Sydneyeliza: Where'd you get that idea! But you said you were joking, so that's okay, I guess…

Nightshade: Forgive me for not having enough rhythm! I'M SORRY, I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE! I APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE! I APOLOGIZE TO THE WORLD... (Ritsu Sohma mode ;) and your guess is so close yet so far.

James Hanson: Maya already debuted as one of the cactus dancers. Hikari is destined for another role. Continue to read and find out!

Lunatic9000: Right on! How do you get your information? You'll see the pig/baby and the Cheshire cat soon!

nicknack: Shinji, alas, will not show up for two chapters yet. Ritsuko will dream of the sea. Don't worry; you'll see Asuka in action soon.

God of Epyon: Thank you! I think I might revise the poem and post it up later.

Nicholas Bledsoe: You'll be simply mad about the stooges when they appear. Despite having a 99.3 in my science class, I can be so unscientific. Weird, ne?

NefCanuck: The Queen's the one who says "Off with her head!" You outsmarted yourself here!

Thanks for all the reviews and continue to support this little story please!

Asuka-chan in Wonderland Chapter 6: Pork and Sugar

Asuka looked at the house, a bit unsure of what to do. Then she pulled herself together. "I'm the great Asuka Langley Soryu!" she proclaimed to the air next to her. "I'm not afraid of a dumb house!"

Suddenly, a footman appeared next to her. He was tall, slanted-eyed, balding gray hair, brown teeth, and looked awfully familiar. Then it suddenly clicked into place. It was Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki. Now, there was something seriously wrong with him. He had a frog, yes, a FROG on his head, wearing it like a hat or something. Then, he was practically wearing fish. A fish scarf, bracelet, etc. Well, you get the idea that he was looking pretty weird. (Cough. Idiot. Cough. Weirdo. Cough.) He suddenly proclaimed, "From the Queen of Hearts, and invitation for the Duchess to play golf!"

Then he walked to the door and sat down.

Choosing to ignore the poor fool, Asuka knocked the door.

"It's useless." The vice-commander said. "They're too busy in there to notice." Actually, a huge amount of noise came from inside the house. Howling, sneezing, and crashing were just a taste of what Asuka heard. Without warning, a large plate flew out the window and landed at the Second Child's feet. Feeling very frustrated, she took the plate and threw it at the Fuyutsuki-footman. It hit him hard in the head, but surprisingly, his head did not fall off. (O.o gotta teach me that technique some time). Irrationally infuriated, Asuka instead vented her anger on the door, which fell apart after the German girl gave it a few 'gentle' punches.

Feeling a little more sated, she walked in, realizing all the while that a very strange smell was in the air. It took her a few seconds to pinpoint the smell to a certain door. It had a bunny wearing Gendo Ikari's trademark glasses, in his trademark hands-over-mouth pose, sitting behind a desk, enough said. (No comment; lol) A small part of Asuka's mind told her that maybe, just maybe, they should get going. She shushed that part immediately. She was Asuka Langley Soryu, and no one could frighten her! (Except maybe the commander, and that doll is freaky!) Squaring her shoulders, she opened the door.

The sight that greeted her nearly costed her sanity. Gendo Ikari sat on a rocking chair, holding what looked like a baby, but turned out to be really the embryo of Adam. (O.o How disturbing is that?) In the corner, Yui Ikari (Isn't that woman's soul in Eva Unit 01 you ask. Well, this is a fanfic, so she suddenly pops into a human form) was cooking. Asuka identified the source of the horrible smell as the cauldron she was stirring. It looked kinda like a potion, but resembled a cement mixture even more. The cause of the smell quickly became apparent. It was burnt sugar. That's right; Yui Ikari was dumping bags and bags of sugar into the mixture, all the while talking to a young man wearing kitty ears. Corrections, it was Kaworu Nagisa talking to Yui Ikari.

Asuka didn't trust that guy. He spent waaaaaay too much time with her Shinji. Wait, did she just say Shinji was hers? Asuka decided her mind was rotting from all the time in the loony la-la land. The second reason was that when not stalking Shinji, this guy talked to Rei. What kind of freak does that for crying out loud! You got as much reaction from her as if you were talking to an eggplant. (Don't get mad at me for stating the truth. Rei is my favorite character. Rei Power! lol) and that annoying grin! Why does he grin so big! Doesn't it hurt is face!

"He's a Cheshire cat, that's why." Yui answered her thought without turning around.

Gendo looked up from the embryo of Adam. "If the world were rid of the ignorant, it would go much faster. Join us! Embrace the Instrumentality process, and look forward to Third Impact. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Yui spooned out a chunk of her concoction and hit Gendo with it. The commander immediately quieted. "Be a dear and take Adam, or would you like some of my stew?" She told Asuka.

Wordless for once, Asuka took the embryo and walked outside like a zombie. Once there, she shook her head angrily. "What did that witch do to me!"

Then, she felt something soft brush her arm. The embryo was growing wings! Gaping, Asuka could only look on and the membrane broke and out popped, a winged piggy! (sweat drop) The pig flew away. Asuka stood there for a few minutes. Then she shook her head. The first thing she would do when she got home is visit a psychiatrist. That's it. Walking blindly, she nearly stepped on Kaworu, who was lying on the ground with a big grin.

"Get out of my way!" Asuka yelled.

"Well, did Rei win the Miss Dominatrix contest?" Kaworu-cat said blithely, seeming unaware of Asuka's murderous intent.

"How the (insert bad word) would I know!" Asuka screamed, intensely frustrated.

"Where are you headed?" Kaworu-cat continued nonchalantly.

"God knows and god cares!" Asuka snapped, ready to pulverize his face.

"To the right is the mad Hatter, and to the left is the March Hare." Kaworu-cat said lazily, and then vanished.

Asuka spun around, looking for the 'Cheshire cat,' who had mysteriously vanished. A voice suddenly asked, "So, did Adam turn into a winged pig?"

"Yes…" Asuka replied suddenly unsure of herself. (Asuka? Unsure of herself? The world is coming to an end! Actually, it is in Evangelion)

"Just checking" The voice said cheerfully. "Have a nice day with mad people."

A bit confused, Asuka decided to ignore him and walked to the left. After a while, she saw the house of the March hare. It looked like a hare, with ear shaped chimneys and a wall covered with fur. "Well," Asuka promised herself savagely, "This could be fun."

To Be Continued…

Author's Note: Question of the chapter-Who will star as the March Hare? The Mad Hatter? Find out next time, on Asuka-chan in Wonderland! How was this chapter? We all know which role Shinji will be now. Yui is quite dominating actually. Please R&R!