Chapter 40
The dessert trek was brutal. Lloyd suffered so much. He had tried to be brave for them; he tried to hide the tears, the pain. Kratos' heart twisted in him as he recalled the faltering steps, the soft grunt as small knees hit the sun baked earth. Lloyd looked at them with tear filled eyes and a smile forced on his lips. Though he bleed from his scrapped knees he smiled at them, pulled himself to his feet, and tried to go on. Frozen in horror Kratos and Anna had done nothing, the seraphim was first to snap back to reality, he had fumbled through their packs while Anna had pulled Lloyd into her lap. Seeing the bottle of 'stingy stinky stuff' as he had once called it Lloyd had protested, said his "ouch" wasn't that bad. Kratos had ignored his son's words, poured a generous amount of tonic on the scrap of cloth and advanced on his protesting boy.
"Daddy, it doesn't... Owwie! Ouch!"
The tears had fallen at that point, he cried as his boy's cut stung him. It ripped at Kratos' heart; it ripped him to shreds to have to cause Lloyd pain. But better this now then an infection later.
"I can walk!" Lloyd had whined as he was put on the protozoan's back. "It's too hot to ride Noshy Mommy!"
"Hush Lloyd, it won't be for long..."
Anna's voice shook and she stared at her son's skinned knees as if transfixed by the wound. How right they were. The heat was killing Lloyd, was wearing his energy down to nothing. He began to mutter about seeing water; his eyes had the glazed look of someone under the influence of mirages. Kratos and Anna had not even discussed it, they gave the last of the water to Lloyd, and it did bring him back for a little while. A handful of hour later his small hands went limp, he started to slip off of the protozoan's back. Noishe's shrill bark made Kratos whip around; he was barely able to catch his son before he hit the ground.
"Kratos, is he alri- The familiar silver blue light that whispered around her husbands hands was enough to tell Anna that Lloyd was not alright. She stood in the heat, forced her head to stop throbbing and ordered her churning stomach to settle down. She could not get ill as well, Lloyd and Kratos needed her. As the light faded away Anna was surprised to see Lloyd's clothes were wet, as a matter of fact it looked as if he had been wetted down. Kratos sighed, opened his dark eyes, then shifted his wet boy in his arms and looked at her. She could see black rings under his eyes that hadn't been there a moment before.
"Worked outside my primary element." Kratos explained, his vague words left her even more confused, but she nodded. That was a mistake, the pain in the back of her head got worse. But then he was so tired from his spell casting that he failed to notice her pain. They continued onward, walked through the whole day and night to the forests' that surrounded Iselia. In the shadows of the trees they found solace from the scalding sands. After a bit of searching they stumbled on a small lake. Kratos set up the tent, boiled some water in a pot with mana born flames, and tended everything as his drained family only sat and panted in the shadows. Anna said nothing, went to the lake and did all she could to cool down. Unlike all the times before Lloyd did not protest over his bath, and he eagerly drank the warm water that his father offered him. They were all quiet, having skirted on the edge of dehydration and ultimately death Anna was humbled by the experience. Lloyd was only tired, he went to bed the second they let him. It was only when Lloyd was asleep that the seraphim saw the state of exhaustion that his wife was in; she protested that she was up to staying awake just a bit longer. Kratos firmly ordered Anna to bed. He went so far as to threaten her with magic induced sleep if she said another word. It was with a grumble that Anna allowed herself to be carried to the tent and tucked in like an over large child.
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"Daddy, oomph!"
Lloyd fell from Noishe's back. His small form hit the gravely road and rolled. A roar, a beast's roar of triumph cut through the night air. A claw had gotten lucky, snagged the belt around Lloyd's waist and pulled him from Noishe's back. Anna screamed, the protozoan growled, angled his paws so he could kick of one of the passes' walls and turn around. Kratos panted out a curse as he ran alongside the protozoan, he snarled at Noishe to keep running, and turned to look at the scene.
Damn it they only needed to get over this hill, the monsters didn't dare cross into Efreet's Forge day or night.
Another oath fell from his lips as he turned around and drew his blade. He could hear his boys screams of panic, could see the drag marks. No Lloyd, you can't die, I won't allow it! He didn't even feel the pain, only was aware of the silver blue light that illuminated the path around him. He followed the drag marks, followed the sound of panting and shrieks of terror. He scrambled up the steep hill, crested the top and looked down to see a massive brown thing with scythe claws trying desperately to shake Lloyd off of its' paw. Somehow by sheer luck Lloyd's belt had gotten snagged and the monster wanted to free its' paw first before eating. With a sharp snap of its wrist the monster flicked Lloyd off, Lloyd went flying and landed with a whimper. "No, no you will not take my family from me, no one will!" The beast snapped it's eyes up to him. So small, mere slits on is shaggy face... It lifted its toothy muzzle and answered his roar with a roar of its own. Other shadowy creatures, lesser monsters, scavengers, hung back just out of the range of his enhanced vision. They were good at what they did; they recognized another predator when they saw it, and waited for the upcoming killing to be done so they could feast. The beast roared at him, it's brown fur black in the night, its' massive hand like paws reached for him, even as its' short stubby feet pushed it forward. Its' long sword digits snapped together, the rasp of claw on claw was similar to the sound of steel on steel. Any other man would have been daunted, would have been terrified.
He was not "any other man" however.
"No one hurts my family" Kratos whispered, his flamberge flared to life in his hand as the blade responded to his rage.
The monster growled, gripping the rocky earth with its' fore paws the beast threw itself forward. Its' smaller hind legs scrambled, sent a rain of gravel behind it. It drooled now, looked at him as it would any other human foolish enough to challenge its' might. He lifted his blade in mock salute, then not one to keep a foe waiting Kratos ran down the hill. One paw reached for him, to pull him into a vice of death. Kratos growled, whipped his sword around and the beast staggered back. It looked dumbly at three of its fingers fell under the force of the swing. For a long moment it looked at its one disfigured paw, than it looked to him. Hate burned in its sunken eyes. Had it any sense it would have run, it would have seen the pure hate in Kratos' face and turned tail and bolted. The other paw snapped around, Kratos seeing the massive shoulder tense knew the strike was coming. He welcomed it, welcomed the fact that the monster seeked it's own destruction. This time he plunged his blade into the beasts shoulder, and wrenched his sword side to side. It howled, blood splurted from the wound, but stubbornly the monster brought its whole paw around. Kratos grunted under the hit, his smaller frame went flying into the natural wall. He shrugged off the hit, and showing no sign of pain from a blow that would have rendered anyone else comatose calmly regarded his sword still stuck in the monster's shoulder.
It was a vulking inconvenience, but not a dangerous one.
He pulled a dagger from his boot, threw. He watched in satisfaction as the beast brought both its arms up to slash at it's face. The dagger that was neatly embedded in it's right eye wasn't going anywhere however.
"Powers of earth and dark hear the cries of this soul whom has not yet scumbled to eternal slumber! Hear their cries along with my own! Open wide the earth, render them unto their true reward Grave!"
A shard of earth rose, slammed into the beasts stomach and slid through the thick pelt with the ease of a well cast spear. The monster staggered back a step; its entrails were wrapped around the multiple ridges that marred the stone. It managed all of a step before another shard ripped form the earth and impaled it neatly in the back. The tip of the stone poked out around the vicinity Kratos presumed its heart was. Again and again the beast was impaled; it all but fell apart under the onslaught. If he had cared any he would have called in the shards, would have set them back to the earth so not to permanently scar the ground. He didn't really give a rat's ass about that though, not right now.
Forsaking sword and knife Kratos went to his son, bent down and with a trembling hand felt at Lloyd's throat. A drop of blood fell from his hands' ran his boys cheek like a tear, trembling Kratos set his boy in his lap, and gently felt the left side of his son's throat. There was a pulse! Thank God there was a pulse under his hands! Lloyd moaned, his eyes fluttered open and he looked at him in confusion. Kratos felt his wings flick and he coughed and sheathed them. He hadn't meant Lloyd to see them quite yet
"Daddy, you're hurt!"
"I'm fine Lloyd, so long as I have you I am fine"
He knelt then wrapped his boy in a hug and wept.
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I'm a horrible Father, a horrible Husband. If I had any soul I would just leave them alone, Mithos wouldn't hunt them if I wasn't around, they could have a normal life with me out of it. They would be safe, they would be...
"Whine?" Noishe had somehow padded up behind him, he was looking at the seraphim with his expressive eyes. He then knelt, set his head on Kratos' lap and closed his eyes.
"Did I do the right thing Noishe, did I make a mistake with all of this? I've caused them so much pain, I've hurt them." Against his will, it seemed, the seraphim found himself stroking Noishe's massive head. "Every time we have to move on because of me they get hurt. Lloyd isn't having a normal childhood. Because he lives like this he will never have any friends. Anna. Gods above, what pain have I caused her? All I do is make them suffer! They bleed for me Noishe, they die for me every day! I can't take this! I never should have done?"
"Grrr!" Noishe showed him his impressive fangs and the seraphim started in shock. "Whine, whine, Bark!"
"I don't talk dog Noishe." Kratos snapped in his irrational anger. He started to push the protozoan off of him but Noishe stiffened, he dug his paws in and Kratos could only move him by causing pain. Satisfied that Kratos was done fighting him Noishe set his head on his master's lap and looked at him with his heart in his eyes. "You act like you have all the answers Noishe, yet you can't tell me, what Hell your life must be."
"Whine." Noishe shook his head.
"You're telling me that your life isn't bad? I've lived four thousand years my friend, and all it feels like is an extended funeral."
"Bark!" Hearing the note of warning Kratos turned, and saw Lloyd stumble out of the tent. Lloyd yawned, rubbed his eyes with a chubby hand, and stretched. Seeing his Daddy and Noishe he smiled, tried to say something, but was interrupted by another yawn that almost cracked his jaws. Though having been treated with arcane and none arcane measures Kratos could pick out the faint burses from that past week's tumble and fight; could still see the signs of fading dehydration. They had decided to stay at the lake a few days, for all of them to fully recover.
Lloyd looked at his Daddy and saw his sad face.
He saw Noishe sitting by Kratos. And he put it together in the wrong way.
"Bad Noshy, don't bite Daddy!"
"Whine?" Noishe looked a bit hurt at the accusation.
"Lloyd, hush, your mother is sleeping, like you should be."
"Nosy barkin' woke me up." Lloyd grumbled, giving Noshy a nasty look. "Daddy, Momma said you should be sleepin'."
"Daddy will come to bed when he is tired Lloyd. That is one of the nice things about being an adult; we get to make our own bedtimes."
"Daddy," Lloyd squirmed, he was struggling to put something together in his mind. "Daddy, what was that shiny thingy I saw? You don't have it now."
"What shiny thing, my sword? You've seen my sword plenty of tim-" Noishe smacked Kratos with a paw.
"Bad Noshy!" Lloyd scolded, waving a small finger at the protozoan. The sight almost made Kratos bust out into laughter. Noishe was a great deal taller then Lloyd, one snap of those jaws could probably kill his son, but there was Lloyd wagging a finger at him and Noishe was flinching like a bad school boy.
"Lloyd, that's enough, Noishe is just a little mad at me because we were having a disagreement."
"Desagurmud?" "No, disagreement." God's where would Lloyd be if he wasn't here to correct his pronunciation. No one would understand him! "We were having a word fight."
"Oh," Lloyd looked sad at that. "Are you done?"
"We are."
Noishe's growl said louder then words that they weren't.
"Stars are out." Lloyd noted, craning his neck back to look at the sky.
"They always come out every night." Kratos smiled slightly, tried to push his earlier thoughts to the back of his mind, they weren't cooperating though. "Lloyd, I have a question." Seeing those eyes, so much like his own snap on him he almost lost his train of thought. "When we go to own and you see all those other children? Do you ever want what they have; do you ever get lonely or sad because we move around so much?"
"Nope."
"Really?" Kratos' intense gaze made Lloyd flush.
"Sometimes." Lloyd whispered, looking back at the tent as if he was scared Mommy would come out and get mad at him.
"Lloyd, have you talked about this with Anna... Umm Mommy already?"
"Yeah..." Anger stirred in him, but he kept it off of his face out of his voice. "What did she tell you about this?"
"I asked Momma if why we moved a big lot was cuz you're special. Momma said no, tha' was part of it but no everytin'. I asked I we could make you un-special, if that'd make the bad people stop botherin' us."
"And?"
"Momma said no. Momma said that the bad people thought she was special too, and they couldn't make her un-special cuz she'd get really sick and maybe die."
Ice slid into Kratos' soul. He and Anna were over due for a long talk.
"Momma wasn't happy that I got sad 'bout wantin' to live one somewhere lots." Lloyd admitted the last with a bright blush on his face; he looked at his father with such a pathetic expression that Kratos felt tears smart in his eyes.
"Lloyd, what you felt isn't wrong, it is only normal. I'm not mad, and I don't love you any less because you feel like this." Kratos had to reassure his son. He knew what it felt like to be unloved, how he had in his youth mistook his mother's spats of frustration as a lack of love. It was only when his own father had entered his life did he learn the difference. He did not want Lloyd to go through that, not even for a second.
"Mommy got mad."
"Mommy is a strange woman." Kratos said with a snort. "Don't tell her I said that, she'd cook tomato soup for a week if she knew I said that."
"Tomatoes, ick!"
"Ick indeed." Kratos closed his eyes, he could not look his son in the face while he asked this last question. "Lloyd, if Mommy and I were to leave you at Syt's for a year or so, would you mind? You could live somewhere lots for a bit while Mommy and I deal with the bad people. And when we came back we'd move just one more time, and that would be it."
"No!" Lloyd flared; Kratos was shocked to see tears in his boy's eyes. "I don' want you to go anywhere. Don't leave Daddy please don't!"
"Of course not, it was just an idea of mine." Noishe bit him as if to say it was a bad one.
"Noshy, bad!" Noishe whinned, looked at Lloyd with hurt in his eyes.
"I love Noshy but don't bite Daddy 'K?"
"Bark!" Noishe's tail wagged frantically.
"Silly Noshy." Lloyd walked up to them, and sat by his father and looked at the stars. He put his hand over his fathers' and gently lifted it up. Kratos allowed this, confused and wanting to see where Lloyd was going with this. "Autumn star there." Lloyd pointed to the west horizon. "Winter star there." Lloyd pointed with his father's hand to the red star that was just peaking over the horizon. "Mithos going bye-bye. Kratos coming out!" "Yes," Kratos' voice caught in his throat.
"I guess you can look at it like that." "Daddy's star right there," Lloyd instructed firmly, he pointed again at the red star with both their hands. "Red star, winter star..."
"You are becoming quite the expert." Kratos whispered.
"I remember everything Daddy taught me!" Lloyd hugged his father, but there was desperation, a pain, to the old gesture. He was trying to hide it but Lloyd was such a bad liar. Once Kratos too had been a bad liar, necessity had made him a good one over the centuries.
"Lloyd, I am sorry, I never meant to hurt you."
"That's OK!" Lloyd looked at him as if wanting to ask another question.
"What is it Lloyd?"
"Daddy, the sparkly thing, what was it?"
"I'll tell you when you are older."
Noishe growled, then yalped in shock when Lloyd smacked him on the snout.
"Noshy, be nice!"
"Lloyd, that was uncalled for, apologize."
"Sowy Noshy."
"That is a little better, never hit anyone, ever, no mater how bad they are. You only hit people who are going to hurt you, and that's only if you can't get to me or your mother safely."
"Yes Daddy."
"Next time you hit anyone you will be spanked, understand?"
"Yes Daddy."
"Good, you should probably go to bed, you look tired."
"I'm not sleepy!"
"Lloyd..." Kratos rose an eyebrow and Lloyd sighed, he knew that tone and expression, he also knew that he would get spanked if he argued with it too much. That didn't stop him from trying however.
"Five more minuetes?"
"No."
"But..."
"To bed with you,now!"
"Aww..."
"And don't drag your boots all the way back to the tent or you'll be scrubbing them in the morning."
"Yes sir." Kratos snorted, crossed his arms in front of his chest as Lloyd did drag his feet to the tent and kicked up a great deal of dust. Kratos would make Lloyd scrub those boots, they were overdue anyways. Noishe yawned, looked at the tent longingly then looked at Kratos. "Go on, you need sleep too you know." Noishe whined, licked the seraphim's face, then went inside after Lloyd.
There was a moment's peace. You could hear the wind sighing through the branches, the calls of crickets. All was peaceful, silent, yet alive in it's silence. It all lasted for five seconds.
"Noshy!"
"Wha- Noishe, out! Now! Don't you dare take that, those are my blankets!"
"Noshy Noshy Noshy!" A clap punctured each recitation of the protozoan's nick name.
"Lloyd, please be quiet, Mommy's sleeping. Or rather she was... Don't you dare kick me out of my blankets! I was sleeping here first! No, don't lie there you're kicking Lloyd!"
"Noshy fuzzy soft!"
"Off! No, not on my legs, I want to have legs in the morning! Ouch, don't sit their, do you think I want that in my face!"
"Noshy funny!"
"Sweet Martel, my legs are not a bed, get off! Kratos, help!"
"Night night Noshy! Night night Mommy!"
The temptation was too strong to resist.
"Good night Lloyd, Noishe, sleep well dear."
"Mr. Aurion you will be having tomato soup for a month you hear me, a month!"
"Ick tomatoes!" "Don't you dare take his side on this Lloyd! Help mommy a bit try to get Noshy off of her."
"Bark!"
"Un uh, Daddy said not to."
Oh great... just great...
"A year, you hear me Kratos? A year!"