(Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, I don't own the Teen Titans, fair use clause, yadda, yadda, yadda.)
-CHAPTER THREE: WAKE UP CALL-
It was now the second full day after Evelyn's "birth", and she was sleeping in again. At least, the Titans were pretty sure she was sleeping in, but for all they knew she might have been plotting their gruesome deaths—it's difficult to tell with evil, psychotic replicas of half-demon sorceresses. Robin, who hated being unsure more than almost anything else, had finally had enough around ten-thirty.
"Beast Boy, go wake her up and tell her to get in here where we can keep an eye on her," he said from his seat in front of the TV. He was playing Really Fast Racing Racers II against Cyborg—Cyborg was winning.
"What? Why me?" Beast Boy whined.
"Well, Cyborg and I are in the middle of a game right now, and you don't have anything to do, so I'm giving you something to do," Robin said, not taking his eyes off the screen. "Besides, weren't you just saying how bored you were?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't see why I have to be the one to go get the crazy person," Beast Boy said. "Why don't you send one of the girls?" Raven glared at him over her book. Starfire continued stirring her latest bizarre concoction, oblivious to all else.
"Beast Boy, just do it, okay?" Robin said, the combination of Cyborg's winning streak and Beast Boy's complaints beginning to aggravate him.
"Oh, I get it! You won't ask Star to do it 'cause you've got a crush on her, and you won't ask Raven because she'll hurt you or something!" Beast Boy said, pointing an accusing finger at the back of Robin's head. "I see through your feeble excuses, whipped boy!"
Beast Boy could not have picked a worse time to say this, as Robin had finally lost the race to Cyborg, for the seventeenth time, only moments before. Robin gritted his teeth and turned to face the shapeshifter eerily smoothly, like he was mounted on a turntable.
"You know, Beast Boy, my freeze discs have a very interesting effect on the human colon," Robin said in a bone-chilling whisper. "Would you like to see it?"
Beast Boy paled to a sickly olive green and backed away from the apparently temporarily insane boy wonder.
"I'll, uh, just go see what Evelyn's up to!" he said, laughing nervously. "Yeah, that's what I'm going to do!" Beast Boy ran to the door.
"Dude, where did you learn terror tactics like that?" Cyborg asked, a little taken aback.
"Training under Batman for a few years has its advantages, I guess," Robin said with a shrug, his psychotic episode apparently over.
"I'll have to borrow one of those freeze disks of yours," Raven said from across the room, not even looking up from her book.
OOO
"Uhhhh…Evelyn? Are you in here?" Beast Boy asked hesitantly. He had knocked on Evelyn's door, but received no response, so he was now standing in her doorway, casting nervous glances over her darkened room. Or, rather, her darkened lair.
"Evelyn? It's after ten-thirty. Are you going to sleep this late all the time?" Beast Boy asked as he took his first cautious steps into the girl's self-proclaimed lair. "I really, really hope you're not waiting to hit me over the head with something in here…"
As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Beast Boy could make out a vaguely feminine form tangled up in the sheets on her bed, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Okay, she's just still asleep, he thought. Nothing to worry about.
Beast Boy drew closer to the bed, his eyes continuing to adjust to the lack of light. He gave a small squeak of fright as the door hissed shut behind him, but quickly chastised himself for being so jumpy.
Why am I being so paranoid? My eyes have pretty much adjusted to the darkness already, so it's not a problem that the door cut off the light from the hallway, he thought. I'd be able to hear her if she was sneaking up on me, and even if she did manage to sneak up on me, I've been doing the hero thing regularly for almost two years now, so I can react pretty fast. Besides, what's the worst a powerless teenaged girl can do to a freakin' superhero?
No sooner had this thought passed through Beast Boy's head than fate decided to show him precisely what the worst Evelyn could do to him was. You see, Evelyn's bed was placed so that the foot of it was pointed almost directly at the door. As Beast Boy got closer, the angle of his line of sight naturally changed. The upshot of all this was that, once Beast Boy was within a few feet of Evelyn's bed, he was able to see that the sheets did not, in fact, completely cover the evil girl's body—they fell in such a way as to leave her back exposed almost all the way down to her waist. Exposed and, apparently, completely bare. Beast Boy nearly choked on his tongue.
Oh, shit. Please, please, PLEASE tell me she's not sleeping naked, Beast Boy thought. Reality can be cruel, though, and as soon as he thought that, Evelyn sighed softly and shifted a little in her sleep, causing the sheets to move so that they no longer left her back exposed almost all the way down to her waist, but instead down to several inches just below it. Beast Boy was horrified to realize that this extra revelation showed no hint of underwear whatsoever.
Now, it must be noted that while Beast Boy was indeed horrified on a cerebral level, as he was a generally well-meaning person who did not want to take advantage of anyone, he was still a teenaged boy, and teenaged boys, especially the generally well-meaning ones, are often of two minds about things. The first mind, which was the horrified one in this case, thinks using the brain, while the second mind usually thinks with, well, certain other parts of the body—that mind was, needless to say, having a grand old time. So it was that Beast Boy found himself in the position that had been occupied by so many well-meaning teenaged boys before him, and which would be occupied by many, many others after him. That is, his two minds were locked in an intense private struggle.
Whoa, the second mind thought simply.
No! No! Look away! We mustn't think like that! cried the brain mind. She looks like Raven, our teammate!
Yeah, she is pretty hot, thought the other mind.
What? No! You know what I mean! We can't get involved with her! It would be awkward and embarrassing!
But it would probably also be smoking hot. Besides, Evelyn isn't actually Raven, she just looks like Raven.
Well, yeah, but Raven would still kill us if she found out about it.
No way! She digs us! Why else would Evelyn have been coming on to us in the car, Smarty-Pants? She used to be a part of Raven, remember?
Hmmm…interesting point. You do realize, however, that if that particular emotion ended up in Evelyn, it's been purged from Raven. Ergo, Raven will kill us.
Oh. I had forgotten about that. Right, shall we run for our lives, then?
That sounds good.
Beast Boy spun on his heel and prepared to head for the hills, or at the very least the piles of dirty laundry in his room, but of course Evelyn chose that exact moment to wake up. Out of the corner of his eye, Beast Boy saw her sit up, yawn, and stretch. Realizing the inevitable consequences of a girl who slept naked sitting up in bed without apparently making any move to secure the sheets about her body, Beast Boy clapped one hand over his eyes. He began edging slowly towards where he figured the door was, but Evelyn's voice stopped him before he could make good his escape.
"Oh, hi," she said as sweetly and innocently as possible. "Enjoying the view?"
"Robintoldmetocomegetyouit'stenthirtyandhewantstomakesureyouaren'tplottingtokillusorsomethinglikethatandyourbreakfastisprobablygettingcoldsogetdressedandcomedowntothelivingroomplease," Beast Boy said, in a rush that even Starfire would have had trouble pulling off. Evelyn giggled.
"Oh, come on, Beebs, you don't have to be so uptight," she said. "I don't mind if you look at me."
"Uhhh…yeah, but Raven will probably kill me," Beast Boy said, his voice wavering a bit. "Wait a minute—did you just call me Beebs?" Evelyn giggled again.
"Is that a problem? And don't worry about Raven," she said, and Beast Boy heard the soft sound of sheets sliding aside as Evelyn got out of bed. "She doesn't need to know."
"Um…it's Raven," Beast Boy said. "She'd find out somehow."
"Hmph. She really keeps you on a short leash, doesn't she?" Evelyn said. "It's almost like you're already married."
Beast Boy didn't respond, and there was a minute or two of silence before Evelyn spoke again.
"Okay, you can look now if you want," she said.
Beast Boy sighed with relief and turned, opening his mouth to say something, but he was met with nothing but pale greyish skin with the occasional bits of purple…He clapped his hand back over his eyes and turned away again, shaking. Evelyn laughed.
"You said you were dressed!" Beast Boy cried.
"No, I said you could look," Evelyn said between fits of laughter. "I never said anything about being dressed."
Beast Boy opened his eyes just enough to see his way to the door, taking care not to catch any further glimpses of Evelyn in even just his peripheral vision, and made a run for it.
"I'll be down in a minute!" Evelyn called after him. "Save me some waffles or whatever!"
OOO
Seconds later, Beast Boy flopped down on the living room couch, a stunned look on his face. Cyborg and Robin looked at him questioningly.
"Where's Evelyn?" Robin asked.
"Oh, she's coming," Beast Boy said vaguely, apparently focussing his eyes on a spot six inches to the left of the TV and fifteen light-years behind it. Cyborg and Robin looked at each other, then back at Beast Boy.
"Okay, BB, what happened?" Cyborg asked. Beast Boy snapped out of his trance and turned to look at him. His eyes darted back and forth to make sure nobody else was in earshot. Starfire was still cooking in the kitchen, having transferred her mixture to another pot after it ate through the bottom of the last one, and Raven was still reading across the room.
"Well, let's put it this way," he said in a barely audible whisper. "If Evelyn is an exact copy of Raven other than the eyes and fangs, I now have certain evidence that Raven is, in fact, a natural purple."
The other two boys looked confused for a moment, and then gaped at Beast Boy. He nodded gravely.
"Please don't tell Raven. I didn't mean to see Evelyn like that, she ambushed me, but Raven will still kill me if she finds out," he said, just as Evelyn entered the room, a huge smile on her face.
"Hey, everybody!" she shouted. "Guess who just saw me naked!"
Raven didn't move, but every light bulb in the room shattered at once, the cupboards all opened spontaneously, dumping out their contents, and the microwave exploded, causing Starfire to dive for cover under the kitchen table.
"Oh, shit," said Beast Boy.
-END CHAPTER THREE-
Author's Note: Short one this time. I hope this didn't push the PG-13 limit, I tried to keep it as clean as possible, no in depth descriptions or anything, just hints and innuendo. Quote of the Day: "Oh, Ur, your innuendo is priceless." –Inignaut (or however you spell his name)
To My Reviewers:
ravenrocs4eva: Here's the update! Enjoy!
Magpie's Lament: I don't know who this OhmifuckinggodIloveyou person is, but I don't really think that a review is the best time to propose to…oh, wait, you meant…oh, geez, that's awkward. (coughs) Anyway, I think your smiley face thing is upside-down. It's Batsmiley! Fear him! (runs to avoid commitment)
Febreese: Like I said, I didn't mean to single you or Mini Black Raven out or anything, so don't feel bad about it. As for Evelyn's eventual fate, well, that would be telling, wouldn't it?
CrAzY aUtHoR pErSoN: Thanks! Evelyn's eyes will be staying all evil and glowy and red, although sometimes even I forget that as I write this. As for her being funny, well, she might be taking a bit more of a sinister turn later on (heh, heh). I won't be stopping this story until it's done—it's my other one, Stalker, that I'm having trouble with.
Ultimate R-Man: Thank you very much. I hope what I have planned will confound your attempts to second-guess my plot. I agree that many Raven-centred stories have very similar basic concepts—if I see another Raven suicide story, I think I'm going to scream. And the ones where she and Beast Boy, or Robin, or Cyborg, or Slade, or whoever realize their everlasting love for each other in the first paragraph of the first chapter and then spend the rest of the story going on dates and making out and stuff kind of bug me. Oh, well.
Pun-3X: Thank you! It really isn't surprising that so many people obsess over character romances, since humans are naturally social creatures that crave companionship. With that in mind, the romance obsession in fan fiction kind of turns into an interesting projection phenomenon, to use some Freudian terminology that I only half understand and has probably been proven wrong in the last few decades. I'm looking way to deep into this, aren't I?
palekel: You, my friend, have just raised a very interesting point. If all of Raven's dark emotions have been removed and placed in Evelyn, why is Raven still getting angry? Is anger not a dark emotion? Did the spell not really work the way it was supposed to? Was the spell really intended to accomplish some other, darker purpose? Sorry, but if I answer any of these questions now, I'll be revealing one of my main plot points—no, I didn't just make a mistake, Raven's continued anger is very much according to plan. This will probably be a fairly short story in all, probably only six or seven chapters at the most, so you won't have to wait long to see how it all pans out. I will say that this precise point comes back to bite Raven in the ass eventually. I don't know about the Rae/Eve action, though. I tend to prefer a little more variety in my lesbians.
Blackbird: Care Bears? Maybe Hot Topic is switching over to emo or something. This just in, folks! Emo is the new Goth! (or not…) Anyway, like I said, I won't go into Evelyn's fate just now, since that would be telling. Oh, and while you're most likely right about it, I don't see why the show would stay away from evil female characters just because of the whole cleavage issue. Hell, just look at Starfire in her mini-skirt and hooker boots. And Raven wandering around in what is effectively a long-sleeved bathing suit all the time (aside from the cloak of course)? Case closed, people. However, I'm pretty sure that even if the WB changes its policy on female supervillain cleavage, this particular chapter still won't make it into the show. So, to recap: cleavage, maybe; nudity, definitely not.