Authors Rant (see told you that's what I'm going to call it from now on): I have officially became even more obsessed with Harry Potter then I already am. Thanks to this fan fiction I am on the rampage, I've succeeded in hunting down websites and other things devoted to Remus Lupin and any other Marauders. This is sad, I know.

This chapter was originally intended on being posted last night, but I got sidetracked on my hunt for fan-art. Not much fluff in this chapter, but it contains Kit spending some time with James, Sirius, and a lil' bit o' Lily. I'm not sure how werewolf's work in the HP world, but in common foke-lore they turn into the beast three days out of the month (The day before the full moon, the full moon, and then the day after) and that's how I'm doing Remus's transformations. Just to let you know why he still isn't back yet.

I really have to much free time on my hands…

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Chapter Seventeen

(October. 31st, 1976)

It hadn't really been Kit's plan, and she was pretty sure that many people would object if they found out…but she did it anyway. Since Remus had left two day's before, Kit had taken to sleeping in his bed. She would wander into the boy's dorms after hours, surprised to find all the bed's empty (except for Frank, who snored louder then a chainsaw). She didn't question the empty beds, instead she had simply slipped into Remus's bed, tucking herself deep within the blankets. Just being able to smell Remus made her feel safe…so safe…

When the boys had came in during the early morning hours they didn't raise a question, instead they were just extra quiet (Because while Frank could sleep through an apocalypse, they were pretty sure that Kit would wake if they made to much noise). The early morning hours of Halloween, Frank had seen her in Remus's bed and woke James up to ask him about it, James simply shrugged and said she missed her boyfriend…there was nothing wrong in that.

Even when she woke up, none of the boy's asked her about it. They just grinned, and she spoke with them for awhile about this and that (which meant she was bored to tears by Sirius talking all about Quidditch and how they were going to kill the Slytherins). And, when she figured it was safe to slip back into the girls dorms, she did.

When she slipped into the third years girl's dorms they were empty and devoid of sound, causing Kit to actually almost miss being with the boys. She was pretty sure she could go to Lily and talk about how much she missed Remus, but she was fairly certain that the prefect wouldn't like the fact that Kit had snuck into the boy's dorms after hours.

She took her time getting ready for the day, deciding against rushing down to breakfast, she simply took one rather long bath. The water had been scalding hot, and turned her flesh an ugly red color, but she didn't seem to mind. In the bath, her thoughts were centered on Remus hoping that he was okay with his Grandmother. They were also centered on all of her doubts. She wasn't doubtful that she liked (even loved) Remus, but she wasn't a mind reader…and she wasn't sure what he thought of her. He never came out and said that he liked her, James and Sirius had always been the ones to tell her that Remus liked her…and now…

There were doubts.

Like, was she only with Remus because his friends had pushed him into it?

Kit sighed and buried her face in her hands with a groan "Why do I do this to myself?" she asked to herself, sighing as she ducked her head under the water for just a moment to clear her face of the tears she was fairly certain she had shed.

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Kit had spent the majority of the morning in the bathroom, finishing her bath, slicing up her arms, and crying. When she felt like she was good and ready to face the world it was already two in the afternoon. The only bad part about spending half the day in her sorrows, was that her new friends seemed to notice. When she walked down to the common room, with her book bag in hand planning on going down to the library, Kit was cornered by Lily.

"Where have you been? You missed breakfast and lunch…" She stated, with that wild look in her green eyes that shone with concern. Kit honestly tried to brush her off, she didn't want to talk about it, but Lily didn't budge.

"I-I wasn't feeling well."

"Oh, I'm sorry…it's just I checked the third year dorms and you weren't there, and well…with all the pure-bloods going around thinking there better then us…well…I thought the worse." Lily explained, pulling Kit into a tight hug, catching Kit off guard, causing both of them to topple to the floor with a thud.

"Thanks for the…ow, concern." Kit stated, trying to get her and her bag untangled from Lily.

It would seem at this time, the boys conveniently decided to walk into the common room, faces rosy from being outside. There was a low whistle that caused both Kit and Lily to look up from un-tangling themselves. Both of them turning a rather bright shade of crimson at the looks the boys were giving them.

"Boy James, you sure are lucky." Sirius started, clapping James on his shoulders. "Lily's interested in girls too…"

"Oh shut up you prat." Lily bit back, as she successfully managed to get the strap of Kit's book bag off of her ankle. Standing up she offered a hand to Kit, who took it with a small sigh dusting herself off. "Are you okay then?" Lily asked, looking back towards Kit.

"Yeah, just going to head down to the Library to take care of the last bit of an essay I have." Kit explained, adjusting her book bag, back over her shoulders. Lily nodded, and with surprise from nearly everyone; James offered to go with Kit.

"Since Remus isn't around to protect you, I'll go down with you." He told her, walking behind her out of the common room. Kit was nervous around James, she knew he didn't trust her, and was afraid that if she did or said the wrong thing…

The only question that was running through her head was, why on earth did he want to go with her? He could have just as easily sent Sirius, or even Peter.

They walked in silence, side by side one another both seemed to be trying their hardest to make the walk down to the library as un-awkward as possible. Halfway down, James was the first one to speak, "So, you haven't had anymore trouble with Regulus or any other Slytherin git's?" He asked, causing Kit to raise her brows in surprise at his concern before answering.

"Not at all, they've left me alone since I've started to have bodyguards at my side."

James grinned ever so slightly at this, and nodded; "Lily said the same thing. Called us bodyguards that is…"

Kit tried to smile, but couldn't muster up any emotion in order to make that happen. Instead, they fell into another silence, the only thing heard were the soft footfalls they made as they made their way to Kit's destination with no hurry. It was when they were passing the Great Hall when James grabbed her arm, causing her to wince in a bit of pain. He was looking at her arm intently, and as she glanced towards it…she noticed why.

There was crimson red blood all over the white sleeve of her uniform shirt. Her cut's must have opened up after that fall with Lily, she tried to tug her arm away but James grip was strong and firm. Kit's heartbeat was going a mile a minute…he was going to find out! "You're bleeding." He told her, his voice was soft and didn't hold the anger that she thought it might.

It was Kit's turn to speak, but she didn't. Instead she just stood there, watching as James tugged her bloodied sleeve back to show all the cuts that marred her flesh. They stood in silence for a moment, Kit occupied the thought of running, but then that would just make the situation worse. She was trying to work out the expression on James face, but she still couldn't tell what he was feeling. He looked confused, concerned, and angry all at once.

"P-please don't tell." She said, finally mustering up enough courage to speak. If he told someone…if Remus found out how much of a freak she was…

"You did this?" James asked, although it was obvious. When footsteps from a group of students were heard, James wasted no time in pulling Kit into a nearby empty classroom. Now hidden from anyone that could see them, he pushed her down into a desk, and promptly started to pace. He for once in his life, didn't know what to do.

Instead of watching James, her tear-filled eyes concentrated on the blood that was slowly pumping out of one of a gash, if she hadn't gotten tangled up with Lily she wouldn't be in the current situation. If only she had been more careful. Now she was scared, biting her bottom lip and trying hard not to cry.

"Why would you do this to yourself?" James asked, finally coming to stop in front of her, kneeling down so he could be at eyelevel with Kit.

She just shrugged, she didn't know why she did it…well, yeah, she did…it was so that she could feel something other then the sadness that her thoughts brought up. James just wouldn't understand.

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He sighed, bowed his head and reached into his pocket for a handkerchief, his father had always told him to carry one around, one would never know when they needed it. Well, James needed that white bit of clothe now. Carefully he wrapped it around her arm, watching as she looked everywhere but at him.

He had to tell someone. She was hurting herself! That obviously wasn't normal, not in the long shot. He did, however feel a little relieved…he finally knew what she was hiding from them. She made a small noise of pain when he tightly tied the handkerchief to her arm, securing it tightly so that it wouldn't move. "I have to tell someone." He told her, but his confused heart gave a jolt when she looked up.

Big tearful blue eyes were looking at him, she looked like a terrified Kitten that was lost. One of his hands would reach up and mess up his already messed up hair. He couldn't stand when girls cried, the last time Lily had cried it made him feel like his heart was being torn out and stepped on by a heard of hippogriffs.

"P-please." She begged him, tears silently starting to fall down her face.

James sighed, and bowed his head in thought. What should he do? He didn't deal with situations like these often, actually he never dealt with them at all. What would the right choice in this matter be? What would his father do? Hell, what would Remus do?

With a thought, his head popped up and his hands moved to roll up her other sleeve. The skinny pale arm that was hidden under that sleeve was just as horridly tore up, cuts in every which way, some new and some old littered her skin. He looked at both of her arms, taking a moment to push his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose.

"I won't tell, as long as you stop. After lunch everyday I'll pull you in here, and if there is one new gash I will bloody well tell Dumbledore!"

That was the right choice, right? This way he didn't have a sobbing girl on his hands, and maybe she'd actually stop cutting her arms now that the threat of him telling someone haunted her. He gave a small smile, he was a genius!

Kit nodded, slowly at first, looking up at him with her wide tear-filled eyes in shock before giving a small sigh of relief. "I promise."

With that he wiped her tears away with his thumbs, and looked down at her bloody uniform sleeve. "This could be a problem."

Yes, it could very well be a little obvious of a problem if she walked around the school with a blood covered sleeve. It looked as if she forgot to throw her robes on over her uniform. She looked down at her arms and pulled down her sleeves, before looking back towards James. He was still grinning on the inside, he knew her secret, he knew what she was hiding! He didn't have to worry about her hurting Remus anymore.

After a moment of thought he stood, his back cracking as he did so, "I don't think kneeling agrees with my body." was said, before he shrugged off his own robes and handed them to her. "They will be a bit big on you, I suppose we can just say that you forgot your robes up in the common room and got cold. Once I leave you in the library I can rush back up there and have Lily get your robes out of your dorm."

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Kit had promised not to hurt herself anymore upon James request. It was obvious he would ask her something like that (most sane people would), but he had a flaw in his plan. He would only be checking her arms for new cuts, and if Kit was careful…she could still slash cuts all over her stomach and upper legs. As much as this run in with James should have made her fear getting caught, made her fear cutting herself anymore…

She wouldn't stop. She couldn't stop.

They walked out of the empty classroom and down to the library in silence, although James did take the time to make fun of how she looked in his robes. He was not only nearly a foot taller then her, but he was a bit wider then her as well…this made her look like she was playing dress up in his robes, they dragged on the floor and made her feel as if she were swimming in them.

After making sure she was okay in the library alone (James had even went as far as inspecting the rows of books to see if any Slytherins were wandering around), James left heading back up for the her robes…leaving Kit alone.

James knew what she did, and while he did look a little angry and confused…he wasn't mad at her. This gave Kit a little hope that Remus wouldn't be mad at her if he found out what she did (but that didn't mean she was going to run up to him and tell him that she was cutting herself). Kit dug out her books from her bag and set them on the table in front of her with a sigh…

Things were okay…normal even…

It was just James knew.

Cutting herself wasn't her biggest secret, but wouldn't he wonder why she did? What caused her to cut herself? She worried that he might figure out why or rather what drove her to slashing her skin open. And that scared her.

She frowned, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to figure out the reason she cut herself. 'Just stop dwelling on it' Kit told herself, before adjusting James's robes around her and setting to work on her essay.

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The rest of Kit's day, went by rather quickly, James returned to the library with her robes and she changed into them quickly, he even helped her with the essay she was writing after all he had done the same essay only a few years previous. Once her work was done, and it was time for the Halloween feast, they headed towards the Great Hall and Kit was sandwiched between James and Sirius.

In order to speak to Lily, Kit and the red head had to lean back in their seats and whisper behind James's back, mostly they did this just because it annoyed James. The Halloween feast was one of the best Kit had ever had, mostly because she was surrounded by friends. Friends who actually cared about her…she was finally secure that they weren't just her friends because of Remus.

Sirius had told her stories of how Remus liked to play mother hen to the group, and how one time, while they set up buckets of ice water above the Slytherin entrance to their common room, Remus would tell them about how wrong what they were doing was, and how being a prefect he should report them (all the while he had been saying that, he had been helping them set up the bucket of water).

Things, for once in Kit's life…were okay. They really were.

After the feast had ended, they headed back for the Gryffindor tower where Lily and Kit collapsed on the sofa, Peter in an overstuffed chair near the fire, and James and Sirius in front of the girls on the floor. Kit watched as they talked, which was mostly about Quidditch (the first game was only two weeks away!) and she stayed in silence, just enjoying being around friends. Everything seemed so blissfully right.

After only a half an hour of talking near the fire, it would seem that a full stomach and the warmth of the fire were taking it's toll on Lily, who excused herself for the night after locking lips with James (for a full thirty seconds, Sirius counted). Once Lily left, Kit soon followed saying goodnight to the boys and heading towards the girls dorms.

However, Kit didn't stay in the girls dorms for long. She bathed, and cleaned her arm of the blood that dried there, and then simply got dressed in her pajamas before slowly and silently padding towards the boys dorms. Like the night before they were empty (except for Frank) and Kit had to wonder where they were, seeing as in passing the common room she didn't see them there.

She just shrugged her wondering thoughts away, after all the boys were probably just going off to do another prank or something of the like. Before slipping into Remus's bed, Kit paused at the window. It was a bright night out, not a cloud in the sky. The full moon was rising above the horizon and casting an eerie glow over the castle grounds.

Kit looked at that moon for a long time, sitting in thought and wondering if Remus was looking at the moon at his grandmothers, just as she was. Kit was tossed out of her silent thoughts however, when a howl had cried out into the night. She bit her bottom lip and wondered what could have made that noise.

With a heavy sigh, she collapsed in Remus's bed wondering when he would be back.

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AN: Ooooh, look at that…another chapter completed. I like how I made the ending, it fits into the fact that sooner or later Kit is going to figure out Remus's secret. Also, wow James found out! But oh, what's this…he isn't going to tell anybody? That will have it's consequences later, trust me. For now though, I have to go look through my POA book again and get started on the next chapter.

Toodles