearing tighty whities.
He had been in the furo before but he had never appreciated the design of it until now.
The furo area was quite large easily three times the size of the Tendo's. It had four wash stations complete with shower heads for rinsing. Instead of tile the floor was either marble or granite that was pitted with bumps and grooves so that it was non slip. On the walls were painted a multitude of cat species in various poses. He made a mental note to never come in here in his human form. The actual furo itself was like a small pool rather than the normal rectangles that most people had. The great thing about it was that it was sunken into the floor like a pool.
He felt somebody pat him on the shoulder. Looking back he saw Walter's hand on his shoulder his thankful face looking back at him.
"You're a good boy you know that?" He said in an extremely tired voice.
"Yeah well it's not overrrr yet. Come on this will make both of us feel betterrrr." Ranma said as he pulled off his boxers. He looked back at Walter.
"Just go I'll have to clean it out anyway."
He then dragged both of them over the side and into the water. He had to pull Walter above the surface so that he wouldn't drown. He sat Walter on the bottom of the pool and then sat beside him to make sure that he didn't slip down.
They sat like that for a while neither one speaking but both of them getting their energy back, their muscles unknotting and relaxing in the hot water of the bath. Ranma briefly considered getting some shampoo or something but it was over at the wash area and that would mean getting out of the nice comfy water. Oh well so he'd smell for a bit no biggie.
"Hard night." Walter said offhand.
"Yeah. You?" He replied.
"Hard week. I don't get paid enough for this."
Walter was tired he must not know what he's saying. Thought Ranma as he scooted away a bit.
"Maybe you should ask for a rrrrraise?" He offered.
"I feel like a whore." Walter said as he slipped beneath the water.
Ranma hauled him up before he drowned.
"Yeah well therrre was Shampoo and Makoto last night."
"Did you satisfy them both?" Walter asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.
"I think so. They both seemed happy afterrrward so I guess so. It's just I've never been this tirrred beforrre!"
"You gave it your all. That's all you can do. Did you remember to use the condoms I left out for you?"
"Yeah we rrrememberrred each time." He put a goofy smile on his face. "It was umm interrresting when we had to change forrr the next rrround."
"I imagine the old flag pole got quite a bit of polish last night then."
If Ranma had never hung out with Hiroshe or Daisuke he would never have known what that obscure comment meant.
Lucky him.
"You're going to be late for school if you don't hurry." Walter said sensing that Ranma was still uncomfortable with the subject.
Ranma eeped and jumped out of the water creating a miniature water spout spilling a lot on the floor. He shook himself dry like a cat sending water flying in every direction. He jumped into his boxer shorts and ran out of the room.
As soon as he left Walter slipped under the water a small patch of bubbles on the surface was the only indication of his being there.
In his room Ranma quickly shifted back to his human form grabbed a towel from his closet and quickly dried off. He put on his uniform and ran out of his room. What little strength that he'd gotten back from his little soak was running out quickly.
When he got to the dining room Shampoo and Makoto were waiting for him along with his mother. Makoto and his mother were in their human form much to his relief. On the table was a huge assortment of various foods.
"Come on Ranma eat up you don't want to be late for school do you?" His mother said while pulling out his chair.
He quickly sat down and proceeded to shovel down as much food as he could.
This was how Pavlov started folks.
Both Shampoo and Makoto were framing Ranma on either side. They were alternating between feeding him and eating themselves. Both had permanent grins etched on their faces. When a little over half of the food was gone they noticed Cologne's staff moving along the side of the table. Shampoo and Makoto followed the staff until it stopped by Cologne's chair and stopped.
When Cologne finally jumped up onto her chair the reaction was unanimous.
"Monster!"
"Gargoyle!"
"Mmmf!"
"Elder you really need to learn when to stop drinking." This came from Nodoka who herself didn't look in top form.
Cologne of course didn't look anything like the old shrunken mummy that she normally looked like. Her normally white hair was dyed red, green and blue. Red on the left, green down the center and blue down the right. Her ears which had never been pierced before now had hoops in them. The same with her left nostril. There also appeared to be a chain running from the nostril ring to one of her earrings. Her right eyebrow had a metal dog bone piercing through it.
Moving on to her clothes next. She was wearing a white Sailor Moon baby doll tee with a neon pacifier tied around her neck with what looked like a spent glow string.
Nobody dared look farther down.
For those brave souls that dared to look at her eyes they couldn't look very long or their souls would be pulled from their bodies and hurled into some deep dark abyss.
"If you say one word... Just one single word I will kill you slowly."
Even though Ranma wasn't finished eating he felt that Walter would need some food so he quietly got up grabbed Shampoo and Makoto and ran for the door. Nodoka sat there calmly sipping her acetosalicylic tea for a few more moments.
"You know you really shouldn't have tried to pick up that guy he was young enough to be your great great great grandson." Commented Nodoka.
"Look at yourself trying to pickup that kid. What was he eighteen? Nineteen?" Cologne shot back. "That and the fact you're a MARRIED woman with a child of your own."
"Well soon to be widow."
"That's beside the point and you know it."
They sat in silence for a few minutes.
"I still say he wasn't drunk enough." Cologne said in a huff as she crossed her arms across her chest.
"You overestimate the delusional power of alcohol."
Shampoo, Ranma and Makoto were walking to school and for once Shampoo wasn't complaining about school or destroying property. The ordering was Ranma in the middle with Shampoo to his left and Makoto to his right.
Suddenly a monster appeared in front of them blocking their path.
The monster was a generic red skinned monster with spikes all over his body. He had a vaguely human shaped head. The weird thing was that this monster like the rest was male instead of the female monsters that the sailor scouts have fought in the past.
"Foolish humans your heart sparkles will soon belong to the master!"
Both Shampoo and Makoto looked at Ranma in expectation. He looked at each of them in turn.
"You've got to be kidding me after all the work I did last night?"
They turned the doe eyes on him.
"Alright fine." He said as they disengaged and he stepped forward.
"Ha ha foolish human so you want to be the first to die a horrible, gruesome and very painful oh so painful death!" The monster yelled as it extended its claws, spikes, and tentacles.
"You know I'm really really tired..." Ranma started as he checked to make sure there was nobody around before shifting to his hybrid form. The uniform developed several large tears in it. He winced as he realized that he had ruined another uniform and that his mother was so going to kill him. "so I'm going to make yourrr death as quick as I can because I'm kinda late for school." He said in a tired voice before extending his ki claws.
"Mommy." The monster whimpered.
Soon the trio was back on their way to school. Ranma had changed back to his human form but his uniform was a lost cause. It was a good thing that he had one of his maoist uniforms in his locker at school. It wasn't the best thing to wear but it beat going around naked the rest of the day no matter how much the girls might like it. He wondered if he could get Makoto or Shampoo to alter a few of his uniforms and a couple of his normal shirts and pants with the velcro tear zones like Makoto had on her uniform before it was destroyed. He knew his mom had money but destroying an entire set of clothes when he changed was just a stupid waste of money.
As they neared the school Ranma saw that he still had some time before class started. He pulled his arms from Shampoo and Makoto's grasps.
"I've got to change I'll see you in class." He said as he jumped the wall and took off for the guys changing room.
Makoto looked over at Shampoo who looked back at her.
"Well then I guess we should get to class then."
"Shampoo agree. Shampoo too too happy to kill school today." She said as she started walking towards the entrance.
"You know Shampoo that's something I'd like to see someday." Makoto commented falling in step with her.
"Makoto want help?" Shampoo said as she raised her eyebrow.
It was all she could do not to gulp. Before last night Makoto would have sworn up and down that she was straight as a rail when it came to her sexuality. Last night changed all that though and she was quite scarred about where that would lead. Last night she remembered a small tryst with Venus and Mercury back in the Moon Kingdom. Apparently that bit of AC/DC behavior had carried over to this lifetime as well.
Shampoo had of course insisted that she get to know her co-wife better since they would be working so close together. She was reluctant at first but eventually gave in. That girl could be so convincing at times with that broken Japanese of hers. Then there was Ranma because they didn't want to leave him out. Well Ranma was pretty simple he was the only heterosexual lesbian that she knew of. It was her reaction that had startled herself this badly. She had not only enjoyed it but with her memories she was able to show the amorous Shampoo a thing or two.
Everybody on the team knew of Rei's affection for the princess and that they covered it up by fighting all the time. She smiled as she thought of the havoc it would cause if she let this little bit of info out. She knew Haruka and Mirichu would be thrilled with some more playmates for their bedtime romps. She then remembered what Setsuna had said last night about them asking for permission to bed Ranma. She frowned at that thought. After last night she had no desire to share him any more than she had to.
On second thought maybe dropping the clues that they were all a lot closer back in the day would be a bad idea.
She looked back at Shampoo.
"Well if it gets damaged by a monster fight with the sailor scouts there's nothing we can do about it can we?" She smiled.
"Accidents do happen." Shampoo smiled back.
They had gotten into their class earlier than expected. For once in their lives Usagi and Minako were early. Once Makoto and Shampoo had taken their seats they were immediately swarmed by Usagi, Minako and Ami. Minako was the first to speak.
"So tell us how was it?" She asked.
"How was what?" Makoto tried bluffing.
"Having sex with Ranma of course." She replied.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Makoto said turning away from them.
"Don't give us that Mako-chan. Both you and Shampoo have those 'I just got laid' happy smiles on, the same as my parents get whenever they get it on so spill." Usagi said with a shudder. It always gave her the creeps when she knew her parents were going at it. She knew that they had to do it for her to be born but they were her parents and it was just wrong.
"My love life is none of your concern." Makoto retorted crossing her arms over her chest.
"What you three did last night has nothing to do with love, now spill." This from the closet voyeur Ami.
"Not telling." Makoto replied sticking her nose in the air.
The three girls rounded on Shampoo next. They were a little less comfortable around her but since Makoto wasn't talking.
"So Shampoo how was Ranma?" Minako asked in a very sweet voice.
Shampoo put her finger to her chin and thought for a moment.
"Him much better than Shampoo ever dream of in too too naughty dreams!" She exclaimed happily. "Cat tongue is rough and..." She stopped there and let them use their perverted minds to fill in the missing information.
"Don't I know it." Said both Usagi and Minako at the same time.
Ami edged just a bit farther away from her weird friends.
Usagi was thinking of how Luna would sometimes lick her face in the morning to get her to wake up.
Minako was thinking exactly what Shampoo was implying.
Artemis suddenly got the strangest feeling that there was a dagger right above his head just waiting to fall. He shrugged it off and went back to his singing. Right now he had a couple of strays outside. Maybe Mrs. Aino would get the message and let him out.
Back at school Ami was going to ask another question but was cut off by the teacher coming into the room. The males in the class gasped and then started drooling. The females except for five of them were glaring daggers at the substitute teacher.
Instead of Ms. Haruna it was Setsuna in a tight business suit; that even though very conservative showed off her curves to a degree that one would have to be blind not to realize that this was a woman. She walked up the front of the class and wrote her name on the board.
"Good morning class. Most of you know me as the schools counselor, but for the next few days I will be your homeroom teacher." She beamed a huge smile over the class. Several guys developed nosebleeds.
Ranma was just getting to class. He had a small accident in the change room that stuck him as a girl for a bit. He really hated the contractors in Juuban. They could fix damage just as fast as the ones in Nerima but their quality of work was severely lacking.
He carefully opened the back door as far as he could without making a sound and started to creep into the class. Just as he was about to take his seat a voice called out from the front of the class.
"Mr. Saotome if you would please tell the class why you are late and not in uniform, I'm sure they'd be happy to hear it." Setsuna said in a stern and commanding voice.
Ranma winced as he heard her speak.
"Umm I'd rather not." He said back.
"Well then I guess you wouldn't mind standing in the hallway then." She said as she gave him a late sign and a no uniform sign that she just happened to be holding. "The buckets are in the closet."
"Alright teacherrr." He purred just to freak her out a bit. She never even flinched.
And so here he was standing in the hallway holding two buckets with two signs hanging off his neck.
'Setsuna sure was happy this morning.' He thought. 'It must have something to do with how tired Walter was.' He shuddered at the though of what she must have done to him to make him that tired.
Eventually he was let back into class and the day progressed normally. Well as normal as was normal for this area of Tokyo. There were a couple of monsters rampaging around that needed to be taken down but they weren't much of a problem. Ranma slept through a couple of classes and Shampoo joined him. That earned the both of them some more hall time.
At last the final bell rung. The students crowded around the exits, frantic to get out of school before the teachers decided to change their minds and keep them in school for a while longer. Surprisingly enough neither Shampoo nor Ranma got detention for their actions during the day. As soon as everybody was outside Makoto started follow her friends heading towards the shrine.
"Hey where are you going?" Ranma asked as he started to follow.
Makoto looked back. "We're going to Rei's shrine. We usually hang out there after school." She said.
"Uhh sure." He said remembering the last time he was at the shrine. "You sure they aren't going to try to kill us or anything?"
"No..." she paused to remember Haruka. "Well Haruka might, just watch out for her."
"The shorthaired tomboy?" Ranma said.
"Yeah but if you call her that she really will try to kill you."
"Well she i...." He was cut off by a monster yelling.
"Die humans." It said while brandishing a wicked set of claws.
"You know somebody should get these things a better scriptwriter they sound worse than, no offense Shampoo, Shampoo." Ranma commented.
"Shampoo no mind. She just wonder if stupid monsters fight better than last ones."
On the other side of the monster Usagi, Ami, and Minako had used Makoto, Ranma and Shampoo's distraction of the monster to slip into an alleyway and change. They were just hiding around the corner watching while Ami scanned the monster.
"Well I've got some good news and some bad news." She said after her scan was finished.
"What's the good news?" Usagi asked. She really didn't need to know the bad news.
"Well the good news is that our magic can hurt it."
"So what's the bad news?" Minako asked.
"Well the bad news is that it's only vulnerable to fire and none of us can do fire."
Minako immediately flipped open her communicator and brought up Rei.
"Great time for Rei to not be here." Usagi said. "Well what we can do is stall it until Rei can get her ass over here."
"I just called her and she's about 10 minutes away." Minako said.
"Looks like we've got some work to do then." Usagi said as she stepped out from the alley. "Streets are for the use of cars... cars.... oh hell I can't think of a speech now maybe later."
"Foolish humans you can't stop the great Zantar. That's with a zed by the way."
"Venus crescent beam smash!" Shouted Venus as she shot off a stream of energy at the monster. It didn't do much.
"Only magical fire can hurt it!" Mercury shouted.
"Yeah I know." She shouted back. "But we need to do something."
Shampoo, Ranma and Makoto had hung back since there was nothing that they could do. Shampoo pulled the stick that Pluto had given her and looked at it again. Makoto saw what she was holding in her hand and her eyes bugged out.
"Where in the hell did you get that?!" She yelled.
"Horny old woman give it to me, when I is in tree hiding. This one forgot all about it." She pulled off the sticky note. "Wonder if it works?" She held the stick in the air and called out.
"Amalthea moon power make up!"
The transformation sequence was traditional senshi.... if one was on acid and smoking crack at the time. Shampoo's clothes flew off her leaving her totally naked for a few seconds while her visibly naked form was posed in various different sexy ways. Then she was covered in a neon plaid colour pattern as she was bounced around, stuffed and jiggled. Finally the disguise magic started up making a sound akin to Venus' Love Me Chainsaw.
When the transformation was complete what stood before them was like no senshi that they had ever seen before. She had a tight black leather bra that was little better than skin. Moving down there was nothing else except for a pair of leather g-string panties that left nothing to the imagination either. On her feet was a pair of high heeled pumps. At her side was a leather whip.
According to Anime Laws she had the highest AC of the group.
Even though he'd seen her in much less Ranma still keeled over with a nosebleed.
"Shampoo feel indecent." She said as she tried to cover herself with her hands.
"Don't worry guys I'm ack!" Mars said as she got a look at the newest senshi... and fell on her face.
The rest of the senshi who had watched her transform were stunned to say the least. Sure their uniforms were revealing but this was just... They thanked their lucky stars that their uniforms were just revealing and not... not... well whatever Shampoo ended up with.
"Umm Amalthea so what's your magic attack?" Makoto was curious to say the least.
"Uhh Magic come forth!" She said while holding out her hands.
A stream of technicolour lights shot from her hand and hit the monster.
There was no effect except the monster suddenly had an urge for a hotdog.
"Stupid magic Shampoo kill. Magic come forth!" She yelled again.
The monster was pelted with a stream of coins.
"Ow hey stop that!" The monster yelled before taking a step towards her.
"All right this is getting stupid." Mars said before walking over to where the monster was.
She made a fist with her thumb on the inside. She then flicked her thumb into a thumbs up position and a small flame like from a cigarette lighter appeared on the end of her thumb. She put the flame under it's butt. It quickly caught fire and burned to a pile of ash in a matter of seconds.
"And so the beautiful Sailor Mars saves the day again." She deadpanned. "I'm going home."
Everybody who was currently transformed stepped into the alley and dropped the transformation.
"Umm how Shampoo go back to normal?" She asked very very eager to get out of this outfit and back to her very concealing school uniform.
"Just think about dropping the transformation." Usagi told her.
She did so but there was a problem.
Her clothing rematerialized around her body but everything was upside down. She had to hold her skirt up to keep her breasts covered, her bra (which Mrs. Saotome insisted on) was around her waist and her panties were situated on her head.
"Shampoo kill horny old womans next time see her."
"Umm I'd appreciate it if you didn't." Commented Minako. "She's kinda usefull."
"Hurt her then?" She said while fixing her uniform.
"Ok just a bit." Usagi said helping Shampoo back into her uniform and getting some feels along the way.
Oh give her a break Mamouru hasn't been around for a while.
When they emerged from the alley Makoto had successfully roused Ranma from his forced slumber and the two of them were going through the pile of coins.
"Hey there's a lot of cash here!" He said happily scooping up handfuls. Not all of it was Japanese. They had made it a game to try and identify the countries that the coins came from.
"Hey money!" Usagi yelled as she dashed over and started filling her pockets.
The rest of the Senshi joined in. They didn't normally get paid for doing their jobs after all. Ranma even took his shirt off much to the enjoyment of all the females present and used it to carry more of the coins.
Eventually they all made it back to the shrine however it was slow going as they were all laden down with lots of metal.
And now for something completely different.
In another district a girl with a helmet style haircut who also loved money was currently in her room working. Of course she wasn't doing homework. Her bed was strewn with various different papers, notes, and photos. Most were of a boy with blond hair and a pigtail, but there were a few of a tall blond girl and a large mansion style house. She grumbled as she kicked herself again for not grabbing Ranma when she had the chance.
"Ok so he's gone blond." She commented to herself "Suits him though much better than black or red."
As soon as Nodoka had left with Ranma, she had gotten to work tracking him down. Finding where he lived was fairly easy as all she had to do was look in a phonebook. The stalking... sorry information gathering was quite a different story however. Ranma seemed to have an uncanny ability to know when he was being watched; she guessed it was a result of the number of ambushes that he got in Nerima. She had only gotten a couple of good pictures of him in the day that she was wandering around Juuban. She also managed to catch a couple of pictures of this Makoto girl. She looked at them mentally comparing herself to this girl.
Makoto was tall for a girl while Nabiki was about average to just a bit above average. Looking further Makoto looked to be in great shape but not in too good shape as to ruin her dangerous curves. Well in that respect Nabiki was a contender as she stayed in shape to keep herself from becoming fat but not to put on too much muscle like her little sister.
From the information that she'd bought from that Umino fellow Makoto was supposed to be a good martial artist, not that she'd be anywhere near Nerima standards of course but still better than she herself could do. The most damning thing that she learned was that Makoto was some master chef somewhere around Kasumi's level of skill.
She dropped her head face first into her mattress. Ranma had two girls after him already that were way better people than her, and without the pledge between the families there was just a bit better than zero chance that she would be able to squeeze herself into his heart. Add to that all of the mean things that she's done to him and that small percent chance dropped to well below zero. Kasumi now she had a chance, it wasn't very good but it was better than she had.
Who was she kidding with Shampoo and Makoto there was no way in hell she'd even stand a chance a normal girl like her.
There was a knock at the door and she had to scramble to stuff all the papers and photos she had under her pillow just incase it was Mr. Saotome or her father. They might get the wrong idea. Or the right one.
When she was sure that all the evidence was hidden she called out.
"Come in!"
The door opened and Kasumi stepped in. She was wearing an old orange housedress with a white apron overtop. Her hair was in a loose ponytail and she had her house slippers on. All in all she looked like she always did but Nabiki was her sister and could immediately tell something was wrong.
"What is it sis?" She asked with some concern.
"It's nothing really. I just came up to tell you that supper will be ready soon." She put on a smile so fake that even Ranma would have noticed that something was wrong. (He would have assumed she was constipated but he would have noticed.)
"Bullshit sis something's bothering you now spill it." She said patting a space on her bed.
Kasumi sat down and stared at the floor for a while before speaking.
"I'm lonely." She said.
"To the point are we? I'm assuming that this has to do with Ranma?"
Kasumi looked at her with a shocked expression on her face. "How did...?" She looked back down at the floor again. "Never mind, that's it exactly." She let out a humorless chuckle. "You know I always thought that Ranma and Akane loved each other, that's why I never interfered when they fought but..." She paused to listen to the destruction coming from the dojo. "It seems Akane is actually happy that he's gone! She's been nothing but smiles since he left!" She almost broke down here. "If I'd only known I'd have taken him and there wouldn't have been a damn thing she could do about it!" A few tears leaked out.
Nabiki had her in a hug faster than you can say 'Oh my'
"Yeah I know. We'd have fought over him though and I know who the better woman would have been." She left out just who that would have been. She then looked at her sister with a serious look on her face. "I guess we could visit him though." She said with an impish smile on her face.
"Wha?" Kasumi said while whipping her head around to look her sister in the eyes.
In response Nabiki only smiled and reached under her pillow and pulled out all of her research. She spread it over the bed to allow Kasumi to look at it. Her eyes widened as she saw exactly what her sister had.
"Oh my!"
"Exactly we may not be in the running anymore but maybe..." She left the statement unfinished implying that maybe they could get back in the running.
Kasumi saw something in the pile that peaked her interest. She darted her hand out and snatched the picture out of the pile before Nabiki could stop her.
"Oh... Oh wow I didn't know you had this!" Kasumi was blushing as she looked at the photo.
It was one of the older photos of Ranma from a while back. It was hot that night and unbeknownst to his father Ranma had decided to go to bed au natural. In the morning he had tossed his son out the window to spar with him. In his sleep addled mind Ranma had forgotten that he was buck naked until Akane had clobbered him for being a 'pervert'. She never knew that Nabiki had been able to snap a picture.
"I want a copy of this." Kasumi stated flatly indicating that this was not a request but a statement of fact.
"Uhh sure, it'll take me a bit to make a copy of it though." In truth she already had 10 copies made up. They were not for sale though.
Suddenly the door swung open. Kasumi quickly hid the picture of Ranma in her apron while Nabiki was scrambling to clean up the papers off her bed. She had cleaned up most of them when Genma walked into the room. Nabiki scowled at Genma's audacity to just walk into HER room without knocking.
"Uhh Kasumi your food was burning so I turned it off." He said looking around the room like he was casing the place to clean it out. "I also overheard Akane say that she wanted to help in the kitchen."
"Oh my god I've got to save supper!" Kasumi said as she dashed out of the room and down the stairs. Some of the papers and photos on the bed were sucked off the bed in her wake. They landed on the floor and were quickly gathered up by Nabiki.
Genma just turned around and walked out of the room. Nabiki was looking at his back and never saw him smile as he held onto a piece of paper that he had swiped from right under her nose. His disobedient son needed to be brought in line soon before his mother corrupted him. If he didn't his and Tendo's dream of uniting the schools would be gone forever. He needed to be told that his proper fiancée was a Tendo not some gaigin slut or some girl that his mother picked out. Come on women don't know what kind of woman would be right for him. Sure Akane couldn't cook, fight, sew, or do pretty much any of the female arts, that and the fact that she seemed to actively dislike him just meant that they were perfect for each other.
He would have to go on a little trip to Juuban tomorrow.
Remember intelligence is not his strong point.
And now back to our regularly scheduled program.
The outers and the cats were already waiting at the shrine when the inners along with Ranma and Shampoo came trudging up the stairs. All of them had bulges all over their bodies and Ranma had something heavy in his shirt which was slung over his left shoulder. Luna and Artemis hid since they still weren't sure about Ranma or this Shampoo person that was with them.
"So what's up?" Haruka called out.
"Attacked... Monster... Money." Huffed Usagi. She was designed for speed to be able to run to school on time, she didn't have the strength or stamina to carry heavy weights for any length of time.
"So you were attacked by a monster made of money and now you've got lots of loot. Damn it why don't we ever get monsters like that!" Said Hotaru.
"Hotaru don't swear." Mirichu said in a slightly reprimanding voice.
"Then raise my allowance." She deadpanned.
"No."
"Fuck."
"Where are you getting it from?"
"Luna says it all the time." She said with a shrug.
"I think my violin bow needs some new strings." She said with a scowl marring her face. "Oh Luna we need to talk about something." She said in a sweet voice as she took off to try and find Luna.
"Don't hurt her too much Diana still needs to be born." Chibi Usa called out.
"I'm going inside." Rei said as she trudged towards the shrine doors.
"Yeah sure." Makoto said and moved to follow.
The rest of the scouts moved to follow Rei into the shrine. Eventually Usagi was the only one left outside. This was because when she stopped she lost her momentum and she was too tired to start up again.
"Medic." She whimpered before she fell over.
Inside the shrine Rei went to her room to drop off her load. Everybody else that was carrying money dropped to the floor and started unloading their stashes. A few minutes later Mirichu came in dragging a semi conscious Usagi who was leaving a trail of coins in her wake. Chibi Usa was following behind picking up the coins that her future mother was dropping. When she got back to the future these would be over a thousand years old and worth a fortune for collectors.
Artemis padded in behind Chibi Usa and was looking around at the people gathered there. Minako had told him about Ranma and Shampoo but he had never met them since the last time they were here they were busy trying to kill Makoto. He noticed the only male in the room and assumed that he was this Ranma fellow. He also remembered that he was a werecat too. Maybe he could talk Minako into ungrounding him, a voice from the male species and all that.
"Us guys gotta stick together after all."
Artemis walked over to where Ranma was sitting. Ranma had his head down sorting through his large pile of coins.
"Hey there. Ranma is it? Hi I'm Artemis." He said while holding out his paw in a friendly gesture expecting him to reach out and shake it.
Of course the best laid plans often do not survive contact with reality. Ranma looked up to see where the voice had come from and he came face to fuzzy face with his worst nightmare.
"C...c....c...CAT!" Ranma screamed as he jumped up and dashed over to the wall.
"Uhh yeah last time I checked why." He looked behind him to check to see if his tail was still there.
Makoto and Shampoo's heads both snapped up when they heard Ranma scream. Shampoo quickly ran over to where Ranma was cowering in the corner and dragged him outside. When Ranma was safely outside Artemis finally got the nerve to speak up again.
"Is it just me or was that extremely weird."
Everybody turned towards Makoto for an explanation.
"Umm... well.... you see." She stuttered.
The door opened and a shirtless werecheetah stepped through with Shampoo at his side.
"When I was six my stupid pop got it in hisss head to teach me the neko ken. You dig a deep pit and toss some cats in. Let them starrrve for a few days to get them good and mean. Tie the trrrrainee in fish and toss them in the pit." He paused to let this sink in. "I was six at the time and he had to thrrrow me in five times before I snapped." He sat down again in front of his pile. He looked at where Artemis was sitting. "Whenever a cat is nearrr me I frrreak out like you saw earrrlier."
"But you're not scared of me now. Why's that?" Artemis asked.
"Well turrrns out that when I'm in my hybrrid forrrm I'm not afrrraid of felines." He reached over and started petting Artemis. "Although the rrrolling of my rrr's is annoying."
Ranma was getting slightly uncomfortable with their line of questioning and decided to change the subject. Figuring that Shampoo would forgive him he decided to pick on her.
"Hey Shampoo what was up with that Sailorrr scout thing?" He called over.
"Shampoo no know what you talking about." She had of course blocked the entire horrible experience from her mind.
"Sailor scout?" Asked Haruka as she looked over towards the purple haired girl.
"Yeah it was really cool too. She had on a small leather bikini and called herself Amalthea, but her magic wasn't working right but then she made all these coins and I can go get ice cream now and hey wait I'm missing coins!" Usagi said in one breath run on sentences be damned.
"Umm so you're Sailor Amalthea? It's not any planet that I know of." Rei said as she tried to forget the tight uniform that hid nothing. She got a slight nosebleed just from thinking of it.
"Actually it's not a planet, it's a moon of Jupiter. Well calling it a moon would be pushing it, It's actually just a large chunk of rock in a semi erratic orbit around Jupiter." Ami the brain strikes again.
"Could you transform, I wanna see it." Said Hotaru mirroring her parents thoughts.
"Shampoo no want to!"
"Come on Shampoo if your magics broken maybe the transformation is too?" Makoto offered.
"Fine but Shampoo still hurt horny old womans." She said as she pulled out her henshin rod.
"Amalthea moon power make up!"
It wasn't the same transformation sequence as before. This time her clothes exploded (literally) off her body, little scraps of cloth fluttering all over the room. The magic kicked in sounding this time like a turbine winding up. When everything was done the costume wasn't the same as before.
Playboy bunny girl.
Shampoo quickly dropped the transformation and tried again.
Cat girl.
Again.
Can Can girl.
Again
Dominatrix outfit.
"Shampoo think she stop while she ahead."
"Uhh yeah I guess so." Haruka said while staring.
She received a smack upside the head from her partner for her lecherous ways.
When she dropped the transformation for the last time her clothes did not reform. Ergo she was left standing buck naked in the middle of the floor. She tried covering herself but not before they saw that she was naturally purple. Makoto already knew this as she had to pull some purple hair from her teeth this morning.
"Come on we'll get you something to wear." Rei said as she led Shampoo away hoping that they wouldn't run into her grandpa on the way back to her room.
The room fell into an uncomfortable silence as nobody really commenting on it but all of them wanting too. Eventually Shampoo and Rei came back with Shampoo wearing one of Rei's shrine maiden outfits. On Rei it was a bit baggy but on Shampoo it was a little tight.
"So you interested in sparring sometime?" Haruka asked Ranma trying to break the silence.
"Umm no."
This was apparently the wrong answer.
"What I'm not good enough!" She shouted.
"Uhh no." He said as he fidgeted slightly under her gaze.
"Actually Ranma I'd like to see that fight." Makoto noted absently.
"Not you too?" He said a little betrayed that she would sell him out so easily.
"Oh don't worry you won't break Sailor Uranus that easily." She said aloud. In her mind however she was making a list of things that she would need to capture the moment of Haruka getting her ass royally thrashed.
"Alright outside right now!" She said as she grabbed her henshin rod from subspace.
"Uhh ok I uhh guess." He said as he stood up. Haruka was taken aback as he towered over her by a good foot and a bit.
She gulped down her fear and reminded herself that this was just a friendly sparring match. She looked back at Mirichu and Hotaru. Mirichu had a small flag that had the symbol of Uranus on it and Hotaru had a big novelty foam hand with a #1 on it. She felt confidence that her family was behind her. She turned towards the door, raised her henshin rod in the air and called out her transformation phrase. A few seconds later Sailor Uranus was ready to rock and roll.
"Let do it." She said as she jumped out the door into the back yard of the shrine.
Ranma followed at a slower pace as his pants were constricting even though Shampoo had cut down the sides so that they wouldn't tear when he changed. They were still tight though.
"Hold up a second." He said as he undid his pants and stepped out of them. He was clad in fur and boxer shorts. Many of the girls there started to feel a little... flushed. Not all of them were human either.
Of course since Haruka was a 100% rug muncher that much male flesh/fur didn't affect her at all.
"Much better." He stretched his muscles rippling under his skin. "Ready." He said as he fell into a defensive stance.
Haruka took him up on his offer and assumed an offensive stance based on mobility and speed. Makoto walked up between the two of them and raised her hand in the air.
"Alright this is just a friendly sparring match the rules are as follows. One, there are to be NO killing or maiming blows. Two there will be no energy attacks magical or otherwise." She looked directly at Uranus when she said this. "Three this is strictly martial arts no real weapons." She waited till this sunk in. "All right Let's get it on." She said as she dropped her arm and jumped out of the way.
Haruka rushed in quickly feinting to the left then lashing out with a vicious roundhouse... which was caught in his right hand. Of course his feet slid back from the force of the kick. He compensated and stopped his slide. Tightening his hold on her ankle he tossed her towards the boundary wall.
She screamed and impacted the wall with her back. She bounced off and fell to her knees. There was a spiderweb of cracks on the wall where she hit. She shook her head and got to her feet, if a little shaky.
"Hey you're fixing that!" Rei yelled.
When Haruka had gotten her balance back she charged back in but she was more cautious this time. When she was in striking range she noted that Ranma was still in a defensive stance even though with his longer reach he could strike and she wouldn't be able to touch him. Well if he was going to patronize her she'd show him the error of his ways.
When she got well within striking range she feinted with a straight punch which Ranma deflected easily. The punch was only a feighnt for her real attack which was a quick jab with her left knee to his groin.
Ranma's eyes widened as he realized he fell for her dirty trick. It was one his pop used quite often when Ranma had hit puberty. He quickly shot his right hand down to try and deflect her knee.
He was so close.
Of course close only counts in horseshoes and handgernades.
It wasn't a full sack but it was enough to break his defense for half a second. Half a second was all she needed to throw a massive uppercut right at his jaw. He was tossed back several yards where he landed on his back. He rolled with the blow coming back up to his feet.
"Alright playtimes over!" He roared.
Quicker than she could blink he was in her face punching and kicking. It was all she could do to protect her face. Sooner than she would have thought it ended. She was sore all over. The last time she felt this bad was that time that one of those generic monsters threw her through that reinforced brick wall. Their outfits could soak up a schwack of damage. She wondered what the Sailor Mercury was thinking when she made the lycanthropic races. If she didn't build in the magic/silver weakness they'd be damn near unstoppable.
Of course philosophy of a head injury is the second best kind of philosophy.
Ranma was just standing there clutching himself when an ofuda streaked out of nowhere and stuck to Ranma's forehead.
"What the hell?" He said as he reached up and pulled it off his head.
"So monster you're strong enough to withstand my ward!" Grandpa Hino shouted. He put his hands in his sleeves. "Then try this on for size. Shinto supreme ward storm!" He shouted.
Hundreds of wards shot forth from his sleeves. The wards started circling Ranma at a furious pace. he tried swiping them out of the air. For every ward he tore in half three took it's place. Slowly the wards started converging, some of them jumping out of the swarm and clinging to his body. During this time Haruka used the distraction to slip away. When the swarm had almost completely obscured Ranma from view grandpa Hino violently brought his hands together. The swarm suddenly shot towards where Ranma was standing. Within the blink of an eye he was covered head to toe in wards. He struggled a bit but the charged wards held fast.
"Ha take that you demonic werecreature!" Grandpa crowed.
Suddenly he felt a tap on the top of his head. He looked up into the scowling faces of Makoto and Shampoo.
"What can this humble priest do for you two young and lovely ladies today?" He smiled as he stared at their breasts. Rei sure had some cute friends.
Of course unlike Happosai grandpa Hino knew his chances against these girls.
"Let him go." Makoto said simply.
"But he's a were creature! He must be destroyed! The movies all say so!"
Makoto looked at him with her big innocent eyes.
"You've known me for a few years now am I evil?"
"No you're not evil." He pulled out a little wooden box that he showed to them. "This is the shrine's evil detector." On the box were two words good and evil and there was a needle. Currently the box was pointing at Shampoo and the needle was wavering on good.
He was staring down at the box and moved it over to where Makoto was standing. The needle moved a bit farther over to good.
"See even the box says you'..." He looked up to where he thought Makoto's face would be. He had to look up a foot and a bit more and around two large bumps in her dress. His eyes widened as he saw the ears, eyes, tail and most important the FUR that now covered her.
"Ma... Makoto how, when, why, WHO?" He stuttered.
"Well starting off from the beginning, how do you think, Since I was born, because the universe thought it would be funny, and this is Shampoo of the Joketzu amazons and the guy you just wrapped up is our shared husband/boyfriend who I would appreciate you letting go before Shampoo here snaps."
Shampoo pulled out her favorite silvered Tai Chi sword. She had managed to sneak it out of the weapons cabinet this morning when Mrs. Saotome and her great grandmother were suffering from their hangovers. She held it out to her side blade out. She tensed all of her muscles and started shaking a little bit.
"Better hurry she's getting mad now." Makoto said nonchalantly while extending and retracting her claws.
Grandpa Hino was transfixed by the sight of Shampoo jiggling... I mean shaking with rage. He quickly reached into his robes and pulled out a blue diamond shaped pill and popped it in his mouth. Shampoo had started to shake harder, Her dress started to rip in places where she was flexing her muscles.
"I'd hurry or she's going to go hulk on your ass grandpa." Makoto said leaving her claws out.
The wards dropped to the ground like leaves from a tree.
Mr. Hino scampered behind Rei and hid behind her.
"Rei you'll protect your old grandpa won't you?"
"Forget it gramps."
"S'all right." Ranma called out from where he was standing. "I'm fine no need to quarterrr the old guy."
"Airen!" Shampoo said as she bounced over and molded herself to his side.
As Shampoo was purring against Ranma's side another semi feline was prowling between his legs. Luna had watched Ranma as he fought Haruka. Unknown to the girls, and to Ranma himself, when he transformed he let off tons of male pheromones. When he changed into a girl it was female pheromones. It was the same for Makoto. Good thing it only worked on cats or they'd be in trouble.
Luna stopped about a foot away from where Ranma was standing. Her front legs were compressed, her back arched, and her hind legs were ramrod straight. Her tail was standing proud like a flagpole in the air.
"Luna you slut!" This from the peanut gallery.
That snapped Luna out of her hormone induced haze. Well at least a little. She quickly scampered away from Ranma and hid behind Usagi.
Makoto just couldn't resist ribbing Luna a bit.
"Oh come on Luna why would he be satisfied with such a small kitty like you..."
She struck an extremely sexy pose with her right hand behind her head, her chest stuck out as far as it would go the material on her shirt giving protest the built in splits threatened to burst wide open if she took a deep breath, Her left arm was cocked back to her side like when she was transforming, finally her legs were splayed apart pulling her skirt tight against her bottom. Grandpa Hino, Ranma, Mirichu, Haruka who was hiding in the surrounding trees, Hotaru, Shampoo, and Rei all developed simultaneous nosebleeds.
"when he can have a big Pussy... cat like me."
"I'd like a big pussy cat like you." Artemis said as he rubbed himself against her legs.
"Ack!" Makoto said as she jumped away from the perverted cat. She shifted back to her human form hoping that would provide some protection.
Turning to Ranma and Makoto grandpa Hino spoke "Well as long as you're not doing anything evil there's no reason for me to be here" He turned to go. "I'll just let you go back to your secret sailor scout meeting now." Mr. Hino said as he shuffled off. Knowing that the werecats weren't here to cause evil there was nothing left for him to do.
Now off to ogle the young girls that had just walked up the shrine steps.
"Damn it does everybody know we're the Sailor Scouts!" Usagi shouted.
"Well just my mom, Cologne, Walterrr and Shampoo." - Ranma
"Grandpa knows because he caught me transforming once." - Rei
"Well my parents don't know." This from Minako.
"Ahh well you see, your mom kinda stepped on my tail once and well you know." Said Artemis as he moved behind Makoto hoping she'll protect him.
"Artemis I can't believe you! Weren't you always telling me the importance of keeping our identities secret from everyone!"
"Yeah but she gave me cream, I mean real cream with vodka."
"Never could hold his liquor." Luna commented from behind Usagi.
"So mom got you all shit faced and you go and blab everything!" Minako was seriously thinking about a cat fur hat.
"Pretty much." He said.
"Get back here you!" Minako yelled as she charged where Artemis was hiding.
"Makoto my love kitty protect me!"
"Sorry Romeo, this kitty cat already has two studs to keep her happy." Makoto said as she walked away leaving a stunned Artemis behind.
"Two?"
Unfortunately he never got to finish that thought as Minako tackled him so that he couldn't get away.
"Well at least my cat isn't a blabbermouth." Usagi said proudly crossing her arms underneath her breasts and lifting her nose in the air in a haughty manor.
"Umm well..." Luna started.
Usagi whipped around glaring at Luna.
"What! You told her!" Usagi shouted.
"You talk in your sleep!" Luna countered avoiding the fact that she also talked in her sleep. "You also toss around and snore like a buzzsaw."
"I..." She was left speechless.
"Besides only your mother knows. She's very proud of her daughter."
"Mom... mom's proud of me?" She replied stunned.
"Yes; knowing her daughter is going to be ruler of the world is a lot better than what she thought you were going to do."
Usagi was brought out of her reverie. She looked down at Luna.
"Yeah she thought that you'd be a good paperweight or if you were really ambitious a top quality doorstop." Luna said with pride.
"Wahhh, my mother doesn't believe in my abilities!" Usagi wailed.
The rest of the meeting was spent with Usagi and Ranma eating, Usagi trying to steal Rei's manga, and the cat's getting reamed out by their owners. Typical meeting. Not surprising enough Setsuna never showed up. Almost like she could see into the future or something.
The scene pulls out and shifts.
In a dark cavern that hasn't seen the light of day for millennia a shadowy figure sits on a throne. Faceless minions mill about chanting something in an evil sounding language.
The woman on the throne smiles as she takes a sip of her wine.
Authors notes:
Yet another chapter done. For some reason I'm able to write 25+ pages for this story but struggle with 20 for Cat's Tale. Weird. I have finally introduced the broken sailor scouts. I've got a couple more in mind. I seem to have lost my prereader. If anybody's interested in the job contact me at
nealharris@otakumail.com
PS: Thanks to all that have sent me feedback in one form or another. I really appreciate it.