AN: -sigh- I feel so bad for Kit as I write this. It needs to be done though, that way she can get happy…for a little while at least. Like always loved the reviews.

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Chapter Twenty-Five

(Winter Holiday's)

-1976-

The winter holiday's came to soon for Kit's liking. Now, she sat in a compartment in the train snuggled up next to Remus who had decided to go home for the holiday's after all, apparently being the only one left at Hogwarts didn't sit well with him. James and Sirius were busy playing exploding Snap while Lily was busy with a fashion magazine and Peter was busy finishing off the last of the sweets the boys bought off of the trolley.

Kit felt numb, her mouth was dry, and no matter how hard she tried Kit couldn't get warm, even if Remus had tossed his robe over her because she was shivering. No one seemed to notice her fear, she was doing a good job of hiding it, telling them that she just felt sick when they asked if she felt okay. It was half true, she did feel sick…

But the ever growing fear overcame how sick she felt. The fear that made her heart slam against her chest, the fear that made her want to curl up in cry, the fear…that only her father could bring to her.

Everyone around her was cheerful, but she wasn't…she tried to be, but there was no…it was like a dark cloud hovered over her and she wouldn't be able to feel cheerful until it left. Almost as if there was a Dementor sitting in the damn train right there with them! Kit took a deep breath in 'get a grip' she told herself, hell…she didn't know if it would be that bad.

But she knew in her heart of hearts that it would be all that bad and worse.

The train started to slow down and she nuzzled herself closer to Remus, she didn't want him to leave her. Maybe he'd take one look at her father and know…just know that he wasn't a good man. That was to much to hope for though.

"So I guess we'll all see each other in a week at my house to trade our gifts." James said, standing up now that the train had come to a stop, wrapping his arms around Lily as he did so. Kit could only wonder how she'd get to James' house, in fact she also could only wonder if her father would let her go.

Kit stood up, followed shortly by Remus who placed a lingering kiss on her lips. When his lips touched her's all of her fear melted away for a moment, and then as soon as it began, he pulled his lips away causing Kit to rush back to reality.

"I'll miss you." He said, as she handed him his robe back.

"I'll miss you too." Kit replied, without missing a beat. Their touching moment however was broken when Sirius wrapped his arms around both of them.

"And I'll miss you three!" Sometimes, Sirius was the cheesiest person in the world.

They easily grabbed their things, Kit herself had packed light all of her stuff fitting into one small bag. Lily meanwhile needed James' help to carry her stuff.

The small group exited the train, and one by one walked through the wall into the Muggle train station. Kit's anxiety was growing, gnawing away at her stomach. Remus had one of his arms tossed over her shoulder and all she could think about was what her father would think when he seen her and Remus together.

That just brought more horrible thoughts when she wondered if Remus would want to meet her father. In fact, that was the only thing she could think of as they headed towards the pick up area at the station. Looking up at Remus, who was simply all smiles; Kit cringed…she could only pray that he would just say good-bye and that was it.

When they walked outside, into the snowy afternoon and Kit seen him, it was like having someone punching her in her stomach. Kit's father was leaning on their old black car (in which Kit was pretty sure he loved more then her) looking…pleasant? The man that Kit called 'Dad' had a smile on his face, arms crossed over his chest he looked as if he just stepped out of a magazine. She could hear Lily whisper "is that your father?"

All Kit could do was nod. Why did he look so happy? His mop of curly brown hair danced in the wind, and blue eyes that mirrored her own, watched Kit and her small group of friends with interest. Kit said good-bye to Lily first, who said something about having an awful time at home because of her sister Petunia and her boyfriend Vernon. Peter waddled off in the direction of two people who looked exactly like him, James and Sirius said good-bye, both bickering to each other about the best way to open presents as they went in the direction of the Potters.

Which left her and Remus, "Should I go up and introduce myself to your father?" She flung her arms around her boyfriend with a sigh of relief.

"No! I mean, he's…"

"Weird about the whole magic thing, and bringing a wizard to meet him would be bad?" Remus asked, a smirk playing at his lips as his hazel eyes glittered with laughter.

"Exactly."

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

Remus leaned down to press his lips against hers in a chaste kiss, thankfully he remembered they were in front of their families. "See you at James's."

And with that he left, and Kit was forced to look back to her father, who still looked…pleasant.

In all honestly Kit thought she would have preferred the mean looking man he usually was rather then, all smiles.

He was up to something…

She just knew it.

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The fact that her father was up to something, was only thought of more as he sung to a David Bowie song on the radio while they drove through the streets of London. Kit wasn't going to ask, if she did she was pretty sure that a split lip or an aching pain somewhere in her body would be involved.

She would just enjoy this. Her father, was never in a good mood…he really honestly wasn't. While he concentrated on the road and his driving, Kit took the time to look over him…did anything change in his appearance? No. He looked as perfect as he did the last time she seen him, perfectly pressed jeans and shirt, covered with a black leather jacket. Five o'clock shadow, that would always seem to rest on his face in the afternoon.

He was still young too, not even thirty yet. Her parents were teenage parents, and often times Kit was left to wonder if she'd been better off being adopted by some strangers. Because, having a child at sixteen could have possibly caused her father to be just a little hostile towards her.

At a red light he tapped his fingers casually on the steering wheel, muttering under his breath about 'bloody London afternoon traffic'.

She realized it right there why he was so happy. He wasn't driving them home, the car was gliding towards an obvious location.

The hospital.

He was so happy, because today is the day that Kit would get to see her mother die. He was probably not only happy about that, but happy about the fact that he wouldn't have to support her mother's drug habits. Kit shut her eyes, swallowing hard, as she listened to her father's humming.

She was slightly positive that, he was in such a good mood because by the end of this winter holiday he would have no one to have to take care of other then himself.

She was slightly positive that, he was going to kill her.

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The hospital was a place that Kit never liked, she had never grown to like it even after all of her visits for broken bones and stitches. The smell of it made her nose tingle and burn, the sickness that lurked around every corner…it just didn't set well with her.

When she seen her mother laying in the white sheets of the bed, all she could think about was how much her mother looked like her, or rather, how much she looked like her mother. It scared her, because it almost looked like she was in that hospital bed.

The feeling that was growing in the pit of her stomach made her feel sick, and as much as she never cared for her mother, Kit couldn't help but cry. Her fathers hand was squeezing down on her shoulder so hard it made Kit wince with pain, she'd have a bruise there later…

The doctor, in his white lab coat and glass bottle bottom glasses moved about the room as quietly as possible. Saying things like 'this is a somber time' or 'she is so young, pity'. All Kit wanted to do was bury her head into her fathers side, but she knew that wasn't something she could do. In fact, all Kit could do was watch as the doctor explain that there was no turning back from unplugging her mother from the world of the living.

What scared Kit the most was the priest that stood in the room near her mothers bed, his aged hands clinging to a book, obviously the bible. His head was bowed in thought for a moment, or maybe prayer. Kit took this silent time to look up towards her father, he wasn't grinning now, his lips were set in a thin line. It was easy for Kit to tell…

He was trying really hard not to smile and let his happiness known. He looked down at her steering up at him and squeezed his hand tighter around her shoulder, pressing his thumb into her collar bone. Kit had to bite her tongue in order not to make a sound. Kit's eyes turned back to what was happening in front of them. The doctor was in place, hand stuck out ready to flip the switches that kept Kit's mother alive.

The priest then opened his bible, and his raspy voice filled the air; "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake."

While his voice filled the air, Kit struggled to keep herself under control. WHY did she have to see this? WHY did her father want her to see this? She would have preferred a night of being hit with a chain over this. This…was too much…she was too young…she didn't want to watch this.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff comfort me…"

Kit could feel the blood in her mouth, she was biting down on her tongue to hard. The metallic taste of her blood didn't help the fact she felt sick to her stomach. It hurt! Just being there…watching it hurt! She blinked her eyes shut, feeling the trails of tears roll down her face. She would have liked nothing better then to keep her eyes shut, but her father just squeezed her shoulder tighter.

"Thou prepares a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Kit watched with watery eyes, as her mother left the world of the living. Kit could only think…'That's going to be me someday'. A very heavy thought indeed.

The mother that never loved her was dead. The mother that cared more about shooting up then her was dead. The mother that was a Sex Pistols groupie was dead. The mother that had a child to young was dead.

Kit's mother was dead, and there was nothing she could do about it.

As Kit and her father walked out of the hospital, she was still crying silent tears. Silently begging for Remus to come and rescue her, because she didn't want it to be her in that hospital bed next.

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Miles away, tucked away in the middle of the snowy woods was a cottage. From the outside it looked tiny, and yes, even on the inside it was small. In this cottage, sat a boy no more then sixteen in his bedroom. Sitting on the edge of his bed, looking down at his feet while his hands gripped at the bed.

This boy was silently crying, droplets of water splashing down to the floor.

And the interesting thing…was that this boy, had no idea why he was crying.

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AN: I'm sure we all know who that boy is. How'd you guy's like it? Pretty heavy and it's only going to get worse. Thank Merlin for the fluff in present day other wise this would be really depressing.

Toodles.