Now and Then Chapter 4: September The 30th October The 1st 1976, a harry potter fanfic

Chapter Three
(September. 30th, 1976)

It had been a week since Remus had begun helping Kit out. Oddly enough, despite the fact he was only to be helping her on Thursdays and Fridays, he found himself down in the library where she usually was even on the following Monday. Being around her was nice, she always looked sad, but then again the girl always had a witty comment for anything.

The only thing was, had been the simple fact that they only talked in the library. She was only at meals for just a few minutes, taking quick bites of anything before leaving as fast as she came, and she was only in the common room during the day for only seconds. Usually he found that she spent her time either in the Library or the Girls dormitory.

Currently he sat next to her, quietly working on his own homework as she worked on hers. Occasionally he would glance over her shoulder to make sure she was on the right track before going back to his work. He chewed at the end of his sugar quill (Bad habits form fast and chewing on the end of a normal quill was never as pleasant) and his fingers would drum on the table.

Three more day's until the full moon. He could feel the affects, he was tired and it was only half past seven. Kit had commented on that fact just minutes before. "Do you feel okay?" was her question for him, he had nodded and flashed a smile.

He was okay, Kit was good company. Her voice was quiet and not as high-strung as most of the other girls her age. She didn't speak much, but when she did it made for good conversation.

They got along better then he thought they would. He didn't even mind getting teased by Sirius when both he and Kit wandered into the Gryffindor tower after a study session.

Today, she was humming…a habit of hers that he had found out about on the first night of study. She hummed with her train of thought, and today she was humming a David Bowie song that she had heard over and over again during summer holidays. Remus actually didn't mind the humming, occasionally when he knew the tune he would end up humming with her and they would simply smile at one another.

They were…a perfect pair. Remus smiled at the thought as he chewed on his quill some more, out of the corner of his eye he glanced at her. She wasn't as pretty as Lily or any of the other girls he knew, Kit was run of the mill…but that sadness that was always with her…it drew him to her.

He liked her.

A school-boy crush was born.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

That same evening, after their study session, and after they walked into the Gryffindor tower together. Kit found herself in the girl's dormitories once again thinking of the older boy that was positively handsome when he chewed at his quill so deep in thought. She sat on her four poster bed, with the curtains drawn closed she hugged at her pillow.

He was so nice to her.

No one even really seemed to realize that she existed, but Remus had hung out with her everyday after dinner. She liked that, he was nice and funny. Occasionally when they were walking back to the Gryffindor tower he would talk about the things that his friends and him would do, funny stories that caused her to smile just a little more.

No one had ever paid so much attention to her. Not even her parents, then again she didn't want them to pay attention to her…because when they did…

'Don't think about that…' Kit scolded herself as she closed her eyes, snuggling the pillow even more. Usually her train of thought went back there to that dark place. Actually, her train of thought was usually almost always on that dark place, thinking of her parents, thinking of home…

But not lately…because she had other things to think about.

And one of those things was the only person kind enough to ever be her friend.

Remus.

He was so nice. She just wished he would ask her out…actually prayed for it really. To know that he liked her the same way that she very well liked him.

It would never happen though.

Like her father said, boys didn't like quiet girls like her.

With that thought alone she sat up and headed towards the bathroom with a small dagger hidden in her hand.

It was the only way to make her feel better.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(October. 1st, 1976)
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Remus was starting to feel sick to his stomach. Just knowing that the full moon was so close made his insides clench up and spasm. The thought of eating the mince meat pie that was on his dinner plate in front of him made him want to vomit. Gingerly he pushed his plate away.

"You okay there Moony?" James asked, concern showing for his friend.

"Fine…just…well you know." Remus replied, and yes…James did in fact know. James, Sirius, and Peter had spent years learning how to be able to transform into an animal form just to be able to make his nights as a werewolf pass smoothly and quickly. Even knowing this simple fact, he still worried and thought about it into the days leading up to the moon.

"Are you going to eat that?" Was Peter's only concern, it caused a slight smile to break out on Remus' face before he pushed his plate over towards his friend.

"We really have to introduce you to girls…maybe they'll keep your mind off food." Came Sirius' voice, and the banter between the friends began.

Remus leaned back, days like these…even if he felt like crap were the best days of his young life. To be surrounded by friends…accepted for who he was. It was great.

Out of the corner of his eye, he seen Kit get up from the table. It seemed as if she only arrived seconds before…why was she leaving so early already. His eyes would watch as she tossed her book bag over her shoulders before darting between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor table towards the exit of the great hall.

"Well, since I'm done I guess I'll be off for the library…" This comment from Remus caused a few sly looks from his friends.

"Sure are spending a lot of time at the library Moony." Came from Sirius as Remus stood up from his seat.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to think our lil' boy is finally learning how to be a man." Count on James to add his two cents in.

"Probably snogging in the restricted section…that's probably why they always come in so late…"

Remus rolled his eyes, and as he left the table he could still hear their comments. Not that it bothered him. He was used to the friendly teasing…but he really wanted to talk to Kit. She looked so sad today…again.

Was there ever a day when she didn't look sad?

It was easy to catch up to her, she was much shorter then him, therefore his legs caught him up within moments of leaving the Great Hall. He fell into silent step next to her, and she glanced up for a moment acknowledging that he was there. It was a quiet walk towards the Library, occasionally the paintings would mumble something to them but other then that the halls were silent because everyone else was stuffing their face at dinner.

Both of them gave a wave at Madam Pince, and she grinned back at them. The librarian seemed to like both Remus and Kit. They were quiet, and when they spoke it was usually always in whispers. The only time they caused a stir was when Kit had accidentally opened the wrong book on the table and it wailed like a banshee.

They took a seat at their normal table and both set about pulling their books out. "In potions today Severus managed to get covered in something that caused him to change into a girl…" Remus muttered in hopes that it would get Kit to smile.

She did, just a little bit. "Imagine that…must have put his knickers in a twist…" Remus grinned, she smiled at least, even if her response was rather emotionless…it was there.

After about five minutes of working side by side together with out a word he finally spoke. "Kit, are you…um…are you okay? You seem really sad today." Way to state the obvious Remus. Kit gave a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"I'm fine, just thinking I suppose."

"About?" He asked, but realized his mistake right away. He shouldn't pry, it wasn't his place…he had only known her for a week and a day…not that he was keeping track or anything.

"Stuff." Was all she would say, a frown set on her face as she firmly looked down at the parchment in front of her. He could see it though…the splatters of wetness that fell from her eyes to the yellow parchment without much of a sound.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Why was he so concerned? Had been the question on Kit's mind, as she studied her essay on Dragons and why they have been made illegal that was in front of her. She didn't know why, but she was crying. Again. Overly sensitive today. After spending last night locked in the bathroom stall, hacking her arms up she found it hard to fall asleep when she was done. Kit's mind could do nothing but think about all the bad things.

She focused on the bad things by far to much. Because there was indeed, more bad then good in her life. At the current moment the only good things in her life was being at Hogwarts and having Remus for a friend. The bad things on the other hand, abusive parents, hurting herself, being so horribly behind in her classes (even with Remus' help), having no one that understood, avoiding most people at all cost, getting house points taken off for being late to class…

So many bad things…

She felt something on her back, when her watery hues glanced up she found that Remus was holding his hand out and it was gently resting on her back. He was far to good for her…he was so cute…adorable…handsome. He smelled like sandalwood and cinnamon. He was funny and caring…

"I'm sorry if I upset you." He said, and that only made her tears worse. 'He shouldn't care!' her thoughts were yelling at her. He shouldn't care about her, it would be easier if Remus was like all the others and simply turned his head when she started to cry. Ignorance was bliss wasn't it? He was better off not getting involved…

And yet, Kit couldn't help crawling into his offered embrace.

She cried into his shoulder, sitting on his lap there in the library with his arms wrapped around her.

It felt so right. It felt so wrong.

She was letting him get close to her.

And she liked it. Because he felt so safe. He gently rocked her back and forth, and when she finally stopped crying no words were said. He'd press his lips to her forehead sending chills down her spine, and they would start on their work silently together.

With her still sitting in his lap.