Is This Beauty?

By Devon Marsters

Summery: If something's broken, do you fix it? What if it's a girl? Buffy Summers is a fetish model that has had an unconventional life thus far. William Giles is an outgoing photographer that gets the pleasure of photographing her.

Pairings: Buffy/Spike, Willow/Oz, Cordelia/Angel

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or any other BTVS characters. They all belong to the evil man Joss Whedon. Damn him.

Rating: R for mild violence, sexual reference, harsh language.

Prologue: Dealing With the Whores of Life

"What is it you think of when I mention your father?" Dr. Jenny Calendar asked softy as she fingered the slightly chewed up pencil she held. The question was a familiar one. It was the one question she had asked the young blonde every day since she had started coming to her six years ago.

Buffy didn't answer immediately; she just stared at the framed photograph that hung across the room. In the photograph were a pregnant Jenny and her husband, their young daughter and a stereo-typical golden retriever. She wondered if they even had a white picket fence. Buffy had been seeing Jenny since she was fifteen years old, right after her father had left her and her mother. It was strange that she didn't know Jenny that well, considering all the time they spent together during their sessions. Snapping back to reality, Buffy decided she didn't want to answer that question. So she changed the subject:

"How's Dawn?" Her voice was slightly cracked from lack of use, her eyes a bit hollow. Buffy ran her finger tips over the leather couch she was so accustomed to.

After a pause, Jenny replied, "She's good. A bit anxious to meet you. When will you finally have dinner with us?"

Buffy's fingers twitched, her eyes skittered across the room at another, more recent picture that hung on the wall. The picture was of a fourteen year old girl with hazel eyes and chestnut brown hair. The girl was smiling brightly at the camera; obviously she had been having a good day.

"I'm not sure my schedule would allow that." Buffy answered carefully. She wanted to meet Dawn, but the normalcy of the girl scared her. She couldn't handle normal at the moment. Jenny nodded in understanding. Buffy could spend hours sitting in her office in complete silence but she didn't have enough time to have dinner with her family. She knew that wasn't the real reason why she couldn't come but she accepted it anyways.

Buffy had changed a lot since her teen years. She had lost quite a bit of weight, her self-esteem had dropped dramatically and she had become more anti-social than she ever had been. Buffy had never been a very outgoing girl to begin with but over the past few years, Jenny had learned that the girl could, and would, lock herself away in her bedroom with no food or water for days at a time just to avoid having to socialize with her family or "friends". What didn't help was the career Buffy had fallen into. Modeling wasn't something you would expect a girl like her to delve into but it had mostly been by accident. She had fallen in love with a photographer when she had been about seventeen. His name was Angel. He was four years older than her but she had loved him regardless of the age difference. Needless to say, he had broken her heart when she found him with another of his models. She kept with the modeling because it paid well. Her mother didn't work. Her mother suffered from depression, Alzheimer's, dementia, and ADHD. The combination was part of what had broken Buffy. The older woman was forgetful by nature, often forgetting to take her medicine and making the day hell for both her and Buffy alike. Buffy found it hard to talk to her mother because she would get angry at every little thing. She had hated it when her mother was angry. When she was angry she would talk about how worthless she was, and how badly she wanted to just kill herself. Buffy spent the majority of her childhood wishing her mother would stop talking about it and just go through with it. When Buffy had first admitted that to Jenny, she had been surprised. Buffy was a quiet and vulnerable girl, she seemed hardly capable of a single malicious thought.

Buffy was short, about 5'4 with shoulder length blonde hair that often laid un-brushed against her skull. Her deep green eyes didn't hold the excitement you'd hope to see but a not-so-sane look in them. A smile on the girl's face was rare. A peaceful look was even rarer.

Jenny leaned back and observed the way Buffy sat gazing distractedly at this and that. "Are you alright Buffy?"

"Hmm?" Buffy hummed as she met Jenny's eyes, "I'm fine, I should get going though, I have a shoot at six tomorrow. I need to get some sleep."

Even as Buffy spoke the words, she knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep that night, or even at all.

"Okay then, I'll see you this Friday then?"

"Yeah, Friday. See you then."

She stared at the blinking red light on the answering machine. She sat at her kitchen table in nothing but a towel, her hair dripping water droplets on the glass tabletop. Buffy rubbed her finger onto a seemingly dry patch on the towel before pressing the play messages button.

"Hey Buffy, it's Willow, there was a change in plans. Xander won't be photographing the shoot tomorrow. Anya went into labor this morning so he'll be taking the next few days off. We managed to schedule a replacement though. A man named William Giles. I don't know if you've heard of him but he's pretty successful. Sorry for the change of plans but that's life. Nothing ever goes the way you want it to. Other than the switch in photographers, nothing has changes. It's at the same place and the same time. See you in the morning."

Buffy bit her lip as she processed her agent's words. Xander was a father.

She hoped he wouldn't be anything like her own father.

Sorry for the short beginning. I'm not sure if I should continue with this so feedback would be nice. Hope you like it.

- Devon