I Dream of Microwaves

Part 3

Oh.

My.

Good.

Golly.

GOSHNESS! O.O

Voices actually UPDATED?

That's right, lads and lassies - after four ( Count 'em, FOUR ) months, I've finally managed to progress from twiddling my thumbs to doing something relatively productive with them.

... stop looking at me like that.

Squ33 to mah reviewers. B4 j00 3y3 qu4k3 in 4w3.

(( Warning - Bad length equals major suxor4ge. Gomen ne. ))

...linebreak...

No doubt the creators of the microwave in question had not meant for the nuclear box to be used in ... a 'time machine', and no doubt it was a mercy they were unaware of such a violation. The originators of the lawn mower would have been equally distressed, as that model in particular had been the ultimatum of their mechanical genius. Even more distraught would have been the dishwasher producers, for the fruit of their labors was now disfigured into a macabre of machinery parts. The toaster was not such a loss; the shiny bastard always burnt their toast.

Condolences and remorse aside, a certain Egyptian bishonen was excercising his ass-chewing technique on his yami, the latter becoming increasingly sulky.

The spirit imitated his hikari's voice with ample squeakiness, "'Yami, do the dishes, yami, eat your veggies, yami, stop committing mass genocide with a pickax.' Keh! It's always my fault, isn't it?"

Malik twitched. "You're. The one. That BUILT. The effing thing."

"Details, details."

Little did they know that such a trifling bickerfest was scoffable in comparison to what awaited them in a few short hours. Such a devastating occurence would be apocalyptic in every aspect; more devastating than a worldwide pocky shortage, more disturbing than Insector Haga in a speedo, and incomparably more dreadful than the day that Toonami would mutilate, dub, and air Naruto. It would be horrifying, scarring, dumbfounding, excruciating, and decidedly... not pleasant.

And it all may have been prevented if the window had been closed.

For at that moment, a bird ( the species shall not be described, since it is of too much relevance ) flew in, ignoring its biological clock, and perched itself in Yami Malik's hair. Malik's upraised forefinger halted in mid-admonishment, as did his sentence cut off into a grammatically incorrect fragment.

There was an awkward silence, broken only by the content chirrups of the nameless bird. Malik blinked. And blinked again. And blinked again. An eyebrow slowly made its way above the other.

"Yami..." he began slowly, as if still thinking of what to say. "... is there... a birdnest...?"

Chirrup. Chirrup.

"...in your hair?"

The sadist looked aghast. "Hikari, where ever do you get such ridiculous notions?"

A birdhouse promptly fell from the voluminous mass of yami-hair. The bird gave a indignant 'fweet' and darted out of the still-open window.

"..."

"...'

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

'... damn. He owed me money, too."

"..."

"..."

"...Yami. Go. Take. A shower."

"Er... 'fraid I can't."

Something that sounded suspiciously like teeth grinding together prevailed in the small guestroom. "And... why the hell not?"

"Well..." The spirit sheepishly gestured to the Time Machine. "Shower's in there."

Silence.

"... er... what's that chair for, hikari? Ehe, why do you look... alll.. all... deranged... and stuff?.."

Fortunately for the psychotic spirit, Malik had forgotten that the birdhouse was still lying on the floor. With a vague splintering crack, Malik's foot became stuck in the overly elaborate bird accomodation. Yami Malik took the oppurtunity to fling himself out of the window, thus escaping the wrath of his livid hikari.

"FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUUUUUUU!"

Passers-by briefly ponder as to why the authoress changed his signature maniacal laughter, just as Yami Malik decapitiated them with his Pointy-Headed Decapitating Prowess.

...oO;;...

Frah. Pardon the unpardonable length. If I waited another few months to get it a decent length, I would probably forget where I was going with it... --;;

-GASHP!- You mean there's a PLOT!

... T-T;;

:P

... nnyyyyeeeaaaahhhh... hopefully by butchering these chapters into mutated segments I can come up with crap faster. Mrow.

Writing Track: Cats on Mars, Cowboy Bebop