Deees claimer
The following is an original creation using characters and situations that are owned by large animation firms that will sue me blind if I don't put in this disclaimer that Ranma, Sailor Moon, and Gold Diggers are owned by other people.
Chapter 6: Tea with Cthulu
The next morning Ranma woke up framed by a purring Makoto and Shampoo. Makoto had taken to sleeping in her hybrid form. She said that it felt natural to her even though she'd only had a few days to get used to it. Since Makoto was in her hybrid form he had to sleep in his hybrid form as well. That they didn't have sex last night something that Ranma was very grateful for. He didn't know if he could take too many of those 'sparring' sessions before he keeled over. Looking to his right then to the left, he wondered how such a thing could have happened that he would go from three fiancées down to two. Add to that the fact that Makoto had only known him for a couple of days and she had already jumped in the sack with him and done a fair bit of horizontal tangoing. Shampoo he could understand, she'd known him longer and even back in Nerima she'd tried jumping him several times.
Looking at his clock on the nightstand he noted that it was time to get up. This proved to be more difficult than he first suspected as both Shampoo and Makoto were so intertwined with him that every time he tried to get free he had to move an arm or a leg that was preventing him from moving. Problem was that every time he disentangled himself from one girl and went to work on the other, the girl that he had gotten free of would wrap herself around him again. It seemed to be a loosing battle until his mother popped her head into his room. She was also in her hybrid form.
"Aren't you three up yet?" She said with a smile.
"Umm I can't seem to get frrree." Ranma said sheepishly trying to either spontaneously combust or turn invisible.
"Here let me give you a hand." She said as she walked over to the large bay windows that were in his room. She threw the windows open and took a huge breath of air.
"It seems like it's going to be a wonderful day." She commented to no one in particular as she walked over to the side of the bed opposite of the window.
"Umm mom what arrre you doing." Ranma said nervously.
"Hmm." She said with a smile as she grabbed the edge of the bed sheets with both her hands.
"Mommy!" Ranma squeaked as he all of a sudden figured out just how they were going to be woken up.
"All hands on deck!" She shouted as she flipped the sheet and all of the occupants out the window.
As soon as they were out the window Shampoo was wide awake. Fifteen years of training allowed her body to automatically wake up and right herself when she suddenly attained flight. For a while it was her great grandmother's favorite way of waking her up in the morning when she started going through puberty and was difficult to wake up. She looked down to see where she was going to land.
Water
Why did it always have to be water?
For Ranma the story was pretty much the same. His old man used to toss him out of the Tendo's guest room on a daily basis for training. Unlucky for him he had 110 kilos of Makoto to keep safe. He quickly pulled her still sleeping form from his side into his arms. A quick look to the side confirmed that Shampoo didn't need saving. He looked down at his landing zone.
Water.
The story of his life.
Splashdown.
The pool was surprisingly deep for its size. Since Ranma and Makoto combined were quite heavy they went right to the bottom. Ranma of course changed into a girl as soon as he hit the water. Shampoo's night clothes were floating on top of the water with an irritated wet cat treading water beside them. The curse really sucked sometimes.
There was a sudden waterspout as two wet female were cheetahs burst out of the pool. Ranma quickly put the now sputtering Makoto on her side so that she could spit up the water that she inhaled. His mother was standing at the window looking down at her now female son. She was grinning like a mad woman. Because of her recent stunt he was seriously considering the funny farm for his old lady. Well no not a farm she'd tend to eat the other animals. Maybe a funny zoo.
"What the hell werrre you thinking Makoto could have drrrowned!" He shouted up at his crazy mother.
"I don't know what you're talking about son. Unless it's silver or magic it can't kill us! Now get dried off breakfast is ready."
Sure enough as soon as she turned away from the window he felt a large hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw that, other than looking like a drowned cat, Makoto was just fine. Looking over to the pool he saw Shampoo in her cat form pulling her soaked clothes out of the pool.
"You ok Shampoo?" Makoto asked.
She was answered by a sneeze and a pitiful meow from the small cat.
"I guess we'd better get cleaned up." Ranma said as he scooped Shampoo into her arms and she proceeded to the furo area.
After they had finished cleaning up and switching back to their proper species/gender, they went to get dressed. Ranma noted that a few of his new uniforms had the Velcro tear zones in them. He wondered if any of his normal clothes had been altered yet.
Breakfast that morning was an interesting affair. Cologne looked much better than she did yesterday, which basically meant that she merely had the shadow of death hovering over her instead of looking like death warmed over. The shadow waved at them then walked off. Her hair was dyed a dark blue, a couple of shades darker than when she was younger. The piercings were all gone now (well the ones people could see as she was still kind of partial to the nipple ring.) She still wore the Sailor Moon baby doll T-shirt. Makoto decided that after school today she'd try to find the elder a Sailor Jupiter T-shirt or get one made. If Ranma, Shampoo and herself got married they'd be family, in a weird twisted sort of way.
Nodoka who had switched back to her human form looked at the clock.
"Don't you think it's time you got going to school?" She asked.
Her response was three empty seats.
"And don't you think you should be getting to work yourself?"
"Oh I don't work today. I took the day off. Too many important things to do." She responded calmly taking a sip of her tea.
"Like?"
"Beauty spa. I've got to keep my young looks somehow."
"Maybe I should join you, I'm not feeling as young as I used to you know." Cologne said flipping her hair back.
The shadow of death walked past again playing a gameboy. It stopped to look at the elder. It checked its watch then went back to playing its game.
Nodoka wisely chose to not make any comments about the fact that a belt sander would not be able to sand out all the wrinkles in her skin. She also was barely able to resist the urge to say that there was not enough mud on the planet to fix her up.
Many people think that Ranma got his foot in mouth disease from his father, when in reality it was his mother who was the parent with the real affliction. It was just that she'd learned to hold her tongue with time and much practice.
The walk to school was pretty uneventful. There were no monsters jumping out of the woodwork to try and steal peoples, heart crystals, heart sparkles, energy, or underwear. As usual Ranma was framed by his girlfriend and wife. Normally having a girlfriend and a wife at the same time is called adultery, but this is Ranma so having a wife that was also cheating on him with his girlfriend was pretty much par for the course.
When they got to school they went up to their homeroom. Ami was sitting there reading a book as usual. She looked up when they came into the classroom and waved them over.
"I see you guys had a good nights rest last night." She said with a hint of a smile on her face.
Ranma and Makoto turned blood red with embarrassment. Shampoo of course failed to catch the innuendo.
"We just slept together!" Ranma shouted.
All of the students in the class turned as one and stared at Ranma. They boys were fuming that he got to nail two hot chicks like Makoto and Shampoo. The girls were fuming because he nailed Shampoo and Makoto and not them. Ranma of course just wished that he could turn invisible. Wait a sec he could turn invisible.
"Goshin Dai Ryuu Sei Fu."
When he vanished the entire class including Makoto gasped in shock. The only one who wasn't surprised was Shampoo since she'd seen this little trick before. The students who were used to magical warriors from a long dead kingdom running around turned back to something much more important. Their gazes turned towards Shampoo and Makoto.
Makoto had enough of this. "We just slept in the same bed. Nothing happened just sleep."
"Until crazy mother throw into pool."
"You had sex in the pool?" One brave student said.
"No have sex in pool." It could be done but it would be quite difficult especially since she didn't feel like trying to do it all as cats.
She'd have to suggest that for next time.
With that most of the students went back to what they were doing before. Only a few of the students were paying any attention to the group.
The door to the classroom flew open and Usagi rushed in just ahead of Minako. She tripped over her own feet and achieved flight for a few seconds before she was grabbed out of the air, floated over and set in her seat. She looked around but couldn't see anybody near her.
"Thanks." She said to her unknown helper.
There was no response since Ranma had moved back over to be beside Makoto.
A few seconds later the Setsuna came into the room. Students scrambled to their seats. She started the roll call.
"Saotome Ranma?" She called out. Even without her time sense she knew that he wasn't there because he wasn't in his seat.
"Here!" His disembodied voice called out.
"What?"
"I'm right here." He said again, this time dropping the technique and fading into view again.
Setsuna was shocked at his casual display of the Saotome forbidden techniques. She was aware that he knew them but to see him using them was something altogether different. She wondered if he'd be willing to teach the Umi sen Ken to the scouts as the main purpose of it was defense and stealth. This was an area that the scouts sorely lacked in especially Usagi with her 'hey we're here to kick your ass; now lay down and die' speeches.
"Alright you hosers we've got lots of work to do today so let's get to it, eh."
She really shouldn't have watched Strange Brew last night.
The rest of the day went pretty much the same as the previous day except there were no monsters rampaging this time. Setsuna and the other teachers tried to shove information into the youngsters heads and they tried to resist as much as possible. Somehow Shampoo and Ranma only got sent into the hall once for sleeping in class.
At lunch the entire group including Setsuna gathered around a tree to eat. Setsuna was the first to speak up.
"Alright I've got some videos for sale here." She announced to the gathered group. "Only 5000 yen each."
"And just why would we want a porn video of you and Walter?" Makoto asked.
"Why Mako-chan this is of YOUR first romp on the wild side. Hell if I could sell this to the media I'd make a fortune! It's got everything in it.
Male/Female Male/Female/Female Female/Female/Female Male/Female/Sort of Bestiality Male Beast/Female/Female Beast
Hell the only thing you three didn't do was all cats, but they can watch that kind of stuff on the nature channel."
"I'll buy one!" This was from Minako.
"I'll take one as well!" Ami
"I'll take two!" Usagi said. She would give the second to Rei.
"Shampoo as well! Wait Shampoo there she no need copy!" Even though she was secure with her sexuality didn't mean that she was willing to show off that sexuality to her sort of friends/allies.
"Shampoo kill!" She yelled as she pulled a buster sword from somewhere. Nobody wanted to know exactly where she was hiding a sword bigger than herself on her person.
"Now wait a minute Shampoo you promised you wouldn't kill her." Usagi stated calmly.
"Shampoo forgot sorry." She said lowering the buster sword to the ground.
"Shampoo hurt!" She yelled as she took a 'non lethal' swipe at the seated Setsuna.
Setsuna rolled to the side to dodge the swipe. She then back flipped to her feet to avoid the follow up swipe and then took off running with an irate Shampoo hot on her heels.
"You know there were days that I wanted to do that." Usagi said as she took a bite of her food.
There was some head nodding from the other three girls, as they too had thought of doing something evil to the Senshi of Pluto because of her vague half answers and annoyingly mysterious ways.
"Yeah but I don't think I could swing that buster sword unless I was transformed." Ami commented watching Shampoo and Setsuna rush past again. Shampoo was swinging the large happy instrument of death like it was a normal broadsword.
Several males, that were thinking of asking Shampoo out even though she was with Ranma, decided to back off when they saw her cut through the boundary wall with one swipe then kept going.
"Just how strong is she anyway?" Usagi said as she and Ranma unconsciously started on Setsuna's lunch.
"She's pretty strong. Until recently her favorite way of getting into a place was through the wall." Ranma said as he munched on a bit of tuna. He'd have to ask Setsuna to share the recipe with Makoto.
"You mean she used to break down walls for fun?" Makoto said while getting into the action of eating Setsuna's lunch. Yummy tuna!
"Yeah but the old ghoul got her out of doing that quickly since all of the bills for the damage came to the cat cafe." Ranma said grabbing a bit more tuna. He'd have to remember to get some tuna after school today.
Shampoo ran past the group again yelling not death threats towards Setsuna. As for Setsuna she was not actually hurt per se however she was down a few articles of clothing. Currently she was running around in just her blouse and panties. Upon closer inspection one could see the image of Tuxedo mask on the back of her panties.
"Hey wait a minute!" Usagi screamed.
Shampoo was shocked when Usagi grabbed her sword from her hand then shoved her to the side. Shampoo rolled with the hit and watched as Usagi started chasing Setsuna around.
"Come back here you whore!"
Of course since Usagi wasn't anywhere near as strong as Shampoo she wasn't able to swing the sword or even lift it. In her mad-on state all she was able to do was drag the sword on the ground. Setsuna was able to get away and teleport back to her house for a quick change of clothes then back to school.
"Well that was interesting." Setsuna said as she sat back down in her seat. Her new business suit looked perfect, almost exactly the same as the one that was destroyed by Shampoo.
"Um Setsuna you do know that the shadow of death is hanging over your shoulder." Minako pointed out helpfully.
Setsuna looked over her shoulder and came face to crotch with a nondescript figure in a long black hooded cloak holding a scythe. The figure raised its arm revealing a gleaming white bony hand from inside the sleeve. The figure pointed one of its bony fingers directly at Setsuna.
"Oh him. That's just Jimmy the grim spectre of death." She looked him in the 'face' and said. "No you can not take my life." Jimmy pointed at Ranma. "No you can't have him either." He made some hand gestures. "Yeah sure I'm still up for poker this Saturday. You bringing the beer?" She said. He responded by a few more gestures. "What do you mean it's my turn?! I brought the last two times!" Death jiggled its hand and scythe a bit. "Yes I did just get laid recently although that's none of your business." Ranma edged closer to Makoto when she said this. The figure made a couple more gestures before walking away. A small cat that went to rub up against its legs dropped dead.
"Umm Setsuna do we really want to know why death is after you?" Minako asked.
"Oh him. Every twenty years or so he drops by and asks if he can take my soul to the afterlife. Of course since I've still got things to do I always say no." She reached over for her lunch. It was... lighter than she remembered it to be. "My lunch!" She yelled looking directly at Ranma when she said this.
"Oh sure your lunch gets eaten and automatically you blame Ranma." He said while rolling his eyes.
"You've got tuna breath kitty." She responded, with a half lidded expression.
Ranma blushed at being caught.
"Ranma you really shouldn't eat other people's lunches you know." Makoto admonished him.
"You're calling the kettle black, fuzzy." Setsuna said turning her gaze on Makoto. "You still have some tuna on your chin."
Makoto's hand immediately went to her chin to wipe away the imaginary piece of tuna. She blushed and turned away knowing that she'd just been busted.
Of course by this time Shampoo and Usagi had gotten tired of trying to find the runaway teacher and had returned to the tree to see Setsuna calmly sitting with the others talking with them. Shampoo stomped up to Setsuna. Before she could make her proclamation Setsuna beat her to the punch. She held up a slip of paper in her left hand. It had the word detention on it in nice big red letters.
"I expect to see you after school in the detention room."
"Shampoo still hurt." She said while raising her buster sword.
"You'll have detention till the end of the school year if you do."
The war to hurt Pervert senshi vs detention for a year that was going on in Shampoo's head was raging full on when Makoto appeared beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder. A simple shake of her co-wife's head was all it took to tip the scales in favor of letting the horny old woman go.
"Shampoo stand down." Of course if Sailor Amalthea decided to get into the action and accidentally pelt Pluto with coins... well as Uranus proved 'accidents' do happen.
Just as Usagi was going to get into the action the bell rung signaling that classes were going to start soon. Setsuna just stood up and brushed the grass off of her dress.
"Alright back to class everybody." She said cheerfully as if she wasn't in mortal danger just a few minutes prior.
The rest of the group just sat there for a few minutes after she left just staring at where she walked off to.
Then the late bell rung and all of them grabbed their stuff and dashed off to class.
Up in the tree where nobody could see him, Genma was hiding using most of his stealth techniques to stay hidden and undetected. He knew that the little girls would never notice him; however the boy or his gaijin slut girlfriend of his would be able to spot him almost instantly if he slacked off in his techniques for only a second. He was certain of it now, his son had to be taken away from his mother and these weak girls and back to his rightful fiancée or else he would get soft. With his mind made up he sat back in the tree and waited for classes to let out.
None of them made it back to class in time and as such they all had to stand in the hall with late signs. Makoto and Ranma also had hand drawn signs. Something about eating the teachers lunch. Shampoo and Usagi had signs about trying to kill the teacher. The students passing those two in the hall stayed on the opposite side of the hallway to stay away from the crazy girls. Once they were let back into the room class progressed as normal except for sporadic speculation on Setsuna's underwear choices by some of the more perverted members of the class.
One particularly loud and obnoxious pervert faded from existence and was replaced by a new student.
Nobody noticed.
When classes finally ended for the day the girls went to exchange their school shoes for their outside shoes. In Usagi's footlocker she found two tapes, Ami one and Minako one. They quickly shoved the incriminating evidence into their school bags lest Makoto or Shampoo catch them.
When they had all made it outside they saw Ranma confronting a portly man, with a white gi and a white handkerchief on his head, under the same tree that they had lunch under that day. Since none of them had ever met Genma Saotome they had no idea the powder keg that was about to go off.
"Foolish boy! To think all I've done for you and you go and betray me like this! Sleeping with those two whores instead of your rightful fiancée! It shames me to be your father." He started putting on the waterworks, Ranma wasn't affected.
"Yeah right, you mean all the things you've done to me! And don't call them whores! They've been nice to me since I got here. They are my friends and I won't have you badmouthing them." He yelled back.
"You mean they've been blowing you every night!" Fatass shot back.
"Added benefit!"
"Enough! You will come back and marry Akane and carry on the Anything Goes school like you were supposed to!" He yelled back swinging his arm to the side in what he hoped would be an intimidating gesture.
Unfortunately Makoto, who had been attracted to the disturbance, was in the space that his hand passed through. She was hit fairly hard and thrown back a few feet.
"Makoto!" Ranma yelled trying to rush to her side. He was yanked back and tossed to the ground by his father.
"Stupid boy! Why should you care about her when you've got a loving fiancée back at the Tendo's!" Genma was getting frustrated by now. His son was showing that stubborn streak of his wife's that was the main reason why he and Akane hadn't been married within a week. (It didn't have anything to do with the fact that she was constantly hitting him with large blunt objects. Noooo head trauma couldn't be the reason he refused to marry her.)
Genma was stupid. Come on we all know this. However he was also ignorant as well. He just assumed that Makoto was below his level of skill so he could push her around with immunity. This for the most part was true however for one minor detail.
Nobody hits Sailor Jupiter without Sailor Jupiter hitting back.
When the fat man had gone back to yelling at Ranma about how he should marry an 'Akane' she figured that this thing in front of her was Ranma's father. She tried sneaking up behind him to kick him in the nads through his legs. Since this was a favorite tactic of his to use on Ranma when he hit puberty he snapped his legs shut trapping her foot before it could sack him.
This minor distraction was all Ranma needed as he flew into action. He opened up with a shot to the gut which was deflected. Genma then tried jumping over his son to take him out from behind. Makoto's foot was still caught between his legs and threw him slightly off balance. He righted himself by springing off of Makoto's still extended foot breaking her leg in the process. She went down on the ground screaming, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Are you all right citizen?" Came a voice from beside her.
Working through the pain Makoto looked at Sailor Moon who was kneeling next to her. She saw Mercury and Venus waiting in the wings.
"That evil man broke my leg and now he's trying to hurt my fiancé." She choked back a sob. Ranma wasn't her fiancé yet but hey this was acting for the crowds that had gathered to watch the fight.
Sailor Moon stood up and faced where Genma and Ranma were going at it. Ranma had yet to bring out his heavy moves as he wanted the old man to get a bit more punishment before he took him down.
"Halt evildoer! For hurting innocent girls that are trying to protect their hunky fiancé I, Sailor Moon, will punish you in the name of Love and Justice!"
Genma took one look at the newest 'threat' and doubled over in laughter. Ranma of course capitalized on the old man's inattention by sacking him in the jimmy.
"He's all yours girls." He said as he ran over to where Makoto was on the ground crying and holding her leg.
"Alright Sailor Scouts Transform and Roll out!" Sailor Moon shouted.
"We're not Autobots, idiot!" Venus shouted.
"That and we're already transformed," Mercury helpfully pointed out.
"You're always trying to ruin my fun," she said before she turned back to where Genma was recovered and was stalking towards his son.
"Let's get em!" Venus shouted before she loosed a crescent beam at the fat man.
Genma dodged the little beams of light but couldn't quite dodge the ice shards. Screw not hitting girls it was time to get down to business.
While the girls were fighting with Genma panda Ranma was looking over Makoto's leg. There was already a large purple bruise forming in the area of the break. He knelt next to her and looked her in the eyes. She was still crying a bit.
"Ok I've got to look at this. I'll try to be as careful as possible." He waited for her to nod before he pressed three pressure points on her upper leg to deaden the pain just like Tofu did when his leg was broken by Akane.
He started out by probing the area around the break looking for any bone fragments and to determine if it was a compound or simple fracture. Since there was no bone sticking out of her skin he ruled out a major fracture. Further investigation led him to believe that it was just a simple fracture but that she still shouldn't walk on it. He needed a splint.
"Not the face not the face!"
Apparently the old man was learning that these little girls were definitely not weak.
He found some stakes that were being used for a survey and pulled them out. They were made of rough wood but they were straight and strong enough to immobilize her leg. He made sure to put the orange markers in the holes so that the surveyors wouldn't have to resurvey the entire area. When he had what he needed he dashed back to where Makoto was on the ground. She was no longer crying but he could see that she was still in pain. He looked around but couldn't find anything to secure the splint with. He let out a huge sigh as he was about to tear up his shirt. He stopped and ran over to where his old man was still being worked over by the scouts.
When he saw them he wished that he'd paid more attention to the fight. He knew that when they were transformed they were much faster and stronger than a normal person; however that transformation didn't give them increased skills. The only one of the three that had any formal training was Minako, and she was only a green belt at best in Shotokan. Their opponent was just as strong as any one of them and almost as fast, but five times as sneaky. Also sometime during the fight the old man had gotten hit with cold water and was a panda now. This slowed him up a bit but made him twice as strong as before.
To make a long story short the scouts were getting trashed.
Usagi was starting to rethink attacking the man. Unlike all of their old enemies this one was fast enough and smart enough to actually dodge their attacks and the few times they tried to close in and overpower him he would somehow trick them and then attack. She still couldn't believe that she'd fallen for the 'hey look there's 500 yen' or the 'your shoelace is untied.' She was seriously considering calling the others to help when Ranma re-engaged his father.
"Scouts fall back!" Usagi yelled.
Mercury and Venus jumped back as Ranma took on his father. Mercury was limping from where Genma had kicked her in the thigh and Venus had a nasty shiner from her encounter with the martial arts master.
Immediately the crowd closed in on the injured scouts. Three chairs were set up and the three scouts were sat down on the chairs. Two female masseurs per scout started working on their shoulders and legs while a personal trainer was screaming something about Rocky and to keep their guard up. Cold gatorade was squirted into their mouths and somebody shoved mouth guards in their mouths.
"Get out there and smash that monster!" The trainers yelled.
When the crowd turned back to where the panda monster was they found that it was beaten unconscious on the ground and that the boy that had held it off for the scouts to recover was helping the girl that was hurt by the panda monster.
The trainers held out their hands and the girls spit the mouth guards into their hands. The trainers then wandered off with the rest of the crowd muttering about 'contenders'.
Sighing Usagi got off the chair which was quickly snatched out from under her. Save the world countless times and they love you for it. Fuck up once and they're all over you. She just hoped Makoto would be ok.
When she got over to where Makoto was she noticed that Ranma had immobilized the leg with the wood stakes and the belt from the fat guy's gi. Makoto didn't look to be in too much pain at the moment, but that scream that she let out when her leg was broken was not something that could be dismissed as a simple injury.
"How is she?" Moon asked Ranma.
"Her leg's broken. It's just a simple fracture nothing serious. It'll take a couple of weeks to heal though."
"A Senshi has magical healing." Usagi commented absentmindedly. "If she was a senshi she'd be good as new in a couple of days. If we had Saturn here she could fix her in a couple of minutes."
"But she's not a Senshi and I don't see Saturn here," Ranma said trying to cover for Makoto. "I'm going to take her home could you get Venus to drag the fat panda and maybe get a message to Shampoo about what happened."
"Uhh sure. It is a leader's job to delegate tasks." She smiled a bit at this. "Venus front and center now!"
Minako came wandering up to where Usagi and Makoto were.
"What the hell is your problem?" She asked a bit miffed that Usagi was speaking to her like she was some kind of soldier.
"I want you to escort this nice couple back to their house, and you are to bring the panda along for punishment."
"So let me get this straight. You want me to drag his carcass all the way across town? Why me why don't you do it?"
"Because I'm the leader. I'm supposed to delegate responsibility." Usagi said smugly.
"Always thought I was in charge," Minako muttered as she walked over to where Genma was currently taking a dirt nap.
"Stupid fucking panda.... extinct... diet."
She picked him up off the ground and was about to throw him over her shoulder but stopped. She got an evil glint in her eye as she dropped him on his head and grabbed his hind leg.
"All right let's get going now." She called cheerfully over her shoulder.
Ranma picked up Makoto as gently as he could as to not aggravate her injury more than necessary. She still winced as her leg was jarred. He looked down at her waiting for a signal to proceed. She gave a small nod and they were off. Venus trailed them dragging the panda behind her. Of course her path was a little more erratic than Ranma's and not nearly as gentle. During the trip back to Mrs. Saotome's house she made a point to go over 10 rocks, 3 broken bottles, 20 curbs, and through 4 stinging bushes with lots of thorns and poisoness needles.
When they were out of sight Usagi turned to Ami.
"All right Mercury if you could go inform Ms. Shampoo that her fiancée's are heading home and that they were in a minor altercation with a wild panda." Even though the panda was really Ranma's father and the fact that she didn't know the meaning of the word altercation.
"Why don't you do it?" Mercury didn't want to be anywhere near Shampoo when she found out that Makoto was hurt. That and her leg was really starting to kill her.
"I'm the leader that's why." Usagi said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Then you lead yourself. I'm going home." And with that she limped off.
Usagi was left alone in the schoolyard. With a sigh she trudged off to tell Shampoo that Makoto had been hurt. She just hoped that Setsuna would be understanding when Shampoo would race out of the room.
When Ranma, Makoto, Venus and the still unconscious panda made it through the gates of the house Venus dropped the panda and took a break. Stupid heavy panda. Hearing a car pulling into the gate everybody moved to the side to let it through. Venus conveniently forgot the panda in the middle of the road.
Love and Justice except when she had to drag his fat ass all the way from school, then it was Hate and Revenge all the way.
The car pulled into the driveway and stopped short of running over the panda much to Venus' chagrin. Nodoka got out of the drivers side and Cologne got out of the passengers. Both of them saw a beaten panda on the ground.
"Well look what the cat dragged in." Cologne said.
Everybody stared at her.
"Figuratively of course."
"Son I assume this is your father." She said indicating the panda.
"Uhh yeah that's pops, he showed up at school yelling about how I should go marry Akane and dump Shampoo and Makoto." Ranma replied.
"I assume that during the fight your leg was injured child." Cologne said pointing at the splint.
"Yeah he jumped off my leg and broke it." Makoto sniffled.
"That is just like your father." Nodoka said as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Why don't you take Makoto into the house." She suggested.
"'K mom." He said walking off towards the front door.
"And don't forget to transform I'll be walking around in hybrid form."
Whether he heard her or not Nodoka transformed into her hybrid form not caring about her torn clothes. She hid it well but right now she was furious at her husband for all of the boneheaded things he'd done to her son. The engagements, the Neko Ken, Jusenkyo, and most importantly leaving her for TEN FUCKING YEARS! She walked over to where her Venus had dumped him. She looked down to where he was lying on the ground. She then looked over to Venus.
"I'll just be going now," Venus said as she turned tail and ran. Ranma's mother could be scary sometimes.
"Elder if you wouldn't mind pulling the car up to the garage and then joining me in the basement. My husband and I need to get reacquainted."
Cologne was shocked to hear that after all Genma's done to her she would be willing to forgive and forget so easily. This notion was quickly banished when she saw that Nodoka was flicking her claws in and out, and that her tail was swishing around violently behind her. She decided that the best thing that she could do would be to go assist her daughter-in-law and make sure that she didn't actually kill the old fool. No matter how indifferent Ranma was being about this she knew that if he died he would still resent his mother.
"Oh well. Such is life," Cologne said as she shrugged and climbed into the drivers seat. All you could see was knuckles on the steering wheel.
Nodoka bent over and picked up her husband. Damn he's put on weight since she last saw him. As she hefted him over her shoulder the car peeled out leaving black streaks on the driveway as a bluish grey haze filled the air. The car rocketed straight for the garage at high speed. Ten feet from the garage door the car went into a spin so that when it stopped it was facing away from the door ready to be used again.
Cologne got out of the car.
"Ahh that reminds me of my youth." She said with a spring in her step.
"Of course you were there when the wheel was invented." Walter commented from the doorway.
"Hah shows how much you know. I was nailing John Chrysler even before he picked up a wrench."
"Why not Henry Ford?"
"Too full of himself."
"Great grandma, great grandma!" Shampoo yelled from the gates as she jumped over them and raced towards the house.
Cologne turned towards the noisy interloper.
"What is it child."
Shampoo skidded to a stop about three feet from where Cologne was standing.
"Airen 2 hurt!"
"Airen 2?"
"Need some way of telling which is which."
Cologne just looked at her heir.
"Here's an idea why not try their names." She responded flatly.
"That good idea! What I ever do without you!" Shampoo said as she bounced off towards the house to see if her airens were ok. It was so fun playing with her great grandmother like that.
Cologne looked to the sky for some kind of sign. Anything to tell her what to do. A sign from the gods to lead her in the right direction.
What she got was a small black pig with a yellow polka dot bandanna around it's neck flying through the sky.
"Hmm now that's something you don't see everyday."
Walter looked up to see a pig soaring through the skies.
"You don't think that could be that Ryoga character do you?"
"It is a possibility. Since Ranma is no longer there to protect him I'd imagine that the young Akane took her pet for a nice hot bath." She paused for a moment. "I wish I could have gotten a picture of her face at that moment." She waited a few moments before pogoing off.
"Where are you going Elder?" Walter called from his perch on the stairs.
"Well I'm off to do a HALO jump. A couple of army friends of mine challenged me to do it a few years back."
"So why are you doing it now?!"
"When pigs fly! Oh yes and don't let Nodoka kill her husband!"
And with that she was off. Walter stared at the spot she was at for a few moments before shaking his head and going back inside. He shifted as soon as he got through the door.
In 'their' room Ranma in his hybrid form had placed Makoto on the bed, being careful not to jar her leg too much. He was about to cover her up and go get either a better splint or something like a cast when she stopped him.
"Hold on. Could you remove the splint, I want to change to my hybrid form first."
"Yeah sure." He said as he pulled off the splint.
They both shifted and he helped adjust her again so that she was comfortable.
"Ooo that's weird." She said while wiggling her toes.
"What is?" Ranma asked throwing the improvised splint in the garbage but keeping his fathers belt.
"It's tingling... around the break."
Ranma walked over and gently lifted the fur around the break site so that he could look at her skin. He saw the bruise that was around the break site fade before his eyes. He knew that he himself was a fast healer, but this was ridiculous.
"Yourrr brrruise is gone. I... wait a minute." He looked at her. "I knew that we healed fasterrrr when we'rrre in hybrrrid and full cat forrrms but this is rrridiculous."
"So that means???"
"You should be fully healed in a couple of hourrrs barrring getting hurrrt morrre."
Just then a purple blur shot through the door and plowed into the immobile Makoto jarring her leg. The bruise may have been gone but the leg was still fractured.
She screamed.
Shampoo blinked then zipped over to where Ranma was.
"Shampoo sorry." She repeated over and over while performing a great imitation of the crouch of the wild tiger. Ranma would have to remember to teach her the proper technique sometime. Her form was good but she wasn't bending her arms enough and her butt was way too high in the air.
After a few minutes of Shampoo groveling for forgiveness Makoto finally spoke up.
"It's alright now. Just... don't do that again."
Silence reigned for a good five minutes before Makoto spoke up.
"Umm Shampoo didn't you have detention or something?"
"Crybaby leader girl come to tell me that Airen 2 hurt by fat stupid panda man. Old pervert woman try stop me but no willing jump out window."
"And just what reason do you have to believe that I didn't follow you?" Came Setsuna's voice from about a foot away from Shampoo's left ear.
Shampoo yelped and leapt up to perform her 'husband's' patented cling to the ceiling technique. After seeing him do it so many times she was able to copy it perfectly.
"How are you feeling Mako chan?" Setsuna said as she fingered a note in her hand.
"It still hurts but not as much as it did before." She winced as she moved her leg a bit to get it back in position.
"Well now that you're transformed it should be all healed within an hour or so. The best thing right now is rest, so you two" She indicated Ranma and the still ceiling clinging Shampoo "should let her rest."
"Yeah sure just a sec." Ranma said as he went over and helped Makoto into a lying position so that she wouldn't jar her still healing leg anymore.
"Alright Romeo out she's got to get some rest." Setsuna said while shooing the two of them out of the room.
Several blocks from the Saotome home two girls were walking along. Upon closer inspection we could see Nabiki and her sister Kasumi. Nabiki was still in her school uniform, which was normal. The thing that had all of the guys married or not running into light posts, mailboxes, energy draining youma, etc was her sister walking beside her.
Imagine this dear reader. Take Kasumi Tendo, ordinary plain Kasumi, overlooked by the men of Nerima (except for Dr. Tofu). Now take off the old house dress and slippers. Put three inch spaghetti strap heels on recently pedicured feet. Moving up to her waist instead of a long skirt it's a short black mini that looks like it was molded directly to her skin in places. At the back you can see faint panty lines. Covering her torso was a skimpy v neck shirt that would have looked just right on Akane or Nabiki (whose closet she stole it from) added to that the fact that she neglected to wear a bra meant some serious shaking. Her face had just the right amount of makeup on to accentuate her features without making her look trashy. Her hair was styled the same as it always was but there was a bit of a wave in it now. Now start her walking. Instead of her normal timid tiptoe walk her hips were swinging back and forth giving her butt maximum sway for minimum effort.
In effect she was dressed to kill and had her target in her sights.
Enroute from her home to the train station and from the station to the Saotome home.
Fatalities: 10 including 1 frag
Injuries: 43
Pissed off Girlfriends: 80
Moving Violations: 1
Kasumi was of course acting oblivious to all of this. It was Nabiki who was keeping score and doubting that if dressed similarly she could do as well.
She watched as her chances with Ranma took a swan dive off a tall cliff onto a pile of sharp rocks, then get eaten by the carrion, then crapped out dried up and blown away like so many other dreams.
Gods she felt cheerful today.
She dodged out of the way of another pervert that had leaned too far over his balcony to try and look down her sister's shirt.
He was still alive +1 to the injury count.
As they rounded the corner on the street that Ranma's house was on they began to get a strange feeling that something was out of place. The houses on this street were huge some were even as large as the Kuno estate. Mrs. Saotome must be loaded to afford to have a place like that.
When they got to the address indicated on her paper she looked at a pair of open gates surrounded by high walls.
"That's weird." Nabiki said as she looked at the open gates.
"What is?" Kasumi responded a little concerned.
"Well usually for these rich types they always have the gates closed to try to discourage robbers, vagrants etc. To leave the gates open like this means that they either have nothing worth while stealing or they aren't afraid of anybody. With Ranma, Shampoo and Cologne there I'd feel sorry for any would be robber, but still it's strange that they would leave the gates open."
"Well no use trying to figure it out let's just go inside." Kasumi said as she grabbed her sister's hand and started dragging her through the gate.
Back in the house Setsuna had dropped Ranma and Shampoo in the living room. She then made some excuse about having other appointments to keep and wandered off somewhere. Ranma alone in the living room with Shampoo tried to think of something to do with her. That thought popped into his head but he quickly dismissed it. Challenging her to a sparring match would just not do.
What did you think he was thinking about? Sex?
Fifteen minutes passed with both of them just staring off into space. Ranma was starting to fidget from sitting in one place for too long and doing nothing. He spied the controllers for the game system. Well a couple rounds of Spine Puller 4 vs Shampoo would work. He jumped up and started flipping switches and pushing buttons to turn everything on. He still hadn't figured out how to use all the remote controls yet. He switched the game in the system grabbed both controllers and sat back down. He passed one of the controllers to Shampoo and they started to play.
Onscreen both characters started to dance and jump around the screen. Combos were thrown out and subsequently blocked by the other player before they counter attacked. A thirty-second timer was too short since by blocking, damage that was done was reduced by half or less. Matches between himself and Shampoo always went two or more minutes. She didn't stand a chance in the real world against him but in this virtual world where the number of moves was limited, the speed of the characters was set, and the only determining factor was how fast you could press the buttons Shampoo was easily a match for her husband.
This virtual sparring went on for another half an hour before the doorbell rang. They continued to play since they had gotten used to Walter answering the door. Little did they know that Walter was otherwise 'occupied'. Ranma had just performed a 36 hit mega combo that had torn Shampoo's character limb from limb. All that was left now was a torso with a head on it. She only had a tiny sliver of a life bar left. The doorbell rang again.
"I'll get it." Ranma said as he put his controller down and rushed off to the door.
Shampoo was moving her torso forward with the intent of biting his ankles off.
Ranma got to the door just as the doorbell rang again. He tossed the door open and looked down on the two people that were standing on the doorstep.
Completely forgetting that he was still in his hybrid form.
Nabiki and Kasumi got the shock of their lives when the door suddenly flew open and they were both left to stare at the hard muscled and furry chest of... something. Looking up they came face to face with a half cat half man. Nabiki briefly thought that the colouring made him look like a cheetah or maybe a jaguar.
Then it spoke.
"Uhh Kasumi, Nabiki, umm what arrre you two doing herrre?"
In Ranma's voice.
This was too much for the sisters and they promptly fainted.
Ranma sighed, suddenly remembering that he was in his hybrid form, and picked up the two of them and slung one over each shoulder and carried them back inside remembering to shut the door. He didn't want any more surprises today. It would be just his luck that Kuno or maybe Ryoga would decide to stop by and try and skewer him for being an evil monster or something like that.
When he got to the living room he saw Shampoo perform a finishing move that ripped out his characters throat. With high pressure blood spurting from his virtual persona the announcer said that Shampoo was the winner.
"Hey no fairrr I want a rrremach!" He said as he sat down and picked up the controller, completely forgetting that he still had Nabiki and Kasumi slung over his shoulders.
Shampoo looked over and noticed that Kasumi and Nabiki were on his shoulders.
"Shampoo want know why nice girl and greedy girl over Airen's shoulders. Is fashion accessory right?" She narrowed her eyes at her husband.
"Whoops!" He said as he stood up suddenly, both girls spilling from his shoulders to tumble into a heap on the couch.
The sudden jarring sensation was enough to wake Nabiki up from her impromptu nap. She blinked her eyes rapidly as she woke up to find herself with her big sisters ass in her face and herself laying on a comfy couch of some kind. Well first things first she had to sit up. To do that she rolled Kasumi off her onto the floor. She sat up and rubbed her eyes to clear them. The first thing she saw was Shampoo sitting on the same couch holding a game controller of some kind.
"You know I just had the strangest dream right now." She laughed a bit. "I dreamed that Ranma was some kind of cat monster." She laughed a little harder. "Stupid or what."
"Airen no monster, were cheetah." Shampoo said.
"Were cheetah? You mean like a were wolf or something like that?"
"Yeah that's prrretty much it." Ranma's voice came from behind her.
Nabiki whipped around and had to look up, way up right into Ranma's fuzzy face. It was strange, now that she thought about it, that she didn't recognize him when he was at the door. His face looked almost the same except it was fuzzy. His ears were elongated and his eyes were slitted. He was still wearing his school uniform though. That's probably what threw her off.
"So uhh Ranma how's it going?" She said as she stared unblinking at his face. His fuzzy furry silky smooth face.
Was it getting hot in here?
"You know same old same old. Go to school, sleep, fight monsterrrs that are trrrying to drrrain people's energy. Same as Nerrrima except the headmaster isn't a nutjob and the students are pretty much norrmal forrr the most parrrt."
"Ahh I see. Umm could you... uhh change back." This was just creepy. She knew she wasn't into bestiality but this was Ranma; someone she wanted in her.
"Uhh yeah I guess." He said as he shifted back to his human form. He quickly used the Velcro to put his clothes back into order. "So what are you two doing here?"
"We just wanted to visit you. See how you were doing."
"Ohh Ranma. Yes touch me there." Kasumi moaned in her sleep pretty much ruining any chance of Nabiki being believed.
About this time Kasumi's faculties were coming back online. The first thing that she noticed was that she was lying face down on a nice wood floor... with her ass sticking straight up in the air. Quickly rolling over she said the first thing that came to her mind.
"Oh My. I had the strangest dream."
She sat up and looked over to where Ranma was staring at her.
"Hello Ranma kun. Would you believe that I thought I saw a cat man at the door. How silly of me." She said as she put her hand to her cheek, 'unintentially' jiggling her breasts in the process.
Shampoo in the words of Queen Victoria 'was not amused'.
Just then Makoto still in her hybrid form came around the corner. She had a noticeable limp but it wasn't as bad as it was before.
"What's all the racket down here?" She said as she fully stepped into the room.
"Ahhhhh! CAT!" Ranma screamed as he leapt up towards the ceiling.
Kasumi didn't bother looking where Ranma had gone to. He'd done the same thing before when a cat was around. All of her attention was on the newcomer in front of her. Tall, big breasts, tail, ears, fuzzy. It took all of her willpower not to faint again.
"You wouldn't happen to be Makoto would you?" Nabiki asked feeling a little intimidated. Ok she was very intimidated. Makoto was about one to one and a half feet taller than she was and looked like she could rip through a tank. (She actually could do that)
"Yes I am. It seems that you know me but I don't know who you are."
"They arrre Nabiki and Kasumi." Ranma said as he, now in his hybrid form, dropped from the ceiling beside her.
Kasumi was... well stupefied. Here was the guy she'd been lusting over for over a year and he turns out to be a half cat guy monster.
Kasumi Tendo was a known cat lover. She often brought strays home but had to stop that after they found out that Ranma was afraid of cats. Speaking of which.
"Ranma why are you a cat now?"
What followed was a comprehensive explanation of lycanthropy, the were cheetah's clan history, and most of the events that had transpired durring the few days excluding of course all sailor scout activity but not, much to Ranma's embarrassment, their sexual activity. Shampoo particularly enjoyed giving the Tendo sisters a play by play of their one night time romp. He wondered why she was going into detail with the Tendos and not with Makoto's friends.
Ahh poor innocent Ranma. Little did he know that they were marking him as their territory to other females.
It was so much easier being a guy.
When the explanations were done and the Tendo sisters were thoroughly embarrassed and more than a little frightened. When Ranma's stomach growled Nabiki must have jumped six feet in the air.
"Don't do that!" Nabiki yelled.
"Ahh sorrrry I haven't eaten yet." Ranma said sheepishly as he grinned (baring his fangs) and scratched the back of his head just like he always did.
"Don't you have servants or something to cook for you?" Nabiki asked a little confused.
"Not rrreally it's just Walterrr and he just cleans. Mom loves cooking so she just usually does it. Lately Makoto, Shampoo and sometimes Cologne have helped out."
"So where is your mother?" Kasumi asked.
"Ahh I think she's getting rrreaquainted with the old man." Ranma said.
"Call me queen," followed by "Yes mistress!" could be heard faintly from somewhere below them.
Both Kasumi and Nabiki were shocked by this.
"You mean your father was stupid enough to come here?!" Nabiki asked. She knew Genma was dumb but this was beyond stupid.
"Nah he just came to school and tried to get me to go back and marry Akane. He backhanded Makoto then broke her leg."
They looked at Makoto.
"I'm almost healed. It was just a simple fracture." She smiled showings lots of fang. She then popped out her claws. "Gods do I love this. Increased healing, strength, senses and above all speed." She started cackling madly.
"Yeah well I guess mom's going to be busy for a while." There was a girlish scream in the background. "So I guess we've got to make supper."
"I'll help!" This from an enthusiastic Kasumi.
"You no know how to cook for cats. They is very fickle."
"Yeah right this is Ranma even if he's a cat now he's still a garbage disposal." Nabiki commented.
"Not quite Nabiki. Cats can be quite fickle sometimes." She reached into her own personal stuff space and pulled out a green sprig of something. "For instance all cats like catnip." She smiled as she wiggled it in front of Ranma's face.
Once he got a whiff of it he couldn't control himself. He took a small nip of one of the leaves. His eyes unfocused and his pupils dilated. He grabbed the sprig from Kasumi's hands and fell backwards changing into his full cat mode. He dangled the sprig in front of his face and he took little nips now and then while kicking his feet in the air.
"See he's happy right now." Kasumi smiled.
"He's stoned sis," Nabiki responded flatly. The fact that Ranma was not human firmly hammered into her head.
"Happy."
"I would appreciate it if you would refrain from getting my boyfriend stoned." Makoto said as she ripped the sprig of catnip out of Ranma's paws.
Once she caught a whiff of that wonderful aroma she couldn't help herself she just had to try it even though she knew it was bad for her. She brought it to her mouth and was about to take a bite when her co-wife came out of nowhere and snatched it out of her hand. She used her limited ki control to burn it.
"No getting Airens drugged." Shampoo said.
Everybody looked back to where Ranma was. He had wormed his way out of his clothes and was busy licking himself clean. He was also purring up a storm. When he started cleaning his groin Nabiki just had to say something.
"You know that's just disturbing in a strangely auto-erotic way."
Both Shampoo and Makoto were hanging their heads. They had thought that they had broken him of that habit.
"All right we need to get some food ready. Who's going to watch Ranma so that he doesn't hurt himself or others." Makoto said.
"I'll do it!" Kasumi piped up.
"Actually Tendo-san Ranma's been raving about your cooking. I want to see just how good you are." Makoto said as she picked up the smaller woman and tossed her over her shoulder and carried her out of the room talking all the while.
"I'll stay and watch Ranma." Nabiki said as she sat back in the couch.
"Shampoo no trust. You and sister try to steal Airen. Shampoo not that stupid not to see." She said as she leveled a glare at Nabiki.
Nabiki let out a huge sigh.
"Yeah that was the original plan, you know come here and see if he's got enough in him for another girl." She looked at Ranma who was still cleaning himself. "I'm pretty used to weird stuff happening around him, I mean a guy turning into a girl was weird enough but not this..." He was really getting that clean. If she didn't know better she would have thought that he was really enjoying it.
"So you no chase Airen?" Shampoo asked with a bit of hope. It was getting to be a full time job beating off the other girls that wanted a piece of her husband.
Nabiki closed her eyes for a few minutes to really think about it. One he was not human. She'd gotten over the fact that he turned into a girl a while ago. It'd be a while before she would get over the fact that he also turned into a large feline as well. Two he was already 'married' to one girl and affianced to another. Well in for a penny in for a pound. Three he probably hated her because of all of the nasty things she's done to him. Add to that the fact that Kasumi would be her main rival. This was something that would be difficult if not impossible to overcome. She was always up for a challenge. Four Shampoo was standing in front of her with a rather largish sword drawn and pointed at her.... She'd have to wish her sister luck.
"No I'll back off." She said with the sound of a dream dying, or was that Genma?
Ranma had finished cleaning himself and was rubbing himself against Shampoo. It was only her warriors training that let her keep her feet but she was still wobbling a bit. She put the sword away and pushed the amorous kitty towards Nabiki.
"Watch him. I go school big sister in nature of things."
Shampoo left the room. Ranma tried to follow but Nabiki held him back. She wasn't sure why he let her hold him back. Maybe he just wanted to be petted, to be loved and held. To hold her as a man holds a woman. Yes her dream was starting to come back to life! Soon he would drop the other girls and only love her, Nabiki Tendo!
Or he just wanted to hump her leg like a dog.
It took quite some doing but eventually the girls were able to make something coherent in the way of food. Makoto was still surprised that Kasumi was able to cook springbuck. Since Ranma was still high on something just a bit stronger than life they decided to eat outside on the patio. Ranma was eating like an animal which is to say that he was eating just a bit neater than he normally did. Even Kasumi was smart enough not to try and stick her hand anywhere near his reach or risk it being bitten off.
When they had finished they were sitting around drinking their tea. Ranma had wandered off and found himself a warm spot to sleep. Nabiki was opening her mouth to say something when a loud scream was heard.
Everybody turned to look at where it came from when Walter in his hybrid form came rushing around the corner. His clothing was torn in several places and he looked like he'd just run a couple of marathons. About two or so meters behind him were a couple of older women wearing chinese silk style dresses waiving swords and yelling something about 'Airen'. As one the assembled group minus Ranma turned to look at Shampoo.
Shampoo blinked as she realized everyone was looking at her.
"They is Nair and Vidal. Two older womens from village. They is too too good to be beaten by normal mens. No know why they here," she said as she crossed her arms under her breasts. "Shampoo just happy that they finally find Airen, just as long as they keep hands off Shampoo's Airens."
Ranma had been lazily following the action from his spot on the stone fence. Deciding to join in the fun he went to turn the amazon's game of tag into tackle football.
Walter went down fairly hard. He'd be ok if not for the Amazons jumping on top and kissing him. First Vidal then Nair. Makoto had turned on the afterburners as soon as she saw Ranma move and yanked him out of the fray before he accidentally scratched or bit anybody, however it was too late for Walter. Shampoo was cheering her sisters from the patio while Walter was laying on the ground swearing bloody vengeance against old dried up mummies.
Nabiki and Kasumi wisely chose this moment to make their exit. They said goodbye to Ranma even though he was only semi coherent.
As they were walking back to the train station they were accosted by a woman in a trench coat and fedora.
"Good evening ladies." The mysterious woman said.
"What do you want?" Nabiki asked, a little suspicious. The woman moved fluidly meaning that she'd been trained in some kind of martial art.
"Oh nothing more than to give you these." She held out two pen like objects.
The pen she held out to Kasumi was red with orange swirls in it. The top had an almost rusty iron appearance. It looked like somebody had taken a sledgehammer to a stylized "H".
The pen she held out to Nabiki was black with yellow radioactive symbols on it. The top looked like it was made of solid gold. (It was pyrite) The symbol was a P however it looked like it had an eye and a smiling mouth in the open part.
Both pens had a yellow post it note with a phrase on it.
"Enjoy, and remember that not all hero's start out heroic." She said as she stepped through a portal and disappeared.
Both Nabiki and Kasumi looked at their 'gifts'.
"Maybe I could pawn it for something," Nabiki said as she tossed it over her shoulder. It disappeared as soon as she let go of it.
"Nabiki we really shouldn't be just throwing them out after that nice woman went through so much effort to give them to us," Kasumi said as she put hers into her own personal space.
"Yeah well that nice lady just disappeared into a magical portal if you didn't notice. For once I'm going to take a lesson from Ranma. Magic is nothing but trouble and I don't want anything to do with it."
"I always did want to be a magical girl," Kasumi said as she started walking towards the train station again.
"Not me. The hours are murder and the pay sucks. If you ask me being a magical girl is nothing but trouble that I can do without," Nabiki responded working over the thought of being a magical girl. If those sticks really were magical girl transformation devices...
"Great all I need now is some stupid talking animal sidekick and I'm all set." She shuddered at the thought. "Great I'm giving myself cavities just thinking about it.
Setsuna laughed as she checked the scene on the gates of time. The dark side was always more fun to play than the light side. Soon she would be all the way over to the dark then the fun would really begin. Why just now she'd helped a little ewok across the street and into a FURNACE.
She put down the Xbox controller and took a sip of her tea. This Star wars Knights of the Old Republic game was hilariously fun.
Authors Notes:
Sorry about the long wait, it's been nuts at my workplace so I have had absolutely no time to write anything.
A big thanks to my prereaders Mark the Tax Zombie, Axekeeper, and Lord Raa.
Without their help this would sound like a yoda convention.
Any comments etc send to
nealharris@otakumail.com
The following is an original creation using characters and situations that are owned by large animation firms that will sue me blind if I don't put in this disclaimer that Ranma, Sailor Moon, and Gold Diggers are owned by other people.
Chapter 6: Tea with Cthulu
The next morning Ranma woke up framed by a purring Makoto and Shampoo. Makoto had taken to sleeping in her hybrid form. She said that it felt natural to her even though she'd only had a few days to get used to it. Since Makoto was in her hybrid form he had to sleep in his hybrid form as well. That they didn't have sex last night something that Ranma was very grateful for. He didn't know if he could take too many of those 'sparring' sessions before he keeled over. Looking to his right then to the left, he wondered how such a thing could have happened that he would go from three fiancées down to two. Add to that the fact that Makoto had only known him for a couple of days and she had already jumped in the sack with him and done a fair bit of horizontal tangoing. Shampoo he could understand, she'd known him longer and even back in Nerima she'd tried jumping him several times.
Looking at his clock on the nightstand he noted that it was time to get up. This proved to be more difficult than he first suspected as both Shampoo and Makoto were so intertwined with him that every time he tried to get free he had to move an arm or a leg that was preventing him from moving. Problem was that every time he disentangled himself from one girl and went to work on the other, the girl that he had gotten free of would wrap herself around him again. It seemed to be a loosing battle until his mother popped her head into his room. She was also in her hybrid form.
"Aren't you three up yet?" She said with a smile.
"Umm I can't seem to get frrree." Ranma said sheepishly trying to either spontaneously combust or turn invisible.
"Here let me give you a hand." She said as she walked over to the large bay windows that were in his room. She threw the windows open and took a huge breath of air.
"It seems like it's going to be a wonderful day." She commented to no one in particular as she walked over to the side of the bed opposite of the window.
"Umm mom what arrre you doing." Ranma said nervously.
"Hmm." She said with a smile as she grabbed the edge of the bed sheets with both her hands.
"Mommy!" Ranma squeaked as he all of a sudden figured out just how they were going to be woken up.
"All hands on deck!" She shouted as she flipped the sheet and all of the occupants out the window.
As soon as they were out the window Shampoo was wide awake. Fifteen years of training allowed her body to automatically wake up and right herself when she suddenly attained flight. For a while it was her great grandmother's favorite way of waking her up in the morning when she started going through puberty and was difficult to wake up. She looked down to see where she was going to land.
Water
Why did it always have to be water?
For Ranma the story was pretty much the same. His old man used to toss him out of the Tendo's guest room on a daily basis for training. Unlucky for him he had 110 kilos of Makoto to keep safe. He quickly pulled her still sleeping form from his side into his arms. A quick look to the side confirmed that Shampoo didn't need saving. He looked down at his landing zone.
Water.
The story of his life.
Splashdown.
The pool was surprisingly deep for its size. Since Ranma and Makoto combined were quite heavy they went right to the bottom. Ranma of course changed into a girl as soon as he hit the water. Shampoo's night clothes were floating on top of the water with an irritated wet cat treading water beside them. The curse really sucked sometimes.
There was a sudden waterspout as two wet female were cheetahs burst out of the pool. Ranma quickly put the now sputtering Makoto on her side so that she could spit up the water that she inhaled. His mother was standing at the window looking down at her now female son. She was grinning like a mad woman. Because of her recent stunt he was seriously considering the funny farm for his old lady. Well no not a farm she'd tend to eat the other animals. Maybe a funny zoo.
"What the hell werrre you thinking Makoto could have drrrowned!" He shouted up at his crazy mother.
"I don't know what you're talking about son. Unless it's silver or magic it can't kill us! Now get dried off breakfast is ready."
Sure enough as soon as she turned away from the window he felt a large hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw that, other than looking like a drowned cat, Makoto was just fine. Looking over to the pool he saw Shampoo in her cat form pulling her soaked clothes out of the pool.
"You ok Shampoo?" Makoto asked.
She was answered by a sneeze and a pitiful meow from the small cat.
"I guess we'd better get cleaned up." Ranma said as he scooped Shampoo into her arms and she proceeded to the furo area.
After they had finished cleaning up and switching back to their proper species/gender, they went to get dressed. Ranma noted that a few of his new uniforms had the Velcro tear zones in them. He wondered if any of his normal clothes had been altered yet.
Breakfast that morning was an interesting affair. Cologne looked much better than she did yesterday, which basically meant that she merely had the shadow of death hovering over her instead of looking like death warmed over. The shadow waved at them then walked off. Her hair was dyed a dark blue, a couple of shades darker than when she was younger. The piercings were all gone now (well the ones people could see as she was still kind of partial to the nipple ring.) She still wore the Sailor Moon baby doll T-shirt. Makoto decided that after school today she'd try to find the elder a Sailor Jupiter T-shirt or get one made. If Ranma, Shampoo and herself got married they'd be family, in a weird twisted sort of way.
Nodoka who had switched back to her human form looked at the clock.
"Don't you think it's time you got going to school?" She asked.
Her response was three empty seats.
"And don't you think you should be getting to work yourself?"
"Oh I don't work today. I took the day off. Too many important things to do." She responded calmly taking a sip of her tea.
"Like?"
"Beauty spa. I've got to keep my young looks somehow."
"Maybe I should join you, I'm not feeling as young as I used to you know." Cologne said flipping her hair back.
The shadow of death walked past again playing a gameboy. It stopped to look at the elder. It checked its watch then went back to playing its game.
Nodoka wisely chose to not make any comments about the fact that a belt sander would not be able to sand out all the wrinkles in her skin. She also was barely able to resist the urge to say that there was not enough mud on the planet to fix her up.
Many people think that Ranma got his foot in mouth disease from his father, when in reality it was his mother who was the parent with the real affliction. It was just that she'd learned to hold her tongue with time and much practice.
The walk to school was pretty uneventful. There were no monsters jumping out of the woodwork to try and steal peoples, heart crystals, heart sparkles, energy, or underwear. As usual Ranma was framed by his girlfriend and wife. Normally having a girlfriend and a wife at the same time is called adultery, but this is Ranma so having a wife that was also cheating on him with his girlfriend was pretty much par for the course.
When they got to school they went up to their homeroom. Ami was sitting there reading a book as usual. She looked up when they came into the classroom and waved them over.
"I see you guys had a good nights rest last night." She said with a hint of a smile on her face.
Ranma and Makoto turned blood red with embarrassment. Shampoo of course failed to catch the innuendo.
"We just slept together!" Ranma shouted.
All of the students in the class turned as one and stared at Ranma. They boys were fuming that he got to nail two hot chicks like Makoto and Shampoo. The girls were fuming because he nailed Shampoo and Makoto and not them. Ranma of course just wished that he could turn invisible. Wait a sec he could turn invisible.
"Goshin Dai Ryuu Sei Fu."
When he vanished the entire class including Makoto gasped in shock. The only one who wasn't surprised was Shampoo since she'd seen this little trick before. The students who were used to magical warriors from a long dead kingdom running around turned back to something much more important. Their gazes turned towards Shampoo and Makoto.
Makoto had enough of this. "We just slept in the same bed. Nothing happened just sleep."
"Until crazy mother throw into pool."
"You had sex in the pool?" One brave student said.
"No have sex in pool." It could be done but it would be quite difficult especially since she didn't feel like trying to do it all as cats.
She'd have to suggest that for next time.
With that most of the students went back to what they were doing before. Only a few of the students were paying any attention to the group.
The door to the classroom flew open and Usagi rushed in just ahead of Minako. She tripped over her own feet and achieved flight for a few seconds before she was grabbed out of the air, floated over and set in her seat. She looked around but couldn't see anybody near her.
"Thanks." She said to her unknown helper.
There was no response since Ranma had moved back over to be beside Makoto.
A few seconds later the Setsuna came into the room. Students scrambled to their seats. She started the roll call.
"Saotome Ranma?" She called out. Even without her time sense she knew that he wasn't there because he wasn't in his seat.
"Here!" His disembodied voice called out.
"What?"
"I'm right here." He said again, this time dropping the technique and fading into view again.
Setsuna was shocked at his casual display of the Saotome forbidden techniques. She was aware that he knew them but to see him using them was something altogether different. She wondered if he'd be willing to teach the Umi sen Ken to the scouts as the main purpose of it was defense and stealth. This was an area that the scouts sorely lacked in especially Usagi with her 'hey we're here to kick your ass; now lay down and die' speeches.
"Alright you hosers we've got lots of work to do today so let's get to it, eh."
She really shouldn't have watched Strange Brew last night.
The rest of the day went pretty much the same as the previous day except there were no monsters rampaging this time. Setsuna and the other teachers tried to shove information into the youngsters heads and they tried to resist as much as possible. Somehow Shampoo and Ranma only got sent into the hall once for sleeping in class.
At lunch the entire group including Setsuna gathered around a tree to eat. Setsuna was the first to speak up.
"Alright I've got some videos for sale here." She announced to the gathered group. "Only 5000 yen each."
"And just why would we want a porn video of you and Walter?" Makoto asked.
"Why Mako-chan this is of YOUR first romp on the wild side. Hell if I could sell this to the media I'd make a fortune! It's got everything in it.
Male/Female Male/Female/Female Female/Female/Female Male/Female/Sort of Bestiality Male Beast/Female/Female Beast
Hell the only thing you three didn't do was all cats, but they can watch that kind of stuff on the nature channel."
"I'll buy one!" This was from Minako.
"I'll take one as well!" Ami
"I'll take two!" Usagi said. She would give the second to Rei.
"Shampoo as well! Wait Shampoo there she no need copy!" Even though she was secure with her sexuality didn't mean that she was willing to show off that sexuality to her sort of friends/allies.
"Shampoo kill!" She yelled as she pulled a buster sword from somewhere. Nobody wanted to know exactly where she was hiding a sword bigger than herself on her person.
"Now wait a minute Shampoo you promised you wouldn't kill her." Usagi stated calmly.
"Shampoo forgot sorry." She said lowering the buster sword to the ground.
"Shampoo hurt!" She yelled as she took a 'non lethal' swipe at the seated Setsuna.
Setsuna rolled to the side to dodge the swipe. She then back flipped to her feet to avoid the follow up swipe and then took off running with an irate Shampoo hot on her heels.
"You know there were days that I wanted to do that." Usagi said as she took a bite of her food.
There was some head nodding from the other three girls, as they too had thought of doing something evil to the Senshi of Pluto because of her vague half answers and annoyingly mysterious ways.
"Yeah but I don't think I could swing that buster sword unless I was transformed." Ami commented watching Shampoo and Setsuna rush past again. Shampoo was swinging the large happy instrument of death like it was a normal broadsword.
Several males, that were thinking of asking Shampoo out even though she was with Ranma, decided to back off when they saw her cut through the boundary wall with one swipe then kept going.
"Just how strong is she anyway?" Usagi said as she and Ranma unconsciously started on Setsuna's lunch.
"She's pretty strong. Until recently her favorite way of getting into a place was through the wall." Ranma said as he munched on a bit of tuna. He'd have to ask Setsuna to share the recipe with Makoto.
"You mean she used to break down walls for fun?" Makoto said while getting into the action of eating Setsuna's lunch. Yummy tuna!
"Yeah but the old ghoul got her out of doing that quickly since all of the bills for the damage came to the cat cafe." Ranma said grabbing a bit more tuna. He'd have to remember to get some tuna after school today.
Shampoo ran past the group again yelling not death threats towards Setsuna. As for Setsuna she was not actually hurt per se however she was down a few articles of clothing. Currently she was running around in just her blouse and panties. Upon closer inspection one could see the image of Tuxedo mask on the back of her panties.
"Hey wait a minute!" Usagi screamed.
Shampoo was shocked when Usagi grabbed her sword from her hand then shoved her to the side. Shampoo rolled with the hit and watched as Usagi started chasing Setsuna around.
"Come back here you whore!"
Of course since Usagi wasn't anywhere near as strong as Shampoo she wasn't able to swing the sword or even lift it. In her mad-on state all she was able to do was drag the sword on the ground. Setsuna was able to get away and teleport back to her house for a quick change of clothes then back to school.
"Well that was interesting." Setsuna said as she sat back down in her seat. Her new business suit looked perfect, almost exactly the same as the one that was destroyed by Shampoo.
"Um Setsuna you do know that the shadow of death is hanging over your shoulder." Minako pointed out helpfully.
Setsuna looked over her shoulder and came face to crotch with a nondescript figure in a long black hooded cloak holding a scythe. The figure raised its arm revealing a gleaming white bony hand from inside the sleeve. The figure pointed one of its bony fingers directly at Setsuna.
"Oh him. That's just Jimmy the grim spectre of death." She looked him in the 'face' and said. "No you can not take my life." Jimmy pointed at Ranma. "No you can't have him either." He made some hand gestures. "Yeah sure I'm still up for poker this Saturday. You bringing the beer?" She said. He responded by a few more gestures. "What do you mean it's my turn?! I brought the last two times!" Death jiggled its hand and scythe a bit. "Yes I did just get laid recently although that's none of your business." Ranma edged closer to Makoto when she said this. The figure made a couple more gestures before walking away. A small cat that went to rub up against its legs dropped dead.
"Umm Setsuna do we really want to know why death is after you?" Minako asked.
"Oh him. Every twenty years or so he drops by and asks if he can take my soul to the afterlife. Of course since I've still got things to do I always say no." She reached over for her lunch. It was... lighter than she remembered it to be. "My lunch!" She yelled looking directly at Ranma when she said this.
"Oh sure your lunch gets eaten and automatically you blame Ranma." He said while rolling his eyes.
"You've got tuna breath kitty." She responded, with a half lidded expression.
Ranma blushed at being caught.
"Ranma you really shouldn't eat other people's lunches you know." Makoto admonished him.
"You're calling the kettle black, fuzzy." Setsuna said turning her gaze on Makoto. "You still have some tuna on your chin."
Makoto's hand immediately went to her chin to wipe away the imaginary piece of tuna. She blushed and turned away knowing that she'd just been busted.
Of course by this time Shampoo and Usagi had gotten tired of trying to find the runaway teacher and had returned to the tree to see Setsuna calmly sitting with the others talking with them. Shampoo stomped up to Setsuna. Before she could make her proclamation Setsuna beat her to the punch. She held up a slip of paper in her left hand. It had the word detention on it in nice big red letters.
"I expect to see you after school in the detention room."
"Shampoo still hurt." She said while raising her buster sword.
"You'll have detention till the end of the school year if you do."
The war to hurt Pervert senshi vs detention for a year that was going on in Shampoo's head was raging full on when Makoto appeared beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder. A simple shake of her co-wife's head was all it took to tip the scales in favor of letting the horny old woman go.
"Shampoo stand down." Of course if Sailor Amalthea decided to get into the action and accidentally pelt Pluto with coins... well as Uranus proved 'accidents' do happen.
Just as Usagi was going to get into the action the bell rung signaling that classes were going to start soon. Setsuna just stood up and brushed the grass off of her dress.
"Alright back to class everybody." She said cheerfully as if she wasn't in mortal danger just a few minutes prior.
The rest of the group just sat there for a few minutes after she left just staring at where she walked off to.
Then the late bell rung and all of them grabbed their stuff and dashed off to class.
Up in the tree where nobody could see him, Genma was hiding using most of his stealth techniques to stay hidden and undetected. He knew that the little girls would never notice him; however the boy or his gaijin slut girlfriend of his would be able to spot him almost instantly if he slacked off in his techniques for only a second. He was certain of it now, his son had to be taken away from his mother and these weak girls and back to his rightful fiancée or else he would get soft. With his mind made up he sat back in the tree and waited for classes to let out.
None of them made it back to class in time and as such they all had to stand in the hall with late signs. Makoto and Ranma also had hand drawn signs. Something about eating the teachers lunch. Shampoo and Usagi had signs about trying to kill the teacher. The students passing those two in the hall stayed on the opposite side of the hallway to stay away from the crazy girls. Once they were let back into the room class progressed as normal except for sporadic speculation on Setsuna's underwear choices by some of the more perverted members of the class.
One particularly loud and obnoxious pervert faded from existence and was replaced by a new student.
Nobody noticed.
When classes finally ended for the day the girls went to exchange their school shoes for their outside shoes. In Usagi's footlocker she found two tapes, Ami one and Minako one. They quickly shoved the incriminating evidence into their school bags lest Makoto or Shampoo catch them.
When they had all made it outside they saw Ranma confronting a portly man, with a white gi and a white handkerchief on his head, under the same tree that they had lunch under that day. Since none of them had ever met Genma Saotome they had no idea the powder keg that was about to go off.
"Foolish boy! To think all I've done for you and you go and betray me like this! Sleeping with those two whores instead of your rightful fiancée! It shames me to be your father." He started putting on the waterworks, Ranma wasn't affected.
"Yeah right, you mean all the things you've done to me! And don't call them whores! They've been nice to me since I got here. They are my friends and I won't have you badmouthing them." He yelled back.
"You mean they've been blowing you every night!" Fatass shot back.
"Added benefit!"
"Enough! You will come back and marry Akane and carry on the Anything Goes school like you were supposed to!" He yelled back swinging his arm to the side in what he hoped would be an intimidating gesture.
Unfortunately Makoto, who had been attracted to the disturbance, was in the space that his hand passed through. She was hit fairly hard and thrown back a few feet.
"Makoto!" Ranma yelled trying to rush to her side. He was yanked back and tossed to the ground by his father.
"Stupid boy! Why should you care about her when you've got a loving fiancée back at the Tendo's!" Genma was getting frustrated by now. His son was showing that stubborn streak of his wife's that was the main reason why he and Akane hadn't been married within a week. (It didn't have anything to do with the fact that she was constantly hitting him with large blunt objects. Noooo head trauma couldn't be the reason he refused to marry her.)
Genma was stupid. Come on we all know this. However he was also ignorant as well. He just assumed that Makoto was below his level of skill so he could push her around with immunity. This for the most part was true however for one minor detail.
Nobody hits Sailor Jupiter without Sailor Jupiter hitting back.
When the fat man had gone back to yelling at Ranma about how he should marry an 'Akane' she figured that this thing in front of her was Ranma's father. She tried sneaking up behind him to kick him in the nads through his legs. Since this was a favorite tactic of his to use on Ranma when he hit puberty he snapped his legs shut trapping her foot before it could sack him.
This minor distraction was all Ranma needed as he flew into action. He opened up with a shot to the gut which was deflected. Genma then tried jumping over his son to take him out from behind. Makoto's foot was still caught between his legs and threw him slightly off balance. He righted himself by springing off of Makoto's still extended foot breaking her leg in the process. She went down on the ground screaming, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Are you all right citizen?" Came a voice from beside her.
Working through the pain Makoto looked at Sailor Moon who was kneeling next to her. She saw Mercury and Venus waiting in the wings.
"That evil man broke my leg and now he's trying to hurt my fiancé." She choked back a sob. Ranma wasn't her fiancé yet but hey this was acting for the crowds that had gathered to watch the fight.
Sailor Moon stood up and faced where Genma and Ranma were going at it. Ranma had yet to bring out his heavy moves as he wanted the old man to get a bit more punishment before he took him down.
"Halt evildoer! For hurting innocent girls that are trying to protect their hunky fiancé I, Sailor Moon, will punish you in the name of Love and Justice!"
Genma took one look at the newest 'threat' and doubled over in laughter. Ranma of course capitalized on the old man's inattention by sacking him in the jimmy.
"He's all yours girls." He said as he ran over to where Makoto was on the ground crying and holding her leg.
"Alright Sailor Scouts Transform and Roll out!" Sailor Moon shouted.
"We're not Autobots, idiot!" Venus shouted.
"That and we're already transformed," Mercury helpfully pointed out.
"You're always trying to ruin my fun," she said before she turned back to where Genma was recovered and was stalking towards his son.
"Let's get em!" Venus shouted before she loosed a crescent beam at the fat man.
Genma dodged the little beams of light but couldn't quite dodge the ice shards. Screw not hitting girls it was time to get down to business.
While the girls were fighting with Genma panda Ranma was looking over Makoto's leg. There was already a large purple bruise forming in the area of the break. He knelt next to her and looked her in the eyes. She was still crying a bit.
"Ok I've got to look at this. I'll try to be as careful as possible." He waited for her to nod before he pressed three pressure points on her upper leg to deaden the pain just like Tofu did when his leg was broken by Akane.
He started out by probing the area around the break looking for any bone fragments and to determine if it was a compound or simple fracture. Since there was no bone sticking out of her skin he ruled out a major fracture. Further investigation led him to believe that it was just a simple fracture but that she still shouldn't walk on it. He needed a splint.
"Not the face not the face!"
Apparently the old man was learning that these little girls were definitely not weak.
He found some stakes that were being used for a survey and pulled them out. They were made of rough wood but they were straight and strong enough to immobilize her leg. He made sure to put the orange markers in the holes so that the surveyors wouldn't have to resurvey the entire area. When he had what he needed he dashed back to where Makoto was on the ground. She was no longer crying but he could see that she was still in pain. He looked around but couldn't find anything to secure the splint with. He let out a huge sigh as he was about to tear up his shirt. He stopped and ran over to where his old man was still being worked over by the scouts.
When he saw them he wished that he'd paid more attention to the fight. He knew that when they were transformed they were much faster and stronger than a normal person; however that transformation didn't give them increased skills. The only one of the three that had any formal training was Minako, and she was only a green belt at best in Shotokan. Their opponent was just as strong as any one of them and almost as fast, but five times as sneaky. Also sometime during the fight the old man had gotten hit with cold water and was a panda now. This slowed him up a bit but made him twice as strong as before.
To make a long story short the scouts were getting trashed.
Usagi was starting to rethink attacking the man. Unlike all of their old enemies this one was fast enough and smart enough to actually dodge their attacks and the few times they tried to close in and overpower him he would somehow trick them and then attack. She still couldn't believe that she'd fallen for the 'hey look there's 500 yen' or the 'your shoelace is untied.' She was seriously considering calling the others to help when Ranma re-engaged his father.
"Scouts fall back!" Usagi yelled.
Mercury and Venus jumped back as Ranma took on his father. Mercury was limping from where Genma had kicked her in the thigh and Venus had a nasty shiner from her encounter with the martial arts master.
Immediately the crowd closed in on the injured scouts. Three chairs were set up and the three scouts were sat down on the chairs. Two female masseurs per scout started working on their shoulders and legs while a personal trainer was screaming something about Rocky and to keep their guard up. Cold gatorade was squirted into their mouths and somebody shoved mouth guards in their mouths.
"Get out there and smash that monster!" The trainers yelled.
When the crowd turned back to where the panda monster was they found that it was beaten unconscious on the ground and that the boy that had held it off for the scouts to recover was helping the girl that was hurt by the panda monster.
The trainers held out their hands and the girls spit the mouth guards into their hands. The trainers then wandered off with the rest of the crowd muttering about 'contenders'.
Sighing Usagi got off the chair which was quickly snatched out from under her. Save the world countless times and they love you for it. Fuck up once and they're all over you. She just hoped Makoto would be ok.
When she got over to where Makoto was she noticed that Ranma had immobilized the leg with the wood stakes and the belt from the fat guy's gi. Makoto didn't look to be in too much pain at the moment, but that scream that she let out when her leg was broken was not something that could be dismissed as a simple injury.
"How is she?" Moon asked Ranma.
"Her leg's broken. It's just a simple fracture nothing serious. It'll take a couple of weeks to heal though."
"A Senshi has magical healing." Usagi commented absentmindedly. "If she was a senshi she'd be good as new in a couple of days. If we had Saturn here she could fix her in a couple of minutes."
"But she's not a Senshi and I don't see Saturn here," Ranma said trying to cover for Makoto. "I'm going to take her home could you get Venus to drag the fat panda and maybe get a message to Shampoo about what happened."
"Uhh sure. It is a leader's job to delegate tasks." She smiled a bit at this. "Venus front and center now!"
Minako came wandering up to where Usagi and Makoto were.
"What the hell is your problem?" She asked a bit miffed that Usagi was speaking to her like she was some kind of soldier.
"I want you to escort this nice couple back to their house, and you are to bring the panda along for punishment."
"So let me get this straight. You want me to drag his carcass all the way across town? Why me why don't you do it?"
"Because I'm the leader. I'm supposed to delegate responsibility." Usagi said smugly.
"Always thought I was in charge," Minako muttered as she walked over to where Genma was currently taking a dirt nap.
"Stupid fucking panda.... extinct... diet."
She picked him up off the ground and was about to throw him over her shoulder but stopped. She got an evil glint in her eye as she dropped him on his head and grabbed his hind leg.
"All right let's get going now." She called cheerfully over her shoulder.
Ranma picked up Makoto as gently as he could as to not aggravate her injury more than necessary. She still winced as her leg was jarred. He looked down at her waiting for a signal to proceed. She gave a small nod and they were off. Venus trailed them dragging the panda behind her. Of course her path was a little more erratic than Ranma's and not nearly as gentle. During the trip back to Mrs. Saotome's house she made a point to go over 10 rocks, 3 broken bottles, 20 curbs, and through 4 stinging bushes with lots of thorns and poisoness needles.
When they were out of sight Usagi turned to Ami.
"All right Mercury if you could go inform Ms. Shampoo that her fiancée's are heading home and that they were in a minor altercation with a wild panda." Even though the panda was really Ranma's father and the fact that she didn't know the meaning of the word altercation.
"Why don't you do it?" Mercury didn't want to be anywhere near Shampoo when she found out that Makoto was hurt. That and her leg was really starting to kill her.
"I'm the leader that's why." Usagi said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Then you lead yourself. I'm going home." And with that she limped off.
Usagi was left alone in the schoolyard. With a sigh she trudged off to tell Shampoo that Makoto had been hurt. She just hoped that Setsuna would be understanding when Shampoo would race out of the room.
When Ranma, Makoto, Venus and the still unconscious panda made it through the gates of the house Venus dropped the panda and took a break. Stupid heavy panda. Hearing a car pulling into the gate everybody moved to the side to let it through. Venus conveniently forgot the panda in the middle of the road.
Love and Justice except when she had to drag his fat ass all the way from school, then it was Hate and Revenge all the way.
The car pulled into the driveway and stopped short of running over the panda much to Venus' chagrin. Nodoka got out of the drivers side and Cologne got out of the passengers. Both of them saw a beaten panda on the ground.
"Well look what the cat dragged in." Cologne said.
Everybody stared at her.
"Figuratively of course."
"Son I assume this is your father." She said indicating the panda.
"Uhh yeah that's pops, he showed up at school yelling about how I should go marry Akane and dump Shampoo and Makoto." Ranma replied.
"I assume that during the fight your leg was injured child." Cologne said pointing at the splint.
"Yeah he jumped off my leg and broke it." Makoto sniffled.
"That is just like your father." Nodoka said as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Why don't you take Makoto into the house." She suggested.
"'K mom." He said walking off towards the front door.
"And don't forget to transform I'll be walking around in hybrid form."
Whether he heard her or not Nodoka transformed into her hybrid form not caring about her torn clothes. She hid it well but right now she was furious at her husband for all of the boneheaded things he'd done to her son. The engagements, the Neko Ken, Jusenkyo, and most importantly leaving her for TEN FUCKING YEARS! She walked over to where her Venus had dumped him. She looked down to where he was lying on the ground. She then looked over to Venus.
"I'll just be going now," Venus said as she turned tail and ran. Ranma's mother could be scary sometimes.
"Elder if you wouldn't mind pulling the car up to the garage and then joining me in the basement. My husband and I need to get reacquainted."
Cologne was shocked to hear that after all Genma's done to her she would be willing to forgive and forget so easily. This notion was quickly banished when she saw that Nodoka was flicking her claws in and out, and that her tail was swishing around violently behind her. She decided that the best thing that she could do would be to go assist her daughter-in-law and make sure that she didn't actually kill the old fool. No matter how indifferent Ranma was being about this she knew that if he died he would still resent his mother.
"Oh well. Such is life," Cologne said as she shrugged and climbed into the drivers seat. All you could see was knuckles on the steering wheel.
Nodoka bent over and picked up her husband. Damn he's put on weight since she last saw him. As she hefted him over her shoulder the car peeled out leaving black streaks on the driveway as a bluish grey haze filled the air. The car rocketed straight for the garage at high speed. Ten feet from the garage door the car went into a spin so that when it stopped it was facing away from the door ready to be used again.
Cologne got out of the car.
"Ahh that reminds me of my youth." She said with a spring in her step.
"Of course you were there when the wheel was invented." Walter commented from the doorway.
"Hah shows how much you know. I was nailing John Chrysler even before he picked up a wrench."
"Why not Henry Ford?"
"Too full of himself."
"Great grandma, great grandma!" Shampoo yelled from the gates as she jumped over them and raced towards the house.
Cologne turned towards the noisy interloper.
"What is it child."
Shampoo skidded to a stop about three feet from where Cologne was standing.
"Airen 2 hurt!"
"Airen 2?"
"Need some way of telling which is which."
Cologne just looked at her heir.
"Here's an idea why not try their names." She responded flatly.
"That good idea! What I ever do without you!" Shampoo said as she bounced off towards the house to see if her airens were ok. It was so fun playing with her great grandmother like that.
Cologne looked to the sky for some kind of sign. Anything to tell her what to do. A sign from the gods to lead her in the right direction.
What she got was a small black pig with a yellow polka dot bandanna around it's neck flying through the sky.
"Hmm now that's something you don't see everyday."
Walter looked up to see a pig soaring through the skies.
"You don't think that could be that Ryoga character do you?"
"It is a possibility. Since Ranma is no longer there to protect him I'd imagine that the young Akane took her pet for a nice hot bath." She paused for a moment. "I wish I could have gotten a picture of her face at that moment." She waited a few moments before pogoing off.
"Where are you going Elder?" Walter called from his perch on the stairs.
"Well I'm off to do a HALO jump. A couple of army friends of mine challenged me to do it a few years back."
"So why are you doing it now?!"
"When pigs fly! Oh yes and don't let Nodoka kill her husband!"
And with that she was off. Walter stared at the spot she was at for a few moments before shaking his head and going back inside. He shifted as soon as he got through the door.
In 'their' room Ranma in his hybrid form had placed Makoto on the bed, being careful not to jar her leg too much. He was about to cover her up and go get either a better splint or something like a cast when she stopped him.
"Hold on. Could you remove the splint, I want to change to my hybrid form first."
"Yeah sure." He said as he pulled off the splint.
They both shifted and he helped adjust her again so that she was comfortable.
"Ooo that's weird." She said while wiggling her toes.
"What is?" Ranma asked throwing the improvised splint in the garbage but keeping his fathers belt.
"It's tingling... around the break."
Ranma walked over and gently lifted the fur around the break site so that he could look at her skin. He saw the bruise that was around the break site fade before his eyes. He knew that he himself was a fast healer, but this was ridiculous.
"Yourrr brrruise is gone. I... wait a minute." He looked at her. "I knew that we healed fasterrrr when we'rrre in hybrrrid and full cat forrrms but this is rrridiculous."
"So that means???"
"You should be fully healed in a couple of hourrrs barrring getting hurrrt morrre."
Just then a purple blur shot through the door and plowed into the immobile Makoto jarring her leg. The bruise may have been gone but the leg was still fractured.
She screamed.
Shampoo blinked then zipped over to where Ranma was.
"Shampoo sorry." She repeated over and over while performing a great imitation of the crouch of the wild tiger. Ranma would have to remember to teach her the proper technique sometime. Her form was good but she wasn't bending her arms enough and her butt was way too high in the air.
After a few minutes of Shampoo groveling for forgiveness Makoto finally spoke up.
"It's alright now. Just... don't do that again."
Silence reigned for a good five minutes before Makoto spoke up.
"Umm Shampoo didn't you have detention or something?"
"Crybaby leader girl come to tell me that Airen 2 hurt by fat stupid panda man. Old pervert woman try stop me but no willing jump out window."
"And just what reason do you have to believe that I didn't follow you?" Came Setsuna's voice from about a foot away from Shampoo's left ear.
Shampoo yelped and leapt up to perform her 'husband's' patented cling to the ceiling technique. After seeing him do it so many times she was able to copy it perfectly.
"How are you feeling Mako chan?" Setsuna said as she fingered a note in her hand.
"It still hurts but not as much as it did before." She winced as she moved her leg a bit to get it back in position.
"Well now that you're transformed it should be all healed within an hour or so. The best thing right now is rest, so you two" She indicated Ranma and the still ceiling clinging Shampoo "should let her rest."
"Yeah sure just a sec." Ranma said as he went over and helped Makoto into a lying position so that she wouldn't jar her still healing leg anymore.
"Alright Romeo out she's got to get some rest." Setsuna said while shooing the two of them out of the room.
Several blocks from the Saotome home two girls were walking along. Upon closer inspection we could see Nabiki and her sister Kasumi. Nabiki was still in her school uniform, which was normal. The thing that had all of the guys married or not running into light posts, mailboxes, energy draining youma, etc was her sister walking beside her.
Imagine this dear reader. Take Kasumi Tendo, ordinary plain Kasumi, overlooked by the men of Nerima (except for Dr. Tofu). Now take off the old house dress and slippers. Put three inch spaghetti strap heels on recently pedicured feet. Moving up to her waist instead of a long skirt it's a short black mini that looks like it was molded directly to her skin in places. At the back you can see faint panty lines. Covering her torso was a skimpy v neck shirt that would have looked just right on Akane or Nabiki (whose closet she stole it from) added to that the fact that she neglected to wear a bra meant some serious shaking. Her face had just the right amount of makeup on to accentuate her features without making her look trashy. Her hair was styled the same as it always was but there was a bit of a wave in it now. Now start her walking. Instead of her normal timid tiptoe walk her hips were swinging back and forth giving her butt maximum sway for minimum effort.
In effect she was dressed to kill and had her target in her sights.
Enroute from her home to the train station and from the station to the Saotome home.
Fatalities: 10 including 1 frag
Injuries: 43
Pissed off Girlfriends: 80
Moving Violations: 1
Kasumi was of course acting oblivious to all of this. It was Nabiki who was keeping score and doubting that if dressed similarly she could do as well.
She watched as her chances with Ranma took a swan dive off a tall cliff onto a pile of sharp rocks, then get eaten by the carrion, then crapped out dried up and blown away like so many other dreams.
Gods she felt cheerful today.
She dodged out of the way of another pervert that had leaned too far over his balcony to try and look down her sister's shirt.
He was still alive +1 to the injury count.
As they rounded the corner on the street that Ranma's house was on they began to get a strange feeling that something was out of place. The houses on this street were huge some were even as large as the Kuno estate. Mrs. Saotome must be loaded to afford to have a place like that.
When they got to the address indicated on her paper she looked at a pair of open gates surrounded by high walls.
"That's weird." Nabiki said as she looked at the open gates.
"What is?" Kasumi responded a little concerned.
"Well usually for these rich types they always have the gates closed to try to discourage robbers, vagrants etc. To leave the gates open like this means that they either have nothing worth while stealing or they aren't afraid of anybody. With Ranma, Shampoo and Cologne there I'd feel sorry for any would be robber, but still it's strange that they would leave the gates open."
"Well no use trying to figure it out let's just go inside." Kasumi said as she grabbed her sister's hand and started dragging her through the gate.
Back in the house Setsuna had dropped Ranma and Shampoo in the living room. She then made some excuse about having other appointments to keep and wandered off somewhere. Ranma alone in the living room with Shampoo tried to think of something to do with her. That thought popped into his head but he quickly dismissed it. Challenging her to a sparring match would just not do.
What did you think he was thinking about? Sex?
Fifteen minutes passed with both of them just staring off into space. Ranma was starting to fidget from sitting in one place for too long and doing nothing. He spied the controllers for the game system. Well a couple rounds of Spine Puller 4 vs Shampoo would work. He jumped up and started flipping switches and pushing buttons to turn everything on. He still hadn't figured out how to use all the remote controls yet. He switched the game in the system grabbed both controllers and sat back down. He passed one of the controllers to Shampoo and they started to play.
Onscreen both characters started to dance and jump around the screen. Combos were thrown out and subsequently blocked by the other player before they counter attacked. A thirty-second timer was too short since by blocking, damage that was done was reduced by half or less. Matches between himself and Shampoo always went two or more minutes. She didn't stand a chance in the real world against him but in this virtual world where the number of moves was limited, the speed of the characters was set, and the only determining factor was how fast you could press the buttons Shampoo was easily a match for her husband.
This virtual sparring went on for another half an hour before the doorbell rang. They continued to play since they had gotten used to Walter answering the door. Little did they know that Walter was otherwise 'occupied'. Ranma had just performed a 36 hit mega combo that had torn Shampoo's character limb from limb. All that was left now was a torso with a head on it. She only had a tiny sliver of a life bar left. The doorbell rang again.
"I'll get it." Ranma said as he put his controller down and rushed off to the door.
Shampoo was moving her torso forward with the intent of biting his ankles off.
Ranma got to the door just as the doorbell rang again. He tossed the door open and looked down on the two people that were standing on the doorstep.
Completely forgetting that he was still in his hybrid form.
Nabiki and Kasumi got the shock of their lives when the door suddenly flew open and they were both left to stare at the hard muscled and furry chest of... something. Looking up they came face to face with a half cat half man. Nabiki briefly thought that the colouring made him look like a cheetah or maybe a jaguar.
Then it spoke.
"Uhh Kasumi, Nabiki, umm what arrre you two doing herrre?"
In Ranma's voice.
This was too much for the sisters and they promptly fainted.
Ranma sighed, suddenly remembering that he was in his hybrid form, and picked up the two of them and slung one over each shoulder and carried them back inside remembering to shut the door. He didn't want any more surprises today. It would be just his luck that Kuno or maybe Ryoga would decide to stop by and try and skewer him for being an evil monster or something like that.
When he got to the living room he saw Shampoo perform a finishing move that ripped out his characters throat. With high pressure blood spurting from his virtual persona the announcer said that Shampoo was the winner.
"Hey no fairrr I want a rrremach!" He said as he sat down and picked up the controller, completely forgetting that he still had Nabiki and Kasumi slung over his shoulders.
Shampoo looked over and noticed that Kasumi and Nabiki were on his shoulders.
"Shampoo want know why nice girl and greedy girl over Airen's shoulders. Is fashion accessory right?" She narrowed her eyes at her husband.
"Whoops!" He said as he stood up suddenly, both girls spilling from his shoulders to tumble into a heap on the couch.
The sudden jarring sensation was enough to wake Nabiki up from her impromptu nap. She blinked her eyes rapidly as she woke up to find herself with her big sisters ass in her face and herself laying on a comfy couch of some kind. Well first things first she had to sit up. To do that she rolled Kasumi off her onto the floor. She sat up and rubbed her eyes to clear them. The first thing she saw was Shampoo sitting on the same couch holding a game controller of some kind.
"You know I just had the strangest dream right now." She laughed a bit. "I dreamed that Ranma was some kind of cat monster." She laughed a little harder. "Stupid or what."
"Airen no monster, were cheetah." Shampoo said.
"Were cheetah? You mean like a were wolf or something like that?"
"Yeah that's prrretty much it." Ranma's voice came from behind her.
Nabiki whipped around and had to look up, way up right into Ranma's fuzzy face. It was strange, now that she thought about it, that she didn't recognize him when he was at the door. His face looked almost the same except it was fuzzy. His ears were elongated and his eyes were slitted. He was still wearing his school uniform though. That's probably what threw her off.
"So uhh Ranma how's it going?" She said as she stared unblinking at his face. His fuzzy furry silky smooth face.
Was it getting hot in here?
"You know same old same old. Go to school, sleep, fight monsterrrs that are trrrying to drrrain people's energy. Same as Nerrrima except the headmaster isn't a nutjob and the students are pretty much norrmal forrr the most parrrt."
"Ahh I see. Umm could you... uhh change back." This was just creepy. She knew she wasn't into bestiality but this was Ranma; someone she wanted in her.
"Uhh yeah I guess." He said as he shifted back to his human form. He quickly used the Velcro to put his clothes back into order. "So what are you two doing here?"
"We just wanted to visit you. See how you were doing."
"Ohh Ranma. Yes touch me there." Kasumi moaned in her sleep pretty much ruining any chance of Nabiki being believed.
About this time Kasumi's faculties were coming back online. The first thing that she noticed was that she was lying face down on a nice wood floor... with her ass sticking straight up in the air. Quickly rolling over she said the first thing that came to her mind.
"Oh My. I had the strangest dream."
She sat up and looked over to where Ranma was staring at her.
"Hello Ranma kun. Would you believe that I thought I saw a cat man at the door. How silly of me." She said as she put her hand to her cheek, 'unintentially' jiggling her breasts in the process.
Shampoo in the words of Queen Victoria 'was not amused'.
Just then Makoto still in her hybrid form came around the corner. She had a noticeable limp but it wasn't as bad as it was before.
"What's all the racket down here?" She said as she fully stepped into the room.
"Ahhhhh! CAT!" Ranma screamed as he leapt up towards the ceiling.
Kasumi didn't bother looking where Ranma had gone to. He'd done the same thing before when a cat was around. All of her attention was on the newcomer in front of her. Tall, big breasts, tail, ears, fuzzy. It took all of her willpower not to faint again.
"You wouldn't happen to be Makoto would you?" Nabiki asked feeling a little intimidated. Ok she was very intimidated. Makoto was about one to one and a half feet taller than she was and looked like she could rip through a tank. (She actually could do that)
"Yes I am. It seems that you know me but I don't know who you are."
"They arrre Nabiki and Kasumi." Ranma said as he, now in his hybrid form, dropped from the ceiling beside her.
Kasumi was... well stupefied. Here was the guy she'd been lusting over for over a year and he turns out to be a half cat guy monster.
Kasumi Tendo was a known cat lover. She often brought strays home but had to stop that after they found out that Ranma was afraid of cats. Speaking of which.
"Ranma why are you a cat now?"
What followed was a comprehensive explanation of lycanthropy, the were cheetah's clan history, and most of the events that had transpired durring the few days excluding of course all sailor scout activity but not, much to Ranma's embarrassment, their sexual activity. Shampoo particularly enjoyed giving the Tendo sisters a play by play of their one night time romp. He wondered why she was going into detail with the Tendos and not with Makoto's friends.
Ahh poor innocent Ranma. Little did he know that they were marking him as their territory to other females.
It was so much easier being a guy.
When the explanations were done and the Tendo sisters were thoroughly embarrassed and more than a little frightened. When Ranma's stomach growled Nabiki must have jumped six feet in the air.
"Don't do that!" Nabiki yelled.
"Ahh sorrrry I haven't eaten yet." Ranma said sheepishly as he grinned (baring his fangs) and scratched the back of his head just like he always did.
"Don't you have servants or something to cook for you?" Nabiki asked a little confused.
"Not rrreally it's just Walterrr and he just cleans. Mom loves cooking so she just usually does it. Lately Makoto, Shampoo and sometimes Cologne have helped out."
"So where is your mother?" Kasumi asked.
"Ahh I think she's getting rrreaquainted with the old man." Ranma said.
"Call me queen," followed by "Yes mistress!" could be heard faintly from somewhere below them.
Both Kasumi and Nabiki were shocked by this.
"You mean your father was stupid enough to come here?!" Nabiki asked. She knew Genma was dumb but this was beyond stupid.
"Nah he just came to school and tried to get me to go back and marry Akane. He backhanded Makoto then broke her leg."
They looked at Makoto.
"I'm almost healed. It was just a simple fracture." She smiled showings lots of fang. She then popped out her claws. "Gods do I love this. Increased healing, strength, senses and above all speed." She started cackling madly.
"Yeah well I guess mom's going to be busy for a while." There was a girlish scream in the background. "So I guess we've got to make supper."
"I'll help!" This from an enthusiastic Kasumi.
"You no know how to cook for cats. They is very fickle."
"Yeah right this is Ranma even if he's a cat now he's still a garbage disposal." Nabiki commented.
"Not quite Nabiki. Cats can be quite fickle sometimes." She reached into her own personal stuff space and pulled out a green sprig of something. "For instance all cats like catnip." She smiled as she wiggled it in front of Ranma's face.
Once he got a whiff of it he couldn't control himself. He took a small nip of one of the leaves. His eyes unfocused and his pupils dilated. He grabbed the sprig from Kasumi's hands and fell backwards changing into his full cat mode. He dangled the sprig in front of his face and he took little nips now and then while kicking his feet in the air.
"See he's happy right now." Kasumi smiled.
"He's stoned sis," Nabiki responded flatly. The fact that Ranma was not human firmly hammered into her head.
"Happy."
"I would appreciate it if you would refrain from getting my boyfriend stoned." Makoto said as she ripped the sprig of catnip out of Ranma's paws.
Once she caught a whiff of that wonderful aroma she couldn't help herself she just had to try it even though she knew it was bad for her. She brought it to her mouth and was about to take a bite when her co-wife came out of nowhere and snatched it out of her hand. She used her limited ki control to burn it.
"No getting Airens drugged." Shampoo said.
Everybody looked back to where Ranma was. He had wormed his way out of his clothes and was busy licking himself clean. He was also purring up a storm. When he started cleaning his groin Nabiki just had to say something.
"You know that's just disturbing in a strangely auto-erotic way."
Both Shampoo and Makoto were hanging their heads. They had thought that they had broken him of that habit.
"All right we need to get some food ready. Who's going to watch Ranma so that he doesn't hurt himself or others." Makoto said.
"I'll do it!" Kasumi piped up.
"Actually Tendo-san Ranma's been raving about your cooking. I want to see just how good you are." Makoto said as she picked up the smaller woman and tossed her over her shoulder and carried her out of the room talking all the while.
"I'll stay and watch Ranma." Nabiki said as she sat back in the couch.
"Shampoo no trust. You and sister try to steal Airen. Shampoo not that stupid not to see." She said as she leveled a glare at Nabiki.
Nabiki let out a huge sigh.
"Yeah that was the original plan, you know come here and see if he's got enough in him for another girl." She looked at Ranma who was still cleaning himself. "I'm pretty used to weird stuff happening around him, I mean a guy turning into a girl was weird enough but not this..." He was really getting that clean. If she didn't know better she would have thought that he was really enjoying it.
"So you no chase Airen?" Shampoo asked with a bit of hope. It was getting to be a full time job beating off the other girls that wanted a piece of her husband.
Nabiki closed her eyes for a few minutes to really think about it. One he was not human. She'd gotten over the fact that he turned into a girl a while ago. It'd be a while before she would get over the fact that he also turned into a large feline as well. Two he was already 'married' to one girl and affianced to another. Well in for a penny in for a pound. Three he probably hated her because of all of the nasty things she's done to him. Add to that the fact that Kasumi would be her main rival. This was something that would be difficult if not impossible to overcome. She was always up for a challenge. Four Shampoo was standing in front of her with a rather largish sword drawn and pointed at her.... She'd have to wish her sister luck.
"No I'll back off." She said with the sound of a dream dying, or was that Genma?
Ranma had finished cleaning himself and was rubbing himself against Shampoo. It was only her warriors training that let her keep her feet but she was still wobbling a bit. She put the sword away and pushed the amorous kitty towards Nabiki.
"Watch him. I go school big sister in nature of things."
Shampoo left the room. Ranma tried to follow but Nabiki held him back. She wasn't sure why he let her hold him back. Maybe he just wanted to be petted, to be loved and held. To hold her as a man holds a woman. Yes her dream was starting to come back to life! Soon he would drop the other girls and only love her, Nabiki Tendo!
Or he just wanted to hump her leg like a dog.
It took quite some doing but eventually the girls were able to make something coherent in the way of food. Makoto was still surprised that Kasumi was able to cook springbuck. Since Ranma was still high on something just a bit stronger than life they decided to eat outside on the patio. Ranma was eating like an animal which is to say that he was eating just a bit neater than he normally did. Even Kasumi was smart enough not to try and stick her hand anywhere near his reach or risk it being bitten off.
When they had finished they were sitting around drinking their tea. Ranma had wandered off and found himself a warm spot to sleep. Nabiki was opening her mouth to say something when a loud scream was heard.
Everybody turned to look at where it came from when Walter in his hybrid form came rushing around the corner. His clothing was torn in several places and he looked like he'd just run a couple of marathons. About two or so meters behind him were a couple of older women wearing chinese silk style dresses waiving swords and yelling something about 'Airen'. As one the assembled group minus Ranma turned to look at Shampoo.
Shampoo blinked as she realized everyone was looking at her.
"They is Nair and Vidal. Two older womens from village. They is too too good to be beaten by normal mens. No know why they here," she said as she crossed her arms under her breasts. "Shampoo just happy that they finally find Airen, just as long as they keep hands off Shampoo's Airens."
Ranma had been lazily following the action from his spot on the stone fence. Deciding to join in the fun he went to turn the amazon's game of tag into tackle football.
Walter went down fairly hard. He'd be ok if not for the Amazons jumping on top and kissing him. First Vidal then Nair. Makoto had turned on the afterburners as soon as she saw Ranma move and yanked him out of the fray before he accidentally scratched or bit anybody, however it was too late for Walter. Shampoo was cheering her sisters from the patio while Walter was laying on the ground swearing bloody vengeance against old dried up mummies.
Nabiki and Kasumi wisely chose this moment to make their exit. They said goodbye to Ranma even though he was only semi coherent.
As they were walking back to the train station they were accosted by a woman in a trench coat and fedora.
"Good evening ladies." The mysterious woman said.
"What do you want?" Nabiki asked, a little suspicious. The woman moved fluidly meaning that she'd been trained in some kind of martial art.
"Oh nothing more than to give you these." She held out two pen like objects.
The pen she held out to Kasumi was red with orange swirls in it. The top had an almost rusty iron appearance. It looked like somebody had taken a sledgehammer to a stylized "H".
The pen she held out to Nabiki was black with yellow radioactive symbols on it. The top looked like it was made of solid gold. (It was pyrite) The symbol was a P however it looked like it had an eye and a smiling mouth in the open part.
Both pens had a yellow post it note with a phrase on it.
"Enjoy, and remember that not all hero's start out heroic." She said as she stepped through a portal and disappeared.
Both Nabiki and Kasumi looked at their 'gifts'.
"Maybe I could pawn it for something," Nabiki said as she tossed it over her shoulder. It disappeared as soon as she let go of it.
"Nabiki we really shouldn't be just throwing them out after that nice woman went through so much effort to give them to us," Kasumi said as she put hers into her own personal space.
"Yeah well that nice lady just disappeared into a magical portal if you didn't notice. For once I'm going to take a lesson from Ranma. Magic is nothing but trouble and I don't want anything to do with it."
"I always did want to be a magical girl," Kasumi said as she started walking towards the train station again.
"Not me. The hours are murder and the pay sucks. If you ask me being a magical girl is nothing but trouble that I can do without," Nabiki responded working over the thought of being a magical girl. If those sticks really were magical girl transformation devices...
"Great all I need now is some stupid talking animal sidekick and I'm all set." She shuddered at the thought. "Great I'm giving myself cavities just thinking about it.
Setsuna laughed as she checked the scene on the gates of time. The dark side was always more fun to play than the light side. Soon she would be all the way over to the dark then the fun would really begin. Why just now she'd helped a little ewok across the street and into a FURNACE.
She put down the Xbox controller and took a sip of her tea. This Star wars Knights of the Old Republic game was hilariously fun.
Authors Notes:
Sorry about the long wait, it's been nuts at my workplace so I have had absolutely no time to write anything.
A big thanks to my prereaders Mark the Tax Zombie, Axekeeper, and Lord Raa.
Without their help this would sound like a yoda convention.
Any comments etc send to
nealharris@otakumail.com