Hello there, loyal fans!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I felt I should post …well, because its been forever…DUN DUN DUN!!! School. To my crazy ass reviewers:

Monikka DaLuver: Well, yeah. It only makes sense that Rikka is like you…she was based off of you… Mwazles…kinda scary… By the way, I'm still gonna diss the pink and I shall be supported in this action by some of my darker fans… Ugh. Fine. I'll have Rory talk to 'Drakie' about 'plastering his hair to his head.' Okay, and Barbie shall sing that 'I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie World' song. (I AM SOOOOOOOO NOT!!!) ..later. I might use it as the song of the chappie. Hey, I prefer lemon squares over chocolate fudge ones anyways.

SillyBandit: The moon thing has been requested a lot so…I'M NOT GONNA TELL YA. evil laughter And yes, caps lock is evil. Well, I'm glad that my story is so special to you. (Geez. Your life must be boring. A lot like mine…)

Smrt Cids: Well that explains some of it. Well, you've managed to confuse me more! YOU EVIL, EVIL BEING!! ahem Updating!

Erised Desire: Yes, meet my pain killers. Bob (Tylenol) and George (Advil) and Fred (Ibuprofen).

Haven Bloodcrow: Well, I'm glad that Blaise, the bloody Bastard, pleases you. Heh. Well, I do like Blaise, but ya know, somebody has to be the bad guy, besides Drakie of course. And I have a surprise twist coming up, so PREPARE YOURSELF WITH GNOMES BEARING FLAMING SPORKS! insane laughter

Nancy: Well, ummm…sorry, but we've already destroyed Canada. We've drowned them in their syrup and heh…set the squirrels on you…Heh. Does this make me a bad person? Eh, oh well. I can still call you Frenchie though, right? FAAAAAANTASSTICCC!! And OF COURSE, you may borrow some zombie cows! Yes, I have already used them on MY brother's room! Ah…I can still hear the screams…You deserve a cookie. YOU WERE MY 75TH REVIEWER!! YAY, GO ME!!!

Hey, where's crayon z the lunatic? Piedermort? Yanely person thing? I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!!!

Anyone else who reviewed, thankies! I'm too lazy to write back.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE SONG. IT HAS MAJOR CLUES.

Onto the wonderful story, but first, the song for today's episode is: VINDICATED by DASHBOARD CONFESSIONALS!!!! APPLAUD THEM!!

"So, what you're saying is that when you feed trolls Rikka's lemon squares…they turn…pink?" Troy asked, disbelievingly. "That's what happened…" Rory shrugged. "Hmmm…how the hell is that possible?" "How the freak should I know?" "Well, if you don't know that, can you explain WHY MY FOOD IS MOVING?!?!" Troy screamed, looking at his chicken. "Umm…Troy? That's because Ty is moving it with his…spork." "Ummm…oh. Heh."

Hope dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption

Troy, Ty, and Rory looked on while Rikka, the self proclaimed chicken lady, was waltzing around the room, clucking and flapping her arms. Occasionally she would jump on the back of a boy or on top of a table. The three watched as she jumped on the Ravenclaw table and with a flick of her wand, the song the Funky Chicken was playing. She then forced the bulk of the Gryffindor table (her favorites excluded: Ginny, Rory, Luna, Ty, and Troy.) to dance the incredibly idiotic movements with her. However, Ty and Troy immediately joined, followed by the light hearted Hufflepuffs and then the laughing Ravenclaws. The Slytherins, however stayed stationary, but with a flick of her own wand, Rory forced her least favorite Slytherins to dance. (as well as some of her favorites) Blaise, Draco, Pansy, Crabbe, Millicent, Goyle, and Brandon all jumped on top of their own table and joined in, to the astonishment of their housemates.

Winding in and Winding out

During the mindless dancing of the confused and unwilling Slytherins, they had unknowingly been stomping about, causing food to splash everywhere. Goyle's foot had already landed in the pumpkin juice, Pansy's in the mashed potatoes, and Blaise's in the bowl of gravy. Now, unbeknownst to the dancing group, the very irate Slytherins sitting at the table had formed a plan, consisting of two words: FOOD FIGHT.

The shine of it has caught my eye

Ketchup, mayonnaise, butter, bread, tomatoes, chicken, gravy, etc. slapped the now Macarena-ing Slytherins dead on. Unfortunately, however, some of it went whizzing by them…

And roped me in

Gryffindors and Ravenclaws hid as the rain of food bombarded them. However, others weren't so lucky. When the students under the tables heard the downpour of 'splat'ing on their tables stop, they got up to see the devastation. Rory and Ty, who got out of the way in time, watched Troy as he continued to dance voluntarily, covered in random food products. Apparently the squirting of ketchup and the big chunk of peanut butter that were on his robes hadn't fazed him in the least. The two watched as the Macarena stopped and the tango began. Troy decided to start a Conga line. He grabbed Ty and pushed him in front of himself, soon followed by the dancing Slytherins, Monica and Rikka. Rory glanced around at the destruction. There was food all over the walls and on the tables. She glanced over at the Wonder (why-the-freak-they-lived?!) boys. Potter was covered in…was that pickle juice? And Weasley had mayonnaise on his pants, and a banana Potter just rubbed all over his shirt. Weasley grabbed a bowl of Jell-O and poured it over the boy's head, while Potter readied himself to chunk a handful of gravy at him. He missed. Rory ducked, and it hit…dun, dun, dun…

So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing

Draco Malfoy square in the face, which was enough to snap him out of Rory's spell. He turned to the chuckling pair with a deathly look on his face. The two stared at him in horror. Draco walked over to the boys, threateningly slowly. He stood in front of them, and his face relaxed. "Its quite alright. I know you didn't mean to. You're good blokes, aren't you?" Rory heard the sickeningly sweet voice of Draco ringing through the Hall. "Really, Malfoy?" Draco's kind smile turned into a smirk as he brought a pitcher of pumpkin juice out from behind him. "MMM…no, not really." He poured it over the two, making sure to get some on both. The two stood there, mouths agape, the thick, orange liquid sliding down their faces. "Remember, I'm Draco Malfoy. Prince of Slytherin. Hater of all things Gryffindor." Potter glared. "Well, then why are YOU taking interest in Rory, princESS of Gryffindor." The music stopped abruptly, and even the extremely long and peppy conga line froze. The entire school knew Draco and Rory, still considered a mudblood, had been hanging out together. They also knew the wrath of the Slytherin prince and the Gryffindor princess.

I am captivated,

I am…

Draco snorted as he glared at the two. "THAT is none of YOUR business, is it, you incompetent morons." "Much less yours than it is ours…" Ron started. Draco didn't hear the rest. His eyes flickered briefly over the redhead's shoulder when he saw movement. He did a double take, only to see Rory and Ty slowly inching forward, maple syrup in hand. He showed no sign of seeing the two and refocused his attention towards Weasley's little speech. "…stupid Slytherin scum and your cronies."(WOD WORD!!! YAY!!!) "Ah, but these aren't my cronies. They're of your own." Potter glanced at Draco in confusion. "What do you mean by that, Malfoy?" "THIS!!!" Syrup again ran down their faces, blurring their vision, getting in the two's mouths. The room laughed as a student yelled "FOOD FIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!" The food began flying, the Conga line restarted, and dear ole Barbie showed up with a pop, smile on her face. She giggled a bit.

Vindicated, I am selfish

"I EXPECTED BETTER OF YOU STUDENTS! ESPECIALLY THE SEVENTH YEARS. YOUR LAST YEAR AND YOU'RE ALREADY SCREWING IT UP. HONESTLY, I THOUGHT EVEN YOU GRYFFINDORS WERE MORE MATURE-" Snape was cut off by a hunk of pumpkin pudding slapping him in the face and sliding down to his neck. (A/N I know that brings…sexual fantasies to some of your minds, but…well…I'll leave you to your…sick, sick imaginations.) The greasy haired potions master looked to the culprit, a tinge of red reaching his face in anger. Albus Dumbledore. The headmaster stood there, pudding remnants in his hands, mischievous twinkle in his eyes. 'THAT DAMNED TWINKLE. I HATE THAT TWINKLE…umm…I have to…tinkle? Eh? What the freak is the matter with me? Potion. Musta been that Longbottom's potion. Yup. That HAS to be it.'

I am wrong,

I am right

Snape threw a glare at the old man as he left. The masses cheered. He bust out the Great Hall and into a random corridor leading to the dungeons. He whipped past a boy. Spiked brownish blond hair with leather. 'Lots of leather. What the hell? Do I have a leather fetish now? What the hell did that oaf put in that potion?' Snape shook it off as he stomped off to his dungeon.

I swear I'm right

I swear I knew it all along

I swiftly trotted (a/n WTF?!) through those damned corridors. This place was just WAY too damned confusing. And there goes greasy slimeball teacher. Go where he came from. Great plan, self. Ah, this looks like the place. That Great-grand-good hall thingy. I shoved the doors open. DAMN. They ARE heavy. How do all those little first years handle it? HOLY SH-UGAR CUBES. This place is a hellhole. All eyes turned towards me. I scanned the room for my prey. By the looks of it, she knew I was coming. Elusive prey, no?

And I am flawed,

But I am cleaning up so well

Rory watched her hunter, who now realized he was the hunted. She hid herself in the deepest, darkest corner of the hall. She watched as he scanned the hall one last time. What the hell was he doing there? How could he get in? Eh…probably killed the receptionist again.

I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

Draco glanced at the brown haired man standing in the doorway to the Great Hall. He was as tall as Draco, which was about a good 6'3 (A/N MMMMMMMMMMMM MMM…Tall. I love tall.) He looked to be a little older than the seventh years, maybe 22 and his hair was spiked. And don't forget that he's appealing to Snape's leather fetish. Well, he was obviously looking for something. And after what he knew, it had something to do with her.

So clear…

Hey! Those two over there are her lunk heads, aren't they? I squinted at them. Yup. That's them. I walked over to them and grabbed the smart one by the robes. What's his name? …shoe?...string?…Bow?…Bunny Ears?…Errr…TY. Yeah, that's it. Ty. He's looking at me strangely. Should I hurt him? Well, I suppose I have that funny look on my face like I do now. I would laugh at me too…if I could see myself. Better talk now. "So, Jefferson. Where is she?" He looked at me, bored. "Well, I suppose if SHE WANTED to talk to YOU, she would go to you." What an insolent little-BAD THOUGHT. "Well, TY, I have every right to see her. I am her-MMPPHH. WFFT FA HMMMK?!?!" That little bitch. What the hell is this?

Like the diamond in your ring

"Hehe. Don't mind what this psycho says. He's delusional. HA-HA-HA." Rory had her hand over his mouth still, but he was obviously protesting violently. He stayed quiet for a moment. (A/N hhhhdlskfyaurbbbvsssdffhhhhhhhhhhhhhhskkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkhhhhhhhhh slkah dddddddddddddddd 44444456666667777771111111111. Pissed at my bro. Release….err…on the keyboard. It's a very irritating, ugly, idiotic keyboard. Pay no mind. growl) "OWWW!! YOU SON OF A MOTHER!!!" she yelled. He obviously bit her. "Why yes. Yes I am. You've met my mother. She's absolutely fond of you, too." He retorted, free of Rory. "You know what I meant. What the hell are you doing HERE?" Rory murmured. "Well, don't I have a right to see you once in a while? After all, I am your f-HEY!!" Rory round housed him. "Well, I've had my fill of you."

Cut to mirror your intention

"Now is that any way to treat your f—WHAT THE HELL!!??" She again attempted to kick his legs out from under him, but he jumped. "What the fuck is your problem you crazy bat?!" She grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him towards the door. "Hey, this isn't another plan to kill me, is it? 'Cause that would NOT be cool to do to your-oww!!!…Wait. I'm sensing a pattern here. Every time I say f-owww…yeah…that's it…Where are we going? Why won't you answer me? WHY?!…holy shite, she's mad. HEEEEEEEELP!!!!" Draco glanced over at Ty and Troy who were pleasantly eating their dinners. 'Well, no need to worry then.'

Oversized and Overwhelmed

"What's up with you? I mean was that necessary? The pulling, scratching, hitting, etc.?" "Absolutely, you fool. You know damn well they don't know who I am." "Oh. Oops. My bad, love," he cooed. She glared. "Well, are you going to tell me what exactly you're doing here, Spike, dear?" "Oh, yeah. The administrator sent me to give you something. Ahhhh…," he searched his pockets, "Umm…wait. …Here it is!" He pulled it out of his pocket. A red envelope. Rory looked at Spike bored. "Idiot," she mumbled, snatching the envelope from his hands.

The shine of which has caught my eye

Ms. Dawn Salvien,

As a member of the Black Panther Syndicate, I, Brett Shockley, Personal Administrator to the leader, am sad to inform you that our leader, Master Vicious, has fallen ill. He has caught a rare, usually deadly magical disease that his family is especially prone to, Dualisis ().

He has requested you to be at his bedside. I have sent Spike to accompany you as you two are on friendly terms, as it seems. Please be swift, I fear he might not last long.

PS: Beware of the Vultures. They have been watching you.

Sincerely,

Brett Shockley

Rory glanced up at Spike. "So, where is he?" He looked around wildly. He obviously hadn't been paying attention. "Who?" "Vicious, you idiot." "Well, all I was told was to take you to a café in Paris. 'La Chevonea.' Supposed to be a real fancy place. But why? Why are we goin' to see Vicious?" Spike raved. "You weren't told?" Rory asked in amusement. "No…but I know that the upper ranks of the syndicate were freaking out. Does that have anything to do with this?" "Well, I suppose if they didn't tell you…I shouldn't either." Rory smirked. "W-what? But you're my f---FUCK." Rory kicked him in the shin and walked off. "See ya, hun. I'm headed to La Chevonea." "B-but…"

And rendered me

So isolated, so motivated

Rory sat bored under a light blue umbrella at her round table at La Chevonea. She looked around idly and took a sip of her mocha frappe. She glanced over at the sound of disorder. 'Ah, the friendly, bright colored men here to take me to the incredibly healthy and kind syndicate leader. Joy.'

I am certain now that I am

Vindicated

Rory looked down upon the pale syndicate leader. "Ugh. You've got to be kidding me, Vicious. I always thought you'd go out with a bang…Not some damn little virus," she mused. "Well, I am kind of susceptible to this. AND a lot of evil people died because of viruses. You know my family, always getting sick." Vicious was obviously awake.

"Seriously. I'd HAVE to do something to stir up stuff before I went and died," Rory mused.

"And, that, my Dear, is why I have asked you here…," Vicious drawled. Rory simply raised an eyebrow at this implication.

I am selfish,

I am right,

I am wrong

"Well, when I die, unless I leave everything to a certain person, a lot of people will die trying to get to my rank as leader, and it just might fall into the wrong hands…" he trailed off. "Yes, but what the hell does that have to do with me?" Rory stared at him intently to explain. "You see, I am going to leave everything to my most loyal and trusted…s—not servant, friend. My one and only true friend, you." He looked up at her from beneath the sheets of his bed. Rory sat there speechless. "Me? I'm gonna run a syndicate? On top of being Voldermort's cousin, a member of The Order of the Phoenix and a member of the Order of the Dragon, Hogwarts, Quidditch, and Dad's estate and company? Being Hermione, Rory, and Dawn? It…I'll have so much attention…more than I have already. Holy fuck…" "Well, its either you or…well…Brett Shockley…" Vicious smirked. Rory hated Brett. She sighed dejectedly. "I'll do it."

I swear I'm right

I swear I knew it all along

Rory returned to Hogwarts just in time quidditch practice. She set down all the forms and research papers she had to do later for Vicious and grabbed her Alexandria 10000. She flew out to the pitch to discover the Gryffindor team already out, warming up. "YO!!!!" she screamed, attracted the attention of the quidditch players. They flew in and huddled around her. "Sorry I'm late. I had shit ta do," she explained rather mysteriously. "Well, I'm here now, and I have a bit of a surprise for y'all…which you may or may not hate me for," she mumbled. "Well, tell us then!" "Yeah! What is it?" "We're gonna have a bit of practice…" "Well, that's obvious. We ARE at quidditch practice!" "Against our favorite house…and, well, here they are," Rory motioned to the air behind them. The Gryffindors all slowly turned around, shock clear on their faces, when they saw what they never expected at Gryffindor quidditch practice. Draco Malfoy. Slytherins.

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, RORY?!" voices roared from the group of Gryffindors. "I've decided to hold a bit of a scrimmage for us. It'll do our team good. Plus, I love seeing that look of defeat on dear Drakie's face, here!" she said, flying up to him and pinching his cheek. He growled at her. "Ummm…growling? From Mr. High-and-mighty-pureblood? Isn't that beneath you? Animalistic, even. That's alright. I'll like my guys a little wild." He just glared at her. "Who peed in your cheerios this mornin'? Oh, wait. Wasn't that you, Troy?" she asked back to the crowd of Gryffindors behind her. "Taken care of, my Dear!!!!" "Good, good!" She smirked at Draco, casually. "WHA? …. WAIT!! THAT'S MY FACIAL EXPRESSION. GET YOUR OWN!"

Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin

"I can't believe I just lost to you…" "Well, ya know it is my natural ability, and, well, as I said, I had the incentive of seeing a look on your face…similar to the one now…" Rory laughed maliciously while Draco glared. "Hey, you don't even play fair. That one dive was definitely illegal." "Why, Draco. I had no idea we were playing by the rules." With that she grinned and headed off to the Gryffindor tower to make fun of the Slytherins while they weren't there. Oh, the joy.

Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current

"WELL, HELLO, MY PUPPETS!!! WE SHALL BE GOING ON A GREAT ADVENTURE TODAY," Rikka paused, and whispered, "In other words, those of you who didn't chose today to skip, really screwed up.

So let me slip away

So let me slip away

So let me slip away

"Well, as some of you might remember, I had certain wishes to take you all to the moon for a test," Rikka droned. A sharp intake of breath was shared by the class. "But there were certain rules of the ministry that kept me from doing that." The class heaved a sigh. "BUT, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! AS I HAVE RESEARCHED THIS TOPIC, I HAVE DISCOVERED CERTAIN WAYS TO GET AROUND THESE RULES!!!" A gasp was heard. Again.

So let me slip against the current
and let me slip away
and let me slip away
and let me slip away
and let me slip away

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKAY! Well, first I'm gonna partner y'all up," Rikka grinned psychotically. "POOPY-ERR…POTTY…UMM…POTTER! AND UHH…PUGSLEY? PANTS? NARCISSUS? ERRR…YEAH! PANSY!" "SHOE AND LOONEY." (Ty and Luna) "VIRGIN…IA AND TROY, muh man!!! He-he. Have fun." "BLAISEY-POO AND DRAKIE!!!! Ohhh, I wuv you Dwakie!" "WOWY!!! AND BWANDO!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAH!!!"

Vindicated, I am selfish

"Well, now that we are in pairs, I do believe it is time to discuss your…" her voice suddenly became obnoxiously serious. "Mission, soldiers! I will dispatch you all to different areas over the surface of the moon with your partner." A whip suddenly appeared in her hands and she slapped it threateningly in her palm, glaring at each student as she passed them in her slow pace. "You will be in search of," she whipped out a red flag, "this." The class examined it and slowly nodded. "The first two pairs that get there get A's. The rest of you…well…you all…FAIL!" She followed this up with insane laughter as the class stared at her in horror.

I am right,

I am wrong

"Well, Boyd," Rory spat his name, as if it had a foul taste to it. "It looks as if we have to work together. I would appreciate it if we could just get this done without arguing or…any fighting at all. So, I call a truce." Rory stuck out her hand begrudgingly. The boy looked at it as if it were the most disgusting thing on the face of the planet, but reluctantly accepted it. "Fine, but I get the lead." "Like hell you will."

I swear I'm right

I swear I knew it all along

Rory watched as Blaise and Draco left, then Troy and Ginny, followed by Ty and Luna. They were going by an inter-dimensional gate. It could take you anywhere in the universe. It was recently discovered by a team of researchers in one syndicate or another. Rory looked up. Potty and Parkinslut had just jumped through. It was her and Brandon's turn. He grabbed her hand and looked down at her. They took a running start and they were off.

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...

WOO FREAKING HOO. I AM DONE. Now, next chapter to please a certain someone, I am gonna do a little side story about our favorite bimbo! Now, an insight to my life…
Which one should I like?: (they're fake names…people know who I am…) Guy 1: Very short. A year older than me. Keeps saying random words that make me laugh. Its like his entire goal in life is to get me to laugh. Does he spend all week just coming up with words (ie pudding, pickle, pudding factory, pudding covered pickle, tapioca pudding) that he thinks will make me laugh? Unfortunately they do.

Guy 2: Nice, smart. Loves Rock. Notices me. (go me!) Talks to me. A year older than me. I think he's rather sexxi. Tall and stature of a football player (but isn't)
Guy 3: Nice, friend. Smart. Punk. Lotsa girls like him. Talks to me a lot. (Actually we had a snowball fight the other day.) Doesn't believe in sex until marriage (I like this.) Won't date whores, despite his popularity. Short.
Guy 4: I've known him since 3rd grade. Kinda had a crush on him, but that's cooled off. Perverted. Arrogant. Tall. Thinks everyone loves him. (thinks I love him. Not quite)
Guy 5: I enjoy hitting him. Its fun. He's retarded. I think its fun to emotionally shatter him. Yay. He's rather afraid of me.

I know who I like, but I want to know which one it sounds like I like. Its fun. Send me a review with the number. WHat d'y'all want for Christmas? Tell me all about it! BE READY FOR THE SONG OF OUR DESTRUCTION NEXT CHAPPIE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. HAPPY KWANZAA. GREAT HANNUKAH. AND FOR ATHEISTS, HAVE A NICE DAY.

May the sporks be with you,

Zanza