Tetra-Slash: Easy.. breathe... yeah an hour, longer sometimes... Thanks for pointing out the sectoins that need fixing, I really am trying to get the paragraph size down to a beter chapter 12, some time passed between the chapters, I just didn't indicate it really well, I will fix that when I have the chance. And I couldn't find the paragraph you weretalking about... I will look more forit thought. Also, this sin't a race, take your time, enjoy the chapters, I'm in no rush you shouldn't be either.

MoonCanon: Glad you're enjoying it :)

ArchNavyBlue: Name change right? laughsI didn't know you could do that, most forum's I go to it's not allowed..Back to topic... writing the Noishe scenesis a little rough actually, since I don't own a dog. I kind of model Noishe off of my cats (minus the psychopath-ie-ness)so it's amazing that a "dog person" would fall for it. I must have some pretty wacky cats. Oh and about the "Girle Squeel", I imagine your going to be doing it a ton in chapter 15. One of the most anti openly expresive people (this guy could give Regal competition) I know actually squeaked and said Lloyd was cute in that chapter, so don't put money on that yet...

Serrated Darkness: (sorry if I miss spelled your pen-name...) I'm glad you enjoyed the supence/drama I was trying to cultivate in that chapter. As for how Lloyd defeats Mithos... well you'll find out when I get to it in (blantant self avertisement)Shards of Regeneration(/blantant self avertisement) Beautiful chapter blushes there's a first for you... hopefully you will find them all as enjoyable as the story presses on.

Chapter 13

Heart's Blood

"How do you live with it?" Anna whispered, she lay in his arms, so still and quiet, he had thought her asleep. "How do you keep sane?"

"Hmmm?" Kratos didn't want to open his eyes; he was content only to hold her, to listen to her voice. But she needed this answer. He could hear the need in her voice. "Live with what Anna?"

"The… The killing, what that monster Yggdra-"

"Shh Anna, you are not to say that name. If anyone hears you say it I can not protect you... We have been over this."

"Kratos!" Her voice was a whisper. "You have to answer me, please! I... I need to know."

"I'll tell you, but when I'm done I need to know why you want to know this." He felt her nod, felt her snuggle a little closer to him. They were back at the inn. Kratos had very carefully questioned the innkeeper, had shown a strange paranoia, and at Anna's questions to why that was Kratos had said nothing. She seemed relieved that he was again being open. A strange sadness had been troubling her, had almost consumed her after the ball. She had spoken to Altessa in a detached, almost mechanical manner, had remained silent at dinner, and had gone straight to bed. Not even Lloyd's cries had roused her from the strange sleep she had taken.

First Kratos had been worried for her health; he had hesitantly joined her after tending their son. She had grasped him, stubbornly held onto him, as if he was a lifeline. He had almost fallen into a panic. The moonlight had revealed Anna's tear streaked face. She had looked at him with wounded eyes. And to his questions she only hushed him, and drew him to the bed. She had held onto him in desperation, had clung to him with all her strength. Now after an hour had passed she was talking to him again. Her grip was now not so desperate, not so frantic. He sighed into her bare shoulder, considered all that had happened to him, that allowed him to kill with what she thought of as a causal air.

"Kratos, are you alright?"

She was concerned for him, at a time like this... He smiled into the silver highlighted darkness that was there room. With a sword calloused hand he tousled her hair, he could feel her relax. Even though he was a murder she still felt safe in his arms. He remembered once when they were in the Iselian Ranch how she had told him that his arms were the only safe place for her. That she had no home, no place to call her own. Save with him.

Then she had told him that though she loved being held he needed to loosen up a little, she couldn't breath.

"I'm fine Anna; I just have a lot on my mind. Despite what you think... it's all so horribly easy. There is a shock at first, a violation of the soul. That which is valued the most is the most fragile; a human life is so fragile... I learned that when I was twelve Anna, when my Father slashed my Mother's throat."

He felt her shudder, heard her whimper. He hated how his voice had no emotion in it. But he could not force himself to speak what he did not feel. He felt no more hate for his Father; he only felt a faint sadness for his Mother. In the end she had been spared living, watching her son become a monster.

"My father was insane. I guess it was a mix of too many years in the wars, too many years in the Humanification Camps."

Kratos closed his eyes, tried not to remember the 'camps' that held half elf and other none humans like so much cattle. The sights, the sounds of those places were still with him, and he heard them every time he stepped into a 'ranch'. While he had fallen far in his life time he had never sunk to the level of serving in one of those places like his father, he took comfort in that.

"He was drunk out of his mind when he murdered Mother. He always seemed to be drunk, at least while I was at home. I never saw him all that much, because I was too young to be a soldier I guess." He could feel Anna shudder. Droplets, neither hot nor cold, fell on his shoulder. Anna was silently crying. "We do not need to go on Anna, you do not have to know of this..." He moved a little so that she could see him, could see the agony in his eyes. "I wont hurt you Anna, not with the past."

"No," Anna shivered, forced a smile past the tears. "You aren't hurting me, I'm just sorry that you had to see that. If I could I'd go back, I'd change it, so that you wouldn't have been hurt... Your old pain, that causes me pain. But like you, I have to endure it."

"No Anna, it is not needful for you to..."

"Kratos, hush." She wormed a hand out from the mess of blankets that kept them shielded from the prying eye of the night. She caressed his face with that hand, and then placed a finger over his lips. "You are going to listen to me for once my love, and you are going to listen to me good." She blushed and stirred a bit with obvious discomfort. "When a man and woman come together it's not just the... physical. Such a flippant attitude towards love making is really looked down upon where I come from. It's tolerated, after all people do have urges, we know that and make exceptions, but still. When a man and women love each other in the... physical way... it isn't sport. It's not a game. Once you lay with someone that you have any feelings for, it binds your very souls together. Basically when you become one physically it bonds you to that person for the whole of your life."

"When the Desian's-"

"I didn't feel for them, not the men who raped me. I hated them, I wanted to kill them, and I came very close to it a time or two. So they don't count, it just... hurts. It hurts every time when I think about it... But I look at you, and I know that someday soon I'll be able to look back and not bleed. Someday, it won't hurt, and it doesn't hurt, not as bad as it used to." She tried to smile, but it failed, so she lowered her head into his shoulder. "I knew you'd never hurt me, and you haven't."

Two pin points above his shoulders began to ache, but Kratos firmly ordered himself not to allow that pain to spread. He smiled, or tried to. She looked at him, took in his pain, than an evil glint came into her eyes.

"Problems dear?" Her hand slid to those points of pain, and she applied just the slightest bit of preasure.

"Anna…" His teeth were clenched so tight they ached. "Enough, not tonight, it's not safe, the window..."

She snorted, and then stood pulled away from him. Kratos closed his eyes, ordered himself to exert some God damned discipline. She was angry at him, of course she would be. But he hadn't been lying. With the large window at the far side of the room, the curtains carelessly left open... He had felt strange enough going to bed with her like this; he had wanted to draw the curtains closed. She had firmly left it open. That; coupled with everything else that had happened and was said... He would be sharing the bed with no one tonight. His eyes snapped open as he heard the sound of fabric being rustled, the whisper of a cord being tied. Anna had closed the window, had walked across the room in the nude, and had closed the window that faced out on the main square of Tethe'alla's capital city Meltokio. He wrestled with that image; part of him screamed how wrong it was that Anna had done that, that it wasn't proper.

Another part of him wished he had opened his eyes a little sooner.

"Take the bed, I will..."

"Get back in bed, that's what you'll be doing Kratos!"

It was now so dark even his enhanced vision could make nothing out of the room. It would have been a trial to walk around the room, find the dresser, and then fumble out his clothes. Anna, he could hear her walking towards him. With a slight smile Kratos lay back down, and he knew that in the darkness Anna too smiled.

"You are such an innocent sometimes." The bed creaked as Anna sat down. "Now, you're going to explain." Though the tone was light there was a strained quality to her voice. He cursed the darkness that made it even harder to read her. "After your Mother's death what happened?"

"I killed my Father. I hated him for what he had just done, so I answered that hate with a knife. I was dubbed a murderer and chased out of the village. They would not listen, none of my friends. None of the neighbors who heard the fights, the sounds of my Father beating my Mother, they never came forward... I did not understand Anna, I did not know what I did wrong." He felt her shiver and drew her close. "After my exile was announced I was stoned out of town, one of the people set a dog on me."

He closed his eyes, in some dusty corner of his mind he could still taste his childhood fear, could still hear the dog baying at his heels. The few times he ever did dream, when he did nightmare, he heard the barking of that dog.

"All I had was a practice sword on my back, and only a handful of gald. I lived on the outskirts of the village for a few weeks, there were others like me. Other orphans, victims of fate, much like myself. If I recall properly there were even a few half-elves…

It was there I learned what I had done, I grew to understand death and hate from those children who wallowed in it. Ever since I was growing up there were horrible stories about brigands who killed merchants, mercenaries had been paid to come out and kill them yet they came back baffled. It wasn't brigands that were killing those merchants, but those children..."

Anna whimpered, even after four thousands years of life between him and those memories Kratos still got the chills thinking of the "pack" as they called themselves. Bound by desperation, and mutual hate to those that wronged them, the children and young adults of the fishing community were worse then brigands. They didn't kill for need, or even greed, they killed because they had grown to love it. It was the salve to there wounds, it filled the void where love had been. He remembered the leader of the "pack" the blooded boy of sixteen. The ratty blond hair, the sharp green eyes, he remembered the scars that slid down the boy's left eye, like a tear frozen to his skin. Kratos remembered that broad smile that was missing a few teeth, but what he mainly remembered was how that boys eyes had slid over him, and how the boy had smiled.

i You're right Ferith. This one has it, you can see it in his eyes. /i

"They found me, took me in. They offered a home, a family; they promised me I would never be alone again. I was desperate, I'd tried hunting and surviving by myself and I was dieing due to my failures. There was no other option, so I trusted them. They took me to there leader... I do not even think I ever heard his name... He was the leader of the Pack, he took me as his second, said I had what it took. I abandoned them after they trained me Anna. They beat me black and blue, barely fed me enough to keep me alive, and when I finally ran I had to kill their leader. I had to prove I was ready to go to the outside world, they called it a "blood edge", because the leader would bloody his blade killing those who wanted out."

He could fell Anna crying, he wanted to stop. But she whispered that he should continue that she was strong enough to take the rest of it.

"After I left I went to a town, Uthik, I found the mercenary group that had tried to find the brigands. I told them everything, of the red paths, the oaths, and I had enough proof on me and information at hand to basically hand the Pack over on a silver platter. This is exactly what I did. I went with them, I watched as they attacked the camps, and when they were done I asked them if I could join them. They were the Crimson Talon, and there leader was my mentor, he took me in, and taught me the ground work for swords-craft. He was at first disgusted with how free I was when it came to killing people, to how casually I took a life.

By the time I was thirteen I had probably killed more men then the rest of the company, they were horrified, they thought I was a demon. Before I turned fourteen he forced me to re-think how I viewed life and death, in the only way that would have affected me, he died. It wasn't immediate, it wasn't a clean death, and before he died I was able to bring him proof that the man who killed him was dead. He was shocked that a child would avenge his death, shocked and horrified. But unlike all my other companions he let me see that horror... He told me how I was doing what I was doing was wrong. A man should not kill so freely, that even as we take a life we must honor it. To take a life to protect another, to take it to defend your self, to take it to avenge the innocent, to right the most grievous of wrongs, that was right. I took life without thought, and that was wrong. Those were his last words, he turned from me, and he died. His code, that dieing man's code, is what I centered my... my professional life around.

That is how I deal with death, because I deal death with full thought, and full understanding of the consequences. It's a weight Anna, my sword is the heaviest thing in all the worlds, and yet I have to use it. I have to protect those I love, I have to protect the innocent, to right the wrongs that I see."

"Like in the camps?" She whispered.

"Anna that's different..."

"No Kratos, it's not different. It's not any more different from what those people did to you at your village."

He snarled, started to push her away. She held onto him, he could force her off of him, but only by hurting her. He stopped struggling against her, and lay still. In the darkness he could feel her move, shift, and then her head was resting on his chest.

"Why did you come to the camp?"

"I was ordered too, Forcystus was to get a cruxis crystal implant, as well as a... An addition, a weapon was to be fused on his arm. Someone had to run things while he was gone, it's years until the next Regeneration journey so Ygg-... I was ordered to go, I went."

"Things changed when you came. You didn't push us as hard, and we actually were making things at the camp instead of rotting there." Anna whispered. "Why did you do that?"

"I..." Kratos sighed, and in the darkness reached out to touch his wife's shoulder. "I do not know why I did what I did. I just did. It had to be done Anna, I do not know why, it just did."

"You've never said that before." Anna whispered, clasping his hand in her own.

"What?"

"You never said you didn't understand. You never admitted you were helpless to not do what your heart was telling you to do. I think somewhere in that very thick and stubborn skull you knew what was going on was wrong. I think you knew somewhere that Mithos was lying to you, that he wasn't going to keep his end of the bargain, to fix the two worlds."

"Anna..."

"Kratos, we can't let him do this... We have to stop him... Please, there must be a way!"

"Anna I already tried nothing I could find would work."

"I wont let our son live in a world that.. that that monster can just obliterate with a snap of his fingers. I won't! Please Kratos, you have to try again, and I know that if you do you will succeed."

"I... Anna I've already failed. There is no..."

She pinched him, and he fell silent.

"There always is hope Kratos. And you won't be alone, I'll help you, I'll be with you every step of the way."

"No I don't want to lose you to Cruxis, I wont! It's too-" He was silenced as she firmly kissed him on his lips. He pulled away first, gasping for breath. She had taken advantage of his dazlement to curl up around him.

"I won't be lost, I won't die, not if I can help it. And you Kratos will not give up, even if I have to apply all of my stubbornness to your head with a frying pan!"

"Anna this is no game..."

"I know that." Her hands caressed him, made him ache, but he turned from her. "You are being so stubborn, you know that? Kratos, you can't stop him alone, and I most certainly can't either. But if you wont help me I'll leave Lloyd with you and do what needs to be done on my own."

He froze, stiffened at that threat. She could feel it under her hands.

"You would abandon me?"

"No, if you don't do this there wont be anyone to abandon, because you'll already have abandoned yourself, and everything that makes you you. You won't be the man I fell in love with if you keep turning a blind eye to that monster. The man I love would fight, the man I love would never give up, he hasn't given up, not in four thousand years. He just got a little sidetracked, that's all."

"A little?"

"Yes a little." She kissed his back, since that's all she could reach. The pain came back; he growled and almost rolled out of the bed. She caught him though, steadied him. He pulled himself back, squirmed back on the bed even as she teased him for letting cold air in. The pain suddenly left him, a silver blue light burst into being, and Anna laughed.

"You are a very strange woman Anna." It was only a soft whisper; her fingers were already weaving through his wings.

"Yes, I am. I'm the only one I know who has a wing fetish. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to get a boyfriend who'd understand." She teased, then after a moment found the back of his head and gave him a peck. "I told you before I'm the luckiest women in all the worlds. I have a wonderful son, and a husband who's a hero and an angel." She then snuggled against his winged back. "I wouldn't trade him, or any of this, for anything in the two worlds."