I Dream of Microwaves
Part 2
Squee. I got reviews. X3 I feel so loved now.
Don't ask me about this chapter... 66;; It followed me home one day. I'm very frightened. Ehee?
By a freak turn of events, the line breaks in the last chapter went on strike and had to be taken out by strategically placed margine snipers. Unfortunately for those of you who seem to thrive on linebreaks ( rather than the pretty words they separate ) I'm lazy and incentive eludes me. :D Fwee.
(( All future comments made by teh muse Usako Ryou-chan shall be identified via italics. ))
How are people supposed to know where one scene ended and the next bega... AM I IN A BUNNY SUIT!
Hai. And cynical.
LinebreaklinebreaklinebreakBANGAHHHH!
There are certain rules that must be obeyed in anime. Not the ones set up by Authoresses, the very ones taken, obliterated, ravaged, set afire, blown to infinitesimal pieces with M80's, utterly ignored and had unspeakable things done to them by drunken college fraternity brothers, but fundamental rules of reality.
One such fundamental rule is that it's remarkably simple to break the remaining laws, but that's not particularly relevant here. No, the rule in effect was that, at any given moment, there must be an angsty bishounen on a rooftop with a cloak billowing dramatcially in the wind.
And yet, despite his hoards upon hoards of fangirls, his authentic bishounenly good looks, his perpetually over-starched cloak and tendency to be indubitably angsty, Seto Kaiba was not the bishounen in which this description infers.
In fact, he was more or less blithely unaware of the bishounen standing purposefully atop his building, until he himself was on the roof. And he was not happy about the reason why.
"Nii-sama, I lost my frisbee."
"Well, then go find it."
"But..."
"But what?"
"I know where it is."
"Go get it then."
"But..."
"But what?"
"It's on the roof."
Sigh. "Then tell one of my cronies to go get it."
"But..."
"WHAT!"
"It's their day off."
Eye-twtiching, "Don't you have some OTHER toy to play with?"
"But..."
"But WHAT, dammit!"
"Turning on teh chibi, "It was my faaavorite!"
SLAM! Papers scatter. "FINE! I'll get your damn frisbee!"
The young CEO stood bolt upright from his spiffy spinny chair, which, as its namesake, began to rotate with the violent force the teen had left it with. The obnoxiously large door shut with an equally obnoxious slam!
Mokuba promptly appropriated the CEO's wallet, which was laid conveniently on the desk. To no one in particular, "I'm sure Nii-sama wouldn't miss a few hundred thousand yen."
Of course, the last snippet had failed to flag down the CEO, him being out of the room and all. But that's not important.
"What the HELL are you doing up here?" the teen growled, hair whipping in its own nonexistant wind. No one notices the lack of explanantion as to how he got onto the large skyscraper roof. Nor does Kaiba does notice that it would be physically impossible for his 90-pound brother to throw a frisbee onto the 678-story roof.
"I am doing only as I have been compelled to do by fate." came the angsty reply. "I am condemned to remain here, watching without a voice, learning without the ability to interact, and crippled to prevent the tragic..." Sapphire locks fluttered beside his perfectly structured face as he continued. "I have been sentenced to live without a life."
"To stand on a rooftop and be angsty."
"...yes."
"Well..." the CEO, quite irked but not revealing so, dramatically whipped an ominous and inconspicuoualy convenient remote from his coat. "I can help you with that."
Just as the CEO pressed the irresistably shiny button, a huge Blue Eyes White Dragon helicopter appeared from nowhere. Using his uber helicopter-mounting sk1llz, Kaiba somehow managed to climb into the midair helicopter's cockpit, contrary to laws of physics and gravity.
The hunk of shiny metal rocketed into the angsty bishounen, who, caught off-guard from behind, clawed vainly at the air as several unsavory squelches and cracks were heard. Rather unaffected by the stomach-churning sound effects, the young man simply accelerated the aircraft from the roof, an expresison like a small boy watching Saturday morning 'toons. Unaccustomed to the now nose-heavy flying style, however, the niftabulous helicopter promptly began plummeting to the streets below.
"Euuuuhh...? What's that...?'
"OHMIGOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
"AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!"
CRASH!
"M... my appendix! Oh dear God, the pain!"
"I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"
"MY GLASSES! They're ruined!"
"I'm bleeeeeding..."
"The light! THE LIGHT! Oh, how it burns!"
"Wow! This is better than cable!"
"MY APPENDIX!"
"To hell with your damn appendix! WHAT ABOUT MY GLASSES!"
A mini-crater in the street encircled the now totaled helicopter, the young CEO looking smugly satisfied as he exited. He smirked at the now unidetifiable lump of flesh that was perhaps the bishounen's torso.
"See? I got you off of that roof now."
No repsonse.
He nudged him with his 400,000,000,000,000 yen show-covered toe...
A rather unappealing crack issued forth.
"...and I ended your depressed existence. No need to thank me."
Supposedly impermeable to the deathcries that surrounded him ( or perhaps not caring ) the uber tall teen surveyed his messed-up bitchin' wheels with disdain. Or bitchin' wings. Whatever.
"Gah... I'll have to get a damn repair man... oh well."
Linebreeeeeeaaaaaakkkkkkk...ness.
"Ooooooooh! My dog Jelly likes to roam, one day Jelly left his home! He came back, nice and clean, where oh where has Jelly Bean? Jelly Bean, Jelly Bean, where oh where has Jelly Bean? Jelly Bean, Jelly Bean, where oh where has Jelly Be-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
The bus driver was livid. The other passengers were scared. The singer was scandalized.
The Singer, as they shall be mentioned until their name is inevitably revealed, will reamin devoid of a description because the writer has only had 3 cups of coffee. At any rate, they were pissed.
...he was pissed. Yes, the lazy authoress has decided it was guy.
...and he was pissed.
"Stop what?" he asked in a deceptively ignorant tone.
"Stop singing, dammit!" If looks were toothpicks, Singer would have been vvvveerrryyy prickly.
Pouting, " I only started singing to entertain the blind passenger!" he retorted innocently, pointing to the seemingly comatose bum in seat before him.
"That was 47 HOURS AGO!"
Little did the two notice that the remaining passengers had hurled themselves from the windows, rather than face the wrath of the tone-deaf caterwauling and nerve-grating vein-poppiness. Indeed, they weren't very intelligent, as one might have guessed from the unappetizing squishes coming from beneath the bus.
"You don't like my singing?"
"I DESPISE IT WITH THE INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS!"
Enraged to the point of a mental breakdown, the bus driver failed to notice the looming building that was... um... looming within the bus's path. And so he kept driving. And yelling. And popping veins. And driving. And -
CRASHBANGBOOMSHATTERSQUEALKWERKAAAAHHHPINTO!
The infamous Museum ( no idea what its name is... oo;; ) now had a large gaping hole in its side. As well as several injured civilians under rubble. And a partcularly large crack in the middle of the Tablet of the Pharaoh...
GASP! O.O
THE PLOT THICKENS!
BUM BUM BBBUUUMMMM!
,...breakybreakybreakybreaky...
...uh...yeah. oo;; Sorry 'bout the lack of length and whatnot, but cut me some slack. XP I'm not even supposed to be on this computer... um... I mean...
...LOOK! BISHIE IN A BUNNY SUIT-points-
What the hell-
"OHMIGODBISHIEBISHIEBISHIEBISHIE!11!"
- Cue Usako Ryou-chan's screams of horror. -