Chapter 35
The inn was busy, the small common room was filled, all the rooms were taken. Syt and Issia had hired someone else to manage things for the day, they spent the last morning with their friends. Lloyd knew they were leaving, was sad, but not as sad as last time. Perhaps it was the fact that he did not have to say good bye to Syt's children, perhaps it was merely he did not remember them. Either way he was quiet, subdued, but he did not weep. He sat by his mother, sipping the stew that had been brought for him to eat. He didn't talk all that much, he allowed the adults to spend most of the time in quiet talk. He was so quiet in fact that Kratos was a bit worried. He said nothing though, did not raise anyone else's' worries with his own. He merely kept a firm eye on Lloyd. The morning came and went, and as the noon lull came upon the small business Kratos suggested that it was time to leave. Syt and Issia walked them to the city gate, walked with them outside the towns boundaries. At last, after walking a mile outside the boundaries of the town they stopped.
"I don't be seein' why you feel you have to leave and all..." Syt muttered, as he took Kratos' hand in a farewell hand clasp. "The men who were followin' you wont be anymore."
"The Desian's wont be following us, Cruxis might."
"Damn it all Ruian, you need to do somethin' 'bout this! You can't raise a kid on the run, it ain't healthy for 'im."
"I am working on that." The grim note in Kratos' voice made Syt grin.
"Aye, I be thinkin' yon leaders days are numbered!"
"They are Syt, they are."
"Take care of yourselves, and if you need anythin' you come here, understand?"
"I shall." Kratos smiled with genuine warmth. "I owe you a great deal my friend."
"Pah you owe me nothin' we're friends. Try to visit sometime on your wanderin's."
"We will make a point of it."
"And if he forgets, I'll remind him." Anna promised Issia as they broke off from their hug. They were off a little ways, so the men had no idea what Kratos was supposed to be reminded of. "Do you need me to go through what to do if Syt gives you problems over..."
"No I have it down pat."
"Good."
"And if Kratos starts to bother you over..."
"He wont, don't worry about it."
"Bother you about what Anna?" Kratos called to them, both woman started in surprise.
"Nothing dear!" Anna smiled. "We were just taking notes on various... domestic maneuvering."
"What she means m' friend." Syt confided to the baffled Seraphim. "Is that they're takin' notes on how to better back us into corners when we talk 'bout doin' somethin' that they don't want us to do."
"She was bad enough without a tutor." Kratos growled.
"Aye, no offense meant but I be thinkin' it's a good thing we be splitting paths. Anymore of this an' we'd have no say in nothin'."
"Indeed..."
Noishe barked, his tail a wag, a playful Lloyd riding him like a horse. Noishe was good about walking slowly, and staying in the sight of both Kratos and Anna, he had after all a great deal of practice in this. Syt sighed, bent down and gave the protozoan's head a rough shake.
"You take good care of them, you hear?"
Noishe nodded his head, then licked the fisherman. It was the first time in Kratos' memory that the protozoan had ever done so to anyone but himself, Anna, or Lloyd. They left the Syt and his wife shortly after that, just walked away from Luin with no particular goal in mind. Lloyd was thrilled to be on the road again, to ride on Noishe's back and watch the world slide by from his furry seat. Since they had no particular goal in mind, well except to find the main traveling road, they went at a leisurely pace. It was cold of course, the ground was muddy with piles of thin snow on the ground. That was part of the reason Kratos was not so adamant about Lloyd walking today, it was wretched weather to be walking in. Though he could not feel the cold there was a heaviness to cold water that hot did not have. Even if he didn't have that the fact his breath steamed the air around him was hint enough to the weather. There was something magical about a forest wrapped in snow, something beautiful about it, there was a sense of stillness, the tingle of life under the skin of ice. A shame thaw didn't have that same feel. It was chaotic, messy, it lacked that perfection. But what shoots of green that made if through the slush were perhaps all the more vivid for their drear surroundings. When Anna shivered Kratos paused, took off his cloak, then gently draped it around her shoulders. She smiled at him, then draped an arm over his shoulder, They walked like that for a while, paused only when Noishe grew weary, then continued. They were no rush, the world seemed to be hovering between it's seasons as they were hovering between their various options. Neither were in a great rush to make up their minds, to leap into the next stage, they only spent the time to enjoy the moment.
"Daddy, there's a big thing there!" Lloyd pointed to the house of salvation. Lloyd was, much to his happiness, perched on his father's shoulders. He leaned into his father's hair, or rather hood. "It's really big!"
"That is a house of salvation." Kratos looked at the wooden chapel, he frowned. "Sometimes when people are on pilgrimages they stop at these places for the night."
"What's a pilgerfudge?"
"Pilgrimage." Anna corrected, reaching up to adjust Lloyd's fur cloak so it better covered him. "It's a holy journey, a holy quest, Martel tells us to do them so that we can become better people."
Lloyd blinked, looked baffled, his small face then scrunched up in concentration.
"Are we on a pilgrafud?"
"Say it right Lloyd, it is called a Pilgrimage."
"Pilgrimage." Lloyd dragged out the word, slowed it down so they could hear him get every syllable right.
"That is better," Kratos smiled slightly, looked up to consider his son, then went back to brooding at the chapel. "No, we are not, we are on our own journey. That is why we can not go their for the night."
"Actually." Anna had a note of steel in her voice. "Me and Daddy still need to talk about that."
"There is no talk about it, I said no, I will not be swayed."
"Daddy's being grouchy again, but you know how he is."
"Anna!"
"Daddy's not a grouch!"
Surprised Anna looked at Lloyd. Normally he would back her up in this, not his father. Something in her gut clenched, a warning. Anna kept her voice neutral, as she responded to her son's words.
"Why do you say that?"
"I get cold..." Lloyd looked at the temple and shivered. Then he patted his stomach. His stomach grew cold when he looked at the temple? That was strange, very strange, neither Anna or Kratos had been coaching their boy to be scared of the church. They had yet to even tell him why they never went to one, why they avoided priests.
"Lloyd," Anna kept her voice steady. "Do the priests scare you?" Goddess if he said yes her and Kratos were going to have to talk... and soon. They couldn't let this go on.
"Nope."
"Does the temple scare you?" Kratos managed, she could hear the concern in his voice. Luckily Lloyd didn't pick up on the slight waver that was in his father's tone.
"A little."
"Why does it scare you Lloyd?"
"I dunno..." Lloyd shrugged.
"Does it have to do with that nightmare you've been having?" Anna hazard.
Lloyd squirmed in discomfort, he hated even thinking about that nightmare. Everything his parents brought it up he'd just go all quiet, he'd turn somber, and not answer them. Perhaps now he would tell them, perhaps... Lloyd only leaned against his father's head, snuggled as much as he could, and did not respond to his mother's question.
"Lloyd, answer your mother." Kratos barked. Lloyd knew that tone, knew to not immediately answer it meant he was in trouble, but he just remained silent, looked to his father with a helpless expression. Kratos frowned, he wasn't angry, but his frustration was scary enough for Lloyd. Their boy paled, looked away, and continued to be silent. "Someday soon," Kratos sighed, the anger draining out of him. "You need to tell us why you are scared Lloyd, that way we can help you not be scared anymore. Understood?"
"'K Daddy!" The happiness was back so fast it was hard to imagine that Lloyd was worried a second ago.
"Alright, since we will be camping, let us find a suitable spot for it shall we? Now then, what do we look for at first that tells us if a place is good to camp in or not?"
"High ground!"
"Very good... now what else does a good site need..."
xxx xxx xxx xxx
Lloyd lay in their tent, wrapped in a cocoon of both his and his father's blankets. Kratos, Anna, and Noishe sat around the small fire, it was well past midnight, worry kept Anna awake, Kratos did not need to sleep, and Noishe... Noishe was just up, whether sleep was needful for him or not Neither human nor seraphim really knew. The protozoan had his head resting in Anna's lap, a favored spot of his to plop his head down on. He looked up Anna, who in her worry was neglecting to scritch his ears. A hopeless whine snapped her back to reality, she smiled apologetically and set her hands through his silken fur. The world around them was wet, a slushy mess that the moonless night was well in concealing.
"Well," Kratos sighed, considered the maps he had laid out on a tree stump. "We are rather limited in our options. Frankly we have been almost everywhere on Sylvarant, it looks as if Tethe'alla might be where we should consider traveling to next."
"Kratos, it's not going to be easy anymore, Lloyd's too old to be going between worlds now. He'll start asking questions, and he's too young to be expected to keep a secret like that. We have to stay here until he gets mature enough to make the trip."
"Well where else do you recommend going?" Kratos snapped, his patience running thin. "PalmaCosta, Hima, Izoold, and Luin aren't options anymore. And I wont even hear any argument for Triet, the terrain is too rough, half of the children born their die from the elements."
"How about here?" Anna tapped a point on the map, and Kratos considered it.
"Iselia? Anna, Cruxis is lingering there like vultures over a kill. The chosen was born there, they are keeping surveillance over the whole area from here," Kratos tapped the edge of Triet's dessert marked as Efreet's Forge. "to here." He slid his digit across the map until he came to the small town. "Farther more," A spot in the forest was firmly tapped. "Have you forgotten what this area has in it?" Anna shivered, the ranch, that was Forcystus' ranch. Seeing her reaction Kratos winced at his own brutality. "I am sorry, I should not have said that."
"No you have a point, Goddess how could I have forgotten?"
Kratos sighed, considered some of the less prominent villages on the map, and shook his head.
"Any of these other places are too small, everyone knows everyone else in that place. We wouldn't be able to fit in at all..." The tent flap rustled, Kratos spun about, then released the hilt of his sword with a sigh. "Lloyd what have I told you about sneaking up on me like that?"
"Sorry..." Lloyd yawned. "couldn't sleep."
"No Lloyd, we're sorry, go back to bed I'll be in in a moment."
"I'm not sleepy..." Lloyd yawned, walked up to them and saw the maps. He looked from one to the other in confusion. "Pretty pictures." He noted, sitting down by Noishe.
"I guess so." Kratos smiled at his boy. "Lloyd, you should go back to bed. Your mother will be along in a moment."
"Watcha doin'?"
"Talking." Kratos sighed. "Adult talk."
"Adult talk?"
"Plans mainly, just working out our next destination, so on and so forth..."
"Where we goin'?"
"We don't know yet." Anna smiled. "That's the fun about traveling, we don't have to go anywhere we really don't want to and we can make it up as we go along."
"Oh," Lloyd leaned against Noishe, the protozoan craned his head around and gave the boy a lick on his head. "Silly Noshy, stop that!" Noishe paid no heed, continued to lick Lloyd until he had fully mussed up the boy's hair. The protozoan then picked the youngest Aurion up by the seat of his pants and carried him back to the tent. "Noshy, I'm not sleepy, I wanna go outside!" There was a bark and a bit of a struggle from inside the tent.
"I better go in and save him." Anna did not specify whom she was saving though. From the racket in the tent one or both of them needed saving. As she left him Kratos folded up the maps. She had a point, what could they do with Lloyd in tow, how could they slip between the worlds. Should they try to hide it, try to explain? Not knowing an answer was rare for the seraphim, it was unsettling. Then suddenly he did know at least one of his answers, Anna had given it to him. They'd just make it up as they went along.
"Daddy." Lloyd was perched on Noishe, his eyes thoughtful. Anna was in Asguard getting there supplies. Kratos had objected at first, but then bowed to her wisdom. He was too well known here, he had worked here for a span, had become something of a local legend. Anna was not so well known, had done no great deeds here, so it would be safer for her in the city by herself. What rankled at the seraphim was that is was "safer" not "safe". But then he could never offer totally safety to those he loved, he had far too many enemies for that to be true. After mulling about it for so long it was nice to have Lloyd speak up, to drag him out of his mental pit.
"Yes, is something wrong?" He turned to his boy, whose eyes were his own. Concentration crumpled his son's normally open face, and perhaps a bit of confusion.
"Daddy, do you eat?"
"What do you mean?" Kratos mentally winced, this was not a train of though he wanted Lloyd to pursue too far. "You have seen me eat with your mother and you all the time."
"But you don't eat lots like mommy and me, only a little bit..."
"Some people have smaller appetites, I just happen to be one of those people."
"Oh, why's that?"
"I guess it's because I'm a bit special, a bit different from everyone else."
Lloyd giggled. "Daddy's special cuz he's Daddy!"
"I guess so." Kratos smiled, bent down and ruffled his son's hair.
"You're the best Daddy in the whole world."
"I wouldn't go that far..." Kratos knew his face was turning red at the unexpected praise.
"Yes you are! You really are!" Once Lloyd got an idea it was impossible to shake him from it, he would take no argument from anyone on his idea, not even his father. "Mommy even said so!"
"She did now?" Kratos laughed. "Well you both can think whatever you want, I still don't fully agree with you."
"But you are!" Lloyd crossed his arms in front of his chest, a glare on his small face.
"And why is that?" Kratos asked, a humored smile on his lips.
"Because I said so!"
"That is not a good answer." Kratos scolded gently. "When you answer a question 'because I said so' you give the worst response ever. You have to have a reason, a real reason, not because someone else told you, or because everyone else thinks it is right, those are not answers, they are excuses. 'because I said so' is even worse, because it is not even an excuse, it does not justify anything."
"What?" Lloyd now looked totally confused, he was after all only three and a half.
"Just find another reason." Anna had told them she would re-join there campsite tomorrow morning, it was only noon. Lloyd's attempts at finding another excuse would probably prove to be the days entertainment for them both.
"'K..." Lloyd hopped off Noishe and plopped down on the cold wet ground, his face screwed up in thought. Kratos bit his tongue to keep from laughing. Lloyd was so serious about this, determined to prove his father wrong and show him that he was the best "daddy in the world". After an hour of sitting on the cold ground Lloyd smiled, stood up, and looked around. Daddy was sitting by a pile of wood, counting the pieces for some funny reason. But then Daddy was funny sometimes. As he came closer Daddy turned from whatever it was he was doing with the wood. "I love you!"
"I love you too," Daddy did a quiet laugh, shook his head. "but you forgot what you were thinking about didn't you?"
"Did not, that's why you're the best Daddy ever!"
Daddy had a funny look on his face, he cocked his head to the side, and his hair fell into his eyes.
"I love you, that makes you the best Daddy ever, because I love you!"
"Now where did this come from?" Daddy's voice sounded all funny. Kind of tight, like he was trying not to cough or something.
"I dunno." Lloyd shrugged, plopped down on a new patch of cold ground.
"Come closer, I'll get the fire started so you can warm up a bit."
"N..nn..not cold..." Lloyd's teeth were chattering even though he didn't want them to.
"Lloyd," Surprised by Daddy's serious tone he looked up. "Don't ever try to hide if you feel sick, or hot, or cold, ever. You have to tell me what you feel."
"'K." As he watched Daddy smack two rocks together a strange thought came to Lloyd. One much older then he was, and because he was so young he blurted it out without thinking. "Daddy, are you cold, ever?" Daddy stopped smacking the rocks together. He looked at him, and his face was hurt. "Daddy, did I say somethin' bad?"
"No... it's not that." Daddy pulled the hair out of his eyes, looked him with the serious look. Daddy was never serious with him, he always smiled. But there wasn't a smile on his face now, there was a frown. It wasn't Daddy's angry frown face though, it was a funny look, kind of like when his hair fell into his eyes. "Do you remember how I told you Daddy's special?"
"Un huh." Lloyd nodded.
"That's part of why Daddy's special, I... I do not feel cold or hot, that is why I need you and Mommy to tell me sometimes."
"I'm sorry!"
"It is not your fault, do not apologize."
"'K..." Daddy seemed so sad now, he had to do something to make Daddy happy again. "Daddy, did your daddy tell you all your stories?"
"No, my father was not a good man Lloyd, he never told me stories."
Daddy seemed sadder then ever.
"Did Noshy?"
"Noshy? No," Daddy laughed. "Noishe never told me stories, he is not one for talk."
"Who told you them?"
"My mother told me a few." Daddy smiled, looked at something far away. "My friends told me a few more, and the rest I picked up as I went along."
"Oh. Can you tell me all of them?"
"All!" Daddy laughed. "Right now?"
"Please Daddy, please!"
"I can not, not at this moment. If I told you all of my stories we would be here for years and years. I will tell you what," Daddy went back to striking rocks together over the wood. "What I will do is try to tell you as many of my stories as I we travel around. I also promise to tell you one every night."
"Every night!"
"Yes, every night."
Lloyd cheered, then ran to his father and gave him a hug. He was firmly scolded about getting to close to Daddy while Daddy was starting a fire but Lloyd didn't care. He knew he had the best daddy in the whole world now! He just knew it!